"Oh well who do have here?" Koyume asked in a fake bad ass voice which she failed horribly.
"Koyume that voice really doesn't mesh well with your personality…you know that right?"
"Aw~ Tsu-Chan you're so mean!" She exclaimed chomping down on a glazed doughnut begrudgingly.
"Well I mean she does have a point…" I remember chiming in whist I chuckled internally.
"You too! Really!" She finished her doughnut before wiping off her hands. "Let's just start the story."
"You really don't think welcoming him back isn't going to happen right?"
"Ah! I forgot!"
"Well then, I guess that's just as usual huh?" Tsubasa shook her head, having expected this exact thing to happen. "But welcome back, we're both really glad to see that you kept your promise and returned."
"We didn't think you'd come back!" The blond yelled from the opposite side of the room.
"Who exactly do you think I am, you girls?" I gruffly questioned them.
"Hey, I never said that."
"Anyway! Let's start chapter two!"
"Alright…" I sit myself down in the chair straight across from the fireplace. 'I wonder if it's been burning like that even after I left.' I my inner voice wondered.
"Ready?" Tsubasa asked looking over towards me.
"Ah let me just-" I tried to say something but the story began, and down I fell through the early morning air.
"I told you not to start reading to early!" Tsubasa ridiculed.
"But I wanted to get started…" Koyume pouted not so slightly. Actually it was the most noticeable part of her face.
"Just be careful…" Tsubasa then addressed me, "Are you hurt anywhere?" is the question she posed.
"I'm fine, should I be worried?"
"Well a false start can cause injury in rare circumstances." Koyume responded nonchalantly.
"Well that's no good, huh…well I'm fine, just a little tired of falling through the air."
"Well then why don't we begin?" Tsubasa motioned for Koyume to begin reading. Using some sign that was unknown to me.
I awoke with a start, the contents of my dream escaping me to quick for me to be able to pinpoint it's meaning. Finding myself left only with the sense of dread one might get when attacked by the likes of Fuura. What on earth could that dream had been about? Well, at this point I might as well just get going right? Before it nags at my brain ceaselessly. And with that goal in mind, she left for the bathroom, deciding a shower would be most necessary.
"Hey! I don't sound like this in real life! What on earth did they do to my character?"
"Well, I mean that's what happens when you don't write your own book."
"Don't blame me," she argued. "I'm not a writer…"
"Well you write the stories for your manga, so I'm not letting you get away with that one."
"You're so mean…"
Anyways, Jumping into the shower, and letting the warm water cascade down me; pooling on the ground and running into the drain just feet from where I was standing. I could stand here forever was what I had thought to myself. And most truthfully is what I would have done if it wasn't for the fact that time was lacking. Finally twisting the knob, the water stopped, and I prepared to face the bitter cold on the other side of the curtain.
And after doing so, I had dressed in the nicest clothes which I could find, that wouldn't look to flashy.
Stepping out of the room and into the hallway I made my way down the stairs before stopping at the kitchen's border. But found myself pausing once again.
You see, when you have anxiety over a certain part of your life, the other parts of your life become affected as well. To the point doing basic tasks such as speaking with others is something that scares the person in question. That is exactly what was happening here, causing me to stop and think about what I would even say.
"Oh how stupid," I had thought, "There's no reason for me to be anxious." shaking my head anxiously as I tried to get some sort of confidence to grow within myself, to no avail. "But what if the other girls notice? What if…Tsubasa notices?" But I had to push that out of my brain for the time being. Or else I wouldn't get anywhere, now would I? And with that I finally set a sock clad foot onto the cold ceramic floor.
"Koyume!" Moeta yelled out to me happily, looking up from her syrup covered waffles.
"Moeta!" I copied her, running up and pulling her into a giant hug.
"Morning Koyume, did you sleep well?" Ririka-San asked me from across the table to which of course I responded with an energetic; "Yes Ma'am!" and sat myself down at the table. But before I could begin to eat, the cause of my anxiety came up quite quickly.
"So, are you ready to turn in your manuscript?" Tsubasa asked me. Causing my food to stop moving towards me, right before I took a large bite.
"Uh…yeah"
Responding after a gulp of her orange juice, "You don't sound ready, Koyume." Ruki-San observed worriedly.
"Is something wrong? Do you feel sick?" Tsubasa once again asked, but this time whist walking towards me.
"No no! Really I'm fine!" I tried to recover, but to no avail, she could see right through me.
"You're a terrible liar," She put her forehead to mine, "you know that right?" She looked me right in the eyes for a moment. And for that moment I felt like I could have lost myself in them forever, with no complaints whatsoever. But of course even good moments must end, and Tsubasa pulled her head back away from mine before saying, "You seem fine to me," and walking back to her chair. "she doesn't a temperature, or anything else wrong that I could see."
"Are you sure you want to go turn in your manuscript? You can just stay home with me…but no you wouldn't want to stay with a failure of a manga artist. Who can't even get her own serialization, please forgive me!" Moeta rambled herself into oblivion quickly, to which all of us reacted to the best way we knew how. Most of use just cuddling her while she incoherently said, "Thank you, God" repeatedly.
