A/N: I wasn't planning on updating this for a while, but as it's David Tennant's birthday, I thought it would be appropriate. :)

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

This chapter is dedicated to David Tennant:

Happy 37th!

The Doctor's "Triumphant" Return

It all started simply enough. With a cough, a sneeze, and a sudden headache, Rose Tyler took to bed. "A little nap." She told herself. "Couldn't hurt."

She was bordering on sleep when the phone rang and jarred her awake. Cursing every entity known to man (and some only known to aliens), she rolled over, taking her duvet with her. She reached over to her nightstand and picked up the phone.

"Who's there?" she sniffled. "If you're selling somefing, I'm not buying." The line was quiet for a moment, and then it crackled to life.

"Well, if that's how you're going to treat me, I'll just hang up." Rose shot up. Bad move. Pain shot through her head like a bullet. She groaned. "Rose," the phone said. "I was only joking. I'm not gonna hang up on you….Rose? Are you there?"

"I'm dreaming." Rose said to herself.

"Nope." The voice said, popping its p. "You aren't dreaming. Funny, the things you come across as master of Time and Space. You wouldn't believe all the junk I've got down here." Rose found her voice.

"Down where? Doctor, is that you?"

"Yep. I'm in the basement of the TARDIS, and you'll never guess what I found down here. A phone! It's an honest-to-goodness phone…with numbers and everything!"

"Oh, my God," Rose exclaimed hoarsely. "It is you!"

"Rose," The Doctor asked curiously. "Are you sick?"

"No…I mean, yes. I've got a cold." Rose replied, in a daze.

"Have a cup of tea, Rose. Of all the planets I've been on, I haven't found a better fixer-upper-thingy than tea." Poor Rose was too shocked to take in the Doctor's advice. "Some people," he continued matter-of-factly. "Now, some people say that chicken soup is better, but that's just plain silly. You can't put sugar in chicken soup, now can you? And you can't dip biscuits in it, or pour voluminous amounts of cream into it, or say 'cup o' tea, guv'?'" He paused, as if thinking about it.

"Well," he began again. "I suppose you could do all of that. But that's just crazy talk! Who ever heard of dipping perfectly good biscuits in soup?! Honestly; what is the universe coming to?" Rose started laughing. "What's so funny?!" he retorted, sounding a bit miffed.

"Doctor," Rose said, near tears. "I haven't seen or heard you in a year and all you can think about is bloody biscuits!" she could hear the familiar I-know-what-I'm-talking-about-and-you're-absolutely-bonkers tone in his voice as he replied.

"My biscuits aren't bloody, thank you very much." Rose broke into tears, torn between screaming at him in anger and breaking out into hysterical laughter.

"You idiot!" she shouted through her tears. "I'm sitting here in my bed sick as a dog and you keep on about silly little things and I've missed you, you…you stupid ape!" The Doctor was silent for a moment, and Rose thought that perhaps throwing his own familiar insult back at him might not have been a good idea. Then, she heard him sigh.

"You're not the only one," he said softly. "I've missed you too, you know." Rose sat up, now near inextricably tangled in her bed sheet.

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"No," he said in mock seriousness. "I'm lying through my teeth."

"How?" Rose asked.

"Oh, I just don't tell the truth and keep my teeth together," he said matter-of-factly. "It's very easy once you get the hang of it."

"You know what I mean," she said…not angry, but very frustrated. She knew he was just avoiding the question. "Doctor," she continued. "you said it was-I thought it was the end. I thought I'd never see or hear you again. How are you calling me? What, did Macronet go inter-dimensional? Is that it?"

"I don't know," came his reply. "I really don't know. A devilishly good-looking and incredibly brilliant last Time Lord I may be, but I haven't the foggiest when it comes to telephones. Why do you think the one on the TARDIS doesn't work?"

"Because it's not real?" Rose supplied.

"That's beside the point," The Doctor rushed on. "I don't know how this works, but it does. And you can be sure that I'll take great advantage of it. So," he continued, changing the subject. "how's your life been? Mickey the Idiot still hanging around, or have you 'throttled him with a banana peel' yet?" He was, of course, referring to a comment Rose had made years previously when Mickey was being particularly troublesome. The Doctor had threatened to tell Mickey about it for months, until Rose had finally broken down in another moment of Mickey being troublesome and had told Mickey herself. Rose laughed hoarsely.

"Mickey's married," she told him. "To some Sally Temple girl." The Doctor tried to sound sympathetic, but he was dancing internally.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. Now how about your mum and dad?" Rose sniffed.

"They've got a baby now," Rose said. "They…they don't need me anymore." The Doctor was unsure of how to continue.

"Well," he began slowly. "you might-" A loud Boom!! sounded in the background.

"Doctor?!" Rose called nervously. She heard more things banging around. "Doctor, are you alright?!" After a moment's pause, his voice was back on.

"Just a broken translating cord; nothing to worry about." Another Boom!! "Make that two broken translating cords." Yet another BOOM!!, this one louder than the last. "Yeah, that's no good. Rose? I've got to run. I think the TARDIS is trying to scramble an incoming signal from some time/space oncoming traffic. Unless I fix it before this last cord blows, it's going to crash somewhere in the 18th century on Lalafroot. Talk to you lat-" BOOOM!! "Got to go! 'Bye!!" The line went dead, leaving a confused Rose in its silent wake.

A/N: Review!!