The Little Death: Part Two
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"He who lives by fighting with an enemy has an interest in the preservation of the enemy's life."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
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"Sasuke," I had to pause to swallow what felt like a lump of lead in my throat, "I'm going to kill you."
He grinned at me, and his sword twitched, out of what I could only guess was excitement, in his hand. "You tricked them," he stated, "Your own team."
"You killed Karin. Your own team," I replied solemnly, "We do what we have to."
"You've grown," he commented, "Mind, body and soul."
"I had to," I explained, speaking not only with words, but my hands as well, "I needed to understand you. I needed to get in you head and figure out why you've done what you've done up until this point. I thought maybe if I did, I wouldn't go completely insane thinking that you had no reason."
"And?" he pressed me.
My eyes fell to the ground. "And I've got nothing," I told him, "I realized I could never understand the immense amount of pain and suffering you've gone through…" I looked up at him, my eyes dark and angry, "But I also don't forgive you. No matter what the circumstances, you always had the option of coming home and being happy with us in Konoha, but you just casted us aside." I took a deep breath to calm my rising temper. "And now, maybe I have gone insane… Because I've come to the conclusion that there is only on way to put you out of your misery," I elucidated, "I'm going to kill you, and then myself, because as mean and hurtful and horrid you are… you don't deserve to go alone."
It was quiet for a moment after I finished my monologue. He no longer wore surprise across his face, for his expression was blank. Which was bad really; I would've liked to know what he was thinking.
After what seemed like hours, he spoke, "Then so be it."
Looking back now, I know he went easy on me. He barely used his Sharingan on me, and when he did, he never hurt me fatally. I attacked; I blocked; We exchanged blow after blow. From small scratch and torn clothes, to bruises and gashes from being knocked against the surrounding terrain. I actually managed to land a good blow on his left shoulder, but I barely fractured it.
At one point, I ducked behind a tree trunk to quickly heal myself. I couldn't die yet, he had to go first. As I was sitting there, anticipating his finding me, I wondered why he was going easy on me instead of hitting me with some of the stuff he fought Naruto with. A small - very small; tiny even - part of my subconscious told me he was going soft because he loved me, but I seriously doubted that. And then it occurred to me. The only reason Sasuke would be holding back…
… is if he wanted me to kill him.
He found me soon enough and I bolted. He chased me through the trees and out to a stone clearing surrounded with huge walls. I stood, helplessly looking up at the walls, feeling like prey that had just been cornered.
I sensed him step out of the line of trees at the edge of the forest and whirled to face him. He seemed to be smirking at me, but he couldn't mask the sadness in his eyes. Not from me.
If he wants me to kill him, I thought, he must be sad that I'm trapped, and he's winning.
No. I had to win. For both of us. I had to bring the end to both our lives so we could finally be done. There would be no more suffering, for anyone.
He came at me once more, pushing me back towards the wall, but I grabbed his hand and twisted it until he released his sword. As it clattered to the ground, I thought I saw him smile, but shook it off. He quickly took a swing at me with his other hand, but I grabbed that one and held it as well. We pushed against each other, but it was clear that when it came to brute strength, Sasuke couldn't match me.
Thinking on my feet wasn't something I was always good at, but when I noticed how close to the stone wall we were, and then his sword lying on the ground at me feet, my actions were no longer my own.
"Sasuke," I breathed, still struggling against him, "It's time."
Quick enough that he had no chance of stopping me, I used my foot to ollie Sasuke's sword up off the ground behind me. Then I stopped pushing against him, and he pushed us both backwards, We hit the wall hard, and blood splattered across it as it pushed his sword through both of us.
It hurt for only the first second, when it went through my chest, barely missing my heart, and then I went numb. Both of us reached the point where we could no longer stand, and toppled over. The tip of the sword hit the ground and pushed it back through us as we fell, without completely coming out.
We lay on the ground, unmoving. Sasuke's back on the ground; me on top of him, the sword coming out of my back. Blood soaked the ground as I knew we were bleeding to death.
I felt Sasuke's heart only a step before mine, Badump… Badoom… Badump… Badoom… Being highly trained in medics, I knew that as soon as his heart started slowing, he'd have thirty heartbeats before he died, as would I.
I fought off the numbness and reached my hands up to his face and hair. "Sasuke.." I gasped, feeling my lungs being squeezed and giving out on me, "I'm s-sorry."
Slowly, his arms crept up from his sides to hold me. It was with that little motion that I felt his heart slow two beats before my own.
