Committing to Win Chapter 2
I don't own SVU or the characters associated with SVU.
A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive response to this next story. I honestly do not have a plan for it, just going to let my muse guide me. Feedback is good, good or bad, it is always good. So, help me out and let me know...
"Detective Russo worked out of the one-five. At least she did at the end." Olivia slid Grace's mug towards her after nodding to the waitress. "I never worked with her although I had spoken with her quite a few times."
Graced held the hot coffee mug in her hands making no attempt to drink just yet. The warmth of the small diner as well as the cup seemed to be all she needed for the moment. "She finished up with the SVU." Grace's voice lacked it's usual flare, but still Olivia found it impossible not to respond to the safe tone of it.
"Either you start or finish with the SVU; that is if you attempt it at all. It's definitely not an assignment that everybody can handle." Olivia took a sip of her own coffee which prompted Grace then to do the same.
"You spent your whole career there. Why, Olivia? How?"
"Most of it, yes. I don't always know why and I could never figure out how, but I stayed. Even after Elliot left, somehow, I stayed." Olivia let her eyes raise so that she was able to catch Grace's. "I could ask you the same. You prepare defendants for trial. The accused as you called them. You have to know they are guilty, yet you prepare them so they have a chance to get off. How do you do that, Grace?"
Grace took a few minutes to look at Olivia. Really look at the former detective who stood in the rain to talk to her. Although Olivia was once that very defendant, Grace was sure she was referring to the ones that she and Renee both hoped to put away. "I have worked for both the prosecution and the defense. I just so happen to work for Trevor Langan right now and he is as you well know, a defense attorney. How do I prepare the obvious criminal for a shot of beating the charges against them? The same way Trevor works to free them."
Olivia raised her eyebrow at Grace, allowing for the background noise of the lunchtime rush in the diner to settle her feelings about what Trevor Langan did for a living. "That's not you. You and Langan are two very different people."
"No, Olivia, we're really not. We could sit here and hash out the way the system works and what doesn't work about it, but in the end each case is specific and unique." Grace looked away from Olivia then realizing her tone was bordering angry. "There was a defense lawyer who was forced to take the case of Renee's murderer. His job was to try to get him freed of the charges against him. The charges of murdering a New York City police detective."
"A public defender." Olivia spoke softly hoping Grace would continue.
"If you had a public defender, you'd be sitting at Taconic right now...or maybe you wouldn't." Grace realized what she had implied and the expression she caught from Olivia said that she picked up on the comment as well. "Not all the accused are guilty and not all of them deserve to be punished they way they are. Each case is specific."
Olivia watched as Grace now drank often from her coffee. She recognized the actions of keeping her hands busy while her mind sorted out her thoughts and emotions. She allowed the unspoken part of the conversation to help settle their opinions. "I know, Grace. I know what Trevor did for me. I know what you did for me. I was accused of murder one and I was guilty. I could have and maybe should have gotten at least life."
"Each case is specific, Olivia." Grace pushed the mug out from in front of her and reached for Olivia's hands as her fingers were tapping nervously on the table. "You did not deserve what happened to you, nor did you deserve to go down for your actions after. Was there a better option to what you did? Legally...yes."
Olivia knew Grace didn't condone the fact that she had killed Richard the way she did, but she also knew that Grace understood completely why she had chosen such a way to stop Richard. "I had to kill him, Grace. There really was no other option."
Grace held Olivia's eyes with her own. Kind eyes, Sara had said. Grace could see her own reflexion in Olivia's eyes and wondered if it was Olivia's or her own pain that stared back at her. "I miss her terribly. I remember thinking she would be so rough and mean when I handed her the knife, but she was neither."
"Renee Russo was very good at what she did, Grace. She was good police." Olivia hated to see and feel how much Grace really did miss the fallen detective.
"She took it and set it aside and immediately stopped the other officers from touching me. They were angry, yelling, demanding that I follow their orders." Grace cringed against her own memories. "They wanted to cuff me, but Renee wouldn't let them. She said you never cuff a rape victim. Olivia, I had no idea what rape was. Years of it and I had no idea that was what it was called."
Olivia tried not to show the emotion that threatened to choke her as Grace flashed back to when she was a child. Renee Russo was Grace's saving angel that day and it was very evident that Grace had not forgotten the smallest detail.
"She refused to leave me after that. Not in the ambulance, or the hospital, or even the jail. I was just a kid, but I murdered. I'm sure she took a lot of heat for staying with me, but she stood tall when I needed her. I was just some kid to her, yet she refused to leave me alone." Grace looked away from Olivia as the tears slowly made their way down her face.
"Every cop has that one case that taunts them, that one victim that haunts them and that one child that...saves them. You couldn't have known and I doubt she did either, but she may have needed to help you as much as you needed her to." Olivia sounded strong and Grace smiled at the fact that she could almost hear Renee's voice within Olivia's words.
"You remind me so much of her, Olivia. I don't know if I realized that when I first met you. I had worked with other officers, heard their stories, felt their pain, but there was something about you that told me this was how she wanted me to pay it forward. How I could prove to her that I appreciated everything she had ever done for me."
