'Here, brownie-brownie-brownie,' Garrett cooed, peering into the washing machine.

'That's not going to help, Gar,' said Roland.

'Hey, it helps me,' said Garrett, 'okay?'

'Sure,' said Roland. 'I just hope you don't scare it off.'

'Just make sure it doesn't get a look at your face if you're worried about that,' Garrett muttered.

Feeling slightly peeved, Garrett opened the door of the tumble drier. As his mind was elsewhere, he was caught off guard when a brownie leapt straight at his chest and shoved him right over onto his back.

'Hey!' Garrett objected. 'Jeez, these little guys are stronger than they look!'

'I see it!' said Roland, levelling his proton weapon at the scampering creature. 'Get a trap ready!'

'Yeah, I'll get right on that,' Garrett muttered sarcastically, flailing his arms around to demonstrate the limitations of his current range of movement.

Roland shot a proton beam into the corner of the room, but the brownie had already made its escape. Holstering his weapon, Roland came over to Garrett and helped him to right his chair and get himself back into it properly.

'Did you hit it?' asked Garrett.

'No, I missed,' said Roland.

'Well come on, let's get after it!' said Garrett.

They skidded back into the front hallway just in time to see the brownie scampering up the stairs. Eduardo was standing on the upstairs landing with his back to the staircase. The brownie leapt neatly onto his head.

'Argh!' Eduardo squeaked. 'Ew, it's in my hair, man!'

Kylie immediately appeared from one of the bedrooms and levelled her proton pistol at Eduardo's head.

'Hey, don't shoot me!' Eduardo squealed, becoming more agitated by the second.

'I'm not going to shoot you,' said Kylie. 'Brush it off, quick!'

Eduardo reached up and flicked the creature onto the carpet. Kylie immediately fired at it, but it leaped out of the way and slammed itself into Kylie's midsection. Winded, she fell backwards and almost toppled down the staircase, but Eduardo stepped in and grabbed her arm just in time.

'Thanks,' said Kylie, steadying herself and rubbing her abdomen.

'No problem,' said Eduardo, releasing her arm. 'Those brownies are stronger than they look, huh?'

'So it seems,' said Kylie. 'Where'd it go?'

As they both looked around vaguely, the brownie darted between them and hurtled down the staircase, laughing and pulling rude faces as it went. It was so busy taunting Eduardo and Kylie that it failed to notice what was happening at the foot of the staircase. The creature's sneering expression changed to one of horror as the full force of Roland's proton beam hit it. Garrett held a ghost trap open across his chest, and Roland manoeuvred the creature into the entrapment beam. A second later, the trap clanged shut. Unfortunately the force of this caused Garrett to topple over backwards again.

'Twice in as many minutes,' said Garrett, as Roland helped him up again. 'That's got to be a new record.'

'At least we got it,' said Roland. 'That's two renegade brownies out of business!'

'And that's the end of that,' Eduardo said with finality, as he came down the stairs.

'Not necessarily,' said Kylie, following behind Eduardo. 'We've already had one "isolated" incident turn into two. Who's to say there won't be more?'

'You mean these brownies might not be renegades at all,' said Roland. 'There could be something bigger going on here.'

'Exactly,' said Kylie. 'One renegade brownie – okay. Two – well, that could be a coincidence. But if we get any more calls...'

'It'll start to be a trend,' said Roland. 'You're right, Kylie – if these two incidents aren't really isolated, this could only be the beginning.'

'Hey, we've probably heard the last of it, man,' said Eduardo. 'A couple of brownie hoodlums decided to cause some trouble; we trapped them, end of story!'

'I hope you're right, Eduardo,' said Roland, 'I really do.'

Egon looked up from his computer as Roland and Eduardo returned from the basement.

'Another one safely locked up in the big house,' said Eduardo.

'That's four brownies in four days,' said Roland. 'It's becoming an epidemic.'

'It's certainly a somewhat worrying trend,' said Egon. 'And I still haven't been able to find any records of brownies acting in this way before.'

'I hope they're not planning some kind of co-ordinated attack on the city,' said Kylie, who was flicking through a textbook on the couch nearby.

'If they are, they're sure starting off small,' said Garrett, as he trundled in from the kitchen with a large sandwich on his lap. 'Broken dishes and leaky washing machines are annoying, but they're hardly going to bring the city to its knees.'