"Do you think you're actually okay though?" The dorm-mother asked me. "I can cook you up a nice warm soup and we can go tomorrow." She looked around at the other girls, "They could reschedule her, right?" trying her best to get their confirmation.
"No…I need to do this today. Or else I'll just keep living my life putting things off without getting them done." I finally spoke, conjuring up as much courage as possible. Getting up I brought my plate to the sink. "Tsubasa…looked it over with me, so I'm sure I'll be okay." I remember blushing when I said her name, the memories of last night washing over me like a fountain. I've got to shake this off, she's just a girl anyway. I had thought to myself, trying to get her face out of my head.
Walking back to the kitchen I had grabbed my bag, thinking it better to just get out of there, before being around the blue haired shounen artist became the death of me.
"You're leaving early?"
"Yeah…" Shoot I need to think up an excuse, and quick, "I thought I would take the long way to the station today instead." is what I said. But in truth, I merely needed to get away as quickly as I could. I don't care how long I'd have to sit in that waiting room, I just needed to get out of there.
"Ah I see, well have a nice walk!"
"You got this."
"Good luck"
…It was small, but coming from Tsubasa, actually, all the encouragement from everybody, made me feel so happy. So, with a signature smile, and a small slight of hand, I grabbed a doughnut and left the room.
Doing a half sprint down the hall as to make sure nothing of value got broken I reached the door, to which I pulled and opened it, letting the outside in. Finally the breeze hit me for the first time that day actually calming me a little bit, believe it or not. Taking a left turn and walking down the street, one at a time I heard the voices of the elderly saying their usual morning greeting of "Ohayo" as I passed them. As well as making some comment about the weather, or stray cats, or any other thing they were thinking of at that moment. After that same thing for a good quarter mile, I reached the end of our street and turned right.
Ah taiyaki, I haven't had that in awhile. I swiveled my head toward the smell and looked at the convenience store which had opened just that past Autumn. Checking my watch I made a small frown when I saw that I didn't have the time to stop. I guess chit chatting with Anne took longer then I thought huh?
By the way let me interject here to tell you Anne is the old foreign lady at the end of our street, who always seems to find something to make conversation about, not that you cared though.
"Well I can get some on the way back right?" I had thought to myself, my mouth drooling a little bit at the thought of the sweets. But since I didn't have the time needed of course, I continued on, the train station only maybe 100 meters farther down the road.
Reaching said train station I paid my fair and got my ticket. Before finding myself standing on the platform counting minutes and thinking to myself how I could have gotten that taiyaki by now. And finally, the train came, to which I stepped into the boxcar and surveyed my options. Sit next to a drunk old man? No. What about go in the back by the college kids? I don't think so, that would give them the perfect cover to do whatever they wanted. Not like I'm good looking enough for them to try anything away. "I guess I'll just stand like I usually do." I whispered to myself, grabbing hold of one of those handle thingamajigs that were hanging from the train's roof.
And down the track we went. Although the train ride to where I was meeting my editor really was not very long at all, it sure felt as if it was. Maybe it could have been my anxiety trying to mess with my subconscious, or maybe I was just still in a zombie like state since I hadn't had any coffee that morning. But either way we soon made it to my stop, to which I walked off the train, just happy to be able to move my legs once again. And I started to make my way to the location I was suppose to meet my editor at.
My heart beating quicker the nearer I got to the cafe, I held my neatly stuffed manuscript bag over my chest. Oddly enough, I recall breaking out into a run just so I would be able to feel the wind on my face once more. Turning the corner, I bumped into a salary man who shouted a brash "watch it!" to which I bowed hurriedly and continued to run. And run, and run, and run…until I reached my intended location, The 15th and Main Cafe.
You know, it really was a quaint little place, yes they were going for a busy and bustling New York kind of look, but it reminds me of something more suited for a small Scottish town. It was right next to what had to be at least a ten story building as well, but, what could you do? Striding inside to give myself a confident look, or at least the best I could, the barista gave me a warm welcome and asked me what I would like to order.
Putting my hands on the counter and looking up excitedly at all the delicious sounding flavors I told her, "I'll take a double chocolate iced coffee!" before noticing my little stumble and regaining composure.
"That comes out to 562 yen ma'am, would you like anything else with that order?"
"Uh, no that's all."
"Understood, coming right up," She spoke with an obviously faked toothy smile, "if you would please just wait over there." She finished, motioning her hand to the counter which was to the right of us.
I thanked her and paced over to the counter slowly, grabbed my coffee when it was ready, and began my search for the brown haired young man that was my editor. Finally after walking around for a good minute I spotted him in the corner, sipping coffee and pulling a few papers out of his leather briefcase. I hurried over to him and sat down giving him as best a greeting I could muster.
"Good morning, Ken-San"
"Oh there you are, I didn't see you sit. But…" He looked at me…inquisitively. "Isn't it already past morning by now?"
"I…guess so, huh?" I responded with a nervous chuckle.
