Chapter Two: Thursday/Day Two
Elsa is sick of two things before lunchtime: the phone and the door.
She's not familiar with the stages of bereavement, but she makes a mental note that if she were to ever get any real friends (hah!) and if they ever have any loved ones die, she would leave them the hell alone in the first twenty four hours.
Before her is another couple—her father's friends if she's so inclined to remember. They greeted her with the same look the last person came through the door gave, and if her parents hadn't ingrained manners and courtesies so deftly as a child to her and her sister, her patience would've flown out of the window by hour one.
It sounds cold and callous, she knows. Some of these people really were close to her parents—she could see it from the genuine disparity displayed by some, but her patience…what's little of it, is dissipating. She and her sister has many things in their agenda that must be taken care of before Saturday; being kept in the house is counterproductive to this.
Surprisingly enough, or not surprising, now that she thinks about it, what keeps her tethered is the curve of Anna's arm around hers. The smaller girl maintains the same sympathetic, subdued smile to all visitors and it would seem the strain dripping from her composure is invisible to anyone, but the blonde.
"One o'clock at St. Peter's, yes?"
She nods and follows the elderly couple, Anna following her with slim fingers tightening over her forearm.
"Yes, one o'clock," she answers even though the point is moot.
They walk their guests to the door, Kai at the threshold keeping the entranceway open silently.
"We're sorry again for your loss," the female one of the two says just as they cross the barrier, her eyes lit in the same sympathetic half smile. "Alexander and Helene were wonderful people, and I see they have just as wonderful children."
Elsa's trained smile flits up her visage as she again bows in gratefulness, her sister following suit. They wait until the couple is situated in their car and halfway up the estate before Kai closes the door and Anna turns to her, forehead dropping heavily on her shoulder. The pitiful moan that comes out of her sister's throat only serves to make her laugh.
"When did the doorbell start ringing?"
The question leads her to how she woke up this morning: a bushy stack of fiery red hair tickling her face and intermittent snores filling her ears. She inwardly wished she could wake up daily like that, but it wasn't the tickling or the snoring that had woken her from her slumber.
When had the doorbell started ringing? Seven. Seven. In the morning.
"You know how it's illegal for telemarketers to call before and after nine?" Anna's muffled voice asks, eliciting another chuckle from the older sister. "That rule really should fall on everything." She pauses, and then continues, "And Kai, I know…I know they're being nice. But…how many guests have we—oh, for the love of god!"
"Hello, Andersen residence," a maid answers the phone shortly after the incessant ringing just began.
Elsa is suddenly glad she's asked one of the maids to forsake her daily duties and maintain at the phone's side. Just like the doorbell, it had been incessant at shrilling since…seven.
"We need to go," her sister pleads, and she's amused to see the imploring look laced desperately in bright green-blue eyes. "We need to get out of here before—
Ding-dong.
Both of them sigh simultaneously, Kai giving a small smile and shake of the head before opening the door.
"We haven't even started walking away yet," the redhead begins to grumble, but stops just as the door opens to reveal their new guest. "Kristoff!"
The tall, bulky man is unfamiliar to Elsa, but from the way Anna's posture suddenly goes as rigid as a post does not go unnoticed by her. Light blue eyes flit to her sister, then to the man, her eyebrows quirking at the unsure smile on their guest's visage. An awkward silence follows, ending with Anna's hand ripping away from her arm and a good foot of separation suddenly between them.
Just a little hurt, but moreover confused at the smaller girl's sudden change of demeanor, the blonde gives her undivided attention to the other blond in the room.
"Elsa Andersen," she greets, not intending for her voice to grow an octave lower and colder, but that's certainly how it comes out.
Their guest notices the shift and gives an uneasy smile, his hand coming forward and grasping hers in a tight, formal shake. "Kristoff Bjorgman."
She's surprised to feel a smooth, soft hand against her own. At first glance she had judged, by the height and bulk of the man, that he'd have calloused, rough hands from whatever profession he's employed. She files this thought aside and from her peripherals sees her sister rolling anxiously at the balls of her feet.
Kristoff turns to the redhead and gives her a look of worry that unsettles Elsa's stomach. "I heard…just now. I came as quickly as possible."
The smaller girl merely nods, her attention darting everywhere but at her and the tall man's direction. "We…uhh…We can talk…in my room…in private."
Elsa nods even though it's clear this has nothing to do with her and her gaze inadvertently falls behind the blond man, a familiar woman making her way up the estate. She turns to Anna who's now looking at her, eyes uncertain? Afraid? She wants to ask but knows its neither the time or place.
"I'll take care of the new visitor so you can speak with your…Kristoff."
The redhead's mouth opens quickly, incessant shakes of the head following before the blonde steps away, around the bulky man still standing at the threshold, and puts a cordial smile on her face to greet the newer guest. She hears them shuffle away after a brief moment, straining to listen to the pair of footfalls and attempts to swallow the ever familiar lump in her throat.
She swears by the end of this trip, she and this lump will be the best of friends.
"Hello Gerda," she greets, noting red rimmed eyes and a barely kept appearance.
"Hello Elsa," the older woman greets, coming up the stairs and giving her a small hug.
