Fallen

Chapter Two: Close of a Long Day

Dean drove recklessly fast toward the gas station he knew Cas was. A million thoughts racing through his mind, it was a wonder he was on the right side of the road. Cas was human—he could've figured that much—but what exactly happened? He was mostly worried how Cas would feel about all of this. First Sam, and now Cas? Was he actually going to be the one that doesn't hate himself in all this? Him, Dean everyone-I-love-dies Winchester? Maybe they needed to go a couple rounds in Purgatory to straighten their thoughts. It sure as hell helped him. Snap out of it. He needed to think about Cas. Cas, his best friend. Cas, the angel he searched the better part of a year for in Purgatory. Cas, who he absolutely loved having around and pissed when he wasn't around. The only other person he'd die for besides Sam.

And Dean smiled thinking about all this, smiled like a teenage girl thinking about her crush because that's exactly what it was. He figured it out in Purgatory, but that didn't make it any less unknown and scary. Cas called him, Cas needed his help, Cas turned to him, so Dean was going to do the damn best he could helping him through this mess.

"I can't fail, not this time…"

Shit. Cas wasn't going to be rainbows and smiles, that for sure.

Dean arrived to find Castiel waiting patiently near the road, and got out to talk to him. The million thoughts ran through his mind again and many questions he wanted to ask, but he needed to make sure Cas was okay.

"You alright?"

Cas's jaw was rigid and his eyes were rimmed red from tears that threatened to spill over. Despite all this, he nodded.

"What happened?"

"I—Metatron used my grace. To complete the spell,"

"Is that what it was, a spell?"

Castiel nodded. "A spell that casts all angels out of heaven,"

"Shit, Metatron did this? The fucking son of a bi—" Dean drew a hand over his face and willed himself to calm down. Cas didn't need him to be angry at anything right now. "So how did Metatron get your grace?"

Castiel winced at the question and swallowed at the memory. "He trapped me as I appeared. He killed Naomi—I saw her stabbed through the neck. He slit my throat open and my grace was sucked into a vile. I thought he was going to kill me, but he healed me and placed me safely on Earth,"

"He slit your throat?" Dean blinked excessively as he willed himself to keep his composure.

Cas sighed. "Yes, and he tried to erase my past memories with you,"

"He tried to make you forget us?"

"You specifically,"

"Christ—but why your grace? Why couldn't he have used another angel's grace—like Naomi's? He killed her,"

"It's possible it was because I was helping him complete the spell,"

"No, spells don't work like that do they?"

"In any case, Metatron was the one who killed the Nephilim,"

"Nephilim?"

"The product of an angel and a human,"

Dean didn't want to think about the implications of that statement. Or the fact that the spell had pretty sketchy ingredients he was starting to put together—kill a Nephilim, a product of an angel and a human, a cupid's bow, and then Castiel's grace? Dean wasn't stupid, it had to be connected somehow and he really didn't want to dive into that territory. Though it may help clear his mind.

"Right, but you're okay? After all of this?" Dean looked at Cas expectedly.

Castiel nodded.

Dean sighed. He was obviously not okay, but Dean thought that Cas would talk when he was ready. He didn't press the issue any further and directed Cas into the front seat.

"Alotta shit has happened, man. Sam's in a coma-state, and before he slipped under he wanted me to take in Crowley. He's mostly human now, and still a sass, somehow."

"How is he?"

"Self-loathing, mostly. The least we can do is forgive him,"

"How is Kevin with Crowley there?"

Dean snorted. "He's a bit on edge, but he sees that Crowley's different now,"

Castiel nodded. "Does he still have his demonic—mojo?"

Dean smirked at Cas's work choice. "I dunno, he didn't try anything. I told him not to. He says he just has telekinesis,"

"Can he uh, 'smoke out' as you say?"

"No, he's too human, probably like how Sam is—human with demon blood. Not the King of Hell anymore, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure Abaddon has taken over by now,"

"The Knight? I thought they were all dead,"

"Well, she survived. Long story—but she time traveled from the 50s to now and we stopped her by cutting her into pieces, but we put'em back together for the final trial and it's our fault she's still out there,"

"This isn't good,"

Dean sighed. "When is anything good with us, Cas?"

Castiel nodded. "How are you going to provide for all of us?"

"I really don't know, Cas, I'm gonna have to be super nanny,"

Castiel squinted and cocked his head.

