Chapter 2 - Possible Side Effects
oOoOoO Naruto OoOoOo
Naruto flew up into the air, his eyes wide with shock, his arms grasping for purchase where there was none. He fell, hurtling towards the floor with shocking velocity, into Minato's arms.
"Upsy-daisy!" The man gushed, tossing him into the air again. His subordinates, by now used to what they called his 'baby-mania,' just averted their eyes with a sigh. It was strangely terrifying for Naruto, who had moved much faster in his life and in much worse circumstances. Still, he couldn't help but laugh. His annoying baby laugh. From his irritating high pitched voice
Damn you Advocate! Naruto cursed mentally. When you said side effects, you meant it!
A chuckle echoed back.
Now three months old, Naruto was beginning to regain a little control. He could sort of wave his arms around a bit, and his hands could close even if he could barely move his fingers. It was a strangely humbling feeling, not being able to move your body the way you wanted. And the diapers - the horrible diapers!
Naruto shuddered. Noticing, Minato stopped tossing him and grinned. "Maybe you're a little young for that yet. It's crazy how big you've gotten! I forget you're only a few months old sometimes!"
Naruto glared at him. Was he implying Naruto was short?
You are short, Naruto,Advocate said, smugly.
And foul-mouthed, Kurama commented.
Shut up, dattebayo! Naruto roared mentally. The seal this time was much weaker. He had the feeling that Kurama was not only able to talk to him, but able to read his mind when he wasn't on guard.
Well, sorry for not being good enough, Advocate grumbled moodily. Next time I'll let you do it, see how that works out for you.
There's not gonna be a next time!
Minato stared at his child curiously. Naruto popped back into reality and stared back at him.
"I swear, you have the strangest eyes," Minato murmured, peering into them. Naruto turned his head with a bored 'hmmph!'
"I do believe you've just been shunned," Jiraiya said, entering the Namikaze household. His clothes were dirty from the road, and he looked tired. To Naruto's annoyance, tears were running down his chubby baby face. He hadn't seen Jiraiya since . . . since. . . well, it had been a while. It was annoying when you couldn't focus your eyes well enough to read a calendar.
"I swear, he's going to be a brat when he grows up," Minato said, smiling at his child. "He already takes after Kushina. I swear, he cries if I look away for more than a second sometimes."
"Speaking of Kushina," Jiraiya said, grinning, "I have news."
"Did you find her?" Minato asked, standing quickly.
"In a gambling den, up to her eyeballs in debt. Practically wiped out my wallet getting her out. You seriously, seriously owe me one for this Minato. I'm talking about somewhere tropical, with bikini clad women and mixed bathing rooms." Jiraiya stared at the ceiling, a line of drool running from the corner of his mouth.
"Don't infect my child with your lecherous ways," Minato said, scowling at him and shielding Naruto from view. "Naruto, you musn't get involved with perverts like him."
Naruto nodded sagely. "Perwerts!"
Minato stared. Jiraiya stared. The ANBU agent on the outside of the doorway stared a moment.
"DAMN YOU JIRAIYA!" Minato howled, thwacking the man on the back of his head. "Look at what you've done now! I'm going to have to record in my baby book that his first word was 'perverts'! Kushina's going to murder me!"
"It's not my fault! Most children at three months only spout gibberish! Besides, aren't you the one who said the word perverts, not me?!"
Naruto clapped, enjoying seeing the Sannin member and his father fight. It was strange, having a family. Even the loud parts were nice.
"Shut up! We're going to see Kushina now! When she wakes up, if my child says per- that word again, I'm going to let her murder you, got it?"
oOoOoO Jiraiya OoOoOo
Jiraiya shivered. Kushina was scary when she was mad. They didn't call her the Bloody Habanero for nothing. He considered the man's words. 'When' she woke up. Not 'if.' He smiled sadly, staring down at the child while Minato fussed with a child carrier. No one had ever survived tailed beast extraction in shinobi history. The fact that her body was still functioning was an unexplained miracle.
