Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters!

Chapter One

DPOV

***A Little Over Four Years Ago***

"What do you mean you're going to New York?" Rose screamed.

"They traded me, I have no choice."

I knew there was a chance of being traded during my contract, Abe had seen it when we were originally going over it. I just never thought it would actually happen.

"So what am I supposed to do? I can't really move right now, Dimitri!" she gestured to her perfectly round belly.

"I know, Roza, I think it's best if you stay here." I was trying to stay as calm as possible, she didn't need her blood pressure rising.

"Oh, so you get to go off and the time of your life while I am here raising your children by myself?"

"Rose, I don't have a choice. I signed a contract, if I try to get out of it, we will lose a lot of money in settlement fees. I can't do that to you, to us. Trust me, I don't want to go, I don't get to see you all as much as I would like to begin with!"

"Then don't go, Dad can help with the settlement, we can figure it out," her eyes gleamed with hope.

"I already talked to him, do you know how much money we would have to pay?", she shook her head, "Over a million dollars, considering I have only been paid just over that, we would lose everything."

"Still he can help, let him pay it."

"I am not taking money from your father," my voice lowered as I spoke through the grit in my teeth, "I made a commitment Rose, you knew this was a possibility when I signed."

"Yeah, but I didn't think I would be raising two kids on my own when we discussed it," her hope turned to anger in a single blink.

"I know."

We didn't plan on either of our children, more Sasha than Misha, but we were excited when we found out she was pregnant again. I never imagined having to leave her to do it by herself. When Coach Banister told me this morning that I was being traded to New York for a pitcher, I couldn't breathe. I knew Rose would take the news hard and want me to get out of it, so I went to Abe first thing. We checked over the agreement a hundred times, figuring out all the numbers. I wouldn't tell Rose, but Abe refused to help. His words were, "You made a deal and now you have to follow through, no true man goes back on his word." He was right, but when I signed I didn't think we would have two kids during that five years, life doesn't always go as planned.

"Just leave," turning her back to me, she started walking away.

"Roza, please, I would do anything I can to stay, but I don't have any options. We would be broke, I can't let that happen."

"We would get help, you just don't want to be here, it's fine, go. I will see you in two years," she closed the door to our room, locking it.

I tried to get her to open it, after about an hour of pleading I finally gave up, putting my back to the wall, I slid down, a traitorous tear falling down my cheek. I didn't want to leave, she has to know that, right? I couldn't let my family suffer by going back on my word. I had to go, I just hope she will be here when I get back.

I have no idea how long I sat there before I heard my daughter laughing from the front door. I wiped my face and got up from the cold floor.

"Papa!" she yelled as I came into view.

"Privet, devochka, ty poveselilsya s dedushkoy?" (Hello baby girl, did you have fun with grandpa?)

I wanted the kids to learn Russian early on, so I always spoke the language to them. Rose was learning, a bit slower though, I guess that would be on pause while I am gone.

"Why sad, Papa?" she looked up at me.

I kneeled down to her level, taking in every part of her, knowing it would all be different when I came back. Her short brown hair, the same color as Rose's, full of ringlet curls. I blame Janine for that. The chocolate brown eyes that mirrored my own, cute button nose and chubby little cheeks. I would be home in four months for offseason, but she would grow so much in that time. Hell, she grows every day right now, she's almost three and I can swear it was yesterday that I held her for the first time. She was so smart and witty, the best mix of Rose and I.

"I'm not sad, I am just so happy to see you." I wrapped her tightly in my arms.

"When are you…," Abe asked. I looked at the clock, I would need to report at the airport in under two hours.

"Soon," I looked back at my little girl, how am I supposed to tell her I am leaving?

I stood back up, still holding on to her, she rested her head in the crook of my neck. A silent tear falling from my eyes again.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yeah, she is locked in our room right now."

"Did you tell her I told you to go?"

"No, she is already angry enough, I didn't want her pissed at you, too. I am worried about her being so upset, she is too far along to be getting worked up like this."

"We will take care of her, you go and do what you have to."

"Are you sure there is no way out of this?"

"I had Pavel look over it too, the only way out is to pay a restitution fee, it's more than you have put away."

I nodded my head, I really had no choice.

"Can you make sure when she goes into labor someone calls me, I would like if you or Mama can skype or facetime when he is born. I know it's not the same as being there, but I want to see them."

"I will, now, do you need a ride?"

"Mama is going to drive me, thanks though."

"I'll go let her know we are here, tell her...," he nodded toward Sasha, "I'll get Rose to come down to see you off." I nodded again as he walked toward the stairs, I headed to the living room to sit down with my princess.

