I will post pictures of Tracy's wedding dress, and maybe when writing the wedding somebody else's clothes on my Instagram "Linneagbfanfiction" so if you want to see what it looks like, that's where you can get a picture.

And, as I probably should do in any story, especially those including Tracy, thanks to x snow- pony x for all her help with information and quotes.

Here we go.

I had had my bridal dress hanging in my wardrobe for two months already now.

I had gotten it out to try it on I wouldn't know how many times, as if only to check if it still suited. But how much could my short, skinny but curvy body have changed since the last time I did it a few days ago.

"Are you alright there Tracy?" Seth suddenly knocked on the door and tugged the door handle. I had had to lock the door to our bedroom when I was in the bedroom. "You were pretty messed up a couple of hours ago so I just wanted to check."

"The door is locked. Don't come in here, it means bad luck for the future husband to see the dress before the wedding."

"Since when are you so superstitious?"

Since things had started going wrong. Since everything in my life had ended up going wrong.

But, one little voice said, most of them ended up going rightly in the end. I did end up in care but was at last adopted by Cam. I had used all of her money to publish my own book and I didn't think I'd found my dream job when I'd had it there all along. Neither Cam nor Seth had been anyone of those I'd seen in my dreams and certainly no favorites, but they had ended up the best and were certainly my favorites now.

"I'll be there in just a second."

"Should I order a pizza or something."

"I have the recipe and things to make a pasta, I was going to make it."

"Damn." I heard him on the other side of the door. "I was craving pizza."

"You're always craving for pizza Seth." I shouted back at him more and more annoyed. "just get it if you want. You're an adult person and you can decide for yourself what you want for dinner. But I need to watch my weight until the wedding so I'm not having it."

"You're not anywhere near fat Trace." Seth continued having heard the word behind what I had said. "You certainly don't need to watch your weight. And… I think you've had enough of thinking for one day. So I'm going to ban you from the kitchen and order some take in before you can pick something out."

"Why ask me if we're going to go with what you want anyway?"

"Uh come on Tracy, don't be like that!"

"Don't be like what?"

Seth sighed and gave me a meaningful glare. I knew exactly what he meant and stopped with my head against the kitchen counter as if I was preparing for a meal.

"Order a coke and one with ham and pineapple and then a coke for me please."

Seth's glare turned into a smirk. He must have known he was going to get this dinner his way from the start.

I went into the hallway and sat down on the bench, but didn't have the peaceful to sit still and continued with pacing back and forward. In the kitchen I could hear Seth talking in the kitchen and then heard his footsteps before he came into the hallway and pulled his arms around me to then look us both in the hallway mirror.

"We look pretty good together if you ask me. Can you imagine, that at first seconds of 2019, it will finally be you and me? Forever and for real. And all we have to do is to wait for December to run faster and Christmas to be over and give space for New Year's."

I walked over slowly towards the hallway windows and looked out on the cloudy, grey skies that were just waiting to let some of its weight go.

"I'd like to invite my parents for the wedding." I said all of a sudden almost before the thought had passed my mind. "Maybe even my brothers even though I never knew they existed. Would that be okay with you?"

"Yes." Seth gave a quick answer and looked as if that had been his idea all along. "I think that's fine… But well… Why are you looking at me like I didn't understand anything all of a sudden?"

"I don't even know where they are. Mum could have moved anywhere since I saw her last and even if she's got a place she might not be there. And… Gav, when he spoke he did by no means sound English. They could be halfway to America, for all I know. I don't even know his full name, or, it seems like it's Gavin but then mum called him Gav like a nickname and I don't even know his last name because Beaker was my mother's birthname."

I slumped down into the couch of our living room. Tears were close, but I had no more since I had broken down seconds after both of my parents had just stood outside our door.

I for sure hadn't expected something like that when I woke up this morning and started thinking about the wedding, just like I had for months. And still there were almost one month left before the actual thing.

Seth laid a blanket around my shoulders and I pulled it close around me as if I was cold- I was always cold after crying for some reason. He then sat down and laid his arm around my shoulders.

There were just some things, like exactly this that I would never have accepted for them to do without protesting and yelling at them not to.

Mike and I had been close though… Still not like me and Seth. Definitely not as my and Seth's relationship.

We just sat until we finally heard someone pulling up in front of our driveway. Still we sat until there was footsteps up the stairs.

"Great, pizza."

It wasn't pizza though, it was someone who dropped an envelope through the letterbox. And before I'd opened it I realized who it was and ripped the door open at the same time as I heard the door downstairs closing.

Probably knowing it was too late I flew down the stairs still wrapped in the blanket. There was no one outside, but there was a car and before I'd recognized my mum's hair by the shotgun seat the driver had hit the pedal, skidding out of the parking lot and sped down the drove.

"NO…" I ran after them, as I'd run after Cam all of that time ago. "NO, WAIT."

I stopped when the car turned around the corner, there was no way for me to catch up with them. And I must have been standing there for at least before I turned and walked back up the stairs and into the flat where Seth stood with the envelope.

"Here's what they left."

I took the envelope and ripped it open. In it was one photo only and the envelope fell to the floor as I watched the picture of three children, one baby wrapped in a pink blanket and one toddler holding her proudly, then another boy that was about ten or so, the only one who was looking into the camera and smiling brightly with his whole face.

"Maybe there's something written on the back of it… Look at those black curls of the boys'. You can't really see the baby but I think I can just see a group of thick, black curls and it has a pink blanket so it must be a girl… Do I know someone else with thick, black curls?"

Seth ruffled in my hair, I had straightened those curls every single day since before he knew me. I hated old photos of myself… How could I even go around with that frizz?

One moment I was just too frozen to do or say anything at all. I had never seen a picture of myself as a baby before, as a toddler, yes. But this was something else and somehow I just knew who was in the picture even before I turned to read on the back and what someone had written.

Tracy Beaker, along with her older half-brothers Trevor Johnson, 9 and Tristan Johnson, 2. Picture taken Newcastle Memorial hospital, Newcastle England, June the first 1991. Picture shot by dad Gavin Johnson.

Fans of Taylor Swift might be noticing already, but every chapter of this story will have the title of a song she's made. The chapter doesn't have to be anything like the song's theme but the title is still by the same title.

Random fact

There are some titles I can probably promise I won't use like Tim McGraw. Haha, there is one song titled by Taylor Swift I will not put as a title of this story, the chapter of it or anything else and that is "Ronan." Go check it out and you'll see what I mean. It's just the saddest song ever.