A/N: I'm glad you're all supporting it already. This chapter going to give a quick rundown of Fuji reminiscing a couple of scenes from Waiting For You but other than that, It'll be mostly new scenes and their present life!

Read and Review as usual to support me!

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on December 2. What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).

MysticDreamz- I sometimes tend to get a bit nervous when I really don't have more than a beginning for a story so this is my first time letting my readers help me decide every point.

Playgirl Eugene- I know how Fuji is being very fickle but decisions don't miraculously appear everyday; especially if he doesn't want to make the wrong decision.

setsuko teshiba- 'you never know what you got till it's gone' right? XD

abhorsen3- The final FINAL pairing has not been decided at all…so right now I leave it very open-ended. As for Tezuka feelings, he still has no idea what is between Ryoma and Fuji so he's in the dark about most thing s right now. As for the picnic, It may very well be interesting.

MysticBlood- Did you catch him being a jerk? You must read in-depth as well XD

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- Thanks for the compliment and hopefully you'll all love the sequel as much as the original. :)

Heart Br0ken- Well Happy Belated Birthday then! Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the picnic and Fuji's fickle thinking!

Sweet Obsidian Rain- Well like I said, the middle and end is very open for suggestion so anything may come! The prompting to swing one way or the other helps lots though… the question is…if I tweak a few things will you still stick with the pair you want to happen? (Goes evil)

Ria Sakazaki- YAY! I never meant to over infect anyone with thrill pair love but I'm always open to recruiting new people! XD It's a good thing I specialize in this pair and give a good output with mass releases to (hopefully) satisfy everyone's thrill pair hunger!

just a gal- Actually the point may now be who's hurting and who's playing… lots of things are slowly being twisted so nothing is for sure but according to a lot of people, I'm pretty good at twisting plots to confuse the readers and rethink their original thoughts!

Mayorie- Awww.. I'm glad you can call it well written. It was my first experimental story in the angst area and I actually was quite nervous writing it! LOL

The un-clichéd ending was purposely to lead everyone one way then surprisingly show it wasn't going that way at all. If you think it's already following 'Waiting For You' footsteps then you are well aware anything can happen as well. XD

Keep a open-mind for this story… you'll need it!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- The pairings is undecided at the moment but it could very well end up like that…or it could get more complicated XD

Selyn- I do try to dissect love as much as possible and try to incorporate all the angles of love into my stories! After reading this chapter, you may tell me which way you think it will flow now!

If It Makes You Happy

Rated: M

Summary: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

Chapter 2: Blindfolded

"There you two are!" Atobe said haughtily looking at Tezuka and Fuji as the greeted Ryoma and him.

"You look well…" Fuji said to Ryoma softly.

"Aa…you do as well…" Ryoma said before looking away back to Atobe.

" Monkey-king!"

"Don't call me that anymore brat!" Atobe frowned.

"Whatever, we have to go say hi to those people too."

Atobe nodded and waved Tezuka and Fuji away while following Ryoma.

Fuji knew Ryoma was avoiding him on the other hand. He knew from experience that Ryoma hated greeting people. A pang of hurt shot through Fuji's heart as he slowly followed Tezuka…if Ryoma didn't want to see him; he had no right to force Ryoma to either.

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
How it could be now or neither been (or neither been)
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Fuji felt his eyes drawn to Ryoma once more as Atobe and he neared. Tezuka highly disapproved of public affection and it was only when they were alone that Tezuka actually held his hand or held him close…otherwise they were always arms length apart from each other in public. It seemed Atobe and Ryoma were the exact opposite of them. Atobe demanded that his hand connect in someway with Ryoma and the air of possessiveness never left the atmosphere when he was around Ryoma…which was all the time.

"I want to be the one who makes you forget…" Ryoma said.

Fuji eyes snapped open as that sudden memory came to mind. How he wished Ryoma and he could've ended a bit different… or was it that he wished they began differently?

………………………………………………………………………………………..

I don't exactly remember why I jumped at the chance to forget Tezuka through Ryoma…but whatever was it that drew me into the messiness, I haven't regretted it.

"I can't promise you anything…" Fuji said, "But I'll try…"

"That's good enough for me…right now" Ryoma confirmed putting his hand over Fuji's.

That was our beginning…Ryoma fully opening and me…it sounded now as if he allowed himself to be used and I was the total bastard…taking advantage of that trust and innocence. The smiles I smiled, the ones he smiled…all of his emotions ran true but mine…mine were mirrored from outside...

­………………………………………………………………………………………..

