Xander came to, tied to a chair in the center of a chalk diagram in a parking garage.
"It's always important to double-check," the Mayor said cheerfully, "both your magic circles and your assumptions." He spoke a word of power and the chalk lit up with a soft blue glow, highlighting the lighter colors the Mayor, Faith, and Dawn were wearing.
"Why'd you come after me?" Faith demanded.
Xander found himself answering without thinking about it, "I can't just let you get killed when I have a chance to save you."
Faith looked surprised and confused, turning to the Mayor with a question in her eyes.
"What is the threat to Faith?" the Mayor demanded.
"The Infinity Orb was stolen," Xander replied.
"I didn't take shit!" Faith quickly defended herself.
"Oh dear," the Mayor said, looking worried. "How much time do we have?"
"I don't know, I was shot with a tranq pistol," Xander replied.
"When is the apocalypse due?" the Mayor asked.
"Midnight most places, ten to ten thirty here," Xander replied.
"Apocalypse?!" Dawn squeaked out.
"All of the dead humans, and possibly some of the higher primates, are going to rise and devour the living," Xander replied.
Dawn clung to a white faced Faith.
"How can we stop it?" Faith demanded.
"We can't," the Mayor answered before Xander could. "As long as the Orb of Infinity remained in place, all was well, but the moment it's stolen… it doesn't matter if it's returned or not, the covenant with Anubis is broken."
"How are you going to save me from that?!" Faith asked in disbelief.
"By taking you to the barge we rented so we could wait out the apocalypse at sea," Xander replied.
"A barge?" the Mayor questioned.
"A barge a third the size of a football field connected to two tug boats," Xander answered, unable to stop himself. "Using U-hauls to help beg, borrow, and steal supplies we should be safe and reasonably comfortable during the death of most of humanity."
"Most?" the Mayor asked.
"We spread the word of what we were going to do to the council and told the Doomsday preppers that the government had accidentally released a bio weapon," Xander replied, his mind running over the details. "There are well over a thousand people who's preparations for various end of the world scenarios will keep them safe for the six to nine months needed."
"Six to nine months?" Faith asked.
"Insects and rot will destroy the zombies," Xander replied.
"That is true," the Mayor agreed. "Humanity will rise again, though we are looking at, at least a century or more before the population gets remotely large enough for my purposes."
"What do we do?" Faith asked the Mayor.
"Can you save them?" the Mayor asked Xander.
"Yes," Xander replied, "if I haven't been unconscious too long, as I still need to gather supplies."
"It's only been half an hour," Dawn said.
"Yes, I can save them," Xander said.
"What about you?" Faith demanded. "They may let me on board, but I think they'll draw the line at letting you even near them."
"Always have an exit plan, my dear," the Mayor said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I have a way to save myself, but I hadn't planned on you or your sister, so let's find a way to save you both and not worry about me, alright?"
"Alright," Faith said, relieved.
"Will you save them?" the Mayor asked.
"Yes," Xander replied.
"Great," Faith said sourly, "we're putting our lives in the hands of the donut fetcher."
The Mayor chuckled. "My dear Faith, you must never judge a book by its cover, well hardly ever. If he was a simple high school student he wouldn't be involved in Summer's little group."
Faith gave Xander a skeptical once over. "I'd say this is one of the hardly ever cases."
"Let's find out," the Mayor said. "What's your most impressive achievements?" he asked Xander.
"I've prevented the Hellmouth opening by facing down a gang of zombies, figured out how to destroy the Judge, split the Slayer line, and broke a true prophecy," Xander replied.
"Surprised knocking boots with a Slayer wasn't included in there," Faith said, trying to cover her surprise.
"I don't consider being forced to have sex a great achievement," Xander replied.
Dawn and the Mayor both turned to stare at Faith.
"Whoa! Hold the phone!" Faith exclaimed. "I did not force him!"
"What happened?" Dawn asked Xander.
"After saving her life and getting her back to her motel room, she yanked me inside and forcibly stripped me-" Xander began.
"You could have said no and that hardon sure as hell wasn't saying no!" Faith interrupted.
"You would have taken my refusal as a personal rejection, caused severe injuries to me in response, and been forced to dispose of me to cover for yourself," Xander replied.
"I'd never!" Faith yelled looking pale and upset.
"Why are you so sure about this?" the Mayor asked.
"Between dealing with several Slayers and being possessed by a Primal Spirit, I have a good grasp on how Slayers react," Xander explained, "adding in Faith's 'want, take, have' philosophy just underlines it."
"Just because he believes it doesn't mean it's true," Faith defended weakly.
"So you only went along with it because of fear?" Dawn asked.
"Not only, just mostly," Xander replied.
"What did you expect to happen?" Faith demanded.
"I wanted someone to tell me I did well, possibly a small gesture of affection like a hug," he replied. "What I expected was a simple nod and being told goodbye."
"Spell's weakening," the Mayor noted as the light the chalk emitted flickered. "What will you do if I release you?"
"I will take the girls, request as much cash as possible, and continue with the plan," Xander replied.
"You're saving us for money?" Dawn asked.
"No, money is going to be worthless shortly," Xander replied. "The money is to help gather supplies as quickly as possible."
The Mayor broke the circle with his foot, causing the sputtering light the chalk was giving off to wink out. "Let's get you out of these ropes."
"Thanks," Xander said as he stood up. "Money and tranq gun please."
