Disclaimer: Neither sheep-rock nor still-dreaming15 owns Darren Shan because Desmond Tiny would not be the most evil person in the book - there'd be two or even three. Darren Shan - you better hope we don't find the copyright.
After about ten minutes even Darren is getting bored of seeing Mika squeal in terror and some of the Generals are starting to demand better footage. Naturally, Paris would have to choose this moment to open the doors accidentally and expose them all to vampiric flooding. Vampires begin to pour in, both curious and bored (which are never a good combination).
One of the new entrants is a guard named Perliat Cheil, who is well-known in the Darren Shan Fanfiction Archive for causing mischief and mayhem. For some reason this odd vampire is carrying a fluffy, pink bunny complete with a silk polka-dotted bow. Many vampires, seeing this adorable creature, coo and 'aww'.
"I have an idea!" Darren says, boredom running away with him. "Give me the bunny!"
Perliat hands over the fluff-ball to his Prince, reluctantly.
"Be careful with Mrs Snuffles," he mutters but nobody hears or sees the tear in the corner of his eye. He had loved that bunny like a father loves his daughter.
Darren, however, has something better on his mind than Empty-Nest-Syndrome, namely revenge for Mika mocking his Ken-doll Action Figure. He creeps up to the Goth-Prince and, like a true secret-Agent, falls flat on his face and throws the bunny to Mika. Mika grabs it and gives a horrified scream before falling silent. One General has a second's thought where he hopes that Mika has died in his dream. Fortunately, this is not the case.
Mika actually begins to coo and fuss over the doll as though it were a baby.
"Who's a good little baby-waby girl? You are! You are!" he tells the doll in a sickly sweet voice. The whole hall goes into shock at this point, no longer seeing the funny side... "You're not going to poop for your Aunty Mika, are you? No, you're not!"
… until Darren burst out laughing of course – then the Hills were alive with the sound of laughter and the Guardians of Blood all run away in fear of the 'Apocalypse'.
"I know!" Mika declares, "I'll call you Fernando! Wait, no that won't work because you're a girl. You can be Fernanda when I'm looking after you, yes you can be Fernanda." Darren was practically splitting his sides laughing, and Harkat wasn't much better. Then Darren came up with his second good idea of the night…
AN: This chappie has actually been written by both sheeprock and still-dreaming15 and as sheeprock I can only take credit for the last paragraph :( but I will be writing more of this story, yay!