30 beats… 29… 28…
"Don't be," he told me, blood trickling from his mouth, "I wanted… you to."
I couldn't help it. Tears ran down my eyes and hit his cheeks. "I know," I whispered, "I just… d-don't' know w-why…"
27… 26… 25…
"Because… I love you, Sakura."
I shook my head, "N-no," I protested, "That… doesn't m-make any sense."
"I t-think it was… in t-the woods, during the c-chunnin exams-s," he explained hoarsely as more and more blood flooded the area around us, "T-That was when I… f-first started loving you… When y-you took s-such a beating just t-to pro-protect Naruto and m-me."
24… 23… 22…
I just stared. I didn't know what expression my face held, but it made him smile.
"I-I had to leave y-you th-though," I could hear his words slurring out of pain, "I c-couldn't p-put you in d-danger any-more, s-so I… l-left."
"Oh, S-Sasuke," I moaned, more tears running from my eyes, "D-Don't you s-see? You h-hurt me… more b-by leaving, th-than you w-would have by s-staying."
21… 20… 19…
"S-Sakura," he cooed, "I'm s-sorry. I j-just wanted y-you to be h-happy. Even if t-that meant g-giving y-you up t-to someone w-who could b-be there for y-you."
"W-What?" I was confused, "Naruto?"
He had wanted me to stay with Naruto. He had wanted me to grow up and get married and have kids with Naruto, because he believed Naruto could protect me, and make me happy.
But I couldn't see it. Even now, so close to dying in his arms, I could never imagine any life without him.
"S-Sasuke," I smiled down at him, "Y-You're a big-bigger idiot th-than Naruto s-sometimes. H-How could y-you even t-think I w-would w-want anyone else but y-you?"
18… 17… 16… 15…
"Heh," he gave a weak laugh, his body shuddering under me, "E-Even in d-death, you ch-chose m-me. T-Thank you, S-Sakura."
I felt it now, the crushing regret I knew would come with killing us. I wanted nothing more than to save us, so we could have the chance to live together. I suppose that's the final wish of any dying person: To live again. I just wanted someone to save us. Or, if not both of us… at least save Sasuke.
14… 13…
I started to raise myself up off of him. I knew what to do. O was going to give up the last of my life to save his. Now, before his heart stopped entirely.
As if he had read my mind, he constricted his arms on me so I couldn't get up anymore. "Sakura…" he pleaded, "…d-don't."
"But," I objected, "I h-have to… I h-have to s-save y-you."
"No," he replied, "Y-you d-don't deserve t-to g-go alone, e-either."
12… 11…
"Sasuke," I leaned in close to him, and brought my mouth down on his, kissing him tenderly with what strength I had left.
He kissed me back. Neither of us minded the numbing pain, or the blood and tears. We saw, smelled, felt, heard and tasted nothing but each other, and that was just fine.
Finally, I pulled away and stared into the atramentaceous eyes that had eluded me for so long, coming through as the Sharigan faded.
10… 9… 8…
"SAKURA!" a grief-stricken, and all too familiar voice screamed my name from the edge of the forest.
I didn't have to look to know it was Naruto, and I didn't have to be a genius to know he was too late.
"G-Guess he f-figured out y-your lit-little plan," Sasuke struggled, "T-Took him long e-enough."
"An-Another r-regret," I responded, "I h-hate to l-leave h-him a-alone."
Sasuke gave another half-hearted laugh, "He'll live."
7… 6… 5…
"I-I t-think, I h-have t-to… g-go now," Sasuke gasped, and the pool of blood grew in size, though I'm sure most of it was mine.
"Me t-too," I agreed, only a beat or two behind him now.
He grinned, "I d-don't' know i-if w-we're go-ing to t-the s-s-same pl-place, S-Sakura."
I leaned over and touched my forehead to his. "W-We are," I whispered, "I j-just… know i-it."
"Tch."
… 4 … 3 … 2 …
"Sasuke," I called, choking on the blood filling my lungs, "I love you."
"I know," he whispered, "I just… d-don't know w-why…"
… 1 …
His heart stopped beneath me, and I lived about 3 seconds longer than Sasuke Uchiha - the love of my life, and my death.
There are a lot of things neither of us knew that day, but we didn't care, because we loved each other, and that was all we needed.
Because love isn't about knowing or even living. It's about wanting.
Wanting nothing more out of life than to be with one person, so that when your lives finally come to an end, you can die…
Together.
A/N:
You may think that this is the end, but it's not.
There's still an Epilogue.
By the way, to see the picture that helped me write the fight scene, ask me and I'll give you the link.