A/N: Tonya Black isn't Token's real older sister, I'm aware of that. I just thought it'd fit right for him x3
Chapter two: Is you're Love True?
Strolling to your best friend's house, you think about you two met. Tonya, who you later found out is Token's big sister, was paired up with you in chemistry. From then you two have a strong and close bond. You recall the first time you confessed that you love Kenny to her. You had announced that you have a new crush, and she guessed correctly. Tonya is that kind of girl who's observant and knows more than she lets on. Also, she seems physic. One great reason why you like her so much. However people often tease her at school, for being so wealthy and hanging out with scum as you are. The result: She beats the crap out of them, then both her and you T.P their houses. Tonya also understands your terrible situation at home with your poverty and parent issues, one other person who cares for you. Being cared for, is your worst crave, you think. Lusting to be cared for, causes you to be jealous and needy, you hate that. Tonya had countered saying everyone wants to tended to, so it's normal. You refuse to believe that.
Arriving at the Black Mansion, you walk through the golden gates, up pass the gorgeous garden, and ring the silver door bell. Of course, your friend answers the door.
"Who is it?"
"Kevin..."
Instantly she busts open the door. Tonya has lighter skin than Token's, caramel toned, inheriting it from her grandmother. Her face is ultimately clear, except for the one eyebrow piercing. Her eyes are dark brown, black hair that is pulled into a ponytail. Tonya looked you up and down.
"Something's wrong isn't it?" She predicted precisely as expected, just by studying you. You nod slowly in response. The girl instantly grabs your arm, dragging you up the flight of stairs, into her room, and locking it shut. You're accustomed to this normal routine. When something happens, Tonya wants to know exactly why, STAT.
"What's up?" She demands, sitting you on the bed with her. A thing you sometimes don't like is, that Ton peers straight into your eyes when she's listening to you speak. As if she knows when you're going to lie or holding something back. Her orbs make you feel defenseless, so you avert your gaze away from hers.
"It's Kenny..."
"Yea?" Tonya prods.
"Today he told me about this new girl at school, that he has a crush on and wants to ask out..." You mumble sedately, realizing how pathetic you sound. You remind yourself of a whiny girl crying about a boy she liked and brood about how he's dating someone. Purely pathetic, you shake your head at yourself.
"Go on, tell me how you feel or felt." Your friend insisted, you smiled gently at her consideration. A trait you do not own.
"When Ken filled in this to me, I felt I was losing him to Addison, the girl he likes. I felt unwanted, jealous, angry, and sad.." Your eye twitch at how needy and pitiful you are. Could you get any lame? You just want the attractive blonde all to yourself, downright selfish. You wish to lock Kenny up in your room forever, never leaving you or seeing anyone else.
"Oh Kev, I'm so sorry for that." Tonya sympathized, you hate it. Now you feel even more worthless and weak. "Now don't scorn at me! I'm just showing I feel for you."
"I know, I apologize." You reply. "What am I going to do?" Your friend made a face.
"You're going to kill me for this, but," She began reluctantly. "I think it's time for you to let Kenny go."
"W-What?" You exclaimed disbelievingly, looking devastated by her advice. Ton shrugged uncomfortably.
"I mean...think about it Kevin. You and your siblings at your house live unreasonable and loathsome lives, neglected by your own parents. I could imagine how tough it is for you guys, especially Karen who's still young. If this Addison girl could bring Kenny happiness, why stop it? You wish for him to be happy right? I know I am ok with you loving him, however Ken is still your brother, did you forget that?"
You turned your head away from her in affliction. You remember Kenny is your brother every time you look at him, every time you fancy kissing or touching him, every time you speak to him, every time you lay in bed with him at night. You've never forgotten that he is your family, it pains your heart all the time. Tonya noticed your reaction and softened.
"Look, I know it'll be hard getting over him but I'll help you, I promise." Ton affirmed. For some reason, you were suddenly outraged.
"NO! You don't understand shit! I'm in LOVE with Kenny, Tonya!" You shout, tears swelling in your eyes from the last sentence. "What about my happiness? He makes me happy! Ken allows me joy when I'm with him, he's the only person in that crap filled box who has concern for me. If he goes on to be with Addison, I don't know what I would do without him!"
Tonya shook her head at you sadly and distraught. You seethe more inside at her pity.
"Kevin, honey please." She whispers. "You're searching for love in the wrong place. Kenny gives you comfort, you're mixing that up for love. What I had for Jason, that was real love. What you have for Kenny...is dependence."
You are shocked at her cruel statement.
"Now what the hell is that suppose to mean UH? Sweetheart, I'm certain I know what love is. Do you think you're almighty God? How the fuck can you tell me what I feel for Kenny is DEPENDENCE? That's a loud of shit! And don't you dare compare my love with your love for Jason!"
It seemed you finally hit Tonya's nerve, because she got up and yelled back.
"I didn't COMPARE it! I simply explained an example, and don't you dare say Jason's name! You know what, you ARE pathetic Kevin. Kenny will never love you back, EVER! You'll forever be ignored by him and be isolated, heck I don't even like you at this point!" You noticeably wince. She keeps talking,
"Face it buddy, your affection for him is USELESS. With Jason, we actually felt the same for each other, we had a chance. But you, you have ZERO chance of being with Kenny. If you ever try to kiss him, or confess to Ken about how you feel, you will CERTAINLY be REJECTED! Kenny will be utterly DISGUSTED by you! I'm even disgusted! He will think you're a freak! Do you understand that?"