"Hey, you don't to be scared at all. I may judge work, but not people. Right?"
"Right"
"Well, now that we have that out of the way, I take it you have the manuscript in full?" Ken looked at the pink, white stitched bag curiously.
"I do, let me grab it real quick!" I spoke setting my coffee down, hassling with the bag for a good bit of time, before finally setting the manuscript on the table. "Here it is! 75 pages, all inked, drawn, and complete!"
"Ah good, now…what exactly was the direction you took this story in?" He asked me, looking over the pages quite closely. "I'm just trying to figure out what all this is suppose to be is all."
"Well, remember when we spoke last time and you said I should bring more romance into the story?"
"Yes I do, that what the publishing company was hoping for if I recall." Stopping between what I believe to be the 25th to 30th pages, his eyebrows furrowed, seemingly thinking for a moment as to what he was looking at. "Eh, if you don't mind me asking," Ken set his papers down, putting his shoulders on the table and leaning in towards me. "what was your reasoning for making the two characters kiss on the first date?" He asked in a whisper.
"I was…drawing based on how I always saw relationships play out in my head," I squirmed nervously in my seat. "I think."
"I see…"
"Is there something wrong with the manuscript Sir?"
"Well…various things truthfully. Your having the main characters kiss on the first date being just one. You see, I noticed a good few issues. If I was to look back on your first chapter, which you turned in the month before last, one might see what I believe to be much, much better art quality. The art from this chapter seems to have had a strong drop, if you were to ask my opinion. Along with that, the story really doesn't seem to go anywhere at all. I mean, I can completely understand and get behind the idea of "Beach Episodes" at the right time. But, how do I explain this correctly? The second chapter is just way to early to be doing so. Then finally, as mentioned before, the speed at which the characters romantic relationship develops is much to quick. I could probably get away with looking over the kiss if it was merely that, but, I cannot let the many other pacing mishaps by my sight unnoticed." Ken explained to me calmly. His face slowly sobering as he spoke. "And, for those reasons, I am very sad to inform you…I cannot accept this month's manuscript." He finished, looking at me with a pitiful look in his hazel eyes.
"So, that's…it?" I ask desperately, knowing what has just happened, but not at all wanting to face it.
"I am sad to say it is. Though I hope our next meeting goes better than today's." The middle aged man replied, standing up and giving a small bow, grasping his leather briefcase in his hand once again as he took his leave.
"So that really is it, huh?" I ask myself as I sit alone for a moment.
I was probably a good ten minutes before I got up from the booth I was sitting at and left that damned cafe. Stepping out and beginning to walk, I took the wrong way a good three or so times before finally letting it hit me. I had been rejected, I won't be in Manga Time this month, but instead I'll be replaced by some other artist who was lucky enough to have a half decent editor. There is no way on earth that actually just happened, I had thought to myself, my gait slowly beginning to resemble that of a drunkards. Could anyone really blame me though? In a way I was drunk, drunk on sadness. As much as people don't want to believe it, emotions are more potent then any pills you could chug.
Soon I began to cry, not a loud cry, like the ones somebody might see in a really bad Telenova or something like that. It was the kind of cry that caught you by surprise; the sort where at one moment you were fine and the next you felt a tear on your cheek. Then they just wouldn't stop.
When that began was the moment I slipped into one of those small alley ways and just crumbled. Crumbled under the weight of all the stress that had been building for such a long time. All I needed was to hear something, tell someone, to hear her, and tell her. And with that thought in mind I dialed her number, Tsubasa's number.
"Hello?" She answered, "How did it go Koyume-chan?" she asked before hearing what she must have deducted to have been my crying. "Are you okay?" "Are you there?" "Koyume?" The questions came, I could tell she was scared, but I just couldn't speak. "What…happened?"
"I-I failed…"
"What on earth do you mean you failed?"
"They rejected it…my manuscript, they said it wasn't good enough." My mind started to race after I had finally spoke. "Now I'm going to lose my spot, my serialization that I worked so hard for…"
"I'm sure everything's going to be just fine, this stuff happens from time to time. I mean, look at Kaos-Sensei."
"Abababababa!" Came a shocked sounding voice from the background. My tears finally beginning to dry.
"I…I guess so huh?"
"Exactly. You just have to take it in stride." Tsubasa responded, concerned, yet relief could be heard in her voice. "Now, where are you so we can pick up?"
"You don't have to pick me up." I responded, standing and wiping the tears from my face. "I can make it home on my own."
"Okay, If you said so…"
"I'll be okay, I promise."
"Good, just stay safe, we have doughnut's here, and I'm sure you would like one right about now." She bribed.
"Doughnuts?!"
"Yep."
"I'll be right there!" I spoke walking out of the alley I was in.
"Of course you will be." She laughed then hung up the phone.
I flipped the phone shut before throwing it in my pocket. Let's be truthful here. My thoughts were on the doughnut's at this point in time, just as anyone would expect. So, with a little cheer I threw my fist up in the air, sprinting to the train station with the first real feeling of excitement I've felt that day.
End Chapter 2: When Things Don't Go The Way We Thought.