A/N: Wow, I've never updated this soon before. I'm so proud of myself! Haha. Oh, by the way, I should have said before, this takes place after the contest, but Pirelli never went to blackmail Sweeney and the judge didn't come for a shave. And Lucy really did die.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Don't sue because there's not much to take. It's not nice to take from someone who has less than you, right?
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Suddenly, the two of them heard a thud. Turning to the tables, they saw a book laying there. Mr. Todd walked over to it and picked it up. On the front, in red letters, were the words "Handbook for the recently deceased"
"What is it?" asked Mrs. Lovett nervously. Mr. Todd held the book up so she could see the title. "Oh," she said quietly, "Well, open it. Lets get the basics."
Sweeney opened the book. "This thing is written like a cookbook!" he exclaimed upon examining it's contents.
"Oh let me look at it!" said Mrs. Lovett, frustrated beyond words with the situation. Sure enough, the book was written very strangely. Subjects were arranged by what they were about, and then explained like a recipe. "We need some answers," said Mr. Todd who had begun to pace, "I mean, how did we get back here? Are we halfway to heaven, are we halfway to hell? Where are the other dead people, like Albert and Lucy? Why is it just you and me?"
Mrs. Lovett looked up from the book. "Maybe this is 'eaven." she said with a smirk. Mr. Todd glared at her.
"Or hell." he retorted. Mrs. Lovett pouted and continued to look at the book. After a moment she looked up. "I can't think clearly," she said shutting the book, "I'm going to get some sleep and I suggest you do the same. We can figure this out tomorrow."
Sweeney scowled and stalked out the shop door and upstairs to his shop. Mrs. Lovett retreated to her bedroom and soon was asleep.
"Mrs. Lovett!" a voice whispered. Mrs. Lovett's eyes snapped open to see Sweeney Todd standing above her, panic in his eyes.
"Mmm, what is it love?" she asked sleepily. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Looking around her room, she noticed that everything had a thin layer of dust on it.
"Mrs. Lovett," whispered Sweeney urgently, "I'm pretty sure we've slept more than a day." He pulled her out of her bed and dragged her to the front of the pie shop. "Look!" he said pointing to a small sign outside of the door. It was a "for sale" sign and above it was the word "sold"
"No!" exclaimed Mrs. Lovett, "How long 'ave you been awake Mr. T? Do ya know who bought it?"
Mr. Todd shook his head. "I only just woke up." he said.
Just then, the Italian barber, Pirelli swaggered into the shop. Mrs. Lovett put her hands on her hips.
"Just what do you think you're doin' 'ere?" she demanded, "This is my shop, get out!" But Pirelli didn't pay any attention and began to look around the place.
"Oi!" shouted Mrs. Lovett, "I'm talking to you signor!" She marched over to him. "Mrs. Lovett," said Mr. Todd quietly, "I don't think he can see or hear us."
"What?" gasped Mrs. Lovett, "Where's that book?" She found it in the parlor and picked it up, looking for an answer. Flipping through the pages she finally found what she wanted. "Mr. T!" she said, "It says here that the living usually won't see the dead."
Mr. Todd rolled his eyes. "I think we already knew that pet." Mrs. Lovett threw to book on the couch with a growl of frustration.
"Toby!" Pirelli shouted from the kitchen, "Boy! Get over a-here!" The boy scurried over to his master. "Toby, I want you to a-find a builder, a good one. We need to get-a rid of dissa huge oven. And then-a rip outta dis counter. And-a iffa you find-a anything valuable-a, givva it to-a me."
"Oh you bastard!" muttered Mrs. Lovett from the parlor, "Don't you dare tear up my kitchen!"
Mr. Todd looked up. "The razors!" he gasped, "They're still under the floorboard! That greasy italian is not touching them!"
Mrs. Lovett grabbed his arm. "Well come on then!" she exclaimed, "We don't have any time to lose!"
She dragged him up the stairs and into the barber shop. Racing over to the floorboard, she hurriedly felt for the loose one. Upon finding it, she ripped it up and snatched the box. "Here Mr. T!" she said, "Take 'em."
He did and they both ran back down into the shop. The bell on the shop door tinkled as they rushed in and the door slammed behind them. Pirelli was alone in the kitchen and he whirled around. Seeing nothing, he muttered, "Must 'ave been the wind."
Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened. "'E ain't even eye-talian at all!"
"Forget about it!" said Sweeney, "Quick, into your room."
The two of them sped to her room and locked the door behind them. "There!" said Mrs. Lovett once she had regained her breath (even though they were dead, they both still breathed for some strange reason) "Now they're safe."
"For now anyway," said Mr. Todd miserably. He looked down at her floor and noticed a sheet of paper. Well, part of a sheet; the bottom half had been ripped away.
"What 'ave ya got there love?" asked Mrs. Lovett, who was laying on the bed. "Some sort of advertisement." answered Sweeney.
"Lemme se it." said Mrs. Lovett, reaching for the paper. "No." answered Mr. Todd, "I'm looking at it."
"Oh you!" muttered Mrs. Lovett and stood up to see. "Beetle-gice" she read slowly over Sweeney's shoulder, stumbling over the strange word, "The bio-exorcist. Troubled by the living? Is that the problem and not the solution? Unhappy with eternity? Having difficulty adjusting? Call.... beetle-gice."
"Are you sure that's how you pronounce it?" asked Sweeney.
"No!" answered Mrs. Lovett sharply, "I'm not sure! There's no instructions, no nothing. Oh great, what do we do?"
"Didn't you say that all good things come to those who wait?" asked Mr. Todd with a smirk.
"Yes." answered Mrs. Lovett quietly.
"Then that's what I suggest we do."
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A/N: Well, do you like it? I'm still totally psyched that I actually started this. Review and receive a free meat pie. Review now, and receive two meat pies plus a genuine copy of one of Sweeney's razors!