Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue

by Duwee Davis II

This is it. The end. No more in the touhou circle for me. Here's a bittersweet, distant-future style fic set twenty years ahead of the end of Yutaka's Big Fat Youkai Wedding, the last book in my series of eight. This is number nine. I intended this to be a single chapter but the sheer size of it makes it have to be split into three chapters. I love you, my fans. I love you.

2. The Epilogue- Part 2

Touhou Doujin: The Epilogue

Time passes, even in Gensokyo- part 2

Keine's Village School, the human village, almost three o'clock post-meridian

At the village school, home-time was rapidly approaching, and it seemed as if the whole populace of the school were one giant, coiled spring, waiting to be released at the due time.

Dawitsu was teaching a little English Literature, and was too steeped in his flow to notice the time as he interpreted a segment of Romeo and Juliet.

"So, as you can see, kids, Mercutio saying 'a plague o' both your houses' was not him cursing the feud for leading to his death, as o' is a shortening for 'of', not 'on'.Therefore, what he is saying is that the feud in itself is destructive to both sides, carrying on through the generations, spreading through the city of Verona like a plague of..." Dawitsu rambled, boring the students to tears.

However, before Dawitsu could continue his no doubt pretentious and faux-insightful discussion, the school's bell stopped him in his tracks, leaving his students relieved that they could escape the lecture none the wiser.

As the children began to stand up, Dawitsu stammered, "...w-wait, I'm not done yet! I'm your teacher! I have to dismiss you first!"

The children ignored him, however, and continued to leave the classroom while Dawitsu stared with his mouth agape at the insubordinate nature of the class. Once the room was empty, he sat down at his desk for a short while, and picked up the single red apple that had been placed on his desk. Taking a bite out of it, he mumbled, "...well, at least one kid likes me."

Waiting around a little longer, knowing that Yutaka's class would inevitably run over-time, Dawitsu finally left his classroom and walked down the corridor, and waited for the crowd of pupils to leave Yutaka's classroom before he did the opposite himself.

"Hi, Yutaka." Dawitsu said as he entered the room, "...so, what do you think of the idea I told you at lunch? We can't do it without you..."

Yutaka smirked, "...wow, you're excited about this, aren't you? You got straight to the point..."

"So what if I am excited about it?" Dawitsu replied, "...I think I can get Ran in on it, too. Hmm... now that I think about it, two scenery manipulators would be good... you don't suppose..."

"...Patchouli could be in on it too?" Yutaka finished the mimicker's sentence, "I was thinking the exact same thing. We could all work together on this... it'll be fun!"

Dawitsu giggled with glee, "...oh, this is too cool! I can't believe we're actually gonna be doing this again! All together as a family... uh... group of friends or whatever..."

"...so, should we go to the Scarlet Devil Mansion first, or my house?" Yutaka asked, clearly wanting to plan this out a little more than her older, supposedly more mature friend.

"The Scarlet Devil Mansion, of course!" Dawitsu answered, "We've got to make sure Flandre knows exactly what's happening, and what she'll have to do as part of the plan..."

Yutaka caused her hands to regress back into her sleeves, and began to snigger in a poor attempt at a maniacal laugh, "...oh, this is just like the old days... I might have to wear my old outfit for nostalgic reasons..."

Dawitsu sighed, "...well, they're still in the mansion. I never threw them away. Ran tried to make me, but there was no way I was giving them up..."

Yutaka shrugged her shoulders, "...you could have just brought them to us. I would probably have worn them every now and then. Anyway, should we carry this plan forwards?"

Dawitsu nodded, "Yes. Yes! And once again, Gensokyo will remember the great and mighty thief of the floating mansion, the mysterious mimicker, the cretinous copycat, the..."

The classroom door opened midway through Dawitsu's ham-filled speech, and made him lose his train of thought. Dawitsu and Yutaka looked at the entrance to see Keine, who looked the situation over, before saying, "...I don't know what you're up to, but whatever it is, don't do it here. I'm going to lock the doors as I leave the school, so you have to leave now. Don't you usually get out of here as fast as you can?"

Dawitsu sweat-dropped, "N-not at all, Miss Kamishirasawa! I find my job refreshing and entertaining! I would never be bored enough that I'd look forward to the day ending..."

Yutaka turned slightly red, as, to some extent, she genuinely felt the way Dawitsu was blatantly lying about feeling, "...well, I usually leave promptly, but Mr Dawitsu doesn't usually stop by my classroom at home-time..."

"Oh, so you're shifting the blame, eh, Yutaka?" Dawitsu remarked, "...well, whatever, we need to get going, anyway..."

Yutaka nodded, and the two walked out of the building at the insistence of their boss. Walking towards the lake that separated the likes of the Forest of Magic's residents and the Human Villagers from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it wasn't long before they broke into a gentle, slow flight pattern.

Dawitsu turned to Yutaka, "Do you remember doing this for the first time? Oh, it's really nostalgic, isn't it? It's almost like if I were to meet you for the first time all over again!"

Yutaka nodded despite she knew that Dawitsu would probably keep reiterating how nostalgic this plan was over and over again ad nauseum, "...yes, it is rather good to remember..."