This counts as the sixteenth hug from a near stranger in as little as four hours. Well, she supposes Gerda's as close to a family friend as one could get. Elsa has known her for what seems like forever, gainfully employed by her father as an assistant of some sorts back when he was still a corporate lawyer. When he had decided the career change to move on as a Judge he had asked her to follow him. She had scoffed, and had given him a look that said 'As if you had to ask. You'd drown in paperwork without me'.
The blonde would've been wary of such a close relationship, if her parents had ever given an indication that their marriage was anything if not perfect (to the eyes of a child, anyway) and if Gerda wasn't literally ten to fifteen years her dad's senior.
Elsa leads her to the main living room, light blue eyes darting up the stairs and to the left where Anna and her guest would be before sitting down on the sofa and keeping an attentive eye on her father's secretary.
The woman's dark brown hair is clasped tightly in a bun, streaks of gray prominent and showing her age drastically. The women's suit looks frail around her thin body, wrinkled in some spots that directly contrasted to how the blonde remembers her. The eyes, though, remained the same: fierce and lively. She remembers that this woman and her mom were possibly the only two people in the world that could berate her father like a child and get away with it (most of the time).
"How are you?" the old woman asks first, giving her a watery, but determined look.
Elsa nods, tongue darting dry lips before replying, "Hanging in there. There's a lot to take in and Anna and I are keeping up as best as we can."
Gerda's face falls at her honest answer, the old woman shaking her head in a mixture of disbelief and anguish. "I am so sorry about your loss, child."
The blonde's gaze falls, towards the floor, the coffee table, then to her clasped hands on her lap.
"Your parents…I can't stress enough how wonderful they were," she continues, as Elsa feels the familiar prickle at the back of her eyes.
Without Anna next to her, listening to the condolences and reminisces seem a bigger burden that she can handle alone. But she keeps an open ear, wanting to think about her parents and what they had meant to this woman before her than willing her mind to fly to what might be happening in her little sister's room.
"I know you must be busy, so…I'll make this quick."
Elsa's eyes widen at her straightforward demeanor making the woman laugh.
"Dear, as you can probably tell, I've had to deal with a few funerals myself. It never gets easier and this one is no exception. Alexander and Helene were two of the most amazing people I've ever had the opportunity to meet, and to be in both of their high esteem is a reward in and of itself.
"I may not be your father's secretary anymore, but it doesn't stop me from still working for him. You may see to it as…one last thing I can do for him, but I would like to help you and Anna by taking care of—
Riiiii—
"Hello, Andersen Residence."
She blinks and gives an exasperated smile. "Of that."
Elsa's eyes widen.
"There are many people unaware of the news who needs to know. There are many who will be visiting the house—already visited from what I gather of the gentleman that came before me. A lot of questions need answering, and I know…I know you don't have the luxury of time for it. I understand that it's only you and your sister taking care of everything. Please…let me help you. It's the least I can do for your father and mother. They've treated me like…family…especially after mine have all, but gone. Let me do this one last thing for Alexander so that I may be able to rest knowing I've done everything I can for him."
Speech has once again left her, the overabundance of emotion and gratefulness seeking to force her heart to brim out of her bursting chest. She can only nod, her jaws clamping tightly and eyes blinking furiously in the hopes of dissipating the burning feeling in the back of her lids.
Gerda gets up from her seat and she follows in tandem, meeting the old woman in the middle of the room in a grateful, consoling hug. She finds that she doesn't mind the scratchy fabric of the secretary's work blazer or the musty scent of papers and ink following the woman's frail form; it reminds her of her father.
"Alexander adored you, you know."
The soft declaration freezes her insides, her grip on the taller woman tightening slightly.
Gerda steps out of their hug, but keeps the blonde in place with firm hands folding over her shoulders.
"I remember the joy in his eyes when he spoke of your overflowing acceptance letters. The pride was borne so deep it was infectious. He would speak so often of you and your sister that it felt as if I know both of you as a…grandmother would."
The blonde smiles timidly at the embarrassing blush that crept up the woman's cheeks at the small admission.
"But more than anything, I loved the over the top plans he made," the older woman continues, a hint of nostalgia in her smiling features. "For example, there was this case in Portland, Oregon. There were some disputes about state lines…crimes being made in New York and Oregon, up and down the country and…I'm sure he didn't need to know so much information about it, but…he made it a point to fly to the Portland Municipal Court so he could speak with a few esteemed judges there about the case. He didn't have to fake it, but he called me saying the meeting finished early and since that was the case (not that he planned it that way or anything) that he might as well make a detour…to LA."
Light blue eyes widen, her heartbeat rushing against her ears roughly as her mind takes her back to a voicemail she listened to once upon a time.
"Hey Elsa, it's dad. I'm…(embarrassed chuckle)…I'm in LA…right now. Well actually, I will be in an hour…I'm waiting for a flight. I'm here in Portland for…some court case and it finished early. Anyway…it's Friday and I would love to see you. Of course, you might be busy, you know, doing things college girls do…on Friday nights…but will you make room for your old man for…maybe an hour? Call me back! (Long silence, then a resigned grumble). I wish you'd keep your cellphone with you…"
"Elsa?"
She doesn't see the look of surprise aimed at her from the older woman from what she must be seeing upon the blonde's face. Silent tears merely fall from her eyes like bullets, her heart hammering a dull repetition in her ribcage as her attention falls on her calling sister. The smaller girl's eyes widen at her morose, empty disposition, and she diminishes the several feet between them in three giant steps, pulling the blonde into a tight, fierce hug that she's too numb to give back.
