The first few periods of that grey Monday morning day dragged on without any significant events unfolding. At least I think they did, but I couldn't concentrate on school, much less anything going on around me so couldn't really be sure. How could I concentrate on anything? AllI could do was analyse, reanalyse and post analyse my current predicament with the girl I was clearly smitten with. I really needed to talk to someone about this mystery woman, and my feelings toward her, given that up to this point I had considered myself to be one hundred percent heterosexual! But talking to people about this, no matter how much I loved and trusted them, was not something I could leap into without thinking it over first. I mean, there's the obvious problem: that she's another girl for Christ sakes and most of people I know, god love 'em, are not exactly the happy-go-lucky pride loving types. There's also the fact that I don't know the first thing about her. Sweet FA, besides of course the fact she has the darkest, most spellbinding brown eyes I have ever had the pleasure of squinting at from a distance. Really though, if someone were to approach me and say 'hey I totally fancy that random chick over there, can't stop thinking about her or staring at her every time she's nearby and even manipulate my morning routine just so that I can glimpse at her intoxicating features for less than a minute each day' I would have booked them in for a full frontal lobotomy, or at the very least had them sectioned for a few days to get their head examined for cracks. But for me, this feeling of attraction was the most natural, beautiful and normal thing in the world. Though at the same time, it was the most frightening, lonely and unexpected feature of my 16 years. The problem approaching Kyla with this 'problem' was that although I had known her virtually forever, I didn't know how she might react to something like this. Anyone else and I'm sure she'd be totally cool about it, the best person to get advice from, but because it was me, her oldest friend, she might totally wig out on me and I simply couldn't handle that right now. I was still lost, swimming around in my own thoughts, as usual, when the bell for lunch sounded and the population of my English class performed a speedy, vulture like, mass exodus towards the lunch hall. I however, still couldn't eat; I had completely lost my appetite, apparently along with my sanity, a couple of months ago when she'd shown up and thrown my world into complete sapphic disarray.

I was just hanging by my locker deciding how best to kill the next hour when a pair of familiar hands crept over my eyes from behind.

'Where been Carlin? I haven't seen you for days. You avoiding me on purpose or are ya back in rehab or what?!' Oh Kyla. Always the wannabe comedian.

'Nah, not avoiding you' I replied smartly 'just avoiding your totally rancid stench!' I joked. 'Seriously Ky, sort it out or I'm gonna have to hire a man-nurse to give you daily sponge baths'. I wrangled out from beneath her hands and turned to face my best friend.

'Sweet as dude, do I get to pick this man-handling man nurse for myself? Coz I'll take Matt Damon thanks.' She grinned and grabbed me by the wrists. 'Seriously though dude, where have you been? I tried calling you all weekend. You missed a sweet night at Vibe on Saturday and you never miss it when DJ Rinz is playing so where the hell were you?' She asked frowning.

Bugger! Unable to divulge the truth before I could figure out the best way of breaking it to her, I thought quickly. 'Hey, can't a girl be unpredictable? It adds to my mystique! And besides, I don't wanna be the chick who's so pathetic she's always at Vibe every single week, and more often than not without a date, so I just went to the movies with Glen and Clay.' I couldn't tell her I was just sulking in my room all weekend, trying to figure out if I had suddenly and unexpectedly turned lesbian, while at the same time desperately longing to know more about the girl who was the cause of all my current teen angst. I wasn't ready to tell her everything just yet though I badly wanted to.

'Well, that must have been enlightening for you, spending your Saturday night with dumb and dumbest. So what's the plan now oh great and unpredictable one? What we doing for lunch? I'm totally starving.' Kyla pouted while rubbing her stomach. 'Fancy going down to the Attic for a bite?' The Attic was our regular hang out, pool tables, cheap smoothies, burgers and great music. What more could a pair of teenagers ask for? Besides that girl of course.

'Ok sure. I'll come with and kick your ass on the pool table but I'm not really that hungry'.

'Fine, kick my ass on the table but I'm still gonna beat you at pool. Ha ha ha ha!' Kyla began to snort at her own joke. Man that one was terrible, even for Kyla's standards. 'But just remember you're not hungry when you're eyeing up my fries. I know you Carlin'. She said sill chuckling. 'C'mon, I'll drive.'