'It won't do any good sitting around here and speculating like this,' said Egon. 'Somehow, we need to find out what's really going on.'

'Why don't we just ask one of those little diablos?' said Eduardo.

'Yeah, sure,' said Garrett. 'We'll just suck one out of the containment unit and say, "Hey, why have you guys been trashing a bunch of houses?" and hope he sings like a canary!'

'Why not?' said Egon, causing three surprised pairs of eyes to fix on him at once. 'Eduardo's plan is perfect in its simplicity. I went to the trouble of building a device that can extract a specific ghost from the containment unit after we went through all that business with Slimer getting stuck in there, but so far it's only been used for the illicit liberation of the Grundle.'

'A successful test run, if nothing else,' Roland said dryly.

'Precisely,' said Egon. 'But now we can put it to good use and have a word with one of those brownies.'

'Oh yeah,' said Kylie. 'Good plan, Eduardo.'

'Hey, any genius might have thought it up,' Eduardo grinned. 'It just happened to be me.'

'Okay, she's in good and tight,' said Roland, as he finished attaching the hose-like protrusion of the ghost extractor to the containment unit.

'It'll take a few moments to lock on to the PKE signal,' said Egon, tapping away at the computer to which the extractor was attached. 'I've fed in the readings from all four of the brownies you've caught, so hopefully it won't take too long to get a match.'

Sure enough, the metal hose began to crackle with energy and a small figure started to materialise in the containment vortex. Eduardo, Kylie, Garrett and Roland immediately recognised the brownie they had caught in Beth's dining room.

'Hey, what's going on here?' the brownie said in a high-pitched voice. 'Where am I? Who are you? Hey, you're the ones who tricked me into jumping inside that weird yellow box!'

'Yeah, well only because you were tearing my sister-in-law's house apart,' Eduardo shot back at the creature. 'What did you think you were doing, huh?'

The brownie made no reply, but folded its arms and made a rude face at Eduardo.

'He won't tell us anything,' said Garrett. 'Let's try to get a fix on another one.'

'No, wait,' said Kylie. 'We haven't given him a chance yet; you have to go about these things in the right way.'

'Okay then,' said Eduardo, 'you try talking to him, Kylie.'

'I will,' said Kylie, frowning determinedly. 'Er, hi there. Listen, we know what you are and we know that you usually like to go around helping people by doing their housework. I'm sure there's a very good reason for what you were doing in the house where we captured you, and we're just hoping you can help us understand what it is.'

'A good reason?' said the brownie. 'Of course there's a good reason! I'm a brownie and proud of it! I'd never betray my kind by trashing a house unless the people who lived there totally deserved it!'

'Look, man, I know my family can be a handful, but they couldn't have done anything that bad to you,' said Eduardo.

'That's what you think!' the brownie scoffed. 'Didn't I start doing all their housework for them, just like a good brownie should? Didn't I polish the buttons on that cop's uniform until they sparkled? Didn't I stack the dishwasher neatly and carefully? Didn't I scrub all the stains off that boy's underpants? Goodness only knows what some of them were!'

'Yes, we know you did all that,' said Kylie. 'We just don't understand why you stopped.'

'You don't understand why I stopped?' the brownie squeaked incredulously. 'Well, wouldn't you stop if you did all that and didn't receive even a tiny token of thanks?'

'That's why you did it?' Roland queried in surprise. 'Because they didn't thank you.'

'You shouldn't do things for thanks, man,' said Garrett. 'Of course it's always nice to get it, but...'

'It's common courtesy!' the brownie fumed, stamping its foot in annoyance. 'Don't these people have the slightest idea of how brownies work?'

'Well, to be fair, they probably don't,' said Kylie. 'That sort of thing just isn't common knowledge nowadays.'

'How typical of you humans to forget your manners so easily!' said the brownie. 'Oh, I'm not saying we brownies are perfect, of course. We forgot ourselves too, I don't mind admitting that. But we got back together – all of us – and decided to return to our old jobs. We agreed that we'd all find a house, move in, and take up our traditional role of helpful house spirits.'

'Kind of like a New Year's Resolution, was it?' said Garrett.

'I suppose so, if you want to put it in terms your feeble human brain can understand more easily,' the brownie shrugged. 'I gave that family ample opportunity to thank me, but I got nothing! So, they had to face the consequences. That's fair enough, isn't it?'