I hope Tsunade can heal you. Minato needs you here. Your son needs you here. If you didn't wake up, he would shatter like glass. Konoha can't afford to have a shattered Hokage, not with the Iwa war still ongoing.
oOoOoO Naruto, Kushina's Hospital Room OoOoOo
Seeing his mother like this was a tragedy. It was even worse since he'd seen her before, both when he was taming Kurama and when they'd returned. She was so full of vitality then. Now, she simply - lay there. She wasn't as wasted as he expected. It was probably due to her heritage as an Uzumaki. Still, the feelings in his chest made Kurama stir deep within.
"Are you sure you want your son here?" Tsunade asked, not turning to look at Minato when he entered.
"The child has a right to see his mother," Minato said firmly.
She shrugged. "It's up to you. I'm only here because Jiraiya said Kushina was on death's door."
"She's been unconscious for three months. We still don't know what's wrong with her. We desperately need your expertise." His eyes were wide and innocent, his tone pleading. Naruto stared, mentally taking notes. His dad was an expert wheedler.
She sighed, pulling on a pair of gloves. "Let me see what I can do."
Naruto strained to keep his child-like mind on track. It was difficult. He kept trying to look at the ceiling, or the pretty lights, or the birds out the window. Training his eyes on his mother was exhausting.
"That's weird," Tsunade said, lifting up Kushina's left eyelid. "There are black dots in the schlera. Some sort of parasite?"
Advocate coughed. Some sort of.
What did you do? Naruto asked him, his tone deadly serious.
She was dying, he/she/it said plaintively. Desperate measures were required.
What did you do? Naruto asked again. Kurama stirred, one eye opening.
I injected several of my cells to replenish her chakra and slowly wean her off youki. Like you'd do with a man addicted to opium. Who you locked in a cell with an IV he couldn't reach. Advocate considered. There's a better metaphor for that, I'm sure of it.
What's wrong with her now? Naruto asked, less angry this time. It was impossible to stay angry at the Advocate. People called Naruto a big kid at heart, but in comparison Advocate was a toddler.
If I had to guess, I'd say she's unconsciously restraining my cells from leaving her body. If you could just get a little closer. . . Advocate wheedled.
"Ma-ma!" Naruto pleaded, extending his arms as far as he could. Minato stared at him.
"Did he just say - mama?" The Fourth Hokage asked, numbly.
Tsunade shook her head, amused. "He's about three months old, right? It's just baby talk. Children like to string together nonsense just to test their vocal equipment. It's a good sign, though. Means he's developing at the right speed."
"He said his first word today," Minato insisted. "It was full, too. Almost correct."
"Really?" Tsunade asked, her eyebrows rising. "That's unusual. Which word?"
". . . That's not important. The point is, he said it."
". . . Have you been cursing near the baby?"
"No, damn it - I mean, no - it was Jiraiya's fault, really!"
"You let JIRAIYA near an infant?" Tsunade asked, horrified. "Are you out of your mind?"
Naruto had been set down while Tsunade and Minato argued. It was funny, really, how good he was at getting people to argue. It must have been some life skill he'd inherited from the other timeline.
Not the time to ponder. Naruto reached for the release on his child seat, pushing all the strength he could muster into pressing the latch. With a quiet click, it popped open. He shrugged his way out and crept stealthily across the table on weak baby arms and legs, behind an array of beakers, and onto a smaller desk. From there, he fell softly onto the bed next to his mother.
Nice job. Good impro. Now, touch both sides of her neck. Advocate advised.
Naruto did so. To his surprise, he could feel the woman's pulse. Baby hands, it seemed, had very sensitive nerves. He pondered this for a moment. As he did so, Advocate struck. A pulse of energy raced down his arms. If anyone had been watching, his seal would have lit up in glorious purple. Sudden heat blossomed in his chubby palms. With a strangled yelp, he fell backwards onto the covers, his hands red as if they'd been stung. The pain quickly faded.