Out of the corner of Ryoma's eye he watched Fuji in his own way. Although he listened to the conversation Atobe and his executive members talked about, he felt Fuji's gaze and unhappiness….

Wasn't he happy he was with the one he loved? Was he the cause of Fuji's unhappiness? Was it his presence?

Ryoma stared at his hand for a moment as he wondered if Fuji regretted their time...

Of course Ryoma never regretted their time…it was during that period of time that he got to love whom he wanted to love so there was no regret for Ryoma at all…


I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Come to think of it…wasn't it he the one who was used? Didn't he stand by Fuji although every logical, sane thought screamed for him to leave? Hadn't he wanted to escape only to not be able to? Hadn't he held on dearly to those beautiful hopeful lies that Fuji had the tendency to say?

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Fuji resisted the urge to tell Tezuka he wanted to leave first…after studying Ryoma for a while now he noted that Ryoma was VERY uncomfortable with him here…

"Kuni…" Fuji said after a moment.

"What is it?" Tezuka asked looking at him slightly.

"When are we leaving?" Fuji asked suppressing a look to look at Ryoma to see if his mood had lightened a bit.

"We just got here," Tezuka stated bluntly.

"I know but-"

"Do you have something to do?" Tezuka asked looking straight at Fuji.

"Not really…"

"Then stop complaining like a child." Tezuka stated before turning abruptly away.

Fuji didn't protest anymore…after all, he hated it when Tezuka treated him like a child. Actually…lately all Tezuka did was drift farther and farther from him. Sliding into the empty chair by the tables he reached for a bottle of water to drink…sadly he ended up only staring at it. Why was it that he couldn't look forward…why did he keep turning back…why was Ryoma filling his mind…slowly and painfully…


Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been (or neither been)
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Water….that brought back a very vivid memory….a memory of Ryoma and his trip to the beach. It had been his suggestion that they go but his mistake when he mistook him for Tezuka that night.

(A/n: This goes back to 'Waiting For You' I'm sure everyone remembers this scene. It'll frequently refer back to 'Waiting For You' as we get to see Fuji's PoV. I'm sure everyone will know but I'm only warning you here and nowhere else so don't get confused!)

Fuji felt a wave of guilt as the bed creaked and Ryoma got up to pull on clothes and leave the room. It wasn't until Ryoma shut the door that Fuji turned to stare at the empty spot next to him. The creases of his figure were there but the slight outline and warmth wasn't enough…

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered achingly. He had hurt him very much tonight…even when he promised to let go of Tezuka he was attached to the shadow of Tezuka…so attached he had called Tezuka's name and not Ryoma.

'BAKA' Fuji chided himself furiously. 'How could you do that to him?'

Fuji stayed in that state until Ryoma re-entered the room an hour or so later. He listened carefully as Ryoma shuffled his clothed off again and creep behind him…a slight pain hit him as he realized Ryoma was shifting away from him.

"Where'd you go?" Fuji finally said after it seemed Ryoma had settled. He felt Ryoma stiffen slightly before he answered.

"No where… just a walk…" Ryoma replied.

Fuji rolled over to reach for Ryoma. Ryoma's back was turned towards him but Fuji's brow furrowed in pain when he saw Ryoma's whole body stiffen and flinch as soon as his finger touched Ryoma's shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" Fuji whispered backing up a little. Fuji heard him bite back a sigh and face him…perhaps he was irritated now.

" I just don't want you to get cold Syuusuke… I'm still pretty chilled from the night's breeze."

A moment of silence passed between them. Relief sunk into Fuji's system as he realized that Ryoma wasn't disgusted by him or overly angry at his mistake but being careful not to make him cold. A lump formed at the base of Fuji's throat before he threw himself into Ryoma's arm and against his chilled body.

" I don't care" Fuji mumbled against Ryoma's neck. All he needed was to know and feel that Ryoma was here for him!

"I won't think of him anymore…I promise" Fuji muttered softly. In his mind he hoped Tezuka would leave, he hoped he could love the one in front of him! Before Fuji knew it though, the lump had opened and the tears he hadn't noticed were embedded in his eyes were spilling forth and down Ryoma's neck. Fuji pressed himself against Ryoma to swallow the coldness from Ryoma's skin and allowed himself to be embrace by Ryoma.

It's only thinking back now that I realized how much Ryoma swallowed his own pride to be with me…and yet I didn't choose him. His eyes that were filled with love for me, his forgiving face as I fumbled to stay sane and his quick embrace when he knew I needed to be held the most…I loved all of that about him…I loved it all…so why couldn't I tell him I loved him? Why did I condemn myself to be bound to Tezuka instead of him?