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. "It's like I'm taking care of four freakin' supernatural children,"

Castiel huffed. "I am not a child,"

Dean laughed. "I know, Cas. It's a joke,"

Dean and Castiel had returned to the bunker rather quickly. When Dean was about to open the door, he couldn't ignore Castiel's mood. It wasn't fair if he just ignored how his best friend was feeling, especially after viewing his brothers and sisters falling from Heaven.

"Are you sure you're okay, man? You can't just bottle everything up. Trust me, I have first-hand experience," Dean looked at Cas, and once Cas met his gaze, he burst into tears.

"Hey, Cas, it's okay," Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder as he shook.

"All of this is my fault!"

Dean felt a horrible sinking feeling in his chest as Cas said that. Sure, Dean did tell him to stay, but Dean wasn't going to hold it against him. Not now of all times. Dean pulled Cas into a hug and let him cry on his shoulder, his hands grabbing onto Dean's T-shirt. He knew Cas was going to be upset, and he needed to be held. Dean held him like he would hold Sam when he was younger, rubbing his back and saying "Shh" every now and then.

"Shh, Cas, don't say that, don't—"

"No, Dean! This is my fault! I failed Heaven—failed Heaven twice. I trust the wrong people, I don't trust the people I need to trust, I make wrong decisions—and worst of all, I failed you,"

"Cas, I trusted Metatron, too. I helped you complete the second trial. Don't take it all for yourself. And you did not fail me,"

"I should've stayed with you. I should've always stayed with you. I should've listened to you—listened to Naomi,"

"How could you listen to Naomi? She tried to make you kill me. Of course you wouldn't trust her,"

"Dean, if you look at the facts—"

"No, Cas! Those aren't facts. Look at me," Dean pulled Cas out of the hug, hands on his shoulders, and made eye contact. "This is not your fault. You can't blame yourself. I've been there and believe me, taking the fall for everything only destroys you. The one responsible is Metatron. He wanted this, not you. You did the best you could and what you thought was right for your home. We still have the angel tablet and Kevin, we can fix this. For all we know, it could say how to reverse this,"

Castiel wiped his eyes. He couldn't believe it. Dean was comforting him in a way he's only ever seen him do with Sam. Dean cared enough for him, but how was he going to repay him? "My brothers and sisters—the rest of them—"

"We'll figure it out, Cas. We always do,"

"How are they going to live? It was hard enough for me the first time I fell and I was stationed on Earth for thousands of years,"

Dean tapped Castiel's shoulder. "I wish I knew what to do, Cas. If you want, we could take them in. Then I'd be super nanny for sure. And we'd have a lot of clothes shopping to do. I already sound like a housewife,"

Cas smiled slightly. "Thank you, Dean,"

"Come on inside then," Dean let go of Cas's shoulders and opened the door, and they headed inside.

"I'm sorry I can't be much use to you in this state, Dean. I'm a—baby in a trench coat,"

Dean chuckled at the memory. "Come on, Cas! You remembered that, but not that I'd rather have you—cursed or not? You're family and I need you,"

Castiel smiled. Dean always had that effect on him, the happiness that seeped through him and now the odd fluttering of the heart and churning of the stomach that came with his human emotions. It felt as if he was flushing in the cheeks. Could he control such reactions? "Thank you, Dean,"

"No need to thank me, but hey—I'll teach you everything I know. You'll be a hunter in no time. You still wanna be a hunter, right?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"'Course Cas, I don't want you left out,"

"I hope I won't be a burden,"

"No, family is never a burden. Come on, I'll show you to your room. I can give you some old clothes of mine. You can't sleep in what you're wearing,"

"Thank you, Dean. I'm really grateful,"

"Don't mention it Cas." Dean walked with Cas in tow toward the corridor with bedrooms. "Here, this is your bedroom. Mine's next door, if you need anything, just knock,"

"May I see your room?"

"Sure, but why?"

Castiel looked away. "You seemed excited about it before, and I wanted to see the last time I was here, but you were angry—"

Dean nodded in understanding. "Yeah, come on, Cas, I gotta get you some clothes anyway," Dean led Cas into his room. "Nothing much, really, but it's awesome to have something to call my own,"

Castiel observed the desk, the records, the weapons wall, and the picture next to his bed on the nightstand as Dean gathered some clothes for him. "This is you and your mother,"

"Yeah,"

"She's beautiful, I always thought so. I don't believe I told you. You look like her," Cas smiled and turned to Dean.

