"No, Duncan!" I snatched my arm out of his grasp. Speed walking, I was able to get away for about a total of three seconds. Drat his athletic abilities. Damn his athletic abilities, Careless Courtney says.
"Courtney, I don't see why you're making such a huge fit about this!" He exclaimed. It started to rain and as the seconds of brisk walking passed, we got more and more soaked. I stopped, suddenly, and Duncan had to backtrack a few steps to get to where I was.
"Oh my god!" I screeched in intolerance. It had only been a few weeks and we were already having our third fight. Duncan looked like he might be about to laugh. I frowned. "What are you smiling about?"
"You so sounded like a spoiled teenager just now." He laughed. "Or a bird; it's just to close to call." He wiped his brow. My blood boiled and I started walking again. "Hey," He called after me, running again to catch up.
"Duncan, you can't even comprehend how much I just want to be alone right now." I said; my voice had taken on a shrill, anxious quality.
"Hey," He said, grabbing my arm again. I yanked it away. "Stop doing that!" He said.
"Why? So you can feed me more crap about secrets?" I said. I knew I was pushing it. "I don't even know why you're really still walking with me at all." I crossed my arms against the wind that had begun to pick up.
"Crap? About secrets?" He asked, playing the part of the ignorant boyfriend down to the "T". I stopped again; I couldn't walk in the wind anymore. My cheeks stung from the little needlepoint pelts of rain.
"I can't do this with you Duncan. Why don't you just dump me? Why do you have to torture me like this?" I wished I hadn't asked him that. Ugh, I really wish I hadn't said any of that at all now… CIT Courtney scolds Careless Courtney. Duncan's expression changes from amused and perturbed to alerted.
"What do you mean?" He said, crossing his arms from the cold too. A little sound of embarrassment and frustration escaped my mouth.
"That is exactly what I mean." I motioned toward him. I couldn't deny him- his wet shirt clung to him; his hair was tussled like it always was after we had been together. I blush. CIT Courtney corrects me on my image of our together, the one I pictured. We had only been together for a few weeks, after all, she says.
"Quit it with the code talk, Courtney." He sighed. "Just speak in plain English." Now, I didn't really want to, though.
"Never mind." I said. We were in the forest, once again; it was, after all, where we seemed to do most of our soul searching. I hunkered down against a tree and hugged my knees. The wind blew at my back and sent my hair billowing in front of my face. Duncan sat too and sighed.
"Really, what is it?" He asked, placing a hand on my knee. Oh, now that wasn't fair. He's not supposed to turn into Soft Duncan when I am madder at him than I ever have been. My heart involuntarily picked up speed. "Tell me." He said. I groaned.
"I can't keep up this charade, Duncan." I said. "This sick thing we have. It is wearing me down." I rubbed my arms; chill bumps making themselves more prominent as the rain picked up speed. Duncan was still now.
"Oh," He said, turning his head away. My heart sank a little lower than it was.
"What you said to me in there," I said, faltering as I got up the courage to finish the sentence. "Well, it really hurt." He turned to face me again, blue eyes sullen.
"I'm sorry." He said. Ah, there was that stab. I had almost come to terms with it. The ever prominent, never tardy stab my heart received whenever he said he was sorry. I almost cried. He reached over and put his hand on my cheek. "I am so sorry." I closed my eyes as the pain welled in my chest.
"Duncan…" I sighed, struggling to swallow. "If you don't really like me than just get it over with." I said, squeezing my eyes as his thumb moved across my cheek. "Just tell me." He was silent for a minute and I didn't dare open my eyes to see the expression his held.
"Courtney," He said after an agonizing minute of silent rain. "I don't want to stop seeing you." My heart sunk further. If that was the case, was I to endure this torment for the rest of our time together? "I just…" He faltered. "I just don't know if I'm ready to show that side of me."
"You don't have to be the tough guy." I pressed. "Tough guys aren't always the best." I had meant that his softer side was better… His thumb paused mid-caress and my eyes flashed open and darted to his face. Oops. Too late to save the moment now. CIT Courtney said 'I told you so', and Careless Courtney sighed and waited for retaliation. I shut my eyes again as his thumb pressed hard against my cheek. I breathed in and tried to become still as a statue. Come back, Duncan. Soft Duncan had disappeared and Hard Duncan had come to bid hello. His thumb pressed harder still into my cheek. The pain was growing worse. I couldn't hold it much longer. A soft whimper sounded through pressed lips. Immediately the pain subsided and I opened my eyes. The rage was gone. Hello, Soft Duncan. Pain now swam over his face.
"I'm sorry." He said, hanging head in his hands. I crumpled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I am so sorry." I sighed as I felt the stab. He let his head fall on my chest. I couldn't deny my weakness toward him; I couldn't really imagine being with out him.
"Duncan, it's alright." I said. The rain poured now with a vengeance and I started to cry. "It's alright." His hand reached up and grabbed the back of my shirt. My heart swelled to fill the sinking of earlier.
"I love you." He whispered in my ear. My tears fell heavier now.
"I know." I said, wishing his love was more than what he gave. "I love you too."
So this is very short, but hopefully it angsts it up. The plot has started rolling and we're on our way! Yeah dude!