Chapter 1

Night had set over the Genovian Palace after a long day filled with emotions and surprises had ended. The country though shaken by the events of the day seemed to find the peace it needed to gain strength for the upcoming coronation and the changes it would bring.

Peace also filled the Queen's private chambers where the still-Queen-of-Genovia and her new husband were slowly dancing to some soft classic background music. Only a few candles were illuminating the room and a small but pleasant fire crackled in the fireplace. Clarisse's head rested at Joseph's shoulder, her eyes were closed and he couldn't help but smiling all the time. 12 hours before he had thought his life had ended. He had prepared to leave her life and Genovia forever and now he was holding her, dancing with her, loving her as her husband. They had danced together so often over the years. In happiness and pain, in laughter and in tears.
Their bodies had connected that way a long time ago but their souls had needed to overcome so many obstacles that a few days ago he had given up hope. He had simply stopped hoping she would ever allow herself to be with him. He had always known she loved him but gaining her utter devotion and her trust had been a different matter. Somehow she had never seemed to feel safe and loved enough to entrust herself completely to him. And then today she had simply overwhelmed him with her spontaneous proposal inside the church with all the chaotic circumstances that had shaken up everything. He had felt then that she was ready for him. Under all these layers of royalty and duty was the woman he loved above all. He would sacrifice everything for her. Even his life and now after exchanging their spontaneous wedding vows in front of the whole country he finally knew she would do the same for him.

"Penny for your thoughts," he whispered into her hair and pulled back a bit to see her face. She smiled up to him and shook her head slightly. "It's just perfect. I have to say I'm afraid to move or talk because I fear I could ruin this moment. Or wake up from this dream."

"That won't happen", he answered gently and kissed her forehead. "It's no dream. It's all true and real. Do you have any idea how happy you've made me today?"

Her glance fell onto the messed up bed behind them and she gave him a meaningful smile. "You've already said something like that." He returned her smile and she leaned into him for a kiss.

"I wasn't referring to that! Although after all those lonely and sleepless nights…," he said sheepishly and she gave him a look.

"Excuse me?"

"I think we have had a lot to catch up on."

"You brought those lonely nights onto yourself, my dear!"

"Do we really have to go there again?" he asked pretending to be wounded and kissed her hand.

"No, we don't have to. You know what the best is? That we have the rest of our lives to catch up on all the lost nights and years." She played with the collar of his robe and added pensively: "Without hiding any longer."

"That's maybe the best part of our new agreement. I was so tired of sneaking around. Of leaving these rooms in the early morning hours… of pretending not to love you… of aching for you every hour I couldn't be with you."

"I know. I felt the same… but I guess I just wanted to do it right somehow… I still can't promise not to fall back into my old habits…", her voice trailed off and she wrapped her arms around his neck as if by pressing her body against his he could give her the strength to stick to her promises. He held her closely to him and ran his hands reassuringly over her back.

"It's all right now", he whispered tenderly. "We're here, we're together. Nothing will separate us again!" She pulled back a bit and cracked a loving smile. "Trust me," he said lowly as he looked into her sparkling blue eyes. Then he bent forward and their mouths melted into a long passionate kiss that immediately started to overwhelm them again with quickly growing desire. The music in the background faded slowly and the room slipped into a comfortable silence only interrupted by the sound of slow lazy kisses and increased breathing.

"I love you…," Joseph whispered against her chin and moved slowly down to her throat kissing and licking each inch he passed until he reached her collarbone. A low sigh escaped her throat and she cupped his cheek with her hand and guided him gently back to her demanding mouth. Slowly he pulled her robe from her shoulder and played with the strap of her silky nightgown. Their kisses grew hungrier and more forceful and soon his hands started to pull and push clothes aside.

The candles around them started flickering all of the sudden as a cold breeze blew across the room. Some of them died out and Joe freed himself reluctantly from Clarisse.

He looked to the side and when he saw the reason for the sudden change of atmosphere his eyes widened in surprise.

"Forgive my intrusion, but I have something important to discuss with you, Mother."

Clarisse who had been fixing her robe jerked around: "Pierre!" Her face became red and she cleared her throat while she instinctively slipped closer to Joseph. "You've scared me!"