"Ah... the past is good. I dunno, people say you shouldn't live in the past, but we youkai are sort of the embodiments of the past to humans, aren't we?" Dawitsu began to wax philosophical, but was thankfully brought to a halt by something freezing him where he floated.

Dawitsu fell so that he was a mere cube of ice bobbing up and down on the lake, and Yutaka floated downwards in concern, "Boss! Are you alright? What's happened?"

A diminutive, brash voice responded to the magician, and declared, "...I happened! It's me! The strongest of them all! Now, can you look away so that I can freeze you too? If I catch two fully grown youkai, I'll be no doubt seen as the greatest fairy in all of Gensokyo!"

Yutaka turned to the source of the noise, and saw it was none other than the ice fairy herself, Cirno. Not wanting to start a fight, she floated to the side to avoid her freezing attack before saying, "If it isn't too much trouble, I want to access the mansion across this lake, and I'd like to take my friend with me, so if you'll kindly move, I won't have to use the fire spells I know to attack you. I'll just use them to thaw my friend out, and we can get going. Does that seem fair?"

"But... but what does that leave me?" Cirno somewhat legitimately asked.

"...well, you won't get hurt this way..." Yutaka replied, "And the lake's ecosystem will be less damaged if I don't have to attack you. The ecosystem is the very thing that allows fairies such as yourself to exist, so it's in your interest that you don't..."

Yutaka failed to finish her sentence, however, as the anti-intellectual Cirno did not have the patience to listen to how Yutaka could effectively wipe out the fairy population of the lake in one fell swoop, and decided that actions spoke louder than idle threats, and thus Yutaka shared the same fate as Dawitsu- as an ice-cube floating on the lake.

Cirno put her hands to her hips, "Ha ha ha! Now no-one will be able to deny that I am the strongest! I've been wanting to catch two smart youkai for a while... people stop thinking you're awesome for catching the dumb ones like that darkness youkai..."

Cirno floated around the two cubes for a while, wondering what she was going to do with them next. She looked around for any friends that she could show her catch of the day off to, but no-one seemed to float by the area. She finally stopped floating, and sat on top of the cube containing Dawitsu, cupping her chin in her hands, "...this is stupid. Not one person's showed up..."

Cirno looked up a little, and saw a silhouette in the distance, and smiled, "Ha ha! It's a person! She looks short, as well! Could she be another fairy? Or is this a third youkai for the collection?"

The silhouette grew closer, and it was now apparent that she had a strange set of appendages that could quite loosely be called wings, was carrying a parasol of some sort, and was indeed around the same height as the tiny Cirno.

"It's a fairy! It's another fairy!" Cirno declared, "Hey! Hey, you, over there! Look here! I caught two youkai! Doesn't that make me awesome?"

The person, who was now clearly visible, was not a fairy. Nor was she particularly impressed with Cirno's self-perceived heroics. The young-looking girl was, in fact, a vampire, and probably that fact alone was all she needed to inform Cirno of to get her to leave.

Flandre Scarlet floated towards Cirno, and said, "...what is it we have here?"

Cirno laughed to herself, "Are you deaf? I caught two Youkai! They didn't even see it coming! I just overwhelmed them with my amazing freezing technique!"

Flandre looked down at the two ice-cubes, and took note of the people inside them, "...oh. I know these people."

Cirno cocked her head, "Huh? You remember people? Wow, you must be one of those smart fairies that read stuff and remember what it says. Can you read silently? I find that difficult..."

Flandre smiled falsely, "I'm not a fairy. I'm a vampire. I can read very well. And I don't appreciate the fact you've attacked my friends. I also have the power to destroy anything I like at will." Flandre took time to build up a sufficiently menacing aura, "...and when I destroy something, even if it's a fairy, it's gone forever..."

Cirno's brain was evaluating a simple fight or flight decision. After coming to the healthy conclusion that potentially dying forever was not worth a third frozen youkai, the fairy scrambled off the ice cube she was sitting on, and she flew for the furthest end of the lake from their current location.

Flandre smiled to herself, "...wow, it's a good thing I was out today... I guess I never would have been able to go out at all if it wasn't for these two... here's a repaid debt..."

The vampiress got out her trademark weapon of choice, Laevateinn, and activated it, setting it alight. Holding it by Dawitsu's cube, she waited for it to thaw out before moving the sword towards Yutaka's ice cube, and doing the same. However, the two people within the ice cubes were understandably unconscious, as they had just been through an experience that would have caused a human to die of hypothermia.

Picking them both out of the water, the ridiculously strong vampire began her journey home, and once she got back, she lay them in front of the fire in the dining room of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"There we are. I'm sure they'll get better..." Flandre said to herself, prompting someone else to respond.

A certain mature-looking maid appeared in the room, time still very much under her firm control, saying to the younger mistress of the house, "...say, Flandre, you're back sooner than I expected..."

Flandre pointed to the heaps of meat that lay in front of the fireplace, and said, "...I found them in the lake. They seemed to be frozen by some kind of ice fairy..."

Sakuya stifled a laugh, "...they... lost to Cirno?"

"That's the name of the ice fairy?" Flandre asked, "...oh, I'll have to remember that... Cir... no..."