Her head makes a dull thud on strong shoulders, short hiccuping breaths drawing in Anna's familiar, comforting scent, and she shuts out everything: her father's morose secretary, the unfamiliar blond man scratching his head awkwardly at the foot of the steps, and even Kai who's kept his silent vigil at the living-room's threshold.
One addled thought remained—one that's been in the surface of her mind, but she has pushed back fervently. Now, it's come back with a fiery vengeance.
There is no God.
Her parents, while not ardent church goers, had believed in a higher power. Elsa believes in logic and the things she can see with her own eyes. This event, this circumstance, has only reinforced that belief. Because there's no God this spiteful and careless that would take away two people who didn't deserve it. There shouldn't be a God if he's so blind to smite innocent bystanders while people like her…obviously sinning in the face of the church and the lord and their decrees and psalms, can keep standing, keep living, while her parents are just simply…dead.
Maybe living is part of the punishment…her sister the sweetest punishment of them all. There, but not. Here in her arms, but…not.
Maybe there is a God. But he's spiteful, immature, unfair…and Elsa still doesn't want anything to do with him.
O—O
The ride to St. Peter's Cathedral is taken after a long and silent lunch. After her impromptu breakdown, Anna had taken her up to her room where they had stayed sitting on her bed for another thirty minutes in silent consolation. Neither one spoke, neither uttered a sound. They simply stayed there, Elsa sitting at the edge of the bed with her gaze stuck in its now familiar thousand-yard-stare and the redhead before her, kneeling down on the floor and looking up at her with creased brows and an expression that wants to say so much, but doesn't.
Knowing that they couldn't stay in her bedroom even if this is all either of them wanted to do, Elsa calls for Kai to prepare lunch after some time so that they can eat something (unsuccessfully) before heading out to finish unwanted errands. She didn't question where the blond man had gone by the time they had come back downstairs. She oddly didn't feel like anything. And she thinks that this should scare her…but she figures her body's just finally catching up with her mind, and if she were to feel absolutely nothing for the remainder of this trip, it would be a blessing.
Currently, they're traveling with Kai to St. Peter's Cathedralto meet up with the funeral coordinator—more planning, more talks. Two more days until her parents are laid to rest and for some inexplicable reason, she's looking forward to it more and more after each day that passes. She's already so tired…of the feelings, roller coaster emotions…responsibility.
When will it end?
The caress of a soft hand gathers her attention, her gaze falling on Anna who's looking at her with the same worried expression atop the same youthful face.
"I'll do the talking," she says lowly, her free hand coming up to brush a few stray platinum strands back over her ears. The smaller girl's hand lingers there, on ashen cheeks, before grazing the skin softly and putting it back down atop her hands. "You remember what I said last night, right?"
She nods. Of course she remembers.
She closes her eyes to steady herself, feeling vulnerable when she didn't want to be, especially in front of a person she always wants to seem strong to. With breaths even and her mind a fraction clearer, she locks again with expressive blue-greens and nods.
"Thank you, Anna."
The redhead lights up at her easy acquiesce and gifts her with a soft, endearing smile.
The funeral coordinator is waiting for them atop the twenty stone steps leading to the large cathedral. With hands firmly grasping at each of their respective sides, they follow the middle aged man as he explains in further detail the goings on that will take place in two days' time.
They follow him wordlessly into the building as he shows them a paper template of what to expect on Saturday, his explanations glossing over Elsa's mind as she tunes him out too easily, her attention darting from the dark, wooden pews, to tall, stone columns erecting all the way to the ceiling, to colored glass panes that gave illumination to the otherwise solemn structure.
"Will you both be speaking during the Eulogy? You aren't expected, but…"
"I'll speak," Anna volunteers, and looks at her with questioning eyes. "Elsa? You don't have to if you don't want to."
She shakes her head. "I will as well."
The redhead nods at her before turning back to the funeral coordinator who continues, "I'll be there to guide it along so that you'll know when you're up. Because of your parents' influence in the church and the community, Father Moore has also decided to conduct a full mass."
Oh, how nice of him.
Elsa finds she's still too bitter to care for God, the church and everything it symbolized, and is glad of the strong hand grasping hers tightly, keeping her grounded. The cathedral, although spacious feels stifling, the musky smell overpowering, and she can't wait to get out even though they've just entered.
True to her word, Anna speaks for the both of them, keeping up with the questions and posing comments whenever it's expected of her. Elsa means to keep up and tries to file the important information in her mind, but she finds it's too muddled, her stomach churning at what little food she was able to keep down from lunch and her irritation at everything building.
The longest hour of her life finally passes and she almost drags her sister back into the car, keeping irked eyes away from the stone cathedral and the smaller girl's searching look. Only when she and Anna are buckled in and back into the heavy midday traffic, does she let out a long, frustrated growl, hands clawing at her face, bangs, and hair.
If her sister is surprised at her built up frustration, she doesn't show it. Instead, the smaller girl takes off her own seatbelt and gives her a tight hug, one bereft of words, just a silent promise that she's there…she'll always be there.
"Why is life so unfair?"
She's not sure if she meant it to be a rhetorical question, but Anna sighs nonetheless and takes her strained fingers off of her face and tangles them into her hands. She gazes at soft turquoise orbs, love, apology, patience peeking out to the older girl that she feels overwhelmed from what she sees so openly displayed to her.