"I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention."

"Why didn't you knock instead of sneaking in through the window?" Joe asked still bewildered about Pierre's strange entrance.

"It's important that no one knows I'm here," the younger man explained without taking his eyes from his mother who was still embarrassed about being caught in such an intimate situation by her own son. She could read in Pierre's face that he had already watched Joseph and her for a while before he had come into her suite, and that disturbed her deeply.

She had often wished that her relationship with her oldest son were a bit warmer and closer but since he spent only Christmas in Genovia and attended big family celebrations such as Mia's wedding and coronation it was hard for her to connect with him.

"So why are you here?" She asked as gently as possible although fearing he would demand an explanation about her short notice wedding with Joseph. After all she had never told him about her love to her Head of Security. Her son was a priest far away from her daily life and since her younger son had died she had often thought that Pierre was avoiding her for reasons she just couldn't explain. Maybe because it was just that. A certain feeling.

"Can we talk privately? Just for a few minutes?"

Clarisse looked at Joseph who nodded understandingly.

"Of course." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and after giving a small smile to Pierre he retired into the bedroom closing the door carefully behind him.

Felling rather awkward Clarisse ran her fingers through her hair on the back of her head. She was nervous and different from her image in public; she wasn't good in hiding her emotions when it came to her most private emotions.

"Well, why don't we sit down?" She offered him a place on the couch but Pierre shook his head.

"It won't take long."

"For god's sake we've hardly talked since your arrival. So now that you're here we can talk!"

She sank on the couch and observed him while he paced the room with a bowed head.

"I wish you had talked to me before you went through with the wedding," he finally said without facing her.

"I can imagine it was a surprise for you, but everything happened so quickly…"

She couldn't explain much more, because Pierre interrupted her with growing anger: "Why did you never tell me anything about you and him? Don't you think I deserve more than "It happened so quickly"?"

He really seemed outraged. He had stopped running around and was staring at her, demand and rage flickering in his eyes. Clarisse sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn't expect it to be easy… not with Pierre. Her oldest son had a very strong mind and his very own opinion.

"There are things in life, a mother doesn't discuss with her son," she said tiredly and shrugged, "especially not when he's hardly around." She rose from the couch and went slowly to the fireplace. Just looking into the flames helped her relaxing.

"And especially not when he's a priest?"

"Why are you saying this?"

"Being unfaithful is a sin. Even for a Queen. And that's what happened between you and him, right?" The words hung in the air and built up another wall between mother and son. Clarisse turned her head slightly into her son's direction. She felt as if a stranger was talking to her and not her own flesh and blood.

"I've never been unfaithful to anyone, Pierre. Not to my country and not to your father. This ridiculous discussion ends here and now." Her voice was cold filled with dignity and pride.

"I've seen you with him, Mother. All those years I watched you. The way he admired and desired you, but I never said a thing because I was convinced you wouldn't betray my father, your husband."

"And I never did!"

"And yet… one night I saw you and him together. Father was already ill…" He stopped and Clarisse could see the torture written all over her son's face. For some moments neither of them said a thing but then Pierre had regained his composure and added: "Why did you have to legalize that affair? Couldn't you just live with him like you did over the last years? Why do you have to disgrace our family and country by marrying him? You haven't strengthened our claim to the throne, you've weakened us! You have no actual idea what that will do to our country!"

"What are you talking about? I told you I never cheated on your father. I don't have to legalize anything, because loving Joseph is not a crime or a sin or whatever you might call it! Maybe I should have told you about my relationship with him, but since you prefer to hide from me I couldn't know you were interested in my life or what is going on in our family or in this country!"

Her outburst had happened suddenly and without a warning. She had listened to his accusations trying to be as calm as possible, but hearing her son belittling her life and Joseph was too much.

"I never had the impression you needed me here. After I told you I wouldn't become King, you and father had lost all interest in me and my life, anyway. Philippe was the center of your attention and I could finally live my life far away from all this! Not even when he died you asked for me… do you have any idea how much that hurt me?" The last words came out calmly. Suddenly silent and bitter Pierre turned away and stared at the next best painting on the wall.