Sakuya looked over the pair of youkai, and quickly put her finger underneath each of their noses to make sure they were breathing properly. Finally, she turned to Flandre, "Good job, Flan-chan. It's strange, you still look like a little girl, but now you're a lot like Remilia in maturity... but it doesn't physically show for you, does it?"

"...do I really act like Remilia?" Flandre asked, "...I'm not sure if that's a good thing..."

Sakuya laughed at this remark, "...I meant you're mature for how you look. I think Remilia's been growing up as well, but she wouldn't like to admit that. She'd probably say something like 'I've been living for five hundred and twenty years, what would make my last ten years so special', you know what I'm saying?"

"Have you been growing up?" Flandre asked, "You know, as a person?"

"I'd like to think so." Sakuya replied, "It's strange, the flow of time seems off. Like something staggered to this point in time... I wonder what it could be..."

Flandre rubbed her chin, "...that's odd. Now that you mention it, the last twenty years or so did pass fairly quickly, didn't they? Where is Remi, anyway?"

"I think she's reading in the library again. It's weird, it's like she wants to replace Patchouli by being her herself..." Sakuya mused, "...I hope Patchy comes to visit soon."

Flandre nodded, "I miss her useless knowledge..."

"You were too young to know how useless her knowledge was when she was still living here..." Sakuya pointed out.

"...you mean I was too immature..." Flandre corrected.

Sakuya closed her eyes, "...fair enough. But still... oh, she was interesting. It just isn't the same when Remilia spouts a useless fact..."

Flandre shrugged her shoulders, "At least she's got something to do. I don't know what to do with my days sometimes..."

Sakuya sighed, "Yeah. I used to be an incident solution expert, back in the day. Now all there is to do is maid work. I wonder if I could still solve an incident like a pro now... then again, I haven't heard of Reimu Hakurei solving an incident recently, and if she can't, there's no way I can." Sakuya pondered for a short while, "...hmm. She now has that kid, and she solves the incidents for her, doesn't she? I wish Rinnosuke and I had kids, that way I could sent her out to war and give that new Miko some competition..."

Flandre felt like she may regret asking what she was about to ask, but asked regardless, "...so, why didn't you have children?"

"Never got round to thinking of it... and, well, I'm nearly forty now... I don't think I stand much chance of having children from this point onwards." Sakuya folded her arms, "...you don't know a thing I'm talking about, do you? You vampires have a weird way of reproducing, but at least you can always do it. Would you consider a human you've turned a child of yours?"

Flandre thought to herself, "...perhaps. If they didn't have parents of their own, I'd raise them and make them my child... Remi probably wouldn't count them as her child ever..."

As if she knew she was being spoken of, Remilia entered the room, and said, "...well, if I were to turn a human into a vampire, it'd be a stupid mistake indeed. The last thing I need is someone to rival me in strength, who in this case would most likely be against me because of the fact I turned them against their will..."

Sakuya cocked her head, "Ah, so it's a case of pragmatism for you. I had always wondered. Has any human ever wanted to be a vampire? You know, so they wouldn't be turned against their will?"

"Only the foolish ones that are unaware of how many weaknesses a vampire have." Remilia answered, "...some even think that we merely sparkle under the sun..."

Flandre giggled, "...that'd make us look so silly..."

"We have our insane cousin Edward to thank for that..." Remilia mused.

"We have a cousin?" Flandre asked.

"No, I was just joking..." Remilia replied, "I was recently reading a ridiculous book series about vampires, and their wars with the cursed werewolves, but in this book series, it was all over a conceited human girl. There is no way that would happen in the real world..."

A fourth voice said, "...yeah, that Bella isn't a sympathetic heroine at all, is she?"

The three turned to the source of the voice, and saw that Dawitsu was not only awake, but somehow standing up, "...thanks for saving me and bringing me here. Who found me?"

Flandre put her hand up, "Me, sensei... I mean, Dawitsu..."

Dawitsu smirked, "Ah. Thanks a lot, Flandre, it's seriously appreciated. You... didn't tell anyone who it was that beat us, did you?"

Sakuya hid her face as she tried her best not to giggle, "...no... she didn't do anything of the sort..."

Dawitsu sighed, and turned to look at Yutaka, who was still lying by the fireplace, not quite recovered to completion. Checking that she was breathing in the exact same manner Sakuya had done, he said, "...ah. She'll get up at some point. That's all that matters. Anyway, Flandre, it's a good thing I bumped into you, because I happen to have a plan for something we could all do together for a bit of fun..."

Flandre looked at Dawitsu in a slightly puzzled manner, and said, "What do you mean?"

"Well, do you remember all those years ago, when your Laevateinn disappeared?" Dawitsu asked, "How I stole it from this house?"

Remilia muttered, "Oh, I remember all right."

Flandre decided to move the conversation forwards, "What about it?"

"Well, I was thinking... can I borrow that sword again? This time, you can be in on the fun too..." Dawitsu explained, "...I'm going to start a new incident, and I'm gonna get Reimu and Marisa to be the ones to solve it..."

Sakuya's eyes lit up, "Oh! You're going to get them to solve an incident after all these years... um... can I be on their side and help solve the incident even though I'm in on it? It's been a while for me too, you know..."

