birthday present

Juniper entered the old building with apprehension. She was radiant that she would see Fennel later in the day, since it was Fennel's birthday, but when she arrived in Castelia City that morning, she made the mistake of leaving her girlfriend's gift on the ferry. There was still time to purchase another present, for Juniper didn't have to meet with Fennel until lunchtime, but Fennel's tastes were certainly most quirky.

Her initial present was a beautiful dreamcatcher bought off of eBay, complete with turquoise beads and feathers, meant to highlight Fennel's successes regarding the Dream World. With the dreamcatcher forgotten, though there were few ideas left and fewer options available to make those ideas reality. Since Juniper didn't spend much time in Castelia, she was clueless as to where she could find most of her ideas, such as a decent dreamcatcher that didn't smell like incense or floral octopus slippers. In a last-ditch effort, she went to the one person that she knew was selling out-of-the-box items.

Upon entering the building, she was instantly stricken with regret that she could ever be so irresponsible. She despised having to slip into one of Castelia's crooked alleys in order to reach the location like some con-artist street peddler, and she despised having to actually set foot in this building, which she felt was unnaturally fresh and pristine from the heavy amounts of laundry detergent and air freshener. But most of all, she hated having to rely on the one man she trusted the least.

She shut her eyes in disgust as she saw the sunny blond with the curly blue lock rush down the stairs, waving to her like she was a long-lost relative. Colress was a scumbag asshole; no one could change her opinion about him. Fennel claimed that he was a reformed man after a year in prison, but Juniper couldn't forgive someone who helped almost blow up the world with an ice-breathing Kyurem. So she didn't feel she was being harsh with her chilly attitude towards him. "Good afternoon, Col-ugh!"

Scumbag asshole Colress had pulled her into a hug, and while Juniper was fond of Fennel's embraces, touching someone as repulsive as this man made her feel nauseous. To keep herself from pushing him, she took a deep breath and reminded herself that he was Fennel's friend and not one of the pokemon back on her father's ranch. "Good afternoon, Colress," she repeated, regaining her composure.

She continued to resist punching him as he patted her face with his nasty, gloved hands. For Fennel was the constant line running through her head while Colress began laughing, looking as devious as ever. "I'm certainly lucky to have as someone as admirable as the lovely Aurea Juniper grace my dinky little shop. When Arti had phoned me for my address for you, I only thought he was joking." He chuckled. "Ha, but the joke's on me! So, what can I do for you, Professor?"

Burgh was probably the only one besides Fennel to be so friendly with Colress after the Team Plasma disaster. Honestly, how could even they stand his presence? With a queasy smile, Juniper was glad they were skipping straight to business. "Some things were not in my favor today, so I need to buy another gift for Ed, and I heard you sell the kind of robot stuff she likes. Can…can you recommend me anything?"

Oh, great Reshiram, that felt awful asking him for anything. Colress put a finger to his chin as he walked over to the washing machine, humming. "Yeah, I got stuff," he chirped. "I have some questionable stuff for free and some awesome stuff for money. Now do you have money, or do you want the free stuff?"

Juniper shuddered, hating to wonder what he classified as questionable. Flashing him her wallet, she gave him the response he needed to hop behind the counter and pull out a drawer of DVDs. "All righty, then, Professor, I can recommend you a classic." Holding up a DVD, he grinned. "It's both steamy action and steamy romance in one package. Jenny and Mecha Space-Sword vs. the Five-Clit Octopus…wait, what's wrong?"

He noticed Juniper clutching her stomach, but she didn't care. This was not an appropriate way to discuss business, especially lewd business. There was no decorum in this man's body. She wanted to strangle him now, and she shook her head in fierce disapproval as he wiggled the DVD. "Really? I'm sure Eddy would enjoy it."

"I know she would enjoy it, but I'm not buying it with my money!" Juniper snapped.

