*I obviously do not own The vampire academy or any of the characters!
*obviously this is my first fanfic so ill try to spell check and edit better
*shout out to -Immortality ()-I loved your review! if it wasn't for you i would have continued to misspell ! there is no such things as a bad review .
Dimitri-
How in the hell could rose do that? i mean one moment were kissing and i admit that its my own personal heaven then the next she's taking off her top! i couldn't believe her.
Did she want me to get cought having sex with my student or something? she wasnt thinking straight i saw that wild look in her as much as i like to play the
responsible mentor its so damn hard on a man when she sways her hips in that poor excuse for a workout already have an immense amount of sexual tension between us,
why put more pressure on our relationship? I figured that we could decide how to handle what we had between us once she graduated,but between these make-out sessions and her
wanting more, i became was only one way i figured that we would both last until graduation, i would have to break things off between least for now, i had every
intention of being with rose for the rest of my was the only woman that would ever have my heart, she made me see things in a completely different way, she knew
me and i knew her more then anyone is why i had to lie through my teeth that we couldn't make this work, what she didn't know is that i meant we couldn't make this work
right now. The pain that crossed her face as i explained my reasons for not being able to continue what we have was enough to kill me if not brong me to my knees.I never wanted
to hurt rose not ever but she would not give up she was too stubborn to wait till graduation. Then as quickly as the pain faded from her face a new look came to view. Rage !
you would have to be blind not to see the absolute fury that was shown in her eyes. I have never seen rose look so lethal and trust me Ive seen her angry before but this, no this
was something entirely different.I instantly regretted my words or at least how they came she slammed me against the wall i felt it would be better for both of us
if i just gave into her and didn't fight back.I knew that when i had pushed her away from me that it was a little forceful but i was just trying to get my point across, i didn't
look at it as me trying to lay my hands on her or anything. I would never hurt a woman ever especially my roza, i thought she would know she finally spoke to me after
having me pinned against the wall i felt my world shatter around me.
"fuck you Dimitri !if you cant be a man and make what we have work then i don't need you in my life, these training sessions are over! i don't need you and your foreign help!" then
leaned in and whispered ."stay the fuck away from me, you don't deserve to be in the same room as me let alone the same campus, just stay the hell away because you never loved me anyway."
Then she was gone.I was sitting in the gym replaying what just toke place between rose and i and was at a complete loss for thought i didn't love her? that was anything
but the truth, it is my love for her that makes me want to do this no expert at relationships the closest connection i have to a relationship is Tasha and even that didn't
work out well(hmmmm maybe i can fill tasha in and ask for her advise, ill give her a call later).Maybe rose just needed time to cool down then i could talk to her. I cant believe
the way i treated her , i always try to separate work from our relationship but due to the fact that she is my student boundaries get stepped on that was no excuse
for me to act like such an asshole! she just wanted more from me and i cant blame her i wanted the same things but the timing was way is like a goddess to me i would
never try to make love to her on a damn mat in a gym, she deserved to much better. That was another reason why i pushed her away i wanted our first time to be me a
girl all you want but i knew that rose would be happy going at it just anywhere but not me i wanted to make a good memory of i have ALOT to make up for! i wonder what
she's doing right now? i wonder if she'll show up to practice tommarow? i knew woman so i knew that maybe she just spoke out of anger but that was a big what if she's
telling the truth and she really doesn't want me anymore, fuck if that's the case then i am so at least i know rose and i know how much she loves me so ill just give her
time before i find a chance to win her back.I mean its not like she's going to start dating any time soon right? i still have a chance! right?
Rose-
One week. One very long exhausting depressing fucking week since things ended between Dimitri and i left the gym in my state of rage i thought id just shower go to bed wake
up and be was i wrong, that night i had the worst nightmare ever.I dreamt of the future, a completely normal future where i was Lissa's guardian protecting her
from evil for the rest of my life.I know that doesnt seem scary maybe boring to some but not scary. right? Wrong , the reason why i woke up screaming in the middle of the night
was because although my life seemed normal there was a huge chunk of my life missing wasn't there like at all, not as a friend or anything he was non-existent as though
he was never even apart of my was the worst night that i cried over and over again until i thought i was going to pass did i think that my heart could physically
hurt but it did, that first day i was such a mess that i just stayed in bed all day, feigning wasn't far from the truth, i know that me and Dimitri weren't constantly
together like a normal we never even went out on a date but what we had was special at least i thought it was special i can only speak for my before at least
i knew that i would be able to spend time with him at practice and then every once and awhile i would prey that after practice we would get a little "us" I avoided him
at all costs.I devoted 90% percent of my time to my guardian classes and the other 10% to my friends. Lissa knew something was wrong but wouldn't pressure me, i just told her that
i wasnt feeling so well and she instantly tried to heal me with her spirit powers which i for some odd reason was constantly around as though he knew i was no longer
with between class and my friends i was able to make it the rest of the week with out any public breakdowns and thankfully zero sittings of was Monday and
I was awake way to early for the acadmys schedual 5 p.m to be debating wheather or not to get out of bed i decided to get dressed and take a walk, as i looked through
my closet for something comfortable to wear i realized that most of my comfort clothes were in my gym bag that i left behind after my hasty retreat on just fucking great
now i have to go back to that damn gym that holds way to many memory's for me to deal with right now. Ohh well here goes nothing, besides its early i bet no ones even there right now.
