Daphne's Point Of View
This story starts with an alternate view of the Daphne Hates Sherry episode. What if Daphne didn't forget her pills? What would have been the consequences of that night?
Also based on the song « That Night » from Tony Banks.
Donny is snoring next to me, as usual, and already was when I came back from the balcony. I wish I could do the same (well, not snoring, but sleeping at least…), but I can't. Something happened on this balcony. Something that should have never happened. Something I shouldn't have done.
You're wondering what it is? What is SO traumatizing that even hours after it happened I can't sleep? I'll tell you what. Niles and I kissed tonight. Well…ok…I kissed him. And it wasn't traumatizing, it was heavenly, it was perfect, it was everything I ever dreamed of…damn it! It would have been a lot easier if it would have been traumatizing after all…I am so confused I think I'm gonna go crazy before tomorrow morning. Cause I'm getting married tomorrow, haven't I told you? Yes, I'm getting married. To Donny. You're asking me why? I don't know actually. I think the main reason is only that I won't allow myself to do anything else. Why should I? I'm marrying a great man, someone with money, and fame, someone who loves me…but someone I don't love. At least someone I don't love anymore. Oh yeah! I also told Niles Crane I loved him tonight. Told him and took it back, in a way. Told him I loved him but told him I couldn't leave Donny for him. Isn't it sad? Pathetic? All of the above? It certainly is.
He's never going to be mine again, that's for sure. Cause he was mine, once. One night. That night. At the time, however, it wasn't anything else but a sexual thing for me. But still, tonight I think back on it and my heart starts to race. Maybe it was only a one night stand, and maybe it was only a sexual thing, but I do remember how it was. I remember how great it was, how our bodies were moving together in perfect rythm, how perfect this whole night was. And now that I think back on it, something I haven't done for quite some time, I can't help but look at Donny (who is still snoring, by the way) and ask myself if he's what I really want. Cause when I think back on that night, I can't help but think about what my life could be with Niles. How my nights would be with him. You wanna know what happened that night? Then read carefully and promise you won't tell a soul, cause that night is our little secret, something we never talked about. Nobody knows. But you…why you? Because you're a stranger and you won't go tell Frasier…anyway, just read.
It all happened about 3 years ago, on a very hot summer night. That night…
Rest your weary head with mine But don't turn your head around You're caught by the magnet
I'll take you through the night
And bring you to the dawn in hope
No matter what you see
You cannot return
Drawn to the light
Like a prisoner you are captured
You are left without a choice
All I could think of was that one of us had to leave Frasier's apartment or at least one of us wouldn't get out of there alive. Sherry had a way to make me absolutely mad! Imagine the nerve of telling me that instead of yelling at her and be all stressed out I should go out and have sex with someone! That's caveman thinking! I left the apartment without knowing where I would go, but I knew I had to leave. Anyway, I knew some people in Seattle, at least one of them would be home…but no such luck. None of them were home, and there was no way in hell I was going back there tonight. There was no way I was giving her that satisfaction. The only person left was…Dr. Crane…What would he think of me if I just knocked on his door and asked him to spend the night? Well, I know what I would think if someone would knock on my door and ask to spend the night…if that someone was handsome there's no way I would not take advantage of the situation…would he do such a thing? Would I allow him to do such a thing? According to my little theory, I guess I would. He is quite cute in some ways…
What am I saying? Well, anyway, I have to go somewhere and he's the only one I can go to. And besides, why would I want to sleep with Dr. Crane anyway? He's not my type…
I just went up, rang the bell, and waited for him to answer. Why was sex so on my mind all of a sudden? I'll tell you why. Cause he opened the door wearing an half opened white shirt, and white pants that were defining every curse of his butt…bloody hell! Why did he have to be so handsome tonight? I think I could have resisted 'cute', but there's no way in hell I could resist 'handsome'…
Oh my God! Dr. Crane! How much wine did he drink to just faint by getting up and opening the door? It took me all the strength I had to get him on his fainting couch (I guess this thing really do is for fainting…), but the last thing I wanted to do was play the nurse tonight. Well, I could play the nurse, with the uniform and all that, but not the real nurse…what am I saying? Am I so obsessed with sex tonight that I can't think of anything else? The man is unconscious in front of me for God's sakes! He is handsone though…my God, I just realized I've never seen that much of him…maybe unbuttoning this shirt a little more would help him…
He chose this time to come back to his senses, fainting again after I told him what I was doing….wait a minute! This time it really wasn't the wine, nor the action of getting up that made him faint…could it be me? Has it been that long for him too? Unconsciously (how ironic, he's unconscious…), maybe it is the fact that a woman is near him that makes him faint…let's see. He opened the door, and I said I'd like to spend the night, and then I told him I was unbuttoning his shirt…dear God! Talk about coming on strong…I should be ashamed of myself! Or pleased…would it be terribly wrong if I were to take advantage of the situation? If I'm right, and I'm the one who makes him faint, then I guess I'm not…but anyway, knowing Dr. Crane, I'm pretty sure that if it's not what he wants he'll tell me…I just hope he won't…
Ok then, showtime.
