Chapter Summary: The first meeting.

Book I

Chapter I - Blind Dates and Vodka Cranberries

Sunday, 11th July 2004, 7.10 P.M.
La Locanda Trattoria, London

How did I let myself get into this?

Seriously. I'm 22-effing-years old.

On a blind date.

In a really beautiful romantic restaurant.

Currently waiting for somebody who is ten minutes late.

So I'm also an effing sucker.

Or patient. Since my glass of vodka cranberry has arrived anyway. It's not that I'm even nervous, but still, first-date nerves aren't exactly something you can keep away for too long. And vodka helps. Thankfully.

Why the hell am I doing this? My fourth blind date in a month and a half. My... whatever-number blind date in a year. I guess Sarah figured that since I'm not ready for a relationship, I'll just, keep going on dates.

The precursors of relationships. The very thing I'm avoiding.

But then you think, no harm in dating, right? This way, I wouldn't have to worry myself about going to clubs or bars, wasting most of the night trying to find somebody to hang out with for the night. Anybody to just talk to, so that I could feel some sort of connection. Just for awhile. And there are no strings attached. Sounds perfect, right?

Right.

Let's look at the evidence, shall we?

First, there was Ashley. A beautiful lady, gorgeous and fun. But she had a kid. Not that I have anything against kids. I love kids, as long as they aren't my own. And in very, very, very small doses. But, her daughter Rae, is beautiful like her mother. And so adorable. But heck, that was just too much responsibility, too soon. I wasn't ready for something like that. Especially when I barely took care of myself. I couldn't do that to either of them.

Then there was Mikayla. She was breathtaking and so... Sophisticated. Sex-on-legs, that woman and I had nothing but complete and total utter lust for her. And that, was wherein the problem laid. A friends-with-benefits arrangement was something of my past, and that was just something I couldn't do anymore.

Sam. She was sweet. And innocent. Too innocent. I ended up feeling something more sisterly to her than anything romantic. And my freak really doesn't fly that way. Nowadays, she calls me up for women advice rather than to make a date.

The thing is, I'm not any good at this. While the women I saw were aware of my issue, it still made me feel kind of deceitful, y'know? As if the longer I continued to see them, some sort of unspoken promise is being made. And I was just not in the position to be making any kind of promises to anybody. Maybe I just couldn't get myself comfortable enough to make those promises.

I love dating, don't get me wrong. When two people with compatible chemistry meet, it's absolutely spectacular. But Sarah and Becca have sorely been lacking in the match-making department. And I'm just not particularly fond of blind dates. I mean really, who actually is that fond of blind dates? But I do it because, Sarah and Becca mean well and I... would just like somebody to talk to once in awhile.

I just, want to be committed to somebody already, y'know? I feel like I'm ready. I spent my time in college, having so many flings that I get tired just thinking about it. I'm not ashamed of my past, nor do I regret it. It's not like I can take them back anyway. I've just come to realise that I'm at a point in my life, when I want something more. I don't want the play the whole wham-bam-thank you ma'am schtick anymore. Though I doubt they'd see it that way but, all the women I've met have helped me to realise that I want to share my life with just one person.

I know that I'll find her when I see her. And I'll be prepared.

I just wish my friends would do the match-making thing the old-fashioned way. You know, invite me to dinner and then invite another of their friends to dinner. I'll meet them, get to know them, under the guise of "having dinner with friends", while Sarah and Becca slip some not-very-subtle hints about how this friend of theirs would seem very interesting to me. They would talk me up to this girl, and that'd be that. We'll arrange a time when we'd meet, just the two of us, and our love story would begin from there.

But nope. My friends prefer to talk me up to somebody they met a few days ago, on the street. Okay, they didn't really meet her on the street. They know her from yoga class, but they were on the street when they were telling her about me and setting up the date! I don't know who is crazier, them for setting me up with a girl they barely know apart from her name and the fact that she is as limber as a cheerleader, or the girl for actually agreeing to a date set up by people she does the Plough with on a weekly basis.

I'm going with the girl, because she's a little late, and I'm a little annoyed.

I look around this restaurant and I see happy couples everywhere. It hits me once again, that I don't have somebody to love. Somebody who isn't family or friend.

Don't get me wrong though. I love being on my own. I don't mind my own company. I grew up with brothers and sisters, but I always felt that I was on my own. Once I realised that, I was okay. I knew how to be with myself. Over time, I grew to cherish it, that time alone.

But still, it would be nice to have somebody to love.

Which leads me to this. Blind date number whatever.

Who is fifteen minutes late.

God, she didn't see me and walked out, did she?

Great, blind date number whatever just made me doubt myself. Uncool.

I sigh, signalling the waitress, ordering another vodka cranberry.

Maybe I should just ask for the bill...

I hear somebody calling my name. I look up and my breath catches when I see her.

Miley.