Olivia stared at Grace, offering no response, knowing there really wasn't one needed just then. The admiration she had for Grace seemed endless and the strength Grace possessed seemed impossible. But it wasn't. Grace was stronger than any woman Olivia had known and it seemed today she struggled. Even the strong fall weak sometimes and Grace needed Olivia today. Somehow Olivia knew that as she stood in the rain watching the highly professional woman she had come to rely on; to need.
Xxxxxxx
Elliot could see Sara through the mirror if the cabinet door was opened just right. He struggled against the very simple task of tying his tie as he prepared for his day, and the way Sara watched him had caught his attention. Elliot was nervous about being alone with Sara; for her, not him. He also knew it was important for Olivia to get out of the apartment from time to time and certainly Sara didn't need a babysitter. "It's been awhile since I've had to actually get ready for work." Elliot could tie his tie, there really wasn't an issue there. His attention was on the way Sara scrutinized his every move and that altered his focus.
"Do you think Detective Amaro was a good partner for Olivia?" Sara's voice was almost like a child's when she asked questions and there was a pull in it for Elliot that felt so very familiar.
"I think he was the very best partner he could be to her, yes." Elliot didn't ask why the question. If Sara wanted to continue she would. He knew it was important for her to feel as comfortable with him as she was with Olivia.
"You don't seem to like him much."
Elliot shut the cabinet door, finished tying his tie without the mirror and joined Sara in the living room. "That's not true at all, Sara. I don't know him well is all and when I did meet him...let's just say he came with bad news."
"I like Nick." Sara stood then and approached Elliot. She raised her hands and straightened his tie before taking the necessary steps backwards to admire her work.
"He seems to be a good guy. Olivia says he is a good detective." Elliot offered Sara some coffee as he poured himself a cup. He smiled when she refused, showing him she already had orange juice. In some ways, Sara was so much like his own daughters. She was too young for coffee, despite being in her early twenties. In other ways, she was much older than her years and Elliot hated that this world could force children to grow up too fast.
"I remember you, Elliot. Olivia introduced you as Elliot, not Detective Stabler when you came to my house when my mother was killed." Sara watched Elliot as he prepared breakfast, once again refusing his offer for toast. "You stayed back though. Only Olivia talked to me."
"Olivia is very good with dealing with kids. She knew something was going on with you right away and reacted. It's just who she is." Elliot tried not to look to long at Sara when he responded. He was pleased she was talking to him and was careful not to make her nervous about doing just that.
"It's terrible what happened to her. Now she can't be a police officer anymore. It's just not fair." Sara's words sank and Elliot knew she needed his undivided attention then. He walked over to where Sara had taken a seat at the table and joined her.
"Sara, it is terrible what happened to her and believe me I hate it. Olivia is strong, so strong and she will not only survive this but she will come out on top. It's just...it's just who she is." Elliot watched as Sara took in his words. "I hate that I am going back to work and she is not. I know it bothers her, but we'll get through this. We'll all get through this...eventually."
Sara's eyes dropped when it seemed Elliot was waiting for a response. He got up and continued preparing his breakfast, hoping he didn't say too much too soon.
"You really should eat some breakfast. Most important meal of the day." Elliot smiled forcing Sara to as well.
"No, thank you. I've learned to skip breakfast over the years...especially if I had any hope of eating the rest of the day. Prison breakfast was terrible and most of the time I couldn't even identify what it was, let alone eat it."
Elliot laughed and his low tone made Sara smile. "You going to get out of here today at all? There's no rush to do anything, but it looks like a great day out now that the rain has stopped. Maybe hit Central Park?" Elliot's nonchalant question wasn't lost on Sara at all. She had been scared to death to go anywhere without Olivia and even then it was a struggle. The outside world just didn't interest her and she stopped short of admitting it scared her to death.
Elliot didn't push, just set the plate of eggs and toast in front of Sara. He then grabbed his keys and headed for the door. "You're not going to eat breakfast? The most important meal of the day?"
"Those are eggs and there are two pieces of toast with butter. Jam is in the refrigerator if you'd like. My cooking isn't the best, but at least you should be able to recognize what you're eating." Elliot opened the door before turning again to face Sara. "I have a very important meeting to sit through. One that I have been running from for a long time. I'm not so sure breakfast will work for me this morning, you know?"
Yes, Sara did know and the nervous grin Elliot gave her told her he knew she did. The sound of the lock turning from the outside of the door was both haunting and comforting. Elliot was making sure the door was locked and she was safe. That's what she knew but what she heard was the numerous times the cell door was locked behind her forcing her to stay where she was whether it be her cell with her cellmate or her solitary cell alone. Sara wondered if it was wrong for her to miss prison. She knew the way it was there, the way things worked, what to expect. Even if the unexpected was the norm, she was prepared. Now she slept a few feet from Olivia, waking to listen to the quiet nightmares as they awoke the strong detective. Once awake she could hear Elliot as he made his way to her room, never entering, just standing outside her door. Sara had listened to the screams of many women during her stay at Taconic, but none of them bothered her the way Olivia's did and there was barely any sound with Olivia's horror filled sleep. If Sara didn't hear Olivia during the night, then she knew the next morning when she greeted her with a smile and a desperate glare. Sara knew what Olivia was dealing with and the way Olivia looked at her told her she knew she did.