The redhead shrugs and begins brushing unkempt platinum blonde hair back into place, giving the task more concentration than it needs. "I don't know," she answers quietly, her attention towards unbraiding the hair.
Light blue eyes close at the smaller girl's sudden attention, her hands that had been gripping her knees becoming limp. They maintain the silence as the younger girl begins carding bunches of strands into experienced hands, twisting, knotting, pulling them in place expertly as she's done numerous times before. It didn't seems to matter if she was in front or behind—she's able to redo the braid expertly. And the taller girl realizes, this mundane, yet familiar action is all she needed. After a too short minute, Elsa opens her eyes again, calm finally strumming back through her nerves as she stares at the lone braid still grasped within her sister's grip. Her eyes widen, heart rushing excitedly as Anna took the braid and brought it upon her nose, giving it a quiet sniff before placing it back on her left shoulder. The younger girl smirks to herself, as if trying to maintain a secret before looking back at her surprised visage and finally erupting in a blush reminiscent to a tomato.
The picture makes Elsa laugh, eyes crinkling, hilarity bubbling off of her chest. The action is unfamiliar, but welcoming—she's not sure when it was last that she had such a good laugh.
Anna merely looks at her sheepishly, face still rushing to the point where it reaches the tips of her ears. The blonde brings up a hand to caress a hot cheek, loving the warmth emanating from the smooth skin and before she can think about it, she leans forward and drops a peck on the other side.
The tingling on her lips feel magical, and she only barely registers her sister's hands, bunched up on her blouse, grip her just a little tighter. She manages to draw back, away from the soft smell of baby lotion and cinnamon, and lock with blue-green eyes. She's still so close that she can see the light blue flecks within the irises, the same color and hue that encompasses the majority of her own eye color.
Before she can comment on it, a loud gurgle interrupts the space between them, and if it was at all possible, Anna turns even redder. A new bout of hilarity shakes Elsa's lithe form, only becoming louder when she hears her smaller sister huff in indignation.
"Sorry, I'm human and hungry…" she mumbles, sitting back into her spot with arms crossed over her chest and looking like an adorable petulant child, at least in the blonde's eyes.
She lets loose another chuckle before putting the younger girl's seat belt for her wordlessly and then pressing the intercom button at her side, gathering their driver's attention.
"Kai? Would it be possible to stop by at a restaurant? Anna and I are hungry and weren't able to have a decent lunch," she requests just as the divider begins coming down.
The old man gives them both a smile, his eyes crinkling familiarly at the rearview mirror. "My pleasure Miss Elsa," he says easily. "Is there any particular restaurant you have in mind?"
She looks at her wristwatch: 3:30 and surmises that most places wouldn't be very packed at this hour.
"Anywhere that's not closed or waiting for dinner service to begin."
He nods just as she gathers her sister's hand in her own, the familiar grip she finds there comforting, and looks back again to the same still pinkish cheek she had just kissed. She doesn't stop the delirious high she feels and merely holds the younger girl's hand tighter until green-blue eyes are staring at her again.
"Thank you, Anna," she says just soft enough for the two of them. She doesn't notice the divider ascending once more, just the beautiful, soft look gracing her sister's freckly countenance. "I'm not strong enough to handle all of this alone. I may have been giving the indication that I can, have, and will, but this burden is heavy, and it's tearing my sanity to pieces. I'm glad you saw that before I did—that you've shown me how much I need you. Please bare with me—be patient with me. I'm not the best company and at times I don't even want to be with me—
"You're perfect, how can you not?"
She chuckles at the indignant declaration and brushes copper locks back. "You know what I mean…"
Anna nods, giving her a serious look.
"We're in this together," Elsa continues, darting between green-blue eyes morosely and loving how their grip upon the other's hand tightens just a bit more. "I'm here for you for whatever you need. Ask, and I'll turn the world upside down. I know you'll do the same for me."
The smaller girl can only nod in silent reverence.
O—O
They're seated rather quickly upon entering a small Italian restaurant, the first thing Elsa getting, to the surprise of her smaller sister, a cup of red wine.
"Sorry," she apologizes, even though she's not quite sure why.
Anna shakes her head just as quickly, eyeing the glass of water their waiter is currently filling up for her. "It's not like it's illegal for you."
The blonde doesn't have to do the math in her head, but she scrunches her face in thought regardless. "You're not twenty-one yet."
Anna shakes her head. "A couple more months."
She nods. July 23rd. As if she can forget…but it's not as if she's greeted the smaller girl otherwise in the past five years to acknowledge it. The headache that's been like an acquaintance since this morning is back and she gulps a little too much of the wine for her liking.
"Would you like to drink with me when we get home? Maybe break one of dad's prized bottles…"
The rebellious thought leaves her somewhat elated.
Her smaller sister merely laughs, green-blue eyes alight in mirth. "Not tonight…Maybe…Saturday?"
The specific request strikes her as just a little odd. "You don't drink?"
Anna shakes her head in silent reply, her lips up in a funny quirk as if she knows something that Elsa doesn't.
"I don't believe you."
"Well," the redhead puffs, looking miffed, but her playful smile never leaves. "Someone definitely drank underage."