Dawitsu smirked, "...you're a human, it's by nature that you'd be a playable character... I mean, incident solver..."

Remilia folded her arms, "But... if everyone's in on it, that doesn't make it a real incident, does it?"

Dawitsu winked at Remilia as he held up his index finger, "...but Reimu and Marisa won't be in on it. For them it will be very real, as long as we keep up a good act. This is what I want everyone to do..."

Hakurei Shrine, six o'clock post-meridian

The Hakurei Shrine was currently at its usual level of crowdedness- as well as its two permanent residents, its practically permanent visitors, Marisa and Jean, were round to stay. Although Patricia was always happy to see the witch and her student, Reimu treated the two as she treated most visitors to the shrine- minor annoyances.

Despite this, the two had been at the shrine since about two o'clock, and the older of the shrine maidens there didn't seem to be having a problem with the two staying for dinner. Patricia had been charged with cooking her seniors Yakitori, a dish that was apparently a favourite of Marisa and Jean's, although Reimu didn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea herself despite being the one to tell Patricia to make it.

Turning over the skewered meat that was on the cooker, Patricia ascertained that the meat was indeed cooked, and shouted, "Dinner is served!"

Marisa ran to the cooker first, and took about three skewers' worth of Yakitori, Jean following at a close second, however, he took a sensible amount of food- a single skewer of Yakitori. Reimu waited for Patricia to take her share of the food before she got up to get any for herself. The four sat together at the table, not talking to each other initially on account that their mouths were too occupied with chewing.

Marisa was the first to speak up, "Oh, Patricia, this is delicious! Like, what seasoning did you put on it?"

Patricia smiled to herself, as she had been taught the seasoning by her adoptive mother- the real seasoning was the lack of it- there was no seasoning to begin with. The only thing that added to the flavour was any burnt or crispy fragments of chicken that had got stuck to the cooker and found its way back onto the skewered chicken. The taste came from belief, like a lot of the aspects of the Hakurei Shrine.

Patricia finally answered, "It's a Hakurei family secret. I won't tell you a thing..."

Jean took a bite, and after swallowing, said, "...ah, well, if you shall not tell, then Reimu shall know the secret, and I will have to ask her..."

Reimu grinned, "...you won't get it out of me either. I can just say I'm very proud of it. Shows what we Hakurei maidens are capable of on a subtle level. Not that you two laser-toting wackos would know anything about subtlety..."

"Are you implying something?" Marisa asked.

Reimu swallowed her current mouthful, and said, "...it wasn't an implication. I was simply saying you two aren't the most subtle people..."

Marisa laughed, "Ha! Well, regardless of how subtle I am, I was still the better incident resolution expert back in the day because of being a laser-toting wacko! I got the job done quickly, and when I worked with Alice, I was the most feared human in Gensokyo!"

"But you're forgetting that I was the most dependable..." Reimu pointed out, "I didn't have to put anywhere near as much effort into it as you, and whenever I was surrounded by fairies, I had a far easier time than when you were in the same situation."

Jean sighed, "On y va... encore."

Patricia tapped the table, "...Reimu, Marisa, can you not argue with each other at the table?"

Marisa shushed the young miko, "Be quiet, Patricia, adults are talking."

"Yes, Patricia, we're having a mature, in-control discussion here..." Reimu added.

Jean whispered to Patricia, "Ignore them. They are not."

"I didn't need you to tell me that." Patricia whispered back.

The witch and older miko would have probably continued their 'adult' tiff, however, as if fated to do so, they stopped, and the latter of the two said, "...I think... someone's on the shrine grounds..."

Patricia turned to her adoptive mother, "...how can you tell? Should I go out and see them off?"

Reimu shook her head, "No, no. I think that Marisa and I should go out and see it off ourselves."

Marisa was surprisingly willing to go along with this, and said, "...yeah, that seems like a good idea."

The two got up from the table, and Reimu opened the front door, and shouted, "Whoever's on the grounds, go away! We can't be tolerant of Youkai around here, got it?"

However, the person who was on the grounds ran straight at the shrine maiden, and barged into the house, crying her eyes out, almost in a forced manner. It was a certain vampire who had been recently making herself a little more known around Gensokyo ever since she had become a regular leaver of her house, and was almost as notorious as her older sister- it was, of course, Flandre Scarlet.

Marisa put her hands to her hips, "...huh? Why are you crying?"

Reimu folded her arms, "What's more, why is she here, crying?"

Flandre sniffed, and began to behave as immaturely as people expected of someone of her size and stature, "...it's... it's... it's... it's horrible!"

Reimu cocked her head, "...what's horrible?"

"...someone... someone... someone stole my... stole my..." Flandre hiccuped, as if to emulate a crying person to the fullest extent, "...someone stole my sword, Reimu! It has to be a theft! I left it in the foyer, and now it's gone!"

Marisa suddenly began to panic, "...hold on, you didn't tell your big sister about this, did you? Because last time your sword went missing, my house got destroyed by... wait a second..."

Reimu and Flandre both turned to Marisa, simultaneously asking, "...what is it?"