You'll always be the dream that fills my head
(Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby)
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

Then again, the next thing I remembered was in early November when Momoshiro had casually mentioned to Ryoma and me that Tezuka had injured his knee during the US Open. My mind had gone completely blank and the first thing that popped into my mind was to call him…I had forgotten I was with Ryoma once more…

"It's okay… call and check up" Ryoma had said with a smile and turned to Momoshiro to talk about random things.

Hesitant, Fuji lingered to see if Ryoma would really be okay if he dropped a quick call to Tezuka. It seemed he was totally relaxed about the whole outbursts so Fuji decided to go make that call in the bedroom. He glanced back momentarily but Ryoma's face held no emotion.

The call to Tezuka had been actually quick and short. It took about 15 minutes of asking of his health and random things. After Fuji hung up though he sat on the bed and started at the clock 2:40 in the morning… and it seemed Ryoma was still talking to Momoshiro. Laying on the bed with a sigh, Fuji felt strangely bad at having had that outburst…he was sure that showed how much he cared about his ex!

It wasn't till 3 am that Momoshiro left and Fuji listened closely as he heard Ryoma lock the door behind Momoshiro and walk towards the hall that led to their bedroom. Fuji breath caught slightly as he waited for Ryoma to enter the room…only to be disappointed that Ryoma walked back towards the living room.

Fuji wondered what he still needed to do that he wasn't coming to bed…Fuji waited patiently…that was, until the clock struck 4 and Ryoma still wasn't in their room. Tired of waiting, Fuji wandered out of their room to find a empty living room. Fuji suppressed the urge to search frantically as he examined the living room for Ryoma. Finally Fuji spotted his back in the silhouette of the rising sun against the balcony. Worried as to why Ryoma was alone, Fuji inched the balcony door opened and called out to Ryoma.

"Ryoma…"

Fuji saw him turn his head slightly before redirecting his gaze at the sunrise peeking out in the sky.

"How is he?" Ryoma asked softly.

"He's doing okay…you didn't come in to sleep…before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning and you never came in…" Fuji finished feeling a bit uncomfortable talking about Tezuka.

"I didn't want to disturb you" Ryoma said and turned around with a smile.

"Let's go in, it's cold," Ryoma said to Fuji.

Fuji merely nodded but when Ryoma brushed by him, he felt how cold Ryoma was to his touch…exactly how long had he been standing out here and why?


A part of me will always be with you...

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Laughter filled the air and Fuji glanced up to see Atobe talking with the group Tezuka had dragged them to. Ryoma was nowhere in sight and Fuji found his eyes frantically searching for his figure…searching just as he had on Christmas Eve that one year…when he had ultimately hurt Ryoma only to be forgiven…

xXx

"Ryoma!" Fuji yelled in a panic as he rushed out of the apartment and down the stairs…

"Ryoma…" Fuji yelled once more not knowing which way he had gone…Fuji turned around and saw a lone figure heading away from the complex.

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered and went running that way…he didn't care that he wasn't wearing shoes, nor the fact that he only had on a light sweater… all he cared about now was Ryoma

"RYOMA!!" Fuji yelled once more running towards the figure. The figure stopped and turned…

"Ryoma…"

It seemed both didn't know what to say so they stared at each other for a long time. It wasn't until a car drove by that snapped Ryoma out of his stupor.

"I'm sorry I disturbed your talk" Ryoma said softly after a while. Although he had said that the betrayal was faintly detectable in his voice.

"You didn't…I'm sorry Ryoma…" Fuji said. Oh god, he was feeling horrible at the moment… he felt the fear rush into his mind. Was he going to lose Ryoma here and now?

Fuji pushed the cold snow biting at his feet away from his mind as he studied Ryoma's look.

"Stop saying that!" Ryoma managed to croak out without his voice breaking from the tears he was trying to swallow back.

'But…"

"You…"Ryoma stopped when he noted that Fuji eyes were dilated in panic and he was shivering from cold.

"Idiot" Ryoma whispered as he took off his jacket and draped it over Fuji's shivering shoulders. Ryoma had sighed as well when he realized Fuji didn't have any socks or shoes either.

"I know I only burden you…" Fuji whispered when Ryoma took off his slippers and gave them to Fuji since he had on a pair of socks.

"Don't say anything else…let's go home" Ryoma said and wrapped an arm around Fuji. Slowly they walked back to their apartment in silence. Even when they were inside and both changing into new clothes, no one spoke.