"Malyshka," I pulled her back to look at her little face, "Papa has to go play baseball for a while," she smiled, she loved watching my games. "But I have to go to a different place, so I need you to be a good girl for Mama while I am gone, okay?"

"Why you have to go?" those puppy dog eyes, she is her mother's daughter, even with my coloring, that look was pure Rose.

"Because….because I have to play more," I didn't know how to say because I signed a contract like a dumbass and they are forcing me to leave.

"Yay! I like you play lots." I chuckled at her.

"YA lyublyu tebya, Sasha. Be good for your mother and DeDe, Okay?"

"Otay, Papa, I wuv you."

I held onto her another minute before Rose came down the stairs. Her eyes were ringed with red and puffy, lips swollen like she had been chewing them, my heart broke.

"Roza," I started, but she put her hand up.

"Don't..just...just go so you can come back."

"I love you, so- so much and I am sorry."

"I love you, too."

I kissed her plump lips and handed Sasha to her, kneeling down, I spoke to my son.

I knew Rose wasn't advanced enough with Russian yet to understand, which was probably a good thing right now. I told him that I love him and I am sorry that I wouldn't be here when he arrived into the world. I told him I would be home as soon as I could and I couldn't wait to meet him. Lastly, I let him know that I loved his Mama and Sister and he will too. I kissed Rose's stomach, before standing to kiss her one last time.

Shouldering my duffle, I headed out the door, sparing one last glance at my wife and children.

***Present Day***

"Roza, I'm home," I yelled as I walked in the front door.

"PAPA PAPA, look what I did today!" Sasha came running at me with a paper in her hands. I picked her up and looked to see what she had. She had taken to drawing recently, it wasn't anything Michelangelo worthy, but for a seven-year-old, not bad.

"It's beautiful, baby, you made this for Mama?"

"No, for you, to keep in your police car. See it's Mama, me and Misha."

"I do see, but what's that?" I pointed to what I thought might be an animal, though I couldn't tell you what type.

"That's my hamster. His name is Chewie."

"You don't have a hamster…" my daughter gave me a shit eating grin, oh no Rose did not. "Please tell me you don't have a hamster?"

"Mama said if I got good grades I could have a pet, that's what I wanted."

Just then Rose came downstairs, Misha close on her heels. I looked at her like she was an angel descending from heaven. I could never comprehend how gorgeous my wife was. In just a simple tank top and jeans, she was the most heavenly creature on earth. During my years in the League, I was approached by many different types of women. Some were, I can't lie, quite attractive. Legs that went on for miles and curves in all the right places. None - and I'm not just saying this for her sake, held a candle to my wife. Her hips wider from bearing our children, but her waist still as slim as ever, her breast a size bigger and her whole body was full of muscle. She never stopped training after the Ben fiasco, eight years of weights and fighting have done her body good. She was breathtaking, she always has been.

"Please tell me you didn't get her a pet?"

"She passing all of her studies with A's," Roza grinned.

"Wonderful," I said sarcastically, I didn't hate animals per say, but I sure didn't enjoy having to clean up after one.

I moved forward from the door to give Rose a kiss, then pick up Misha who was clinging to my leg.

"How was your day, buddy?"

He didn't say anything, he just rested his head on my shoulder. I looked at Rose, silently asking what was wrong with him.

"Bad dreams," she mouthed

"Again?" I asked silently, with a raise of my brow.

Misha has been suffering from nightmares, or night terrors, I am not really sure which. He can never tell me what happened during them and most of the time he doesn't remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming or walking through the house. I found him one night in the kitchen pulling all the pans out of the cupboard.

Rose just nodded and we let that go, for now, I would talk to her about it later. I gave Misha a kiss on his head and set him back down. I needed to get out of this uniform, I headed for the bedroom.

Peeling off layer after layer of equipment and clothing, I felt the weight of the day fall away. Not just because of the forty pounds of gear I wore, but in the fact that I made it another day, I was home, safe and sound. The sound of the peeling velcro echoed through the room, I placed my vest over the door, relishing in the feel of the air chilling my sweat-soaked T-shirt. Withdrawing my firearm from the holster at my hip, I locked it away in the safe with my taser and hung my belt and remaining items, handcuffs, extra magazines, and baton, over the door. Combat boots on the floor in the corner and my shirt and pants to the wash basket. I needed to get them to the cleaners soon, I was down to three sets.

"I never thought I would love the sound of velcro," Rose said behind me.