Minato looked up at the noise, alarmed to note that his child was not only absent from his child carrier, but had apparently crawled across two tables of dangerous implements to reach his comatose wife's side. "Ahh! Naruto! What are you doing?" He cried, reaching out and scooping the child up. To his horror, the child seemed to have burned his hands on something.
Naruto teared up. He couldn't help it. This body just wanted to cry, cry cry. He would never be able to look Inari in the face again. To his horror, the tears seemed to break what fragile control Naruto had over his body, and he found himself bawling on his father's shoulder.
oOoOoO Tsunade OoOoOo
"Let me see him," Tsunade said, gently prying the child out of his bewildered father's hands. Lifting him in the air, she gave him a once over - no hazardous chemical spills, no bleeding wounds, just two very red hands. She sighed. Like mother, like son - both troublemakers. She set him down on the table, gently holding one of his hands. Green light emanated from her palm.
"Is he alright?" Minato had to ask, even though he knew it was annoying. Luckily, Tsunade had dealt with many a concerned parent in her days as a medic-nin.
"He'll be fine," Tsunade soothed, "they're just minor burns. Like a sunburn."
"Geez, I let him out of my sight for one moment, and this happens." Minato ran his hands through his hair, looking frantic.
Tsunade tuned him out as he began monologuing about the woes of fatherhood. There was something weird about the situation.
The child was out of sight for only a couple of seconds. None of the burners are on, and they're all under the cabinet. None of the chemical bottles are spilled, so it's not a liquid soluble irritant, nor are there any gaseous irritants that have been left lying around. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a chakra burn. Tsunade narrowed her eyes as the burns slowly vanished.
"There, all better," she said brightly, staring at the teary eyed child in front of her. For a moment, she thought she spotted gratitude, along with unusual intelligence. "Maybe you've got some of your father in you too, huh?"
"He does have the eyes for it," Kushina croaked from the bed.
Stunned silence followed.
"K-Kushina?" Minato gasped, rushing to her side and flinging his arms around her. "You're awake!"
"Don't talk so loud," she muttered, "I have the biggest damn headache. Were we at a bar or something last night? Why am I in the hospital?"
"Well, you sorta collapsed," Minato said, relief coloring his voice. "We weren't sure if you'd wake up."
Her eyes widened. Looking in her eyes, you could practically see her brain restarting as the memories flowed back in. "The Kyuubi! Naruto! The village! That masked man! What happened?"
"Easy there, easy, we can talk all you want, I'm not going anywhere," Minato soothed. "We have all the time in the world."
Unnoticed by anyone but his two snickering occupants, Naruto was crying again.
oOoOoO Minato OoOoOo
"So we still don't know for sure?" Minato asked Tsunade quietly, trying not to disturb his wife - or Naruto, who she was clutching to her chest.
"No. The black dots from her eyes have just vanished. It must have been a technique of some kind. Poisons don't generally work like that."
"Then, we should probably watch her a few days. Just to make sure she's alright." Minato nodded to himself. "I'll send a genin team to bring her some ramen every day for the next week. That'll cheer her up - she loves bossing genin around."
Tsunade chuckled. "That's definitely abuse of power. I'm sure of it. Besides, you aren't giving any of my patients ramen. There's too much salt in it to be anywhere near healthy."
"Naruto loves it just as much as his mother!" Minato protested. "It would be cruel to keep it from him!"
Tsunade gaped. "You're feeding him solid food already?"
"No, well, not really." Minato admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "We were eating one day and I had to talk to an ANBU for a security assessment. When I turned back around, the little rascal was drinking out of my bowl. I don't know how he got out of his high chair that fast."
"He's going to be a troublesome toddler," Tsunade agreed.
They were silent for a moment, watching the mother and child sleeping soundly for a moment.
"Thank you for coming back," Minato said, very quietly.
"From what Jiraiya said, you were going to 'drag me back yourself' if I didn't," Tsunade said, the amusement a thin veil over real anger and pain. "And in the end - you didn't really need me."
