Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Recess.

They creep up quietly to a secluded area of the playground that is very shadowy. They are nearing the forest. Trees are providing shade here.

Randall puts a finger to his lips signifying for them to stay quiet. They pass several trees when they come across a very recognizable student sitting awkwardly on a large rock just staring straight ahead breathing shakily. He seems to be wobbling a bit.

"Butch?" T.J. questions, forgetting to be quiet.

Butch gasps and falls off the rock with a thud. He puts his hands behind him and pulls himself up, "What are you guys doing here?! Get out of here!" His voice is pitched with fear.

"Now hold on Butch." T.J. tells him cautiously holding up his hands. "We need to speak with you."

"W-why? You didn't see nothing!" Butch is getting defensive. He swiftly stands up. So quickly, in fact, something metal falls to the ground. Something that has blood on it.

T.J. and Randall look down at it. "What is that?" T.J. asks, getting worried. He is not liking where this is going.

Butch picks it up and puts it in his pocket. "Nothing at all. You didn't see anything!"

Randall finds his voice, "I saw what you did yesterday. Last recess."

Butch gets angry, "You better not had tattled on me!"

"I didn't!" Randall yells in defense. "I swear! I didn't even tell T.J.!"

Butch slowly looks at T.J. "Teej, you don't know anything?"

T.J. only looks back at him. "You can get in a lot of trouble having a knife on school grounds. You're a kid! What are you doing with one? You weren't hunting animals were you?"

"What?! No! I wasn't!" He yells defiantly.

"He's telling the truth." Randall speaks unusually softly.

"Then can someone please tell me what's going on?!" T.J. is starting to yell.

Butch looks away and sits back down on his rock. Randall just stands there not saying a word... perhaps too scared to.

"I knew it. I knew it!" Butch screams. "I knew I'd get caught! I'm such a screw-up! Nothing ever goes right for me! Argh!" Butch breaks down sobbing. Neither Randall nor T.J. were prepared for that to happen, but both knew well enough to let him cry until he was done. After a couple minutes Butch had quieted down and was just sniffling.

"Stay here" T.J. instructs Randall. T.J. walks up to Butch and, as he did earlier with Randall, sits down next to him. "I really think whatever this is you should tell a teacher or some adult about it. Maybe Miss Finster or-"

"No" Butch interjects forcefully. His next words are shaky and weak, "I can't."

"Can you tell me?" T.J. asks softly motioning his hands to himself.

Butch gives a long sigh before beginning. "Something happened a month ago. It happened to me." T.J. doesn't interrupt. He just waited patiently for him to continue. Randall was a few feet away, now sitting down against a tree, also listening.

"My big brother Joey got into a big accident and got thrown into jail for one night. My parents were furious. They yelled and yelled at him and at each other saying "What have we done wrong?" and "We raised you better than this!". Three days later Joey... he..." Butch hesitates, "He got stabbed. By some punk from his High School who was responsible for him getting in prison in the first place!" His pitch got louder as he went on. He clenches his fists and trembles in anger. T.J. and Randall are stunned. They don't know what to make of this. "The punk" he spats out the word, "is waiting for a hearing about if he's innocent" he says childishly, "and if he is how long his prison sentence will be." He sighs again to calm himself. "Anyways, this whole stinkin' month has been a mess! Just a big hellhole!" T.J. widens his eyes at his words. "Things were going just fine until all this happened! And you know what's worse?!" he looks at T.J. "I started cutting myself!"

A full minute passes. The only sound is Butch's heavy breathing, which is still uneven.

"Butch, I-" T.J. starts.

"No! I don't want to hear none of it! Just go ahead and have your buddy Randall here rat me out!" tears start falling from his angry eyes. "Just leave me here to be taken away!"

"I'm not going to rat you out." Randall speaks up softly, but loud enough to be heard by the two.

Butch looks at him in shock, "You... you're not?"

"If I wanted to I would've done it yesterday."

"I'm still kind of confused." T.J. says slowly.

"What do you mean?" Butch asks, still angry.

"What exactly were you doing? With the knife?" Poor T.J. can't quite grasp it.

Butch doesn't answer.

Randall, although not fulling understanding it either, answers for him, "T.J., that knife... he was using it on himself." T.J. still looks confused. "On his arms. He was cutting into his arms."

T.J.'s is in absolute shock as he looks back at Butch, "You were..." his mouth agape he doesn't finish. He instantly looks down at Butch's arms, which are covered with the long sleeves of his black jacket.

Butch grimaces following his eyes, "You want to see, don't you?" He asks ashamed. His anger gone now embarrassment instead. He'd almost forgotten the rant he just had only a few moments ago. T.J.'s silence tells him he does. Randall creeps up to them to get a closer look, very curious.

"It ain't pretty" is all Butch says raspingly as he takes a hold of the sleeve of his left arm (as T.J. is sitting to his left) and gently pulls it up to his elbow. In neat little rows are numerous cuts. Some old and fading, a few quite very new and still bleeding. The inside of his sleeve, as it turns out, is soaked with blood.

It takes a while for either boy seeing Butch's arm to find his voice. T.J. is the first to speak, "Why did you do this?"

"Doesn't that hurt?" Randall squeaks. His mouth is wide open as he sees the arm with closer inspection this time. It's much worse than he imagined. Then again, Butch had given it more cuts today to add to the disfigurement.

"I really don't know okay!" He stands up, the sleeve still pulled up. A few drops of blood fall to the ground. "I just didn't know what else to do! My parents have been completely ignoring me for weeks now! They just keep yelling and crying to each other and I'm left by myself!" He bends down to the ground, sobbing, "I miss my brother!!"

He speaks between his sobs, "He'd be... so.... ashamed of me... right now!... I'm not... the same... anymore!... I don't... know... what to do!"

T.J. says the only thing that comes to mind, "We're here for you, man." He puts a comforting hand on Butch's shoulder.

Thanks for reading.