I did all there was to do to seduce him : shirt waving in front of the fan, a comment about wanting to get out of my clothes (this one had some effect, for sure), a Marilyn Monroe impression when coming back in the room (this one wasn't planned, but the timing was excellent…), and a theory about the effect of the heat on the human body. Man, I was good. I could see it in his eyes, he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. This was getting dangerous; we were reaching the point of no return…
I don't even remember what I was talking about (I think I was still commenting on the weather or something like that), when I slightly moved my legs, not really realizing the consequences of it. Niles (I guess it's time to call him Niles now…) made some comment on the fact that I would get cold (strange comment, isn't it?…), and the next thing I knew my body was burning, feeling 2 of his fingers just above my knee, caressing me while putting the robe back on one of my knee. He put the robe back on my other knee as well, but this time all the fingers of his hand were touching me. If there was any doubt left that he wanted me they were gone by now. If I had any willpower left to stop this whole thing it left me too, for I was here with my skin in flame, my whole body aching for his, and my eyes lighted with a spark that was oh! so dangerous…
The next thing I knew he was back eating fruits, and I had all the trouble in the world concentrating on anything else but him, couldn't help but look at him, waiting for him to make THE move. But then he had some whipped cream on his mouth…and it looked delicious…was I game? You bet I was. I wiped it out with one of my fingers, looking at him the whole time, delighted by the effect I had on him. He held a fruit between his fingers, offered it to me, and I ate it. That was quite erotic actually. I reached the point where something had to happen, so I did it : I leaned forward, letting my hands run on his thighs, bringing my face so close I could feel his breath on my face. He smelled of strawberries, and champagne, and I knew that his mouth would taste so good…but I had to be polite. I asked him if it would be a terrible faux-pas if I would kiss him. I heard him whisper 'No ', I leaned forward a little more, and I kissed him. I kissed him so shyly, bringing my lips on his, closing my eyes. I could feel his mouth opening, his lips closing on mine, his body shaking. I have to admit that I was shaking too…this was really something. He brought me closer to him, his arms wrapped around me, and for a moment I didn't know who the hell I was, nor how I ended up like this; I just knew that the man in front of me, Dr. Niles Crane, was driving me totally crazy. When I just couldn't wait anymore, when my body was hurting all over from desire, I layed him on the couch and kissed him over and over again, telling him he was mine tonight. He didn't object. On that couch, and later in his room, I lived probably one of the best nights of passion of my entire life, making love to this man I never though of as anything more than my boss' brother. It was heavenly.
That night I heard someone in my dreams saying "I love you" with such sincerity that it couldn't have been anything but true.
When I woke up and realized where I was (well, actually, it took me a while to realize it…), what I had done, and who I had to face, I panicked. Unfortunately for me, there was no other way to escape than the front door, which meant that I had to face him. I had no idea how I would explain myself…what the hell have I done?
I walked down the stairs in his dressing gown, and found him sitting at the table, with a huge breakfast I assumed was made because I was there (there's no way someone could have eaten all this by himself), and I relaxed a little bit. He smiled at me and it made me smile too; it had been a while since I had seen him that relaxed…I sat down at the table, but I couldn't say anything. How was I supposed to begin this conversation? "I'm sorry I knocked on your door last night, seduced you, and slept with you…" I'd have to find something better than that. And besides, I wasn't sorry at all. I didn't know why, but I wasn't sorry. He finally broke the silence, telling me that what happened last night wasn't a bad thing, that one night stands are common things that happen a lot these days, and that we could keep it between us anyway. He really was a sweet man. I agreed that it should stay between us, and that it didn't have to change anything in our relationship. It was time for me to leave now.
I went back upstairs, got dressed, and he was there waiting back for me. The only intelligent thing I could think of saying at that point was thank you. What he did for me that night was the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and I just needed him to know that. I hope he understood all that was behind this simple "thank you". He followed me to the door, and just looked at me. I guess a handshake was quite a stupid gesture after what happened, so I kissed him, very innocently this time. I then left, walking to my car and singing all the way, feeling great. Maybe Sherry was right after all…
Damn Donny and his snoring, it really is getting on my nerves…and besides, Niles doesn't snore…oh no…bad road to go on…I need to get away from here, away from Donny, from Niles, from this kiss that keeps haunting me, just away. But where to go? Besides the corridor, there doesn't seem to be any other places to go…well, at least there I'll be alone. I won't have to think about the fact that I'm getting married tomorrow, won't have to think about Donny, won't have to think about…
Niles.