"Yeah? No one's ever said that, well, not that I can remember," Dean smiled and rubbed his neck.

"This is where all your prayers came from," Cas stated sadly. He had heard them, but did not answer. He had failed Dean.

Dean nodded. "Uh, yeah. It's in the past, you're here now and that's what matters. Come on, you should get some sleep,"

"Actually, I'm rather hungry, if you don't mind,"

"Nah, we got some food after Kevin was going to stay with us,"

"I did get you some groceries while you were out—"

"Whaddya mean, Cas?"

"I got you your favorite beer, Busty Asian Beauties, they were out of pie—"

"Wait, hold on. You got me porn?"

"I was trying to show you how sorry I was,"

Dean shook his head. "Cas, I was mad because you kept leaving me. I had no right—"

"I left to protect you, Dean,"

Dean sighed. "It doesn't matter. Thanks for trying to get me pie,"

"You're very welcome,"

"So, let's make some grub, huh?"

Castiel nodded. "Can you teach me how to prepare my meal?"

"Sure Cas. First here—" Dean handed Cas a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants from his drawer. "—put these on,"

Castiel began to take off his trench coat.

Dean gulped. "Uh, Cas? You have your own room to do that in,"

"Right, my apologies. I'll go to my room,"

"I'll be in the kitchen,"

Castiel dressed quickly and headed to the kitchen. He felt nice in the change of clothes, cooler and cleaner, which wasn't a big surprise after wearing the same outfit for years. He also smelled the shirt deeply when he put it on, something that he didn't really understand, but it smelled good. It smelled like Dean—gunpowder, leather, and slight sweat covered by cheap soap—and it comforted him in some way.

When he entered the kitchen, he noticed it had a couple of counters and cupboards, a cabinet, a stove, a refrigerator, and a pantry. There was also a countertop table with barstool-type chairs. Dean had just taken out a package of meat to join a slice of cheese and a bag of shredded lettuce.

"Can I be of assistance?"

"Yeah, Cas, I just took out everything we need. I'll teach you how to cook a burger," Dean turned then, and saw Castiel in his clothes. The look of Cas in so little clothing made Dean jump a bit, and he was flushing. It made him look smaller than he was, though he fit the clothes well. Then he notices Cas's shirt is on backwards. "Uh, Cas, your shirt is on backwards,"

"My apologies," Castiel takes off his shirt and switches it.

Dean watches and curses himself at the fast heartbeat he gets while watching. The sight of Cas's chest made Dean lick his lips involuntarily. His chest was nicely toned and fit. Dean was panicking, realizing he was checking out a dude and not just any dude but Cas and actually likes what he sees. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he's checked Cas out, but it's sure the first time he's checked out his bare chest. He wondered if it was just Cas who had this effect on him and if he could ever check out other guys' chests. He shuddered at the thought.

"Dean?"

Dean blinked out of his thoughts, flinching a bit. "Huh? Oh, yeah Cas?"

"What do I do first?"

"Right, you uh, prep the meat. Just uh, take the salt and pepper and put a little shake on it,"

Cas carefully picked up the salt and did one shake and the same with the pepper. "Good?"

"You can do better than that," Dean chuckled and took the pepper from Cas's hand, shaking on a bit more, specially seasoning it for him.

Castiel squinted. "What is the purpose of more seasoning?"

"It makes it taste good. Now let's prepare the grill," Dean placed a grilling pan from one of the cupboards onto the stove and turned up the heat. "Place it on medium high,"

Castiel nodded as Dean took a flat instrument and handed it to him. "What is it?"

"It's a spatula to flip your burger. I'll put it on the grill,"

"No Dean, I want to do that. I need to learn,"

"Alright, pick it up and place it on the grill. Don't burn yourself,"

Castiel did as Dean asked and didn't burn himself. "Now what?"

"Wait until you see the corners start to brown and then flip it,"

"Okay,"

Dean grabbed a bun, placed it open on a plate, and set it next to Cas.

"Dean, I think it's happening,"

"Okay, flip it,"

"How?"

"Get the spatula underneath the burger,"

Castiel held the spatula upside down and began trying to flip the burger.

