What doesn't kill us

Chapter Two

I have been quite overwhelmed with the response to the re-posting of this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to leave a review and/or PM me. Here is the second chapter for you to enjoy.

It had been the Home Secretary on the line telling him to stay in his office and wait for his arrival as he was on his way at that very moment from Whitehall. Harry knew that he had paid not a small part in the Albany enquiry being shelved so he was minded to heed the request and spent the time retrieving the contents of his desk from the floor and going over in his head what he would say to Ruth to make her see sense.

Thirty minutes later Towers was sat opposite him with a small glass of single malt looking at Harry as though he was some kind of specimen under glass. He cleared his throat and spoke...

"Harry, I believe that you have already spoken to Miss Evershed.. er Ruth?"

"Yes we have spoken, things got a little heated but I am sure that I can mend the bridges that I burnt Home Secretary. Mending bridges with Ms. Evershed is something I'm very good at. Iv'e had plenty of practice over the years."

"Mixed metaphors there Harry? Now I want you to listen to me carefully, I do not want you to interrupt until I have finished speaking. Understood? Good."

Taking a large sip of his whisky Towers spoke again …...

"You have made many enemies over the years Harry Pearce, some of them amongst your own side. You are single minded, fierce, and at times arrogant and the Albany fiasco was seen by some within the wider service as a chance to bring you to heel. Some wanted to humiliate you Harry whilst others would settle for nothing less than your head on a plate. It took a lot of work, calling in favours and if I am honest blackmail to get you reinstated Harry. The last stumbling block was Six. They really don't like you Harry, and as a result of that they would only agree to my proposals if they could sever one of your limbs, metaphorically speaking that is."

Harry breathed one word "Ruth".

"Yes Harry Ruth. Six have envied your analyst for a long time now, it is common knowledge that she's brilliant, that you and Five benefit from her brilliance and insight on a daily basis. That she is so to speak, The Jewel in your Crown Harry and they wanted her. They are setting up an operation in Beijing and need someone out there to do what she does best so their price for letting you keep your job was put in the simplest terms Miss Evershed. Of course I think that it was an added bonus to them that they would be taking her away from know Harry that she is the one that reins you in when you are about to go off half cocked, they know that she is the only one that you take any notice of. They know how important her presence is to you Harry. They know that she means an awful lot to you.

Towers wondered silently if he dare repeat some of the speculation that he had heard about the head of MI5 ans his ananlyst. The conjecture about the prowess of Ruth Evershed between the sheets. It was widely thought that she must be something special if she could keep Harry Pearce interesed for such a long tim. But looking at the man before him he decided that this was neither the time nor the place to share such thoughts.

" Come on Harry it's common knowledge that you've been sleeping with her for years! Surely you must have realised that the chickens would come home to roost!"

Towers seemed to be on a roll and despite Harry pushing himself away from his desk and starting to pace like a caged lion he pressed on...

"Do you know what advice I received when I was appointed? Be nice to Ruth Evershed. If you can get her on side you'll get Harry Pearce, because to put it crudely she has Harry Pearce by the balls!I thought it was all stuff and nonsense till I saw you together. Good God man sometimes you can cut the sexual tension between you with a knife! And the way you look at each other can verge on the pornographic! So please don't insult my intelligance by denying it!"

Harry Pearce was struggling to comprehend and digest the words of the Home Secretary. He had almost snorted in disdain when the stupid man had intimated that he and Ruth were in an intimate relationship! Chance would be a bloody fine thing! And so his reply to Towers was less than articulate.

"And she agreed to this?" he asked.

"Well it did take some persuasion but in the end she saw the sense in it and it's only for two years maximum."

"Will she be safe. Can they guarantee her safety. No wait forget about that, I refuse to let you manipulate us in that way. Cancel the secondment I'll take my chances and go back to the tribunal, you can't do this. I can't lose her again!"

"Sorry Harry the deed is done, no turning back now. I am aware Harry as is everyone within the service of your er...personal attachment to Ruth that is why apart from her undoubted brilliance they have targeted her."