'Yes, I see where you're coming from,' said Kylie, 'but the trouble is that you didn't tell the people what you were planning to do, or what you expected in return for your services. They didn't thank you because they didn't understand what was going on.'

'But surely they can't have forgotten everything!' the brownie squeaked. 'You find that your housework's being done by brownies, you leave them a reward! It's not rocket science.'

'People just don't believe in house spirits like they used to,' Kylie said apologetically. 'It really was ignorance, not rudeness, which caused this problem.'

'I don't see any difference,' the brownie pouted. 'All that hard graft, working my fingers to the bone, and not even one single cake in return!'

'Cake?' Garrett said in surprise. 'You wanted cake?'

'Of course we wanted cake!' said the brownie. 'What else would we expect to be paid in?'

'I've been blind,' said Egon, shaking his head in self-reproach. 'I've even come across references to this arrangement during my research, but I simply failed to make the connection.'

'You mean people used to leave out cakes to reward the spirits who kept house for them?' asked Eduardo.

'Of course they did,' said Egon. 'People wanted to thank the fairies for doing the housework, so they baked small cakes to reward them – fairy cakes! That's where we get the expression.'

'Fairy cakes?' Eduardo said blankly.

'Is that an expression?' said Garrett.

'Of course it is,' said Kylie. 'Come on, guys – fairy cakes are cupcakes! I guess we don't use the term so much nowadays.'

'Not here perhaps, but in England you'll find the term fairy cakes used even more commonly than cupcakes,' said Egon, 'though I doubt many great British bakers know what it really means.'

'So what you're saying is, you won't trash people's houses if they leave cakes out for you?' Roland asked the brownie in summation.

'Of course that's what I'm saying!' said the brownie. 'Haven't you been listening?'

'Well now,' said Egon, 'perhaps we can reach some kind of deal here. The brownies want to help people with their housework and get paid for their services in cakes, but the people don't have any concept of the proposed arrangement. If we could somehow get the word out to everyone in New York, maybe the agreement could be made to work.'

'You have that kind of power?' the brownie asked, clearly interested.

'I might be able to arrange something,' said Egon. 'But the brownies would have to agree to a reasonable period of grace before they start trashing the houses. Maybe you could get them to agree to do the housework for – say – one week, and then just move on with no hard feelings if fairy cakes aren't left out for them.'

'I could get them to agree,' the brownie said. 'You see, I am the Head of the Brownie Workers' Union of New York. I'm not asking them to work for free for a week, though. Twenty-four hours should be plenty of time!'

'You've got to give people a proper chance to realise what's going on,' said Roland. 'How about four days?'

'Two days,' said the brownie.

'Three,' said Kylie.

'All right,' the brownie agreed, 'three days. If no fairy cakes are left out after that time, we move on, no questions asked. If cakes are left out, we stay.'

'And I'll do what I can to tell the people of New York about the arrangement,' said Egon.

'And you'll let me and my three colleagues out of your containment unit?' the brownie added.

'Of course, man,' said Eduardo. 'We need you to tell all the other brownies in the city what's going on.'

'Yes, I see,' Janine said into the phone. 'Yes, thank you very much. Goodbye.' She replaced the receiver. 'Hey Egon, we're in luck – they can fit you in tomorrow night! Robin Williams just dropped out.'

'Excellent,' said Egon. 'This will fulfil our end of the bargain.'

'Do you think everyone will believe you, Egon?' asked Roland.

'I'm quite certain that some will and some won't,' said Egon. 'Either way, it doesn't really matter. If people believe me and leave out fairy cakes, the brownies will be satisfied and stay to do the housework. If people don't believe me, they won't leave out fairy cakes and the brownies will leave quietly after three days. The same is true if they do believe me but they don't want the brownies around. However you look at it, there won't be any more trouble as long as the brownies stick to their agreement. And by keeping our side of the bargain, we'll make sure that they do.'

'Are you sure we can trust them, Egon?' asked Garrett.

'Fairly sure,' said Egon. 'We have to give them a chance, anyway.'

'But do you really want to go on Dateline with this?' said Eduardo. 'They'll just make fun of you, man.'

'I'm quite used to that sort of thing,' said Egon. 'It doesn't matter.'