"That's not true!" Minato protested. "The moment you came back, she woke up!"
"I had nothing to do with it!" Tsunade argued right back. "It was sheer coincidence! I hadn't even begun chakra replenishment for what the tests took from her!"
"If you didn't do it, who did? There are no coincidences in the shinobi world, Tsunade."
"Start talking like that and you'll turn into Sarutobi," she muttered, looking back at the mother and child.
There are no coincidences. Chakra burns. The mother passed out on the night of his birth, then woke up when he touched her. She shook her head. Coincidence! Children don't know medical jutsu!
"It has to be a coincidence," she said, so softly even Minato couldn't hear.
oOoOoO Kushina, One Month Later, Namikaze Residence Pathway OoOoOo
"That hospital food pisses me off!" Kushina said furiously, striding up the smooth, hard road. "Tsunade and her damn vitamin-rich meals 'tebayo!"
"If it helps, I did try to sneak you some ramen," Minato said, his face still bruised from where Tsunade had punched him.
"Yeah, well, I knew there was a reason I married you," she said, mollified. "Where's Naruto?"
"He's up at the house, playing with his toys," Minato said, smiling. "I wanted you to surprise him."
"Surprise him? You act like he's all grown up! He's only three - four months old?" There was more question in her voice than she'd like. Her voice trembled a little on the numbers.
Seeing his wife's distress, Minato smiled and, with a quick step, put his arms around her. She resisted for a moment, then sank into his embrace.
"What if - what if he doesn't recognize me?" Kushina asked, miserably. "What if I've missed that part of his life?"
"It's alright," Minato said into her hair. "I took him to visit you a lot, remember? Besides, he's four months old - there's plenty of time for you two to get to know each other."
"I just - I just - what if I'd missed his first word? His first step? I almost left him without a m-mother!" Her voice broke down at the end. It was lucky, at that moment, that she'd pushed her face into his chest to cry, or she'd have seen the rather guilty look on Minato's face.
"It's alright, Kushina," he said, running his hands through her hair. "You can do this. Come on."
He led her gently up to the doorway, pausing to disable the space-time wards. If she'd been in any reasonable state of mind, she would have whacked him for turning their house into a military fortress. As it was, she made do with stepping away from him and running a hand through her hair to straighten it.
"I'm ready," she said simply. Minato nodded and opened the door.
Naruto, who had been sitting at the door with a stuffed animal, turned away from it and squinted into the bright morning light.
Kushina's eyes betrayed her, filling with tears again. She took a step forward and stopped, her arms reaching out. "N-Naruto."
Naruto's eyes filled too. "M-mama."
"Naruto!" She yelled, flinging her arms around the child and whirling him in a laughing circle. Maybe she wasn't as unknown as she thought.
oOoOoO Minato OoOoOo
She missed the shocked stare of her husband, who this time knew for a fact that it was not a pair of random syllables. The kid was saying them over and over, crying into Kushina's shoulder as though he were a tiny faucet. Then again, she wasn't much better, though doubtless her nose was running less. He'd have to wash that dress later.
Minato scowled mentally. He was turning into some sort of domestic housewife.
"See? You got to hear his first word after all," Minato said, grinning. Jiraiya, who'd wanted to be there when Kushina got back from the hospital, raised a hand as if to say something. Minato elbowed him, knocking the air out of his lungs. "His first word, got it?"
"Got it," Jiraiya wheezed, sitting down heavily on the couch. If Kushina didn't kill him, Minato probably would have just for interrupting their happy reunion.
I can ask questions later, Minato decided. For now, this is enough.
oOoOoOo
Authors Note
oOoOoOo
Too gooey? Naruto not growing fast enough? More Kurama action? Tell me what you think in your reviews, please ^_^
Also, don't expect me to update this quickly ALL the time. I just had some really good idea's is all. .
Last also, I swear, I don't have an editor yet, so if I mess something up PM me ^_^'