I threw my hair up in a quick bun and dressed in some comfortable yet hip huggin jeans with a white tank top, besides just cause my heart is broken doesn't mean i have to dress how i feel.
outside while the sun was still up was refreshing since i constantly feel stuck in the dark, it's nice being out here while every ones still asleep the campus is quite and
walking in silence feels good since my week has been anything but, what i forget is that while welcoming the silence im also awakening thoughts that ive fought to keep away.
Memories of Dimitri and i during happier times make me miss him and if theres one thing that i can live without its missing dimitri.I dont want to be weak i need to prove to myself
that i can live with out him.
Walking into the gym i see that nothing has changed, obviously i cant expect the world to change just because my world has.I also notice that my damn bag is nowhere in sight,
where in the hell is it? i could have sworn that i left it right here!Damn it must be in to equipment searching for my bag i hear the gym doors open and close, Great
just what i fucking need to get caught looking in the gym when i should be in my dorm spotting my bag in the corner of the room i decide that if i just walk out and act
like its no big deal then maybe i wont get in trouble, clearly i cant just leave my bag in here i stand up straight and face whoever is on the opposite side of
this door head , might as well get this over with i think as i open the door. Awesome no one is in sight! sprinting towards the doors then throwing them open so i can run my ass back up to
my room I run straight into ..... Fuck man!! there goes my easy escape and now i have to face the one person who i would rather just forget about.
We stand there for what seems like forever just staring eachother down, he looks like hell with bags under his eyes that were never there before and his hair is sticking out in
every which he looks worse than i do , at least i try to look presentable i wonder what happened to also looks relieved for some reason, hmm i wonder if he's gonna
snitch me out to kirova to see if ill get house arrest or something.I know he cant be relieved to see me! shit this was his decision. But i wonder??? NO! i wont let myself
make the same mistake again by believing that he what got me into this damn mess to being maybe i should say something to throw him off and let him think
that i have no hard him think that i don't care about what happened that im fine and not hurting on the inside, which we all know is a lie.
"Hi guardian Belikov, sorry that im in the gym so early i just had to get my bag, i swear im not up to no just going to run back to my dorm to get ready for my first class."
Word vomit wow he is going to think im crazy hopefully he cant see past the fake ass smile i have on my face.
"Hello rose" he says slowly as though he's afraid to continue, well i guess that's my Que to get the hell out of here.I turn away from him and start on a light jog towards the dorms.
"Rose!" he yells behind me , but i act like im too busy running to hear is he following me? I'm so fucked if i have to confront him right now! i could only hide my hurt for
so long. Suddenly I feel his hands on my wrist spinning me around so fast that i think i might pass out.
"what the hell do you want ?"
"Rose i think we need to talk"
"about?" i play dumb
"you know the other day when you chose to quit practicing with me?"
"What?" i furious if that's all he remembers from the other day i think i might kill him with my bare hands.
"Well i just wanted to let you know that you're never going to get ahead to catch up for graduation without me, so you might as well get over yourself and start coming back to the
practices that we have schedualed."
"That is so low of you to say." i whisper "you want to pretend like nothing ever happened? fine go right why cant you just stay away from me like i asked?"
"I cant." he said almost to low for even me to hear."i cant roza, i didnt mean to say what i just said but i just...i mean i just figured since you were acting like everything was
ok then maybe you would want me to act the same.I know you still need to practice with me but i dont want you to think that is all i remember from the other me I
cant forget that night, its all i think about."
Im stunned too shocked to speak. I don't want to go there in my mind i DO NOT want to believe the regret i hear in his voice the pain laced in his 's too much.
"Dimitri, please don't do this right now. please." I beg. "I'm already numb Dimitri i cant do this right now"
I turn away from the hurt in his eyes because its too much for me to bare right now.
"Just stay ."
I cant pretend for him and i cant lie to he expects me to act like hurtful words weren't said the other night then that's just something i cant one day well
get through this but all i know is today is not that day. So for the second time I walk away.