"...that's it! The culprit must be Dawitsu!" Marisa said, "...no-one else would do the exact same act as him! He has to be the culprit!"

Flandre continued to act, "...s-sensei? Sensei... no, he wouldn't steal Laevateinn again... he's my friend now... we put all that behind us... there's no way he could be..."

However, Reimu seemed determined to believe Marisa, for whatever reason, "I say your logic is fool-proof, Marisa! We should go to his house at once and demand it back from him!"

Patricia and Jean, who were watching the entire exchange in the distance, were slightly concerned with how quickly their logic was following through.

"Uncle Jean?" Patricia asked.

"Yes, Patricia?"

"...doesn't it seem strange that Dawitsu would do the exact same thing twice?" Patricia asked, "...well, I mean, I wasn't there when it happened, but it seems that's how they're coming to the conclusion so quickly... it's strange, they're not acting smart. It's like something's making them believe he's to blame..."

Jean shrugged his shoulders, "...he may be to blame, though. Reimu's intuition on who starts incidents tends to be faultless..."

Patricia folded her arms, "...well, I'm the incident resolution expert now! I'm supposed to be the one with the good intuition..."

Jean smiled, "...well, perhaps you should respect those with experience, and see from a master how it is really done..."

Patricia took in what Jean said, and thought to herself. Shortly after, she got up and said, "...I want to come with you too, Reimu! I want to see you solve an incident and learn a thing or two!"

Reimu rolled her eyes, "...um... okay, you can come along, but don't get under our feet or anything..."

"I'm no rookie!" Patricia shouted, "Remember, if I was, it'd mean your training quality sucks..."

Flandre stammered, "...s-so, you'll check if Sensei stole my sword from me? I... I wouldn't want to go there myself, I wouldn't want to hurt Sensei, even if he did steal from me..."

Marisa laughed, "Ha! You youkai are all useless at incident solving, you never help us out! Well... except when we restored the moon... and when we stopped that crazy underground raven."

Reimu folded her arms, "Two times doesn't redeem anything. We shouldn't expect anything more from you, Flandre. You stay here with Jean and cry or whatever you do in situations like these while the real heroes do their jobs."

Flandre played up her act seemingly just to prove Reimu right, and said with ridiculously teary eyes, "...th-thank you M-Miss Miko of the Hakurei Shrine..."

Patricia smiled, "...it's nothing, really..."

Reimu's expression became slightly disgruntled at Patricia's attempt to steal the spotlight, "She was referring to me, the Miko of the Hakurei Shrine she remembers."

Patricia fell silent, and Jean called out, "...I guess I'm staying here, then?"

"...yes." Reimu replied, "Look after Flandre, and make sure she doesn't destroy anything while I'm gone..."

Jean nodded, "Of course..."

Reimu turned to Marisa and Patricia, "Okay, you two! Let's go!"

The three walked out the door, and just as they were about to float upwards to the Dawitsu Mansion, a voice called out to stop them, almost as if it had been waiting to interrupt them.

"Oh! Hello, Reimu!" the voice of Sakuya called out, "You three seem like you're in a hurry to go somewhere..."

Reimu turned to the source of the voice, and said, "Oh, strange that I should see you here. Why did you decide to appear at such a specific time?"

Sakuya sweat-dropped, and said, "...well, I was out, looking for Flandre for the mistress. It's her teatime, you see, so I was thinking of getting her home..."

"Oh, right. Well, she's in the shrine's main building, crying her eyes out over some lost sword. In fact, that's why we're going out, to get it back from that no-good youkai mimicker..." Reimu explained.

"...I see... so... you're solving in incident?" Sakuya asked.

"Um... it's not really an incident, but... yeah, I guess we're going out to blow stuff up." Marisa answered.

Sakuya rubbed her chin, as if thinking, and finally said, "That sounds like fun! Can I join you guys?"

Reimu sighed, "...what happened to finding Flandre and getting her home?"

Sakuya cursed herself for coming up with a story so easily picked apart, and so she said, "...well... um... I'll just go inside and tell her that she needs to go home, and then I'll join you guys, okay? It's been so long since I've been incident solving..."

Quickly disappearing, and after a suitable amount of time, reappearing, she said hurriedly, "Okay, everything's done, let's go!"

Marisa wasn't so sure, "...that didn't seem like long enough to tell Flandre to go home..."

Sakuya stayed quiet after this, and Patricia shrugged her shoulders, "Okay, can we just do this incident solution thing? I want to see why Reimu goes on about how much better she is than me..."

Sakuya quickly took the opportunity, and said, "Yes, the girl's right, we need to get Flandre's sword back!"

Reimu turned to Marisa, "...do you smell something fishy about this incident?"

Marisa rubbed her chin, "...perhaps. But I'm sure that if we just approach it like every other incident we've solved, then everything will reveal itself in due time..."

The three past-it incident solvers and their young equivalent of an intern floated upwards, to the Dawitsu Mansion, and much to the surprise of all but Sakuya, who still did her best to act surprised despite this, the door was wide open. Floating through the door one by one, the first thing that was off made itself instantly apparent- the foyer was completely different to usual.