"Shut the fuck up Ton! If you and Jason had 'real' love, why the hell did he CHEAT on you?" Your friend flinched, this made you feel satisfied since you hurt her back. "It looked like you weren't ENOUGH for him, so he found someone BETTER! Now that's what I call pathetic. And here you are, still believing he loves you."
"I'M pathetic, ME? YOU'RE the one who's 'in love' with his BROTHER! You're the quietest boy at school, you feel ignored when you're not, you're jealous because you have NOTHING to show for, and I'M pathetic? You have got to be kidding me. You're wrong, Jason DID love me! H-He did!"
You was going to retort another stinging comment, when both of you abruptly stop. Seeing each other's tearing faces, you didn't even notice you were crying. Or that Tonya was sobbing into her hand.
"Ton...I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"
"Just go." She interrupts, turning away. "Dismiss, I'm finish. And I'm sorry too."
You refuse to leave without trying to tie things back together. You reach out your arms and embrace your friend tightly, rocking her.
"Tonya, I'm so so, sorry. I mean it. I was just caught up in my mess.." You repeat.
"I know, I'm sorry too. We're good now, you don't have to stay here and try to talk this out." She murmurs into your shirt. "I guess I lost control of my emotions as well...forgive me? I forgive you."
"Of course." You sigh relieved.
"I take back what I said..all of it."
"Me too." She hugs you back.
Before walking home, you decide to saunter around the streets, pondering your jumbled thoughts. You regret arguing with your best friend when she was just trying to help. Particularly on the comments about Jason, who she's still severely sensitive about. The punk cheated on a wonderful girl like her, when she adored him so. You even caused her to cry, you're a terrible person.
However you're freaking furious of the way Tonya had spoken to you about Kenny. 'You're searching for love in the wrong place.' or 'I think it's time for you to let Kenny go.' That's fucking rich, you boil. When she can't even let go of Jason, the hypocrite. Yet was it right for you tell hate her for it? But then again, she called you pathetic and said all your worst fears. Of Kenny rejecting and ignoring you, knowing how disgusting you are. Is that when you started crying? Is your affection for Kenny really useless? No, Tonya had told you she took everything she said back. However what if she meant it?
Your friend is very clever, perhaps loving Kenny has no purpose except to grieve you. Maybe you do depend on him, it's not love. You dream of feeling loved, since you've been abused by your parents. Are you searching for parental affection? No, that's obviously not it. Or maybe what you have for Kenny is real love, only people with true eyes and heart can see it. You hit the liquor store and drown your depression and confusion with alcohol. It'll be torture, you muse, seeing your brother's smile with someone else. You only want that smile to be displayed to you. Again, you're selfish, even self centered or egotistic.
Entering the house, mildly drunk, you realize it's really late, past midnight. You slug into the kitchen to discard the empty beer bottle when you see Kenny at the table appearing worried sick.
"Kevin! There you are!" You are too consumed and shocked to speak as he pulls you down to sit. You smile to see how caring your brother is for you. You thrive for this attention.
"Look at you, you're out late and drinking? I was scared to death where you where!" Your brother scolds. "You keep doing this Kev, don't become like Ma and Pa. You're too good for that kind of crap they do." You simply nod and blush lightly at the compliment, you rarely get one.
"Ugh, you're like a child. What's been going on bro? You've been acting strange, and coming home drunk just insures me that somethings wrong. C'mon, please tell me? I won't get mad, or think different of you if you do. I just want to help you." You stay silent. He has no idea what's going on with you, or how he would react. After a while, he gives up.
"Fine, I'm taking you to bed. Someone has to go to work in the morning."
Kenny grabs you're hand, shooting your blood pressure up, and leads you to the room you two share. Too intoxicated, he takes off your shirt and shorts for you. Your thoughts are on how hot it feels to have his fingertips brush your skin as he remove your clothing. You unconsciously let out a moan, quickly biting your lip in fear. Although it seems your brother mistaken it for you just being overly drunk, as he chuckles.
"Man, you only had one bottle. You must be a light drinker."
You stand there watching as he takes off his clothes. Revealing pale skin, pink nipples. He catches you staring at his body, though again, he takes this up for being too drunk. The honey blonde guides you to the bed with him, he pulls the raggedy covers over the both of you. He wraps his arms around you, allowing you to feel his soft skin and his scent of maple syrup from waffles.
"Dude, you're going to have to go to work with a hangover, you know that right?" Kenny asks with his eyes closed. Work doesn't matter right this moment, just you being curled in his arms is what's important. To feel him against you, even in this innocent brotherly way. Taking advantage of 'playing drunk', you kiss and nibble his neck softly, humming a moan gently as you do. Kenny shivers and giggles lightly at this, which highly excites you more.
"You sure are horny when you're drunk Kevin." Sadly, he pushed you away slightly. Causing a tiny distant. "You would never kiss me like that if you were sober. That's just weird."
Oh, he has no idea, you grin.
Kevin would do MUCH more to Kenny if he was sober ;o And are Kev's feelings really just dependence, not love?