"I'll send somebody along for the money, but why the tranq gun, now that Faith is willing to go along with it?" the Mayor asked.
"If a clerk gives me too much trouble or I don't have the money to cover what I need, I'm going to dart them and continue on," Xander replied.
"You're just going to rob them?" Faith asked, still trying to fit her head around his lawless behavior.
"Yes," Xander said bluntly. "Zombies aren't going to need it and everyone here is as good as dead."
"Do you have a list of supplies you need?" the Mayor asked cheerfully.
Xander passed him his list.
"This is mostly store names and notes to grab large amounts of certain things," the Mayor said.
"We have space and can't stop in to pick up anything we run short of, so I was going to grab everything possible," Xander explained. "When I said loot, I meant it. I don't have time to be more exact."
"Take care of your family and my girls, I'll handle your list," the Mayor told him.
"That would help," Xander said honestly. "A refer truck with frozen foods and ice cream wouldn't go amiss either, just have them drive everything aboard and leave the trucks."
The Mayor turned to Faith and Dawn. "I wish we had more time together, but maybe this is for the best. Your souls will certainly be cleaner hanging around them. No tears now, save those for later in private." The girls hugged him and he patted their backs. "You've both made me very proud. Off you go now."
"I need my tranq gun," Xander told the pair as the Mayor turned and walked off.
"The boss if filling your list," Faith said. "Not seeing why you need it."
"I may have to tranq Willow when she sees you," Xander told her.
"What about Buffy?" Faith asked.
"No 'may' about it," Xander said.
Dawn pulled the pistol out of her jacket pocket, reluctant to let it go.
"Keep it for now," Xander said, "we need to load up the truck with all your stuff and go tell my parents what's going on."
"Why aren't you more upset?" Faith asked as Xander turned and headed for the exit.
"I don't have time to be upset," Xander replied. "I will have months to whine and cry later, for now I have shit to do."
"I don't mean about the zombies," Faith said as she followed him.
"There was an aboriginal tribe that used to shoot those that betrayed the tribe with a needle made of bone," he said as they climbed down the stairs. "It wasn't poisoned, but any member of that tribe that was shot with it would instantly drop dead."
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Faith demanded.
"The tribe said if you got shot with the needle you'd die, they said it enough that everyone believed it and would actually die when shot with it," Xander said, "but the needle caused very little damage."
"Still not getting it," Faith said.
"Our tribe hasn't told me I should be emotionally damaged and instead just drops a bunch of macho crap on me saying I should have enjoyed it more," Xander explained, "so I am more upset at being kicked out and ignored than the sex itself."
"I… I don't know what to say to that," Faith admitted. "I mean it's fucked up… but to your advantage?"
Xander shrugged. "All I know is we are all fucked up in different ways, learn what they are and avoid making them worse."
"So… we're cool?" faith asked.
"We are a long way from cool, you've also tried to strangle me to death and kill my friends," Xander replied, "but that doesn't matter right now. What matters is you personally have done your best to save the world and none of the bad stuff you've done comes close to the amount of good done by doing that."
They exited the ground floor and saw a stream of vampires packing Faith and Dawn's apartment into Xander's stolen box truck.
"Good, this saves time," Xander said. "Next my parents, then we pack my stuff, which isn't much, just a bed, dresser, and clothes along with some odds and ends."
"Why all the furniture?" Dawn asked.
"So we can set up our own apartments in the back of the trucks," Xander explained. "Sleeping on the deck of the barge would get old fast and we have the room so this is a fast and easy way to give us at least a little comfort."
"Couldn't we just grab an RV?" Dawn asked.
Xander turned to Dawn, who began to look nervous, worried that she'd said something stupid as he just stared at her for a moment. "Any other ideas you have while we're doing this I want to hear." He opened the door and saw the keys were still in the ignition. "As soon as this is loaded, we'll drop it off on the barge and go grab a couple of RVs."
Dawn beamed, making Faith forget her own problems for the moment.
"Don't forget the can opener," Dawn said. "I've seen a couple of movies where they got the goods but no way to get to them."
"Housewares," Xander said. "We're going to need kitchen and bathroom stuff. Plates and silverware so we aren't just eating straight out of cans."
"What about fresh water?" Faith asked.
"I'll have Giles order some water tanks." Xander said. "We're going to have to build a filtration system to keep them filled, but we don't have to worry about that for a couple of months."
"Fuel and generators?" Dawn asked.
"Generators yes, fuel… Going to have to steal a fuel truck," Xander said. "I'll wait till the panic hits, since the Mayor is taking care of so much I've got time."
"Do you know how to hotwire a truck?" Faith asked.
"No," Xander admitted.
"Then 'we' will steal the fuel truck," Faith said.
"I am so glad I decided to kidnap you," Xander said with a grin, "between the two of you, I feel a lot better about this."
Faith recognized the look in Dawn's eyes and considered warning Xander before deciding that while she did owe him, she owed her sister more.
Typing by: Abyssal Angel
TN: How are they going to deal with modern day pirates I wonder… There would be other survivors who make it onto boats, and they're not going to be as well prepared, so they'll have to turn to looting the other survivors, and a giant barge makes a tempting target. While any boarders would get a nasty surprise when it comes to melee, the Scoobies aren't exactly equipped to deal with the guns they're bound to face, especially if they do a few strafing runs to subdue the target before boarding, and take out some of the heaviest hitters before it even enters a melee.