I do not own. Only some very lucky people own Sherlock. Can you imagine the power they have, to be able to make the actors say the things they want them to? I love Benedict Cumberbatch's voice. 3.

John. I'm in the shop. How do I make the machines work? -SH

You'll have to be specific about which machine before I can help you. -JW

The ones with the bags. They make noise. -SH

Right. Is there an on button? -JW

No. -SH

On switch then? -JW

Yes. But there's gum on it. I haven't brought my gloves. -SH

Cover your hand with your sleeve. Where are you anyways? -JW

Tesco's. We needed milk. I hope you haven't use the one in the fridge. -SH

...and there's a machine with bags there? Do you know what it does? -JW

No, but you've used it before. You shout at it at times does that make it work? -SH

Most likely not. It's just satisfying. -JW

Do we have any nicotine patches left? I need some. And I don't want to buy them here. -SH

Sherlock. No. Remember we don't do nicotine. It's bad for your health. -JW

Do hush John. Look in the fridge for me. I've been keeping them there. -SH

Well, they're gone now. -JW

I shall buy some more and hide them from you. -SH

I will find them. You know I will. -JW

John. You're a smart man. You know you will never find them. By the way the woman on the next floor wants to sleep with you. I wouldn't advise it. -SH

Agreed. -JW

How did you know? -JW

She now buys the same teabags as you. Nobody else buys them, they are foul. She's been buying them since you spilled them all over the stairs. -SH

... She wants to sleep with me because she likes good tea? Alright then. -JW

You fool. She's establishing a connection. -SH

Sherlock. Tea isn't much of a connection. Only you would've seen that. -JW

She also told Mrs. Hudson you have a "sweet bum". -SH

Oh. Right. Speaking from a strictly outside point of view, would most people say that she is correct? -JW

Yes. -SH

Well, that was a major boost to my self-confidence. Thank you. -JW

Don't get cocky. You dressed like a farmer. -SH

John, the machine is making a noise. -SH

Hey, you like my sweaters. I can hide a gun on me. It's useful. I don't know what to do, try yelling at it. -JW

You look like a farmer. And I know you are thinking about buying another one. I deleted it from your Amazon basket for you. SH

You did what?! I'll have you know that I can dress anyway I want. -JW

No. You can't. -SH

Yes. Sherlock. I can. You aren't my mum. -JW

I might as well be your mum. -SH

I'm glad you aren't my mum. -JW

So am I. I'll just leave that to Mrs. Hudson. -SH

She's not my mother either. She's my landlady. -JW

She washes your pants. She says to tell you that she put them on boil wash by accident. -SH

...fine. She may wash my clothes sometimes. That proves nothing. -JW

She also doesn't like it when you bring home girls. SH

So? J-W

Neither do I. SH

Would you care to explain why you hate females so much? -JW

Not females, John. Just the ones you pick out. -SH

But WHY? -JW

They make the place look untidy and they are a waste if your time. -SH

If this is about the one that touched your skull, that's only one female not the whole slew of them and not every one of them will do that... Just that one. -JW

The last one you brought home threw out the toes I was keeping in the butter dish. -SH

That's a normal reaction from people when they find toes, Sherlock. You can't blame her. -JW

I have given up on the machine. I will buy my patches elsewhere. -SH

You shouldn't be buying the patches anyways. -JW

You're right. -SH

Why are you actually agreeing with me? -JW

I'm going to buy cigarettes. -SH

No. Those are bad for breathing. -JW

But good for thinking. -SH

What am I going to do with you? -JW

Johnlock tendencies. It's there if you squint.