"Me neither, but it is a sweet sound isn't it?"

"That it is," she came to wrap her arms around me from behind.

The loving contact sending sparks through my skin where her hands roamed the front of my chest while placing soft kisses on my back. I moaned and leaned back into her.

"Ready to practice for the next child?" I joked.

"I am always ready for that, but...I have to get dinner ready. Are Mason and Eddie coming over tonight?"

"Mason, yes. Eddie, no, he has some benefit thing for Jill tonight."

"I didn't know she was back in town!"

"Yeah, only for the week though, she goes back to Paris next Monday. I invited them for dinner Saturday night."

"Awesome, I can't wait to see her, it's been so long. Anyways, get in the shower, I'll have dinner ready in a half hour."

"Thank you, Milaya."

I stood under the hot spray of the shower, letting the events of the day wash down the drain. Today was rough, but I didn't like telling Rose about all the things I saw or did during a shift, it would only make her worry more. When I left the league, I spent six months at home doing nothing. I wanted to make up for all the time I lost when I went to New York. After thinking long and hard about what I wanted to do now that I wasn't playing ball anymore, I decided to join the Police force.

Rose and I had several long hard arguments about it, she thought I had a death wish, but really I just wanted to do something meaningful with my life. Mason and Eddie had become Uncles to the kids while I was gone and when I got home they told me all about life as an officer. It was hard but rewarding, that's what I wanted, so I went to the Academy and joined over a year ago. Eddie had been promoted to Sergeant and Mason was now my partner. Our existing friendship made us one hell of a team.

I finished my shower and dressed for dinner, leaving my hair down to dry on its own. Yes, I grew it back out, I missed it. Apparently, Rose did too, she is constantly running her fingers through it now. As I made my way downstairs, I could hear Mason's voice.

"Oh really?" Rose said, seeing me walk into the dining room.

"Really, what?"

"Mason was just telling me about the exciting day you guys had."

The look she gave me sent chills down my back, damn Mason and your fat mouth. I looked to see where the kids where I didn't want them hearing about this. Thankfully, they were occupied with some dog cartoon on the TV.

"Roza, I didn't want you to worry."

"So you thought it was better to keep the fact that you were shot at from me? Don't see how that helps, Comrade," anger evident in her voice, though she kept her tone low.

"It wasn't a big deal, the guy missed by a mile and…. I didn't."

I didn't kill him, but he would be in the hospital for a few days. I was now on administrative leave, pending the IA (Internal Affairs) investigation that comes with Officer Involved Shootings. I knew I would have to tell her in the morning, but I was going to downplay it as much as possible, that isn't going to happen now.

"I don't see how it's not a big deal! You could have been…" she stopped and looked at the kids, she whispered the next part, "killed, how would I explain that to them!"

"I wasn't though, that's the important thing. Like I said, everything is fine, I have to take leave for a few days, we can talk more about this then. I don't want to do this with them in the next room."

"I agree, but this conversation is far from over."

She walked back into the kitchen to finish up dinner, I turned my attention to Mason.

"Really, man?"

"Sorry, I didn't know that you hadn't told her."

"I wasn't going to, I was going to play it off as a minor incident, now I have to tell her everything, thanks to you."

"Sorry. I swear I didn't mean to cause a fight."

I sighed, running a hand through my damp hair, "It will be alright, eventually." I tried to smile and change the subject, "You want a drink?"

The night continued in idle conversation, no one saying much of anything. Misha was still acting funny when it was time for them to go to bed, so I took him to lay down. Normally, I would take care of Sasha and Rose would handle Misha. They were every bit of Mama's Boy and Daddy's Girl, but I hoped he might say something to me about what has him so upset. I know he is only four, but much like his sister, he is very smart. Though, where Sasha was witty and outgoing, he is calm and thoughtful, like me. He was walking at nine months and talking in full sentences just after two years, the kid was brilliant. I worry though, he is never this quiet, closed off, something has him frightened and I want to know what.

I read him one of my favorite children's books, in Russian of course, and tucked him in. Sitting on his bedside, looking at him, I could see he was scared to go to sleep. He had the same deep brown eyes as Roza, that I could read just as easily as I do her. He got my hair and nose, but Rose's lips and cheekbones. He was going to break some hearts one day. Out of nowhere, he whispered something, I couldn't quite hear him though.

"What did you say? Papa couldn't hear you."

"papa umer", he said just a bit louder, my blood ran cold.

"What do you mean? I am right here, bud."

"papa umer v moyey golove."