'Those hosts can be pretty full on, Egon,' Kylie warned. 'Who's interviewing him, Janine?'

'Chris Hansen,' said Janine.

'Chris Hansen,' said Garrett, suppressing a laugh. 'Man, he is going to eat you alive, Egon!'

'I appreciate your concern, but it really doesn't matter,' said Egon. 'What happens to me on Dateline is immaterial, so long as I deliver the brownies' message to the people of New York.'

'A lot of whom have a huge amount of admiration for the Ghostbusters, don't forget,' said Janine. 'Egon's a pretty respected figure in this city, once you get past the official line that the media and the mayor's office always stick to.'

'Well, we'll all be watching to support you,' said Kylie.

'I appreciate it,' said Egon.

'Welcome back to Dateline. I'm Chris Hansen. My next guest is a so-called "Ghost-buster". Please welcome Dr Egon Spengler.'

As Egon appeared from behind the scenes and went to take his seat opposite the host, there was a good amount of clapping and even some cheers from the audience. Egon acknowledged these with a small smile as he sat down.

'Good evening, Chris,' he said. 'Thanks for having me on the show.'

'Not at all, Dr Spengler,' Chris Hansen replied, a supercilious smile on his lips. 'So I understand you're here to talk about fairies, is that right?'

'Well, the term "fairy" can and has been applied to an enormous range of supernatural entities over the years,' said Egon, 'but actually the entity I'm here to talk about specifically is the household brownie.'

'Oh right, brownies,' came the cynical reply. 'Yeah, it's important to get these little details right, isn't it?'

'You see,' Egon continued, 'we've recently discovered that the brownies of New York have become active after a long period of respite, and I'm here to deliver a message from them to the people of the city.'

'Oh, a message from the brownies, huh?' said Chris Hansen, suppressing a giggle. 'Well, go right ahead and tell it to us, Dr Spengler – I'm sure we're all just dying to hear what you have to say.'

In the firehouse, Garrett looked away from the TV screen.

'I don't think that guy will believe what Egon says, however he says it,' Garrett sighed.

'It doesn't matter,' said Kylie. 'The people of New York will believe him... well, some of them will.'

'And whatever happens, we've solved the brownie problem,' said Roland.

'Yeah, I've been thinking about that,' said Garrett. 'How do we know we can trust those little guys? How do we even know we can trust the one we spoke to, even if he is who he says he is and he has passed the message on to the other brownies?'

'What are you saying, man?' said Eduardo. 'Don't you believe he's the head of the brownie union?'

'I don't know,' Garrett shrugged. 'How do we know there even is a brownie union?'

'Garrett's got a point,' said Kylie. 'Even assuming the arrangement is totally legit, how can we get in contact with the union leader if any of the other brownies go back on the deal?'

'Easily,' said Janine, coming into the room with a large stack of papers and depositing them on a nearby flat surface. 'The brownie leader decided to stay here at the firehouse, to act as a point of contact between humans and brownies. He said he was going to watch Dateline tonight, so he's probably around here right now.'

'Is he going to keep house for us?' asked Kylie.

'Of course,' said Janine. 'And I'm going to make him a fresh batch of chocolate brownies every day in exchange. I left today's offering on the kitchen table. Let's go see if they've been eaten, shall we?'

Everyone filed into the kitchen. They were shocked to see the room in a complete mess. All the cupboards were open and their contents were strewn all over the place. The refrigerator was open and milk and cheese had been thrown all over the place. The sink was overflowing with dirty water and the table was upside-down.

'What the...?' said Garrett.

'Hey, man, what's that little guy's problem?' said Eduardo. 'He got his fairy brownies, didn't he?'

'Maybe he didn't,' said Roland, kneeling down and inspecting the floor. 'Look at this – a trail of brownie crumbs!'

'Where does it go?' said Kylie.

They followed the crumbs to a cupboard under the sink, from where some very familiar noises were emanating.

'Oh no,' said Kylie. 'He wouldn't...'

'Of course he would,' Janine sighed. 'Now I'll have to make a whole other batch.'

With that, Janine threw open the cupboard door to reveal a gelatinous green mass shoving the last remnants of the brownie's brownies into its mouth.

'SLIMER!' said everyone.

'Sorry,' said Slimer, and burped.