As we headed across the parking lot towards Kyla's car, carefully dodging the maze of puddles from the mornings torrential downpour she regaled me with the events of another Saturday night at Vibe. 'You're moose of an ex was there with Madison. Like with with, can ya believe it? Dirtyin' up the dance floor like you've never seen! It was soooo gross'

I stopped in my tracks 'Seriously, Aiden and Madison, were there together?' I said incredulously; my voice going up an octave towards the end.

'Well unless you have another moose-like ex hiding under your bed that I don't know about Carlin, yes, Madison, she who is shallower than this very puddle….' Kyla knelt and theatrically swept her arm across a small pool of water. '…was there with Aiden - he who is scummier than the scum floating on the top of said puddle.' I chuckled as Kyla made retching noises pretending to vomit in to the puddle. Then she stood up, kicked her foot through the puddle, and we started towards her car again.

'Well I never saw that one coming' I said truthfully, eyebrows still raised. Aiden and I had dated for a couple of months the year before but we had stayed pretty good friends once we had split up. Kyla, on the other hand, couldn't stand him. She always was a bit over protective of me so reacted badly when he had ditched me. So I couldn't think why Aiden wouldn't tell me he was going out with Madison. Then again, this was Madison. We had all spent the duration of our relationship sharing and revelling in our mutual contempt, nay, downright loathing of Madison Duarte, so that was probably why he couldn't tell me; he knew his life would be made hell for years to come! I made a mental note to find Aiden and question him heavily before the end of the day. As for now, I had more pressing matters to contend with.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot at the Attic, I had decided to tell Kyla at least some of the truth. I just wasn't sure how much and of what I was going to say. But I had to start somewhere. As we made our way inside my guts felt as though they might prefer it on the outside, literally. I was so nervous about sharing my secret with Kyla I could feel my limbs start to shake. We found our usual booth and sat down, which I was thankful for because I didn't think I could stand up for much longer. My head was dizzy and swimming with nerves. Kyla gestured over to the waitress and she sidled up to take our order. 'Hey, I'll take a ham and melted cheese wrap, some fries and a coke thanks.' Kyla smiled up at the waitress. 'Spencer, whadda you want. My treat.'

'Just a black coffee for me thanks.' I said politely, also smiling, trying to hide my extreme nervousness.

We chatted for a bit about the shocking revelation of Madison and Aiden being together, well, more like Kyla chatted and I just nodded at some appropriate parts, or added a few 'I know's and 'totally's, trying keep my shaking body from being too obvious. Although, the more she rambled on the less nervous I became. This is Kyla, I thought to myself, my best and oldest friend. If I can't talk to her then there's no one I can talk to. At that thought I began to feel a little more confident.

Kyla's food arrived pretty quickly and as usual we spent a good five minutes in total silence while she wolfed down her lunch in record speed; pausing only to apply more ketchup to already drowning fries or chug coke from an oversized cup. All the while I slowly nursed my humble, brown, liquid lunch which I'd laced with four sugars, while contemplating how best to start this conversation. As it turned out, the effort on my part wasn't necessary. Kyla soon threw her napkin down on to the empty plate after giving her face a final rub and trying unsuccessfully to stifle a very unladylike burp. She then turned toward me with an unsettling look of genuine concern spreading across her face causing me to shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. 'Seriously though Spencer, you've been kinda weird for the last few weeks. What is up with you? And don't deny it, there's definitely something going on; you're even more stoic than your usual stoic self. Is one of your butt-hole brothers bothering you? Coz y'know I've been looking for an excuse to nail Glen to the door for ever. Please just tell me it's Glen!'

I sighed heavily and in one big gulp downed the last of my coffee for caffeine assisted courage. I knew I had to tell her now. Once Kyla had her hooks in, there was no getting out of it.

'No. It's not Glen Kyla.' I managed pretty solemnly fidgeting with my coffee mug, feeling myself becoming more overwhelmed with the whole situation.

'But there is something bothering you. Am I right about that?' She reached down and grasped one of my hands over the table giving it squeeze 'You can tell me anything Spencer and I promise not to joke about. Whatever it is, I just want to help.'

'There is something going on Ky, but I really don't know how to tell you. I know that sounds weird but it's just not easy'. My voice cracked towards the end of what I was saying and my eyes immediately dropped to the floor. I was scared she might see the tears that were beginning to form. Too little sleep, not enough nourishment and constant worrying had lowered my defences and self control. Knowing this aversion trick of mine Kyla reached over for my other hand, first dislodging it from the mug it was still roughly toying with before grasping it and pulling me towards her.