The mansion seemed far bigger on the inside than it did on the outside, even more so than usual, and the space within the mansion's equivalent of a ground floor was simply a large, psychedelic expanse.

Reimu rubbed her eyes, "Um... am I dreaming this?"

Marisa shook her head, "Nope. You're seeing what I'm seeing... it's just like the one time I cooked the wrong type of mushroom..."

Sakuya folded her arms, "...come on, we've seen weirder, right? We've fought Enma, for pity's sake!"

Patricia was holding her head, "...oh... I'm not sure if I can take this... I'm feeling a little sick..."

Reimu gave her successor a gentle cuff on the head, "Snap out of it, Patricia! You're meant to be the person who'll solve incidents when I'm unable to! This guy's a small fry, if you can't handle the tricks he's pulling, then how will you handle the real incidents?"

"I have handled real incidents!" Patricia shouted.

"Well, then fly forward with us, then!" Reimu commanded, "...this is gonna be different to the first time we got here..."

The four flew forwards, and instantly, as if sensors had caught the sight of them, upbeat music began to play, and the background that seemed to surround the group began to pulse, each pulse accentuating a particular colour within the hallucinogenic mixture. At this point, the fight began, and small, grey, flying disks appeared, firing lasers randomly from themselves.

Sakuya instinctively threw her knives at the unidentified flying objects, but the metal surfaces of the minions easily deflected the projectiles.

Sakuya shrugged, "...um... guess I should have brought other things to throw..."

Reimu sighed, "Guess I have to do everything myself, eh?"

Reimu took to flying ahead, and Patricia took her place by her side. The two threw talismans at the flying saucers, but alas, they were mere paper to the UFOs, and simply stuck to the surfaces of the disks.

Marisa rolled her eyes, "Look, they're clearly not living, the only thing that can beat them is... RAW DESTRUCTION! Outta the way, I'm gonna use my annihilation of love!"

Marisa didn't wait for anyone to dodge, however, and simply grabbed her hakkero, and shouted, "LOVE SIGN: Master Spark!"

The rainbow-coloured laser was practically invisible on the already colourful background, but nonetheless made short work of the mechanical mooks that posed a weak, but constant threat to the heroes.

The music that played in the mansion suddenly stopped, and the sound of Dawitsu's voice replaced it, "...wow, it took you quite a while to dispatch of those enemies, didn't it? A whole bomb wasted on just the first wave of enemies. Well, I can't help it if I've upped my game, can I? Okay, meet round two!"

Marisa looked to Reimu, "...um... I'm not sure if we're even flying forwards any more."

Sakuya put her finger to her mouth, "...hmm, you don't think that space is being altered, do you?"

Reimu's expression became deadpan, "...you're only noticing this now?"

Patricia shook her head, "...this place is making me dizzy..."

However, Patricia didn't have the luxury of feeling dizzy, as the aforementioned 'round two' had just appeared, complete with music. Spherical floating robots, each bearing a single blue eye, flew into the fray, shooting countless tiny, easy-to-avoid orange bullets, occasionally peppering their attack with a large, red laser that fired from their usually blue eyes. To top it all off, these enemies could talk.

"THIS IS MY RING!" one of the robots shouted.

"I HAVE KEPT IT SAFE, IT BELONGS TO ME!" another yelled.

Reimu sighed, "...I guess that once again, only Marisa can deal with these..."

Patricia dodged one of the robots' massive lasers as she said to Reimu, "How about we throw the yin-yang orbs themselves?"

Reimu cocked her head, "Huh?"

"You know, throw the yin-yang orbs, like you said you'd teach me?" Patricia replied.

Reimu was surprised that the kid had listened to her better than she had listened to herself, and nodded, "Good idea, kiddo!"

Reimu and Patricia both did their part by lobbing their yin-yang orbs at the enemies, Reimu flawlessly hitting every monitor she aimed for while Patricia put up a valiant effort, but did the exact opposite and missed every single attempt at an attack she did.

Marisa was effortlessly shooting down any robot she could hit with her illusion lasers, while Sakuya was floating at the back, well aware that she was useless for the time being, beyond being a distraction, of course. She simply threw the occasional knife, as well as teleporting to be behind the robots, grabbing them, and throwing them into the poorly-aimed yin-yang orbs thrown by Patricia.

The four were getting their heads into the game, and the music once again stopped, with Dawitsu's voice appearing on the unseen intercom, "...well, it seems you're back into your flow. Does it remind you of the good old days?"

Reimu shook her head, "When did we fight mechanical creatures in the past? It was always fairies and youkai. Speaking of which, why don't you come out of hiding? I know you're the one who stole Laevateinn."

"You want me to come out of hiding?" Dawitsu's voice asked.

"Yes." Reimu bluntly replied, "That's what I just asked."

"How about I send out Chen to fight you instead?" Dawitsu said, "...that's a youkai that you, Marisa, and Sakuya all fought back in the good old days of incident solving, right?"

"And so were you..." Marisa remarked, "What's stopping you, coward?"

Dawitsu's voice giggled through the intercom in an almost unsettling way, so that it reverberated through the psychedelic surroundings, "...well, Sakuya never fought me, but that's besides the point. I will fight you. But first, I want you to fight Chen. And given that you are like, totally within my realm at the moment, there's nothing you can do to question me."