The blonde nods. "Every college student does." She trails off, keeping an eye on her sister's countenance. "You mean to tell me you haven't drank alcohol. Like, at all?"
Anna laughs, shaking her head in reply. "Don't be ridiculous! You just said every college student does…I'm definitely the epitome of a college student."
"Then there's no reason to wait until Saturday. We can drink when we get home."
Elsa thinks her reasoning is spotless until she sees the uneasy face sported by her sister.
"I…can't," she simply says, eyes begging for her to let this go. "Saturday…I promise. Not today."
Their conversation of Sci-Arc just the night before and how Elsa had begged then to be let off enters her mind, so she merely nods, and takes another sip of the dry, red wine. Another thought, just as dangerous, enters her head. It never really left, if she thought about it…just frayed within the edges until curiosity finally won over.
"Tell me about your boyfriend then."
She shouldn't have said it while Anna was in the middle of drinking her water because the spray and the violent coughs after, while comical to an outsider's point of view, almost gave her a heart attack. She gets up so quickly from her seat that the chair makes a loud scraping sound, eliciting the attention of other patrons. She stays where she's at though, conflicted between standing still and wanting to hasten at her sister's still coughing side, but the latter stops her with a dismissive wave of the hand.
"Jesus, Elsa," the redhead mutters, still in the middle of a coughing fit while the blonde slowly makes her way back on her seat, her attention fixed on her sister.
"Sorry," she says quietly, dismissing their concerned waiter with a shake of the head before he can come any closer to their table. "I just assumed—
"He's not my boyfriend," Anna states resolutely, her voice still squeaky, but moreover back to its normal octave. She clears her throat to help her along, eyeing the water thoughtfully, possibly deciding if it's a good idea to take another sip while they were still in this topic. She decides to just grip the glass with a shaky hand, feeling the cold condensation creep through her warm palm. "Not sure why this was easier to say to mom and dad but…"
Elsa, rather confused at the random mention of their parents, doesn't ask and takes a careful sip of her wine instead, her attention still rapt on her sister's suddenly serious demeanor.
"…I'm gay."
Her chest convulses in surprise, the warm trickle of wine coming back up painfully.
The definition of karma seizes her.
Now it's Anna who's standing up from her spot at the table, blue-green eyes wide in concern as the blonde attempts to cough the tickling burn out of her throat. Their waiter is at their table in record time.
"I'm sorry ladies," he attempts to placate even though it's nothing the restaurant could've done anything about. "Is there…is there something I can get you—
"We're ready to order," Anna says quite loudly, sits back down, flips her menu, darts her eyes on the page, and picks seemingly at random, "Seafood linguine, please."
The waiter has just enough time to pull out a notepad from his apron before Elsa, also flipping her menu on a random page picks out what her eyes first land on. "Eggplant parmigiana. Thank you."
He nods, looks at the two of them again as they're both busy putting their napkins over their respective laps and leaves with the promise of bringing their dishes as quickly as possible. As soon as he's out of earshot, the blonde looks up at her sister again, the splotchy redness of her cheeks illuminating mortification that she's not quite sure why it's there.
This is certainly big news though…Never in all her years would she have guessed the smaller girl would be attracted to women. There really wasn't ever an indication. As far as she knows it should be the exact opposite; Anna had loved fairy tale stories growing up and those definitely never had two girls falling in love.
She takes another sip of wine, even more careful than the last and sets it aside. She figures she shouldn't have anything in her mouth while they're still having this talk.
"Since when?" Something tells the older girl her sister won't start it up anymore and curiosity has prevailed once again, so she begins with the first question her mind can supply.
Anna's attention is still rapt on the napkin on her lap, but she mumbles coherently enough, "Fifteen. Tried boys in middle school, didn't like it so…I tried batting for the other team."
Elsa chuckles at the uncouth explanation, making the smaller girl's blue-green eyes dart up to hers once again. She sees the unease there, and would like nothing more than to appease the redhead's discomfort, so she says the only thing that would've had any real worth to their current conversation.
"Funny…I found out when I was fifteen too."
Anna's eyes are wide as saucers, her mouth following suit, and the picture makes Elsa laugh silently at her spot.
"Are you…are you kidding?"
The blonde's eyebrows quirk in question as she replies, "Why would I be kidding?"
The smaller girl shrugs, the action so expressive her whole body follows suit. "I don't know, you just…well, now that I think about it, I guess I can't really picture you with a guy…"
Elsa nods in silent agreement, tearing the bread they've both unwillingly ignored and dipping it into an herbed olive oil dip before putting it in her mouth. She feels that maybe they've gone far enough in the conversation that the possibility of a choking hazard is at least over.
"So…do you have a girlfriend? Partner…?"
She shakes her head before looking up at her smaller sister, swallowing the food in her mouth before replying, "Too busy for something substantial. Hook-ups…that's about it. School is really the only long term relationship I can handle right now." She doesn't want to know the answer if it's in the positive, but she might as well get it out of the way. "And you? Any girls you'd like to bring home for me to meet?"
The thought leaves a burning feeling in her chest, but before it can erupt, Anna just shakes her head, her gaze falling to the side where she stares at a banister too concentratedly to actually be seeing it.
"Had a few," the redhead says in a small voice and then shakes her head. "Something was always missing."
