©Blood of Sephiroth (formally Paws) 2001

Beers all around!

Okay, just to keep you lot at Squaresoft happy, I don't own squat. I couldn't, unless you happen to be selling Final Fantasy for ten quid ;-) so please don't sue me Mr Nice Squaresoft person. Read on and enjoy! Ignore the odd waffle I tend to do at the beginning of my fics (weel, I don't know about you, but writing makes me hungry, and there's nothing like a quick waffle to keep you going, hmmm?)

Chapter 2: O-kay.....Now What?

The pub erupted into furious clapping as they staggered down the steps. Cloud and Sephiroth plunked down in their seats, and the barman brought them a complimentry beer each.

The landlord got up onto the platform, wiping the sweat off of his red face with a dirty cloth.

'Now that we've had all the volenteers,' Sephiroth snorted at this, 'we can take our votes. As we know, the prize is a luxury stay in Kalm!' Cheers all round as the rest of the 'volenteers' suddenly looked constipated with hope while Cloud and Sephiroth calmly drank their beer.

Cloud and Sephiroth were talking quietly as the landlord requested show of hand etc. for the best singers. Sephiroth looked up as the pub, once again, erupted into cheers. His eyes widened as he tugged on Cloud's sleeve.

'Uh, Cloud....'

'Wha....shit....'

The whole pub was looking at them, at least those who hadn't drunk themselves under the table, and clapping wildly as the spotlight landed on them.

'Nonononono....'

The landlord, smiling nervously as he walked over to the two, gave them two tickets for a week in Kalm. Sephiroth and Cloud exited as soon as they could, staggering out into the street as the sun came up.

'Freaky....' Sephiroth murmered as he and Cloud slid to the pavement.

'Excuse me.'

Sephiroth opened one green eye and glared at the man in a dark suit, a camera around his neck. 'G'away.' He closed his eye again.

'Um....no.'

This time Cloud looked up.

'What is it?' He demanded in a gruff voice, the effects of the beer slowly pulling themselves out of his Mako-enhanced bloodstream.

'I'm....ah....a talent spotter.' Cloud and Sephiroth were up and running in five seconds flat, to no avail as the guy pulled out a Materia and cast Stop on them. 'And you are coming with me.' He finished as two thugs came and divested them of their weapons. The talent spotter released Cloud and Sephiroth from the Stop spell, and they followed him, shoulders slumped, the alcohol forced out of their systems by the spell....

They walked to a van where the guys forced them into the back and came and sat with them.

'Okay, let's go.' The talent spotter said. As the van rumbled slowly out of the slums, the man turned to Cloud and Sephiroth.

'I am André De Plume, the great musician. I have trained up some of the most wonderful singers we have today, and when I heard you two today....well, I knew you were meant to be an act. And who are you two?' André finished.

'Cloud Strife, saviour of the planet from Meteor and this bloke here.' He replied, indicating Sephiroth.

'Sephiroth, all-round meglomaniac, called Meteor and is the hated enemy of Cloud Strife. And would like his sword back.' Sephiroth finished, crossing his arms and pouting like a kid. His eyes practicully radiated annoyence.

'Splendid!' André clapped his hands together. The van screeched to a stop. André signalled the two to get out, and Cloud and Sephiroth clambered out of the van to see that they had arrived in Kalm.

André led the way to a large house, muttering to himself. Sephiroth heard 'splendid' and 'money' repeated several times.

As they entered into the house, Cloud and Sephiroth both looked around in awe. Somehow the guy had managed to fit in a theatre, changing rooms and all, into a normal five-bedroom house. Mind you, the house did extend back for quite a ways.

André then shooed them into a dressing room, telling them to wait for a while as he had to go get some friends out of bed.

'Now what?' Sephiroth grumbled to Cloud. They had both been given their swords back, which was a relief, but it hadn't occured to the two of them that they could bust out of here.

Blood of Sephiroth: Sorry the cahpters are still a little short! They are getting there, tho.... So what's going to happen to our fav pair? Will the relentless André and his goons steal all their privacy? Or will it occur to the blockheads that they can carve André a new belly button and then raise the body count by getting the hell out of there? Stay chooned for the next chapter!

(Leaves the recording studio)

Sephiroth: And she's from my blood? Hojo! Get your ass here now! Who have you been putting Mummydear and me into now?! *Hefts big kick-ass seven foot long sword*

Hojo: N-No-one, Sephiroth....t-take it easy now, son....

Sephiroth: I AM NOT YOUR SON!!!! ARRRRHHH!!!! *kicks Hojo's white ass*

Cloud: *looking over to them both and shaking his head* Hey! Guys! Get a life! The game's over!

Sephiroth: *looks up from biting a hole in Hojo's science coat* Arrrgh! At least I don't look like a girl!!! Even *shudders* Blood of Sephiroth thinks you do!

Blood of Sephiroth: OH I SO DO NOT YOU ARE DEAD SEPHIROTH!!!!!!! *Whole gang fights*

Beeeeep: We are interrupting this program as it appears that the author of said fanfic, that is, Blood of Sephiroth, seems to have gone insane. We apologise for any inconvieniance. The trained medical staff are moving in now with tranquilizers. Have a nice day, and be a responsible reader and review!

Blood of Sephiroth: And tell me if you want to see any more end scenes like this or if it is totally senseless! Thank you! *Falls over as dart hits her arm*