So I was reading Inuyasha fanfics and Kikyou came up and I get really pissed at her all the time, because she's a zombie bitch-whore…in my mind, at least. Anyway, so I wanted to bitch at her, and I decided to write this, because it's been a while since I've written anything. So here you go: Inuyasha IMs!!
BTW, this is my first nonsensical fic, so please pretend this is all logical. Don't I have the right to write one completely fucked up fic? Everyone else does. I WANNA DO IT TOOOOOO!!
Ehem. I'm so sorry.
Enjoy!
-Forbala-
WARNINGS: joking references to rape; mentions of sex, mud pits, cat fights, and lechers/perverts; gay frog; sexy men; hot women; evil sex god with gorgeous silver hair and OMFG muscles and an amAHzingly huge pen—er…sword….
DISCLAIMER: I run up to a vending machine with the label RIGHTS TO SEXY ANIME CHARACTERS AND THEIR ANIME, pop in several quarters, and stab the button for Sesshoumaru. Sadly, I push it so hard and so many times that it smashes into thousands of tiny pieces!! Uwaaaaaah!! (And therein lies your sex ed for the week! Be gentle or you'll break your "toys" . )
CHAPTER ONE: AND SO IT BEGINS
I'm not sure how many of these people will show up, but I'm feeling the need to create SNs for everybody. Here goes!
Screennames:
Kagome: backtothefuture101
Inuyasha: inuyashakicksASS
Kikyou: GiveMeYourSoul
Sesshoumaru: LordoftheWest
Miroku: youshouldletmeloveyou
Sango: lovelorndemonslayer
Shippou: kitsunekunnumbah1
Rin: PrincessFlowers
Jaken: gayfrog
Naraku: ixholdxyourxheartxinxmyxhand
Kagura: FreedomIsInTheDistance
Kouga: wolvesdoITbetter
xXx
Backtothefuture101 has just signed on.
InuyashakicksASS has just signed on.
xXx
Backtothefuture101: hey inuyasha! wats up?
InuyashakicksASS: you talk weird. did you get a head injury or something?
Backtothefuture101: no, its txt talk. nvrmind. wat r u doing?
InuyashakicksASS: i'm sitting right beside you but using some weirdass box to talk to you. why are we doing this again?
Backtothefuture101: bcuz its fun!!
xXx
GiveMeYourSoul has just signed on.
xXx
GiveMeYourSoul: how am i here?
Backtothefuture101: don't ask. fanfiction writers have no sense of logic.
GiveMeYourSoul: i'll pretend to understand that.
Backtothefuture101: thank u vry much
InuyashakicksASS: kikyou! hi!
GiveMeYourSoul: oh, inuyasha! i didn't know you were here! you should come over to my place so i can drag you to hell—er, i mean…KISS YOU!
InuyashakicksASS: 'kay, i'll be right there!!
(Off-screen: Inuyasha stands and is about to sprint his way over to Kikyou's non-existent apartment to be sucked into hell—er, kissed! Eheh. Yeah….
But Kagome screams "SIT!!" nice and loud and Inuyasha faceplants the floor of the cyber café they are sitting in. Please pretend this makes an ounce of sense. Now back to the computers.)
InuyashakicksASS: ehm…actually, i can't make it just now.
GiveMeYourSoul: kagome, stop controlling him like that! he loves ME! you two aren't even from the same era!!
Backtothefuture101: shut up, zombie whore!! its not like u can talk! ur DEAD!! :(
GiveMeYourSoul: you wear skirts that barely cover your ass! you're the whore!
Backtothefuture101: ok, i'll admit tht it makes no sense that i wear modern clothes n feudal japan n tht i havnt bin stond 4 indecency. but thts not th pt. th pt is tht ur a SKANK HAG whos 2x his age n tryn 2 kill inuyasha! wat kinda luv izzat?? n need i remind u tht ur DEAD??