Elsa knows that feeling too well, but didn't want to dwell on it. It's not as if she can say to her sister that all her hook-ups had been fiery redheads that had always closely resembled the smaller girl in one way or another. That information is best left disregarded and never, ever brought up.
Anna gives her a wicked smile and states, "Maybe one of these nights we can be each other's wingman."
Or I can take you home and just have my way with you.
The thought leaves her chuckling, but to mollify her sister she merely nods, even though there's no way in hell she'd ever help some stranger get in the smaller girl's pants.
"So how did mom and dad take it when you came out?" the redhead continues, joining her in picking at the bread in the middle of the table.
"I only came out to dad. He told mom and she spoke to me soon after."
"Was dad…alright?"
"Given everything I was unloading his reaction was…better than I expected. I guess it also helped that I planned to come out the night before I was leaving for college."
Anna snorts loudly. "Smart…"
She smirks at the near comment. "Thank you. And you?"
"I thought they were out of the house…but they weren't."
Light blue eyes widen in shock, but the redhead waves her hand in a casual dismissal.
"We still had plenty of clothes on…just a lot of heavy petting. I was jerking too much, kicked a lamp, it broke, dad wanted to see what was going on, and got an eyeful. More than anything, he got mad at the lamp and not at what he saw. Although I guess in retrospect, maybe you softened the blow for me by coming out first. I was really surprised when the overreaction was on taking care of items and the value of things you haven't paid for yourself instead of the girl huddled in my bed…"
Elsa laughs, the mental picture conjured in her mind something she desperately wished she could've seen in real life. She would never have let the younger girl live it down…although maybe jealousy would've reared its ugly head so hard that it's best she didn't see it. No matter, it would've been comical. Just another important event she's missed within the last five years.
Their food arrives shortly and after assuring the waiter they have everything they want as of now, they begin eating. It's silent, but comfortable and it allows the blonde to think about the newest thing she's found out about her sister.
The thought halfway there or one step closer doesn't even register. It doesn't matter if she was an alien and the smaller girl has a preference for aliens. Sisters. That's where it will always come down to…and that's where the majority of her decisions will always be made. She's so stuck in her mind that she almost misses the question aimed at her.
"What'll you do…after?"
Anna doesn't have to elaborate more in order for her to get the question. She finds that she can't look up from her food though and merely picks at it as she replies too quietly, "I have to finish my undergraduate program. Then, a couple of years of internship."
"Internship…" Her sister picks at the word, as if expecting it. "You can do that…pretty much anywhere, right?"
She nods, not liking where this conversation has suddenly turned. "I have a couple lined up. One in LA, the other in San Francisco."
"Have you looked at any opportunities here? Something tells me New York is a good place for that too…"
The blonde finally looks up, sees the pleading look upon her sister's face and feels her resolve begin to crumble. She wants to explain the importance of doing her internship in the other side of the country, but stops herself at the sudden look of determination she sees upon her sister's demeanor.
The smaller girl places her fork down and wipes the nonexistent stain on the corners of her mouth with her napkin before looking up at her again, green-blue eyes steady and serious.
"You said it…right? Earlier? We're in this together?"
She remains quiet, pleading inwardly to not be put in this situation. Not here, certainly not now. A naive part of her wants it to be never.
"Now, I'm not…I'm not trying to make you eat your words or take them back," Anna continues relentlessly on. "I'd…I'd be devastated if you did. But…there's no going around the elephant in the room. I mean…we can certainly try, but I'll always be wondering and you'll always know and won't supply the answer."
This is bad…
Her grip falls from her fork to her napkin, bunching the tan colored cloth into white knuckled hands. It's becoming harder to breathe, but she takes it silently as a punishment that doesn't even make up for the last five years.
"But I'll do us a favor." The younger girl's voice is unsteady but still clear, pausing for a long moment, as if in an internal debate, before stating softly, "I won't ask."
Light blue eyes look up in surprise at the words uttered. She sees the unmistakeable hurt at being kept in the dark, but she's too relieved to want the smaller girl to take it back.
"Even though…it's practically killing me. I won't ask. I won't ask why you didn't call…or visit…or even…Christ, Elsa, a text—an e-mail would've been sufficient. I won't ask you to explain why you couldn't just…" The redhead trails off her growing frustration, swallowing roughly and eyes darting everywhere but at the older girl. She breathes deeply, maybe to center herself and continues roughly, "I won't ask. Just…I want you to know that the first time around…when you left…and a week passed by. Then a month…then a few months…" She stops again, gathers another deep breath and continues lowly with her gaze still averted, "I was bouncing with joy at the prospect that maybe you were busy and my birthday would be a good enough reason to call…And then that passed too…and…"
Anna looks around, blinking furiously, willing for subdued tears to dissipate, and all Elsa can do is stay rooted at her spot, hands still clutching at her napkin while her stomach plummeted and burned at her sister's confession. The younger girl's words fill her head with scenarios, each one as painful as the last and leaves a hollow, depthless cavity where her heart should be.
And she finds she can't say a thing. There's no reply readily available in the world.
Sorry…couldn't possibly be enough.