Patricia folded her arms, "I thought you were a nice person, Dawitsu..."

Dawitsu's voice seemed to sigh, "Look, Patricia, I didn't actually count on you coming along to this. The reasons for why I'm doing this will soon become clear, but let's just say that you are the notable exception to my plan. Really, your being here is redundant given the context. That's not to say you can't have fun with this. Anyway... Chen! You want to go down there and have some fun with the humans?"

A fainter voice that clearly belonged to Chen was heard over the intercom, "...yeah, sure! I'll show them my difficult techniques!"

After a brief wait, a rectangular-shaped hold in reality seemed to appear, and Chen walked out of what was clearly the grey interior of a lift. She seemed far more calm about the strange background than any of the humans in the area, and was standing on the ground despite it being nigh impossible to perceive anywhere in the mansion as the ground where they were at the moment.

"Hello, you four! I've been told by Dawi to fight you, so that's what I'm gonna do!" Chen somewhat honestly said.

Marisa shrugged, "Well, I've seen most of your stuff before, so really, you can't make this hard for us..."

Chen giggled, "...what if I said that I will only use the very hardest... things you may or may not have ever seen? I will show you... Phoenix Sign: Phoenix Spread Wings!"

Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya flew back as Chen floated into the air, while the unprepared Patricia stayed where she was.

Reimu called out, "Patricia! Get back! Are you insane?"

Chen began to summon a large amount of familiars, and Patricia soon took her predecessor's warning and flew backwards as well, as the familiars proceeded to explode into wing-like waves of blue and green bullets.

Reimu smirked, "It's alright, she never moves from the centre of the familiar pack, so we just need to focus fire there..."

Sakuya nodded, and concentrated her fire towards Chen, who swiftly dodged her flechette storm and continued to summon familiars, spinning rapidly as she did so.

Marisa gulped, "...okay, that's new..."

Patricia, who, of course, had never fought an old-timer stage two boss such as Chen, had never seen the attack before, and approached it as a new attack rather than a jarringly changed old attack. She simply followed the Nekomata as she flew, dodging along the way, and fired several 'persuasion' needles straight ahead.

Sakuya was finding it difficult to dodge and change her trajectory as she did, but was just about managing it, and eventually, Chen decided to change to an entirely different attack.

"Fine! I'll show off my pride and joy! Even Ran-sama's version of this attack isn't as hard!" Chen called, "Oni Sign: Blue Oni, Red Oni!"

Chen fired two large bullets, one red, one blue, and within milliseconds, the large bullets began to spawn smaller bullets from themselves. Sending them straight towards the four, Chen smirked as she observed them clearly getting comfortable with the fact that this attack seemed to be a perfect replica of the original version of her attack.

Sakuya was leading the attack this time, her knife stream being dense and straight ahead of her. Of course, she was in on the routine, and thus stayed back while Reimu, Marisa, and Patricia were edging towards Chen as they streamed the smaller bullets fired from the Oni representatives.

Chen quickly changed her attack's tack, and the next set of large bullets she created came out of her, went to either side of her, then fired off at an angle, criss-crossing rather than going straight away from her.

Marisa looked to the right slightly, before seeing the large bullet surprisingly heading right her way. Only managing to say, "Crap, she's changed it again..." before getting hit, the pressure was now on the more fortunately placed Reimu, Patricia, and Sakuya, as Marisa fell off her broom and landed on the brightly-coloured floor with a thud.

Reimu shouted, "Damn it, you can't change the rules like that!"

Chen shrugged, "What would it be if this was just a rehash? Dawi really wants you to have fun, both nostalgic and fresh in your head..."

Reimu sweat-dropped as she dodged the now more oddly-distributed bullets, "What do you mean he wants us to have fun? What does he want from us?"

Chen giggled, and began to spin, "All in due time, Reimu! Oni God: Soaring Guardian God!"

"If she changes this attack as well..." Sakuya half-remarked, not able to finish the sentence.

Patricia flew back, so she'd be closer to Sakuya, "What would she usually do here?"

"She'd usually fly in a yin-yang pattern, you know, like your orbs." Sakuya replied, "She'll fire in the opposite direction to her movement. It's easier to just see for yourself..."

Chen began to move as she span, taking up a large area in her path of flight. The three remaining heroes flew ahead of her, being sure not to get trapped as she changed direction to start the 'second half' of her yin-yang flight, and with ease, Chen took enough damage to finally give up, and she stopped her attack, smiling to herself.

"How was that, Dawi? Is that enough? I'm tired now..." Chen said to some point in the strange 'sky' of the 'realm' that was once the Dawitsu Mansion.

Dawitsu's voice once again made itself apparent, "...yes, Chen, that'll do. Hey, you guys, that wasn't half bad! But I think you're still pretty rusty if it takes just two little waves of enemies and a slightly modified extra mid-boss to cause one of your players to fall in battle... I'll give you time to let Marisa get back up, and then Chen will lead you into the lift, and we can begin the second level... the video game villain party! I'll appear personally in this one, with plenty of cosplay outfits on standby... but I can't guarantee I'll have Laevateinn with me! Gah ha ha ha ha!"