Well, I guess great spirits think alike…what is he doing there? I guess I'll have to think about him after all…
Somehow I can't take my eyes off of him…God he looks good in blue…Ok, now sit down. Yeah, right in front of him. That's right. Now find something to say. And stop playing with you hands!
"Quite a night, wasn't it?"
Well, congratulations Daphne Moon. You just jumped right into the fire. Why didn't you say "how are you?" Or just "Hi"…
It doesn't help either that he is not talking, just looking at me, and smiling.
"Yes, it has been…"
Niles, please help me…Niles, tell me you love me…Niles, tell me I haven't dreamed all that…Or do tell me I did dream all that, so I can find the courage to get married tomorrow morning…Niles, say something…
"Niles…"
No answer. Earth is calling Dr. Niles Crane…don't make it more difficult than it already is, please don't…
"Niles…"
"Yes?"
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Go ahead.
"…Do you really love me the way you said…I mean what you said…was any of this true?"
There. I said it. Say something Niles. Tell me Niles. Deny it Niles. Oh yeah, Daphne, don't forget to breathe.
"I love you Daphne. I have loved you for 7 years. That's the truth."
Ok. BREATHE! Calm down. He confirmed it. Deal with it now. Deal with the fact that he is the man you love. And stop looking at him that way, he's not an alien…
"Do you love me Daphne? Do you really love me?"
Damn, I thought it was my turn to say something. Do I have to answer this question? Don't make me hurt you Niles. No matter what I say I won't leave Donny. I won't. I won't. I won't.
"I do. I love you Niles."
A wise man once told me that if I say something 3 times it will actually become the truth. I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm marrying Donny. I'm marrying Donny. I'm marrying Donny. I love you Niles.
He sits down next to me, looking at me, and his body is so close to mine that it's driving me crazy. Don't do this to me Niles. Don't make me cry. Don't touch me, don't look at me like that, don't love me.
"What do we do now?"
Did I just say that? Man, even I was taken by surprise…
"Well, we could do two things. We could forget about it, forget about the fact that we love each other, that I don't love Mel and you don't love Donny, and still go on with our lives, or we could give ourselves a chance and see where the wind takes us."
Don't say that. Don't say we don't have any other options than these ones. Can't we just have an affair while we're both married? Oh God…what am I going to do? Don't make me cry…I don't want to cry…I love you…
"Niles, tell me what to do. I can't take the decision on my own."
Yeah Niles, do that. You're a psychiatrist, you know what to do in those cases, tell me. I can't do this. I just can't.
"Listen to me Daphne, I'll tell you what I'll do. Maybe it'll help you take a decision. I'll kiss you. I'll kiss you with all the love I have in me, all the passion and desire I keep retained since the first and only night we made love, that night I kept for myself and cherished for the last 3 years. If you can return my kiss with all the love you have for me, that this kiss leaves you breathless and sure that I'm the only man for you, then leave with me. If not, stay with Donny. He'll make you as happy as I can make you."
Oh my God. Don't kiss me Niles. Don't do this to me. I'll do it. This way, I could keep it chaste, go back to my room, and forget all of this ever happened.
"Would it be a terrible faux-pas if I just kissed you Niles?"
Don't cry. Don't cry. Breathe.
"Not at all."
Don't get involved. Don't look at him. Stop looking at him. Don't put your hands on his thighs. Don't stay so close to his face. Don't. Don'. Don. Do.
"Doesn't that remind you of something?"
I hope you do. I hope that night was as extraordinary for you as it was for me. By the look on your face, I'd say you do.
"Well, you're not the only one for whom that night was memorable. I remember every little detail of it."
Ok. A little closer. That's right. That wasn't so bad? Now, kiss him. Ok. Oh God. Oh my God. Just like he did the first time, I can feel his lips opening, taking mine in his. Niles. I love you. Don't ever let me go. Don't ever let him go. Hold on to him. Hold on.
Tears are running from my eyes now, I'm hanging on to him so hard I think I'll just crush him. I want him, my hands caressing him all over, my lips eating his, telling him how much I love him, and unable to stop crying. Forget Donny. Forget everything. Love me Niles, love me. Just as much as I love you right now. Don't ever let me get far away from you again.
I feel his arms wrapped around me, his head between my hands, kissing me with as much passion as I kiss him, and I know that everything is going to be alright. I know it.
Let's get out of here Niles. Take me far away. Take me where I'll never be able to be out of your arms. To be out of your life. Take me Niles.
I love you Niles. I will always love you Niles. And it's perfect that way.