"God, this was a really bad time and place to do this…" The redhead laughs, but it's empty and dry and serves to make the blonde hate herself even more, and especially so when she sees turquoise eyes shining with unshed tears. "Elsa…that first time around…was bad. I…can't explain how bad it was for me. If…if you leave again…to the other side of the country—hell, anywhere in the world! And the past five years repeat itself…"
The smaller girl trails off. She doesn't have to continue. Elsa understands perfectly. She just nods silently, eyes unable to lock with her little sister's and falls on her partially eaten food. With this heartfelt confession openly handed to her, what other choice does she have now? In retrospect it was foolish of her to think she can wile away these next couple of weeks and think she can go back to her normal (although a very loose term) life without consequence. She obviously didn't think it through.
Their parents are gone. She's now solely responsible for her sister. And while the latter is a grown adult in the eyes of society, in the blonde's perspective, she will always be her little sister, therefore her own responsibility and ward.
She can't run away anymore.
"I'll think of a way."
She says it so quietly she doesn't think the smaller girl hears her, but when she gets the courage to look up, she sees the smile in Anna's freckled visage, hope and reverence dancing in her eyes. And she can't return it. She can only feel growing consternation riddled with anxiety and confusion.
There's no way in hell she can keep her emotions at bay in any scenario with her and her sister living anywhere near together in a prolonged period—same household or not. She gulps, feeling the lump come back.
Hello darkness, my old friend…
O—O
"I was wondering if you'd like to have a wake."
They come home from the restaurant with her dining area seemingly transformed into a small call center, the three maids employed under their household sitting on the straight back chairs with wireless headsets over their ears. One seems to be taking the incoming calls with the other two doing outgoing, from what little Elsa has observed when she and her sister walked in not even five minutes back.
Gerda merely looks at her expectantly, needing an answer so she can take the necessary actions.
The blonde nods, her eyes grazing over her transformed dining area. Papers littered everywhere, computer desktops and laptops humming to life where they weren't before.
The old woman sees where her attention has been taken and clears her throat. "I'll be sure to clean up. I know it looks messy…"
She trails off as Elsa shakes her head in disagreement. "It looks like progress and I can't thank you enough."
The girl that broke down merely a few hours back is gone and Alexander and Helene's collected first born daughter is back.
"A wake?" She nods, getting her train of thought back. "Yes, it would seem appropriate. I'll call the funeral home to have them send my parents here tomorrow. We'll begin at three. Anna and I will take care of calling last minute catering services and I trust you can contact the people who will want to attend?"
Gerda smiles evenly and nods once in understanding.
The rest of the afternoon going into the evening is spent in the second living room with Anna laying on one couch typing away on a laptop while she's on her cellphone, calling recommended catering services her sister pipes out in regular intervals. She finds that the avenues open a whole lot wider when she's frank about what the service is about and starts dropping her parents' names.
The doorbell still rings every now and again, but she doesn't greet the guests at the insistence of her late father's hard at work secretary. Gerda makes it a point to get the door with the help of Kai and it's this small thing that makes the tasks given to them just a little bit easier.
"You're Senator Andersen's daughter?" an excited voice streams through her ears as she looks over Anna's shoulder at another viable option if this, like all the others in the last few hours, doesn't pan through. Unfortunately, a day's notice is much too short for catering possibly more than a hundred people.
"Yes," she answers, swiping at the screen to reveal more of the page as Anna gives her a side profile.
"We hosted her celebratory win when she won the Senatorial seat for New York!" the man on the other line exclaimed. "When will be the service and how many people are you needing?"
She's finally getting somewhere. "I'd like at least ten waiters. My kitchen is open for any cooking at any hour tomorrow—even tonight if more time is needed. The wake begins at three. I expect an upwards of…a few hundred people attending in the timespan of several hours."
"And your estimated budget?"
She pauses. She hadn't thought about that certain aspect of the event. "What will be your estimation for six to seven hours?"
"For everything? In between eight to ten thousand."
The sigh she expels is just a little loud and it causes her sister to graze a soft knuckle on her exposed cheek. She smiles at her and scowls at the phone. It's a good thing she hasn't needed the monthly allowances her parents have provided since she's began schooling…otherwise she didn't really know what to do. Going into her parents' bank accounts seem…uncouth, especially given the circumstance.
"Yes, that's sufficient. Will wine be included with the service?"
"Yes, Ms. Andersen. We'll begin planning as soon as possible and we'll be there as early as 6 AM tomorrow. Any preference of foods—
"None. Make the majority in the form of finger foods or appetizers. Most people will be staying for no longer than thirty minutes."
"Understood. Will there be anymore I can do for you before seeing you tomorrow morning?"
She shakes her head even though the man in the other line can't see it. "No. Thank you for taking this all in, in such short notice."
"It's my pleasure Ms. Andersen. Have a good evening."
She shuts off her phone and thuds her head on her sister's shoulder tiredly, reminiscent of how the smaller one did it just that morning. Just as she had done, Anna also chuckles and after placing the laptop on the coffee table grabs her arm and leads her onto the sofa, situating her so that she's leaning on the smaller girl, back to front.
Slim arms envelope her and she sighs in a mixture of tiredness and contentment, loving the feel of the smaller girl's soft, pliable body curving and meeting her own and lean further in if it was possible. She wonders briefly if it's possible for them to stay this way until Saturday and laugh inwardly at the scene her mind's giving her: tomorrow, prime time, she and Anna surrounded by hundreds of milling people not giving a damn what they say as they just lounge in this sofa…just as they are now.
"What's the cost?"
The question takes her out of reverie and causes the same outward sigh as before.