Dean laughed. "Here, you're gonna burn it," Dean placed his hand over Cas's, standing behind him, and helped him flip the burger. And totally not thinking about touching Cas and being so close to him. Not at all. "Now wait until the sizzling slows down and put it on the plate I set over there,"

"Yes, thank you, Dean," Castiel was startled by the touch, but it was pleasant, like electricity and heat, and made Castiel's heart flutter. He wished to do it again.

Castiel noticed the slowing sizzling and picked up the burger with the spatula right this time and placed it on the bun on his plate.

Dean smiled and turned off the stove. "Good, now put what you want on it. There's cheese and shredded lettuce, we don't have much else,"

"Then I shall have both," Castiel put the lettuce first and then the cheese before the top bun, earning a fond smile from Dean, who thought it was adorable.

"Okay, go ahead and eat. You can sit at the counter,"

Castiel nodded and sat at the counter as Dean began putting the meat and lettuce away. Castiel noticed how hungry he was as he held the burger in his hands. He took a careful, gentle bite, chewed thoroughly, and swallowed. Then he noticed Dean looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"It's delicious,"

"The seasoning is all me," Dean grinned. He really loved the sight of Castiel eating, and was nearly swooning over it. Like a fucking girl.

Castiel returned a small smile and continued to eat, chewing each bite thoroughly before swallowing. Dean proceeded to pour him a glass of water and set it next to him, which Castiel nodded as a thank you. Dean continued to watch him, and it was making him feel uncomfortable for some reason.

"Dean, why are you staring at me?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Cas. It's just—you don't normally eat, and it's kinda funny to watch,"

"Oh, but I don't understand. Why does your gaze feel unsettling?"

"Now you know how I felt,"

Castiel frowned. "That doesn't answer my question, Dean. I've been getting interesting feelings around you."

Dean's heart skipped a beat, throat suddenly dry. "Like what?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain. I just know I'm very happy in your presence,"

Dean smiled. "Oh, well I'm happy in your presence, too,"

Castiel smiled back, extremely delighted by the response, and continued eating. "You can watch me eat, if you like," he said shyly.

Dean laughed. He wanted to call Cas adorable, but that was bordering on something more, and that wasn't in Dean's plans for tonight at all. Instead, he just watched Cas eat until he finished.

"Alright Cas, time for bed. You need to sleep,"

"I don't know if I can, Dean. It'll take some getting used to,"

"Just try to get at least four hours in, okay? I have to check on the other—kids,"

Castiel nodded. "I'll try,"

"Good," Dean walked Cas to his room and was headed to Kevin's before bumping into him in the corridor.

"Oh, your back," Kevin said.

"Yeah, how's Crowley?"

"I asked if he was hungry, but he didn't want anything. He's in his room,"

"Okay. How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine,"

"Come on, with Crowley here? You don't seem fine,"

Kevin sighed. "Okay, it bothers me a little. You know what he did to me. But he said my mom's alive, so that's one less thing to be bitter for. I guess I'm gonna have to move on and forgive him,"

Dean nodded. "I'm sorry we're gonna ask you to translate the angel tablet. I mean, Cas is beating himself up over this. We need to find out if we can reverse this or something,"

Kevin sighed. "I know, and don't worry about it. I am a prophet of the Lord, it's my job,"

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna check on Crowley," Dean walked toward the room he gave the sort-of-demon and knocked.

Crowley opened the door. "Your back,"

"Yeah, I was wondering how you were,"

"I'm okay, I guess. I just hope Sam's okay,"

"You and me both. Okay, just remember, if you need anything, I'm down the hall, Cas is here, too. And don't be afraid to go to Kevin, either. We're all gonna have to stick together,"

"Right, thank you,"

"Try to sleep,"

"Yes,"

"And remember, you were a demon. You can't expect to have done anything but evil. Try not to beat yourself up over things you did,"

Crowley nodded, eyes downcast before he shut his door.

Lastly, Dean went into Sam's room, where he lay unconscious. He sighed at the sight, and couldn't help but feel thankful that nobody was dead or separated from each other. Isn't that how this shit always ended? Maybe the curse was broken.

"Hang in there Sammy, you're gonna be alright," Dean shook his head, "Or you better be or I'll kick your ass,"

Dean sighed and went to his room to finally collapse on his bed. What a long day.