Some things were meant to be private, and the sweet intimacy she and Fennel shared was one of them. She did not want to buy a tentacle-mecha porno from Colress, knowing he would know they watched it, even if it was a birthday gift. That kind of secret might have been shared in a swinging place like Castelia, but from where Juniper lived, romance was sacred. So the woman was satisfied (and thoroughly surprised) when Colress shot an apologetic look at her. "Sorry, sorry. I read somewhere that sex can be a source of power. Let me find something else, and you can sit on the washing machine, yeah?"

"Yeah…"

She sat on the washing machine, watching the scientist sort through the DVD drawer. Colress murmured something about how all the DVDs appeared to be tentacle-mecha pornos, scattering them across the floor in frustration. When the drawer became empty, he began sticking his fingers in the other drawers, making the shop a lot less tidier than when Juniper first arrived. But seeing Colress work this hard to find something appropriate gave Juniper a different perspective of him. She never chose to know him as well as Fennel did, not even when they first met in college, but she always sensed something that was deep inside him, deeper than his potentially malicious traits…a kind of boyish mischeviousness that never disappeared upon maturity. Maybe this was part of the secret side that Fennel loved about him. After all, they were childhood friends. Maybe he was even like the brother Fennel never had.

Ew. She hoped not. Amanita was all they needed. Pressing her legs against the washing machine, Juniper resisted shuddering again as Colress walked over to her, beaming, and handed her a small Astro Boy figurine. "It's a bobblehead," he explained, tapping Astro's head just slightly enough to make it bobble back and forth. "Back in the bad guy days, I traded an awesome choo-choo I had to little Nattie for this baby. Boy, aren't we lucky Ducklett."

Juniper blinked, feeling speechless. "Wow, thanks. Uh, let me pay you."

"Yeah, no, that was under the questionable stuff. It wasn't in its original packaaage. You just take it off my hands, 'kay? Oh, excuse me. I did expect this visitor."

He opened the door and brought a giggling Fennel into the room, holding her by the hips. "Oh, Eddy, I'm glad you came. Welcome!" he greeted, swinging the woman around in his arms. "Me and the Professor were just saying how awesome her gift is. Well, I was. You know this Aurea's more modest than you told me. But happy birthday, Edith~"

"Haha, thanks, Colress! Ohhh, Aurea, is that Astro? You're both too adorable."

There was no time to tackle Colress from the washing machine and pummel him because Colress dumped Fennel into her lap. Quickly she let go of her rising rage for the moment to focus on the birthday girl, kissing her on the ear. "Hey, Edith, happy birthday. Have a short day at work?"

Fennel nodded. "Arti, Colress, and I were gonna help me fill my apartment with balloons. Colress, you meanie, you didn't tell me Aurea wasn't coming here first!"

"Ahaha, it was unexpected."

"Well it's a nice surprise, but you still have to wait 'til dinner for the free food. Aurea gets to share me first." Sticking her tongue out at Colress, Fennel turned to Juniper, grinning. "We can go a little early to lunch, can't we, Aurea?"

"Yeah. Thanks for your input, Colress. We'll be leaving now."

Juniper was relieved to hop from the washing machine and flee from the shop, but before she managed to bolt, she noticed Colress stopping Fennel. "Wait a sec, Ed. Before you go I wanna give you my gift a little early. It's a classic and should be great in the bedroom, too."

"Ooh, really?"

Perspective be damned. Colress was more than a scumbag asshole. He was a scumbag asshole rival that needed to be stopped. Fennel could claim jealousy all she wanted, but Juniper wouldn't allow either of their innocence to be tainted. The man was not worthy of being Fennel's brother, friend, or even ex-scientific colleague. Setting aside her professionalism for this one occasion, Juniper barely gave Colress enough time to hand Fennel Jenny and Mecha Space-Sword vs. the Five-Clit Octopus before she knocked him to the floor with her fist, whisking her girlfriend away to the bustling streets of Castelia City.

(Original notes: Co-starring Colress (he'll do that a lot 'cause he's great)

Originally written February 6th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Intended for the previous day. I'm not much of a sexy writer.