The weight of my jacket clung the leather to my skin, covered in sweat. The suns rays almost blinding. I rely more on my ears for the coming train. I know I am supposed to have 32, but how many will actually make the first hurdle is never a guarantee. Body counts under the rail is usually 2, and I bet this group will be the same. I turn my head away from the city, the tall grass already waving beyond the wall, still green bending to silver against the wind. The train interrupts my view, stones thrown my way as most make it across. I see finger tips gripping brick; no one goes to help, a quick scream almost drowned by the screeching of metal. I count 29.

They are drawn to the ledge where I am standing, a few peak over to the massive black whole. Twenty feet of free air to the hole, then another 55 to the net, and no clue its there.

"This is your first test. No one hear is guaranteed to make it through all levels of training, Dauntless born or not. This is not a welcoming committee. This is where you show us you just might have what it takes." All the transfer huddle together, colors smashed like graffiti, blank stares hiding any apprehension. The Dauntless born drift back in their our group, a few smiles and conversations still continuing. They have no fear of me yet.

"The only way down is to jump. Now who wants to go first?"

I see a hand raised, like it's still school, "There is something down at the bottom, right?" His white shirt and black pants gave way his old life. "How are we supposed to know what's at the bottom?"

I harden my face, already pissing me off "You should be the perfect one to find out," a simple tug of that free arm sends him over the ledge. He howls the whole way down, I know he is face first for a while. His echoing yawp stops and I know its time for the next. Shock silences even the most bold Dauntless born, a few step back away from my reach.

"So who's next?" A tall boy form Erudite sheds his jacket, trying to stare me down as he steps off the ledge, doesn't make a sound as he falls. I force myself to remember his face, he will either be a thorn in my side, or the quiet soldier, fearless to fault. They start heading over, with slight hesitation. An Candor looks across the horizon, off beyond the muddy haze of the empty lake, forcing one leg out like a step. Her fear is brims over, not finding enough to let go. I soften my voice, "Its only going to get worse," I place my hand against her back, if to force it out of her. It's almost a hint of kindness. I look up to a Dauntless face with a questionable look, too brave for my liking. "Do you want me to throw you too?," a shrill of anger leaves the back of my throat dry. He stands on the edge, a once brave posture cowers slightly, he fists his thumbs in his hands, rocks side to side before jumping.

One left, an Amity. The wind was blowing her long hair into a mess, across her face. Her time in the sun tanned her toned arms. Her hands were worn, nails broken down short, with dirt jammed in the beds. The sun lit her worn gauzy clothes, revealing the rest of a harden figure, made by the labor in the field, as strong as many Dauntless. She turned her head towards mine, with a look on her face of regret and not fear. She lived her life in the sun and will fall into darkness, I believe she was saying a long good bye to the sun.

"I'm walking away in 10 seconds, you jump now or crawl down factionless. " My tone much changed, without grit and anger. Her boots so worn, her feet sliding as she stepped up to the parapet, I offer my hand for balance. Her eyes met mine, I am suddenly locked onto her deep black pools. I feel the heat in her hands, as wet and callused as mine. I force my self to not look at the rest of her face. I want her to be a number like all the rest. She slips out of my hand and disappears into silence.

I flip myself over the wall, to the hidden staircase back down to the pit. Max meets me at the hallway, his jacket off.

"How many?"

"29", no clue who didn't make it. I hope he doesn't ask.

"We have no skewed aptitude tests, I'm following up on a few Abnegation tranfers. I think we have a sympathizer in Amity, controlling the test. Jeanine will handle that."

"Any word on the factionless, when do we get control back?" The number of them are growing, living without fear with Abnegation feeding their every need.

"Abnegation needs to be smeared first, let that happen on its own. Your concentration are these initiates. You weren't my first choice for this. Prove to me you need to be here." He leaves, words still hanging in the air, his form disappearing instantly.

My standing 2 years ago haunts me, still determining everything now. Strength overcomes all, knowledge is tool for strategy. I trumped all in both. Pain was my fear, my hardest to break. I expect it now, pain is something I know how to handle. Pain reminds you you're alive, pain brings adrenaline, adrenaline keeps you fighting. The difference between pain and hurt is pain you enter into it, understand it is coming, and fight on in spite of it. Hurt comes from words, promises not kept, needing someone to understand. They are separate; I was judge against them both. Together, they create hate. I can control my hate, conceal it, it is my catalyst. I can lead in spite of it, I can bury it. I can manipulate it, hide it, but I will not let it control me.

A screaming order from a trainer breaks my train of thought, as he sorts the initiates. I like to hide in the shadow, watching them without knowing I already sealed most of their fates; too scrawny, too honest, yes that will get you killed here, fearing everything, lack of identity. The Chasm does that sorting for us, for the mental cases. The rest get flushed out by injury. Those that make it to the end have figured how to work with what they got. A new idea from an old way of thinking, is bringing power back to Dauntless. Its more about soldiers and strength, protection is now secondary. Knowledge is no longer as asset. Bravery and fearlessness will be less divided. I know what I need to do.

The groups head off in different ways, I find her eyes among the faceless others, she has found my gaze in the shadow.