I woke up, tossing and turning. I haven't slept a good night since the convention and when Jellal caught me and Juvia. I was drunk and the music was too loud. Juvia was just there. She was basically asking for it. I can't believe I slept with her or almost did. What's the difference? Jellal probably put the pieces together and assumed what happened. He's probably really confused about everything. I sure would be.

I never really thought of myself as being gay, but I knew I was different. I came out to the guild when I turned 19, and Loke came out a year before. When we were hanging out together a few days before my birthday, Loke told me that he would come out to the guild the next day. Everyone accepted Loke, and I hoped they would accept me too. Loke living so freely by everyone gave me the courage to come out to the guild a year later.

The day I came out, Lucy and Natsu just got back from their honeymoon, and everyone was at the guild celebrating the newlywed couple. I decided that that was my chance. I needed to get it off my chest. So after Master Makarov made a toast and people were going around saying things about themselves that they don't really share right off the bat. When it came to be my turn to tell everyone my "secret", I stood up and said, "I am gay. I want you to all accept me for who I am. This doesn't make me any less or any more of one of you guys. This is what makes me me. I won't be ashamed of who I am, especially because you guys are all practically my family." And then after that came silence. Silence seemed like it was being dragged on and on like a little kid dreading to go to school and pulling on their parents' pant leg.

I didn't know what people would say or do. I was mostly scared because they would treat me differently. Lucy was the first person to do any moves or make any noise. She let go of Natsu's hand and walked towards me with a warm smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She came over and hugged me. A nice big hug that you get from a good friend who's known you front and back. She retreated back to Natsu's embrace, and said in her sweet voice, "We'll still love you Gray. It doesn't matter to us. That's what makes you unique and we love you Gray. There's nothing you can do to push us away. We'll always be there for you because we're a family."

That cued everyone to start piping in words of encouragement and support. I felt way better after I told everyone. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I instantly felt better about myself as a person. Everyone supported me the first months or so, but then the word got out across Fiore. People put my name in the gossip sections of the paper and their conversations over brunch. I got what I wanted from my family, but everyone else was disapproving of me.

I would get hate emails and texts telling me about how I should live my life and crap like that. It almost drove me over the edge, but Loke was there. He knew about the bad press and was there for me. He helped me get through the time of self hate and long nights when the emails would just keep popping up everywhere.

Loke taught me how to look past it and not give a damn what others think because I can be who I want. Loke really helped me during that time. And ever since then, we were always close. We would hang out at the park, go to parties, go on quests together, and spend every weekend together. One night, when we were traveling, it was really cold. So cold, we slept under the same blankets and were close enough to touch. I could feel the blood and nervousness running through me and I guess Loke could feel it too. Next thing I know, we're kissing and taking off each other's clothes and I didn't feel so cold anymore. Loke was the light I was missing in my life. I felt whole and like the best me that I could possibly be. Since then, we were boyfriend and boyfriend, until I screwed up with Juvia.