" This is exactly why we should have told him, Janey!" Jake shouted. He was so upset. Dirk.. Dirk had never shunned him before. He didn't want anything to do with him. He didn't want him to touch him, and he wouldn't look at him! " He won't even let me explain myself!"

" Well, do you think he would've accepted the news any better if we'd told him? He was going to find out eventually, darlin'." She looked down at the small boy in her arms. Visiting hours were almost over, but being the father Jake could stay all night if he chose.

" I thought he would be more understanding! At the very least he could've heard me out!" Jake whined, tears forming in his eyes. He'd really hurt Dirk.

" Shhh, you'll wake him up." Janey gently rocked the baby gently, lulling John back to sleep. " Jake, we have to talk about somethin' else right now."

" What?" Jake asked, turning around.

" Well, about me going to university. Ya remember how I got accepted to the one back in Texas? Well, I'm enrolled for the fall." She looked up at Jake. " I'm not bringing John with me."

Jake had to take a moment to process what she was saying.

" What? You're leaving him here with me!? Don't be daft, I can't possibly-"

" You don't really have a choice, darlin'. He's your son. Besides, you weren't plannin' on doing anything big, far as I recall."

Jake was flustered. " Well.. Be that as is may, I'm totally unqualified to take care of him! You're his mother! Take him with you!"

" I'm too young to cart around a baby all the time. Besides, it's not forever. I'll be back during summers and vacations to see him. I'm still his mama." She kissed the sleeping baby on the forehead lovingly. " It's only a two year program. Ya can manage that."

Jake stood in disbelief. " You want me to take care of him? Two years in a bloody long time!"

" Like I said, I'll be back on holidays and breaks and stuff."

" Impossible! I can't raise a baby on my own!"

Janey finally lost her patience.

" Listen here, mister. I just spent the better part of ten hours pushing our baby out of my body! You knew right from the get-go you were going to have to be his dad. Don't try shrinkin' away from your responsibilities already! You have a steady job, a house, and food in the fridge every week. You might have to spend beer money on diapers, but's that's not gonna be a problem for ya, is it Mr. English? Two years is a very, very short time. After I get my degree, I have a job already lined up. He's not even gonna remember there was a time mommy wasn't around. He'll be fine, you'll be fine! There is no problem! All that's a problem is your attitude, and boy, if you wanna piss me off any more, I don't care that I'm wounded, I will kick your scrawny tanned ass from here into next week!"

Jake stood silently, looking at her pale complexion. She was tired. She was right. And even if she wasn't, he didn't have a choice. He was John's dad.

"..Promise you'll be back when you can?" He asked sheepishly.

Janey smiled. " As if I wouldn't be, Jake. He's my baby."

They both looked at the sleeping boy's face. He slept so peacefully, as if he was resting the quietest place in the world.

" Ya know," Janey sighed wistfully, " I think that what tipped him over the edge today."

" What?"

" Dirk, I mean. He had himself together until he saw John's face. John looks just like you, Jake. Dirk must've been thinking that."

Jake sighed. He really didn't like this. He missed Dirk already.

" Janey, what am I going to do?"

Janey looked at him, her blue eyes full of sadness. " Darlin' I don't know. I didn't even think he'd wanna look at me, but he seemed just fine. I think right now he just needs some time to be alone. He's had a big shock. Give him time to get over it before you try to talk to him, okay?"

Jake sighed again, and rubbed the back of his neck.

" I'm so tired. This whole day has utterly exhausted me."

Janey laughed so loudly John stirred in her arms. She quickly shoosh papped him, and he fell back to sleep. She glanced up at Jake with an amused expression. " Jake, sometimes I swear, you have nothing on your brain but you."

A nurse came in then, and asked Jake if he was staying. He looked to Janey for what she wanted. Janey told him to head home and get some rest, and think about what she said, and what to do. So he left her, and made his way down to the parking lot. It must've been around two in the morning. His car was parked in the furthest row from the building; it had been the only spot available at the time, and he'd been in a rush. The streetlamps were a dull orangey color that didn't light up the lot very well, and his car was immersed in shadow. Jake sighed, fumbling around in his khakis' pocket for his keys and then opening the door. He swung himself inside and slammed the door shut behind him.

He nearly shit his pants when he heard a soft, " Hey, Jake." from the passenger seat.

Heart jumping out of his chest, he almost screamed before he realized it was Dirk, who seemed to be sitting up like he'd been wakened. Jake realized he'd probably been sleeping; it was late and it had been a long day.

" Dirk! You nearly gave me a heart attack! What are you doing, didn't you head back close to three hours ago?"

In the dark of the car Jake couldn't see Dirk very well, and he knew Dirk wouldn't look at him even if it was light and he wasn't hiding behind shades.

" I remembered I drove here with you."

Ah, right. They had come here together, hadn't they?

" Well, I guess I'll give you a ride home then." Jake turned away and started the car, putting it in reverse and backing out easily. Traffic wasn't very busy at this time of night, and they slid into the stream silently.

Jake didn't know what to do. The tension was killing him. He needed to do something to ease it.

" Uh, Dirk? You're rather quiet, old chap." He tried to make his voice light, only to have it come out worrisome. He swallowed nervously.

Dirk didn't speak. He sat up a little straighter, sniffed and kept looking out the windshield, ignoring him.

" Dirk-"

" PLEASE." Jake jumped at the sudden loudness of Dirk's strained voice. " Please, don't talk."

Jake winced, and felt a sharp pull on his heart. " Dirk, I-"

" PLEASE." Dirk crossed him arms and looked out his window. " I don't want to hear you, right now. There is nothing you can say, Jake. Nothing. Just be quiet."

Jake watched him slouch, back towards him, in a position almost fetal-like, like he was holding himself, protecting himself. Jake looked away.

They arrived at Dirk's apartment complex, the lights on his floor bright in the dark. As soon as the car began to slow, Dirk unfastened his buckle and jumped out before Jake could even utter a word. The door slammed shut behind him. Jake rushed to follow him, his own door slamming as well. He ran after Dirk, who was already at the door.

" Dirk! Stop! Just let me-"

Dirk spun around to face him so fast Jake started. He couldn't read his expression, not that he ever could. He hat was pulled down low over his face and his shades covered his eyes. His mouth was a hard line and his jaw was stiff as his shoulders.

" What, Jake? WHAT. Could you possibly have to say to me?" Before Jake could answer, he continued, " You gonna fucking say you're sorry? Say it was a mistake? Explain to me why this whole fucking thing happened? Naw, 'course you ain't." Jake heard the slightest of tremors in Dirk's voice. " I can't stand to look at you. After all this..." He looked away, unable to finish.

Jake didn't know what to say. His mind was completely blank.

He'd never meant to. It had been an accident. He never wanted to hurt Dirk. Never.

What could he possibly say to make him understand..?

" I love you, Dirk." He whispered. It was the only thing he could think of.

Dirk froze. He turned his face towards the starry night sky. Dirk laughed a sharp, bark of a laugh.

Jake watched him as he laughed, as his shoulders shook with the effort, as the tears came from behind his dark shades, reflecting the porch light. He listened in strucken horror as the laughs turned to deep sobs.

" You sure have a funny definition of love, Jake."

Jake couldn't speak as he watched, slack jawed, Dirk turned away from him coldly, and shut the door in his face. He felt numb, shocked. He'd never expected Dirk to cry like that. He'd thought he'd be very angry, but he hadn't thought he'd..

He never thought he'd break his heart.