Reimu rolled her eyes, "Oh, look at you, Dawitsu! You're a big-time baddie now, aren't you? You're acting like a real villain!"

Sakuya muttered, "Emphasis on acting..."

Patricia sighed, "...this is strange, Dawitsu... why are you doing this?"

Dawitsu once again filled the foyer with his clearly rehearsed laugh, "...oh, come on, Patricia, isn't it obvious? I've already told you this experience was not intended for you... surely that information is enough for you to deduce why it is I'm doing this. Call it a service. A favour."

Reimu tilted her head, "...how is stealing a sword from someone who trusts you a favour?"

Patricia thought to herself. So... Flandre, the girl who had her sword stolen by Dawitsu, trusted him. He had also stolen this sword before, perhaps before the two became friends... and the experience was for Reimu and Marisa, and possibly Sakuya, as she wasn't mentioned as being unexpected at this event... that suggested that Flandre let him steal her sword... to re-enact something from the past... that was it! That was the favour! That's why he went on about nostalgia... he was getting Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya to relive the good old days when they solved incidents! Patricia knew it was best not to reveal what she had figured out to her predecessor, as it would ruin the fun, and instead decided to take her leave, seeing as she was probably cramping the 'retro' style of this event.

"Reimu... I'm feeling incredibly dizzy now... I'm going to go home..." Patricia somewhat convincingly acted.

Sakuya cocked her head, somewhat jarred by her sudden change of heart, asked, "Why do you want to go home? I'm sure the next area won't be as strange..."

"It's okay..." Patricia mumbled, "...you three have fun..."

Reimu rolled her eyes, "You're never gonna learn anything with that attitude... but I guess you have been up since stupid o'clock this morning, so you're probably tired. Go on, go to bed, Uncle Jean's still at home, he'll look after you."

Patricia smiled, and flew back the way she came. She headed straight for the door, which was the only visible landmark within the strange, warped version of the Dawitsu Mansion foyer, and soon exited the mansion. She couldn't wait to tell her 'Uncle' the news she had figured out for herself, and floated downwards, landing gently on the Hakurei Shrine grounds.

Running into the Hakurei Shrine's house, she shouted, "Uncle Jean! Uncle Jean! I know what's going on!"

Jean was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a Grimoire over a plate with several used skewers piled on it, and a certain blonde-haired vampire was sitting next to him, reading over his shoulder. After a delay, he finally reacted to Patricia's call, and looked up, over the book.

"What do you mean 'what is going on'? Isn't it just that Mister Dawitsu has stolen the Laevateinn from Miss Scarlet?" Jean replied.

Patricia thought to herself for a moment, and said, "...wait, what is Flandre doing here?"

Flandre cocked her head, "W-what do you mean?"

"Well, didn't Sakuya tell you to go home?" Patricia asked, "She said she was looking for you, and wanted to tell you to go home and get your tea... unless... she never told you..."

Flandre gulped, "...um... well... I didn't realise that..."

Patricia smirked, "And I already know all about the fact that you were in on this, Flandre. You gave Dawitsu Laevateinn so he could put on an incident just for Reimu and Marisa to solve, right? And the fact that Sakuya's behaving suspiciously means that... she must be in on it too!"

Jean smirked, "...Patricia, you are quite intelligent for a young girl... Flandre has been crying so convincingly, I could never have guess that she was acting..."

Flandre turned to Jean, "Was I really that good?"

Patricia put her hands to her hips, "Well, you fooled me also! But now I am onto your scheme, and will..."

Flandre stood up apprehensively, "...look, don't start a fight, I don't want to have to battle a human... I could seriously hurt or kill you, it's really for the best if..."

Patricia smirked, "...will you let me finish? I'm not going to do anything."

Jean, who had closed his book to step out of the potential no-man's land, re-opened his Grimoire, and said, "...why are you not going to do anything? She has deceived Reimu and Marisa, and there may be a trap of some sort... although... it is only the mimicker youkai. If he is still the way he has always been... he should not be a threat to them, am I right?"

Patricia nodded, "...his intent was more than obvious. I'm surprised Reimu didn't catch on to it, to be honest. Dawitsu is putting on an incident to get Reimu and Marisa to feel young again... letting them have fun with Danmaku battles. He's made them pretty challenging, actually, he's set up enemies that can only be defeated in certain ways... that's why I've left. I won't appreciate it as much as they will..."

Jean smiled, "...that seems like something he would do. Is this true, Flandre?"

Flandre shrugged her shoulders, "...you got it completely right. I'm pretty disappointed that someone saw through the plan so quickly... at least it was someone who wasn't actively part of the plan..."

Patricia folded her arms, "...don't act like I'm some sort of side character!"

"In fairness, you have only been introduced in this book alone, you can't expect much..." Jean replied.

Patricia turned to Jean, "Huh? What book?"

"Book?" Jean replied, as if he didn't know what he had just said, "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind..." Patricia gave up trying to pry into the strange breaking of the fourth wall uttered by Jean, and instead decided to manipulate the narrative in an entirely different way, "...hmm, I wonder if they're enjoying the incident at the moment..."