She felt incredibly sad all of a sudden. Worn out and defeated. She had never had an argument like this with Pierre before. He had never told her so openly how he felt about her, not even when he abdicated the throne he had been like this. Philippe had been different. He was easy to talk to. Such a joyful person. He had been much more open-minded than Pierre but Clarisse had always believed that Pierre had been more serious than his younger brother, because he had known about the responsibility of being the crown prince. God knew that Rupert had never gotten tired of explaining to Pierre how important it was to show strength and posture as the future king. It had been drilled into him his whole life and he drilled it first into Pierre and later into Philippe.

She walked slowly to Pierre and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Darling, please. I never wanted to hurt you! Your father and I just tried to accept your decision. We thought that letting you do what you wished to, would make it easier on you. We never wanted to abandon you. Never!" She squeezed his shoulders a bit tighter and added tenderly: "You're my only child left. There's no way I wouldn't want to have you around. I've missed you terribly, but I always feared you would reject me if I asked you to visit me more often."

"Then you don't know me very well, Mother." Pierre turned and gave his mother a sad look.

"Please, Pierre, you have to believe me."

"I try, Mother, I really try, but I know what I saw over the years."

Clarisse took a deep breath. It wouldn't be easy dealing with Pierre after this conversation. The invisible rift between them wasn't as invisible as she had thought. Actually, it was quite obvious now. It would need a lot of time and love to get through to him again, but so far there was only thing she really had to set straight between them. Joseph.

"I want you to leave Joseph alone. If you're angry with me, fine, but don't lash out on him, because he has nothing to do with this."

"I wish you were right."

"I'm serious, Pierre."

"Me too. But after all, it doesn't matter what I think or believe. Actually, what happens from now on is out of my hands."

Clarisse narrowed her eyes and waited. She had never liked secrecy and mischief. And the way her son was talking now, didn't forecast any good.

"I came here to give you a warning. There are forces around in this country that won't allow Amelia to become Queen. Not after she ignored our old laws and traditions. Not after you married Joseph. From now on, you'll have to be very careful, because every step of yours and hers is watched."

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see that quite soon."

"I want an answer, Pierre!"

Now she was the Queen again: the monarch that feared for her country and her legacy.

"I can't tell you more. I did even promise not to warn you." He took his mother's hand and placed a graceful and tender kiss on it. Clarisse eyed him in wild disbelief, trying to comprehend what was happening between them. Pierre straightened up again, kissed his mother's cheek and said in a husky voice: "I have to go, Mother. May God be with you, because I can't promise you I will!"

"Pierre! Wait! You can't go like this! Pierre! Stay here!" Clarisse tried getting a hold of his sleeve as he turned to leave but he rushed out through the still opened window.

"Pierre!"

She ran to the window and watched her son rushing away over the terrace into the garden. At first she thought about contacting Shades to hunt him down, but then she gave up on the idea imagining the chaos and the gossip she would produce with her request. The wind outside was getting colder and she rubbed her arms.

"Clarisse?"

"I'm here." She closed the window and turned to Joseph. He looked at her worriedly and before she knew what she was doing she threw herself into his arms.

"Hold me! Please, Joseph, hold me!" she whispered helplessly and buried her face into his chest.

"I heard you arguing. It was about me," he stated lowly and she shook her head. "And I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be. It's hardly your fault! I don't know what went into him. But he'll have to get over it."

"I don't want to be the reason for trouble between the two of you."

"You aren't and you won't. I won't let that happen. And honestly my worst fear is something else."

"And what?"

"He was so bitter, so completely unhappy and angry with me. He never behaved like that before! He seemed so far away from me…"

"But you haven't done anything wrong to him," he said reassuringly and kissed her head. "I've watched you dealing with his abdication and his ordination to the priesthood and I never had the feeling you treated him unfairly or denied him his status in the family."

He was honest. As always Clarisse had handled the trouble with grace and poise. She had been the opposite of Rupert who had had a hard time to come to terms with his oldest son's decision.

Clarisse pulled back a bit and gave him a sad smile. "Thank you… that's what you say and what every observer might says, but I'm afraid I don't know my own son anymore."