"As to her safety she will based in our Embassy, she will have full diplomatic immunity and a twenty four hour personal guard, she is a valuable asset Harry, she will be very well taken care of believe you me. Oh just one more thing there will be absolutely no communication of any kind between the two of you; it might put her in danger we cannot afford for her to be put in any jeopardy. I' m sorry Harry but that is just the way it is. I am sure you understand. Good of the country and all that."

After the departure of Towers he had drawn his blinds and poured himself another larger snifter of whisky which he cradled as he went over the last few hours and its revelations. It was now clear to him that Ruth had once more sacrificed herself for him and how had he repaid her? By doubting her,by telling her that she was a coward when in fact he was the coward. He had been a coward for many years. He should have fought for her starting when she had turned down the offer of a second date. He was a bloody fool but he would put it right if it was the last thing he ever did!

Later that night he found himself inside Ruth's house, he was very aware that he had been followed when he had left Thames House but really sending children to tail him! He didn't know if he should be amused or insulted.

It had not taken much ingenuity for him to break-in unseen but he knew as soon as he set foot inside the house that she had gone. The house had that sad empty feel about it that he recognised so well. He set about a desultory search hoping against hope that she had left him something, something personal that he could take with him when he left. And there on her bed-side table was a copy of Persuasion he picked it up intending to take it with him and an envelope addressed to him fell out of it. He placed the the book back on the table, tucked the letter in his inside pocket and quickly exited the house. He had been in there no more than ten minutes and had left no trace of his presence.

Once home he made sure that his house was secure and then opened the letter

Dear Harry

If you are reading this you will be aware that I am no longer in the country. It is for the best you are worth so much more than me. We all depend upon you to be the man who stands on the wall. The man who will defend us all come what may.

I am not that strong Harry but I was given a chance to protect you and there was never any doubt in my mind that I would take that chance. It was very forcefully pointed out to me that I appear to be your Achilles Heel and that you would be safer with me away from you and that does make sense. I need to protect you.

I just wish that you had let me explain to you today what was going on but you were …...Well it's hard for me to fathom out where you were and just what was going on.

But I want you to know that I have no regrets about the time that I have been fortunate enough to spend with you.

Because of the nature of the work we do I don't know if we will ever see each other again or spend time with you. I had hoped that we could have shared the chance to find our way to a better understanding, to find a way back to each other. I need you to know that I do not blame you for George or for my losing Nico. I am the one to blame for what happened to them. I am the one that thought it was alright to bring them into the dark world that is my life. You asked me if I loved George and I don't think that I ever answered you. Yes I loved George, I loved the fact that he was able to give me the chance of a "normal" life. A life that was uncomplicated, a life that included Nico. A life that was elegant and calm, a wonderful life. But was I in love with George, no. I could never be in love with him because a part of me will always be tucked away and secret waiting for just one person.

I really felt that we were getting there Harry, but as always our timing was abysmal! But maybe we were not meant to have that kind of happiness. But please remember that you are a true friend Harry and you will ALWAYS have a special secret place in my heart.

Do take care Harry and try not to get shot. Oh and always count to TEN before you make a rash decision!

For ever your Ruth.

P.S. Maybe one regret, we should have gone out on that second date!

He had cried when he read the letter. She had not told him that she loved him but she had said that she would for ever be his Ruth. And he vowed there and then that she would be proud of him. That he would stand on the wall, that he would make a difference.

As the months went on his team became more and more worried about him, he was taking chances that he should not be taking. He was involving himself in field operations that were in truth beyond the capabilities of a man of his age. So much so that Dimitri called Malcolm and asked for a meeting with him. After exchanging the usual pleasantries Dimitri asked outright

"Has he got a bloody death wish Malcolm? Because it seems to us all that he does. He is becoming a danger to himself and others Malcolm. He has always worked long hours but now he seems to be existing on little or no sleep, alcohol and adrenalin. Yeah Gods Malcolm the girls have taken to bringing in food for him just to make sure that he eats. He is going to get himself either badly hurt or killed Malcolm. Please talk to him."

But before Malcolm had a chance to talk to his old friend Harry was caught in the bomb-blast that would alter his life forever.