'Spencer. Look at me.' She spoke softly but I didn't move my gaze. 'Look at me Spencer, please.' She tried again, but to no avail. My eyes were locked firmly on to the floor, growing redder and fuller with tears. Releasing one of my hands, she lent across the table, gently cupped my chin and pulled my face around to meet hers, though I still couldn't look her in the eye. I feared that as soon as I did the tears would begin to roll. 'Look, if you're your not ready to tell me whatever's going on in that crazy ol' head of yours, just remember that whenever you are, I'll be here for you. You're my best friend and nothing can change that Spencer. Absolutely nothing. You're like my only family so seeing as that makes you my only sister I gotta take good care of you.'

I couldn't keep them back after that. Fat tears rolled down my cheeks and splashed on to the table below. I was so stupid. How could I have ever doubted what Kyla's reaction might be? There was a very good reason she was my best friend and she'd just reminded me what that was. I had to tell her. No. I now wanted to tell her.

'K-Ky' I stammered. 'This one's like big. Like bigger than Aiden and Madison big. And I'm sorry I'm having a hard time telling you, and it's not that I don't trust you it's just that once it's out there, I can't get it back' I sniffed, took Kyla's hand from mine and rubbed the tears from my face with a knuckle.

'Spencer, it's ok. You don't have to tell me now' she stroked my remaining hand gently.

'I kinda do Ky, coz it's killing me and I need someone to talk to.' I said helplessly

'Ok.' she replied, looking more and more concerned with every passing second. I took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes.

'Kyla. I've been having these, like, feelings for someone for a while now.'

'Feelings?' she questioned, an eyebrow making it's way up her forehead in a probing, yet still concerned way. 'Like feelings feelings? As in you like some one?' She almost sounded disappointed.

'Yeah' I responded shyly 'but that's not the scary part.'

'Go on' she encouraged.

'The scary part is that……..that it's another girl I'm having these feelings for. I think I'm gay.' I blurted, pulling my hand from hers. As soon as it was said, I dropped my head and fixed my eyes back on the floor, waiting for the explosion, the tears welling up again. But for a full minute there was nothing but total silence.

I couldn't move. I was frozen. What had I just done? Had I just lost my best friend to this horrible admission? I was just about to seriously consider suicide or at least fleeing the country to join an overseas convent when I heard her soft laugh coming at me from across the table. Taken by complete surprise, I looked up to find her smiling across the tear streaked table at me. For the last two months I had imagined this moment over and over, and the look of amusement on Kyla's face was not one of the post-coming out expressions I had as yet considered. Disgust, hatred, disapproval, yes, but amusement?

'Spencer.' she said quietly. 'This is the big secret that you were keeping? That you like girls?' she asked as her grin widened. This was most definitely not the reaction I had imagined.

'Well. Not girls exactly. One girl.' I responded. 'But I don't even know her name or anything about her.' I whined quite pathetically 'And hello? Being gay equals really big thing, like huge life-altering realisation! Which then brings me round to how can one girl I don't even know turn me gay!?' I asked wide eyed but Kyla simply laughed again. This time it was a deep hearty laugh.

'Carlin… I've been so worried about you for weeks now and this is the cause of it? I'm so relieved. I thought you were a freaking terminal case or that you'd started taking crack or something!' She leapt out of her seat, pulled me out of the booth too and straight in to a tight bear hug. 'Now. I wanna know everything.' She demanded excitedly as she threw some cash down on to the table and we turned for the door.

As I stepped outside a great surge of relief washed over me as I realised that whatever I was going through, I was no longer going to go through it alone.

'Hey Ky? I asked once we got back in her car.

'Yes my bestest and oldest lesbian? What can I do for you 'cept for the obvious of course.' she said winking.

'Hey! You promised. No jokes remember' I pleaded.

'Shit sorry Carlin, just force of habit I guess. What's up?'

'Why'd you take so long to react in there? You nearly killed me.'

'I guess with the whole Madison and Aiden thing and now you telling me that we're not batting for the same team anymore, I just needed a minute to process, that's all. Now go on, tell me about this woman that's got you all worked up.'

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter for the very encouraging comments. They were very much appreciated 

Sorry for the delay in getting this last chapter written. I was on my summer vacation but will hopefully be posting a lot more regularly now I'm back.

Once again, let me know if it's rubbish.

Thanx