GiveMeYourSoul: i'm still way more powerful. and inuyasha doesn't have to save me all the time!
InuyashakicksASS: she's got a point there, kagome.
Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SHUT UP INUYASHA AND BUTT OUT!!
InuyashakicksASS: eep O.O -runs away-
xXx
Youshouldletmeloveyou has just signed on.
xXx
Youshouldletmeloveyou: hey, girls…and inuyasha. hows it hangin? :D
InuyashakicksASS: i'm afraid miroku. hide me. PLEASE.
Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SHUT UP INUYASHA!!
Youshouldletmeloveyou: oh shit!! am i missing a cat fight? should i get the mud pit??
Lovelorndemonslayer: you're the biggest lecher EVER!!
Youshouldletmeloveyou: ah! sango! nice to see you, my LOVE 333
Lovelorndemonslayer: prove it
Youshouldletmeloveyou: ehhhhhheheh "
WolvesdoITbetter: hey kagome! wanna go have sex?? -wiggly eyebrows-
Backtothefuture101: O.O -eyes burn out-
Youshouldletmeloveyou: you are my hero!! XD
Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: PERVERT!!
InuyashakicksASS: YOU GODDAMM INBRED FLEABITTEN WOLF!! I'LL KILL YOU!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!! I'LL CIRCUMCIZE YOU RIGHT NOW—IF I CAN FIND ANYTHING TO CUT OFF XP
WolvesdoITbetter: notice the name mutt. you'll find plenty. so waddaya say kagome? yes?? yes??
Backtothefuture101: listen kouga. ur hott. rly hott. DAMN ur hott!!
WolvesdoITbetter: yesssss
InuyashakicksASS: kagome!! :"(
Backtothefuture101: eh right!! anyway!! sry kouga but take a hike
WolvesdoITbetter: awwww man!! :"(
xXx
LordoftheWest has just signed on.
Gayfrogservant has just signed on.
PrincessFlowers has just signed on.
xXx
LordoftheWest: i'm off to slaughter thousands and rape millions of screaming fangirls
Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: O.O WAIT FOR USSSSS!! RAPE UUUUUUS!!
Gayfrog: yaaaah!! lord sesshykins!! wait up!! RAPE ME FIRST, DAMMIT!!
All but Jaken: -.-" (massive sweatdrop) this addition of Jaken wanting rape is curtosy of shippourinKIMS11
PrincessFlowers: wait for me mr. lord/daddy/lover man!!
InuyashakicksASS: that bitch of a writer is going to make us gay for a few seconds so the yaoi otaku fangirls can have their squealing. dammit
InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: WAIT FOR US!! SODOMIZE US SESSHY!!
xXx
YaoiOtakuFangirls have just signed on en masse.
ForbalaWriterGodSan has just signed on.
xXx
YaoiOtakuFangirls: YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!
ForbalaWriterGodSan: heeheehee, yaoi…-drooooool-
xXx
LordoftheWest has just signed off.
Gayfrog has just signed off.
PrincessFlowers has just signed off.
xXx
InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: man am i glad THAT'S over!!
Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul: SAME HERE!!
Lovelorndemonslayer and Backtothefuture101 and GiveMeYourSoul and InuyashakicksASS and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: KILL THE WRITER!!
ForbalaWriterGodSan: oh shit…-runs away-
xXx
YaoiOtakuFangirls have just signed off en masse to find yaoi elsewhere.
ForbalaWriterGodSan has just signed off to escape angry anime characters.
xXx
Backtothefuture101: …tht wuz weird
InuyashakicksASS: very
Lovelorndemonslayer and GiveMeYourSoul and WolvesdoITbetter and Youshouldletmeloveyou: -nod-
xXx
Looks like everyone but Shippou, Kagura, and Naraku showed up today! This might be just a oneshot, but it'll probably be my "I'm bored and need to write insanity" story. So, I hope you questioned my insanity upon reading this! Haha!