"Eight to ten."
The younger girl gives a low whistle. "There's still time to go to mom and dad's bank…"
She shakes her head, wanting to spare all of that legal mumbo jumbo for next week. "I…have it."
"Monthly stipend?"
Elsa nods, giving a her look from the side. "The condo was practically paid for and they gave more than enough for utilities and bills. Add a boring lifestyle of all work and barely no play and you get a bank account that's…kinda overflowing."
Anna nods. "Same…I lived with them and still got a monthly stipend…So…if you need any…please…take it out of my hands."
The blonde gives an outward smirk at her sister's words. "I don't know…I half-expected you to party the majority of it away."
The redhead snorts, eyes rolling outward. "There was a time there…right when I hit eighteen and just graduated. I think that was my rebellious phase."
Elsa remains quiet and attentive, letting her sister's words wash over her.
"Partied a lot…drank a lot. Had a fake ID." Anna laughs, her eyes looking far away. "I was out of control…All it took to wake me up were some words I overheard. 'She's the senator's daughter' or 'Judge Andersen's youngest'."
The blonde swallows roughly as turquoise eyes meet hers morosely.
"It was even more effective than being dunked in ice cold water," the smaller girl continues, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. "It comes back. I don't know why I didn't learn that earlier. It always comes back to mom and dad. In the end, I just…kinda stopped myself. They never said anything about it even though I knew that they knew…" She stops momentarily, her thoughts on the late judge and senator. "They really were great people…I'm surprised they could juggle being great parents in the mix."
Elsa couldn't help but agree.
"Who was your favorite?"
The blonde gives her sister a harassed look at the unexpected question. "Anna, we can't have favorites."
"Pfft, yeah we can. Every kid has a favorite. One just…stands out better. Doesn't mean we don't love the other just as much. I bet if we had another brother or sister—a youngest—he or she'd be your favorite."
The taller girl chuckles, rolling her eyes at the obvious goad. "Well aren't you lucky you're the only sibling I have then?"
"Jerk. Answer the question." When she didn't answer fast enough, Anna continues, "Dad definitely liked you more."
"Anna…parents don't have favorites either."
"Hey! I wasn't going to cut myself short you know. Dad may have liked you more, but mom? Mom adored me."
Elsa couldn't help, but agree. Pushing herself deeper in the pillow that is her sister in the quest for comfort, she tucks her head on a soft stomach and place both hands along jean clad thighs. Stopping her brain from going into unwanted territories, she states, "It was always easier to ask dad for things…that's for sure."
The redhead laughs, sending the vibrations outwardly to the taller girl's prone form. "Speaking of…did you plan to only come out to him?"
"Yes." The answer is fast and steady. "With the things I had to say that night, having both of them in the room would've killed me. I purposely spoke to him knowing that mom would be on the phone in another room with her secretary on a daily rehash."
"It was right after dinner then."
Elsa nods, her mind taking her to that night that remains as fresh in her memory as if it just happened yesterday. "It's not to say I didn't want her to know…I knew dad would bring it up that same night to her. I asked him to. But at least neither of them would have a chance of…thinking things over. I…pretty much manipulated them to get exactly what I wanted…"
Green-blue eyes hover over hers, the mirth gone and a steady serious gaze locked on her own.
She's said too much without knowing it, she knows this much…and she finds that she can't match her sister's stare so she untangles herself from their all too sudden uncomfortable position and stands up stock still at the side of the sofa.
The question remains in Anna's face: manipulate? How? More importantly…Why? Coming out couldn't have been that bad…not when Anna's own revelation was treated as, first, an exasperated helpless shrug, then general acceptance.
But Elsa evades the unspoken question, just like they both knew she would. Conflicted light blue eyes gaze up at the stairs and she breathes deeply before looking back at the redhead whose gaze is still on her rigid form.
"I need to make some phone calls…to the school," the blonde states, her voice rough and uncertain. "Please have Kai call me down when dinner's ready. Otherwise…"
She doesn't have to finish. Anna understands too well. The smaller girl nods, getting up from the sofa and makes her way up the stairs first, demeanor hunched and countenance confused. She doesn't say another word. She doesn't even look back. Elsa thinks that maybe she's forcing herself to get used to it—to strained silences, unanswered questions…to a closed off sister that leads to constant disappointment.
AN: Nothing much to note. One-sided convos? Yeah, I'll do them in this fandom too. I do what I want!
Tripower: Hey hey! There's some kind of…camaraderie or something…finding someone you know somewhere you're not expecting them in…:D It's good to "see" you again…and I hope to make that heart bleed…Not sure if that sounds like a good thing or not. I'm a bit afraid of drawing out the angst here, all things considering.
Supremacy of Chaos: :) Glad you like it so far. Here's to hoping I keep you attention with a fic in which nothing much happens…hmm…
justareader21: Thanks for reading. I can only hope to make them in character enough that it's believable in the end.
Volchise: :D Another familiar "face". Haha I was kinda worried about posting this though I'm not sure why…Here's to hoping it'll be good.
caders: :( I'm sorry checking my profile page hasn't been very fruitful the past year or so…I think I've pretty much scrapped the idea for a sequel to HP, although the plot bunny is still in my head. I don't know, I guess there's no motivation there or something. As for Homecoming, that's definitely a complete fic. I hope you enjoy this one as much as the others.