I should've changed then but I didn't…I failed to realize that night that not only was it Christmas eve but the day Ryoma was born…the day I should love him more than anything.

"I know" Ryoma said with a sad smile. "Let's start again Syuusuke…after all the New Year is coming…"

" Aa" Fuji agreed. He was going to have to leave Tezuka…he had to be practical and love someone who was going to be there for him…

Wrapping his arms around Ryoma, he felt Ryoma stiffen and turn around.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked.

"Happy Birthday" Fuji said softly, "Although I didn't get you anything…"

"It doesn't matter" Ryoma said.

"It does" Fuji insisted burying his head into the side of Ryoma's neck.

"It doesn't…as long as you're here with me…"

Fuji felt tears come to his eyes, "Ryoma…"

How could he love him so unconditionally?

And still I question myself endlessly how he could put up with me for so long…

"Syuusuke!"

Fuji jerked his head up to see a frowning Tezuka.

"What?"
"Are you going to stare off into space like that or are you going to eat with the rest of us?" Tezuka asked rubbing his forehead a bit.

"I didn't realize I was drifting…" Fuji said standing. That's right…he had been looking for Ryoma…

"Hurry," Tezuka merely stated as he walked towards the rest of the people who were lining up at the buffet to eat. Fuji merely followed silently…he didn't know anyone really…and besides that point, he was only interested in seeing one person…the one person he continually hurt.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Back at home

"I'll be home late tomorrow so don't wait." Tezuka said as he walked by Fuji's studio room to go to their room to sleep.

"Aa…" Fuji merely replied before he bent to look at his pictures once more. He had to figure out the right ones to send in soon or else he might lose this opportunity!

"Are you coming to bed?" Tezuka asked coming into the room to slid a arm around Fuji's neck.

"Soon… I want to finish this first though." Fuji said with a smile.

"What's that?" Tezuka asked.

"The cover for a famous American magazine; remember me telling you if I got accepted then I can go overseas to do my photography?"

"Oh…I think its best you don't since I really don't want to relocate to the states."

"But…this opportunity-"

"Photography can be done here as well Syuusuke." Tezuka stated firmly. That meant he was going to be stubborn about the issue…

Fuji felt regret fill his heart as Tezuka kissed his forehead softly before leaving the room. He thought Tezuka would be happy for him…

Fuji sighed and swallow the pain back as he jerked open the drawer to stuff his papers in. From the corner of his eyes he caught sight of a gold metal and ring…Fuji swallowed hard as tears entered his eyes when he traced the ring.

"There's someone wait for me to win…"

xXx

Fuji frowned when he felt someone hands sliding into his pocket.

'Thief' was the first thought that flashed through his head but when he felt something heavy land in his pocket he had turned slightly to see who it was. The shock of seeing Ryoma froze him in his spot as his eyes opened in pain. Ryoma had then looked up and with a smile and tears streaming he had congratulated Fuji and stepped off.

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered as a slight pain crossed through his own heart at the thought Ryoma's face that was full of hurt and betrayal.

xXx

A single tear rolled off Fuji's cheek and fell onto the medal…it was the first time someone had gone the lengths to give him such memories and a medal…instead of fulfilling the promise though, he had betrayed the one whom loved him so much…

It's only now that I see how I destroyed him so…he gave me his love and heart but I destroyed it completely. It was as if I used him for love only then trapped him in my place.

"I'm sorry Ryoma…" Fuji whispered softly as silent tears fell on his desk. He felt as if he was all wrong right now…as if everything was wrong…

At the time…I will never forget when he looked at me with that brave smile through the tears congratulating me. He had believed me and hoped that I would see he waited for me but now…now he'd never wait for me again…I'd lost my chance.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Atobe Mansion

Atobe fumbled with the bed sheets as he watched Ryoma run a towel through his wet locks…he felt incredibly guilty and that guilt was affecting him very much right now! He was tired of keeping Ryoma blindfolded about his situation.

"Ryoma!" Atobe said suddenly.

"Hm?" Ryoma asked throwing the towel with the laundry pile before slipping on a pair of pajama pants and slipping into the bed.

"I have something to tell you…" Atobe said

"What?"

"I…" Atobe hesitated briefly before he took a breath and looked Ryoma straight in the eyes. "I've been having an affair…"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he stopped pulling the blanket up. All he could was look at Atobe…who didn't look so superior at the moment.

A/N: And finally that ends this chapter! I haven't quite decided how to proceed past this point really so throw in a few what if's for me to think on! Review and I will be updating this next time!