As I said, my son is brilliant, he was speaking Russian before English, he only ever did it though when he was terrified of something. Most nights during his dreams we could hear him yelling in Russian to the monsters in his head. We never understood exactly what was happening though, he would only speak a few words, when we put them together, it didn't make sense. I killed me to not know how to help him. We saw several doctors and they said they can give him some medication to help him sleep, but that was keeping him trapped in the nightmares. He wasn't able to wake himself, he would scream for hours while Rose and I tried to rock him or wake him up. We did everything we could to keep the dreams away. I checked for monsters every night, we gave him a bear that we recorded me singing to him, I even slept in his bedroom on the floor for months. Nothing worked.

"Papa isn't going anywhere, I am right here and I am not leaving, okay? What did you see?"

I had begun to wonder if Misha was like Babushka, having visions of things that will happen, or rather that could happen. She often talked in riddles or broken sentences when she would see something and try to give us hints as to what it was. Which is exactly what he was doing right now.

"plokhoy paren' strelyayet" his eyes were glazing over, he wasn't focused on anything. It looked as if he was replaying the dream in his mind, seeing it now.

"Misha, Posmotri na menya, syn," his eyes focused back on me now, "YA nikuda ne poydu, tebe ne o chem bespokoit'sya." (Misha, look at me son, I am not going anywhere, you have nothing to worry about.)

"Promise?" switching to English and locking his eyes on me, I returned his gaze.

"Promise, I will always be here. I love you, get some sleep." I kissed his head and checked under his bed for the monsters.

"I love you more, Papa," he said as I walked to the door, I smiled at him. I don't think so kid, it's not possible, I thought to myself.

I peaked in on Sasha as I made my way back downstairs. Rose and I had a routine set up, kids were in bed by eight, leaving us with two hours of free time together. Most of that was spent sitting on the couch reading -we had officially turned into that couple, I loved it though. She would lay her head in my lap with her own book in her hands, while I ran my fingers through her hair reading one of my westerns. It was the peaceful alone time we needed after our long days.

After about twenty minutes of reading, Rose closed her book with a loud snap and sat up. I knew she wouldn't wait until tomorrow to talk about what happened. She gave me her, "I want the truth and the whole truth" look. I sighed and closed my book lightly, setting it on the table, this was going to be a long talk.

Skipping over the menial traffic stops and report calls, to tell her about the shooting.

"Mase and I were called to a Domestic Disturbance, there was no mention of weapons being involved from the dispatcher. They only said that the neighbor could hear a man yelling at his girlfriend and making threats of harming her. When we arrived, the guy ran back in the house, leaving the female outside. Mase was talking to her and I went to the door and called for the guy. I probably shouldn't have gotten so close, but since they didn't say anything about guns, I didn't think he would be coming through the house with one. He shot toward the door- missing me completely- I drew and fired back at him, hitting him in the shoulder. It was quick and no one was killed, no one else was injured."

"Are you going to lose your job?"

"No, it was a clean, justified shoot, but protocol says I have to be on leave for them to do an official investigation. I should be back at work by the end of the week."

"You know you need to be more vigilant, times are getting worse for officers. You have to keep your head straight," her voice gentle, but her eyes screamed anger.

She hated my line of work, honestly, I couldn't blame her, but I felt like I was meant to do this. I have saved lives and lost a few, but every day I make a difference to someone. As long as I make it home each day, it's a win in my book.

"I know, Roza, but everything is okay for now. Let's just be happy that another day has passed and I am still around to annoy you." I joked.

"That's for damn sure, come on, let's go to bed."

"It's only nine?"

"I wasn't planning on sleeping just yet, Comrade," she shook her ass in my face as she stood up.

I was off the couch and picking Roza up in five seconds flat. Spending the next hour reminding her that I am very much alive and well. Afterward, Rose laid her head on my chest like she does every night, while I traced idle patterns on her back. As I laid there, I kept thinking about what Misha had told me. He has never said anything like that before and it terrified me. I know my job is dangerous, I know that a single moment can be the difference between life and death. I am prepared to lay down my life for a stranger, but that doesn't mean I am asking for it to happen. I wanted to serve and protect, then come home to my family. I would have to be more careful, more vigilant because I will be damned if his nightmare comes true.

I will not let him see me die by the hand of a monster.

Authors Note:

So there we have it, Chapter One! What do you guys think? I know it was a little slow, a lot of minor details and such, but things will pick up soon, like real soon.

I hope everyone enjoyed it. Don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts, I love hearing them. First five reviews will get a sneak peek of the next chapter!