If it's okay
I'll leave the bed light on
And place your water glass where it belongs
And if alright
I'll lie awake at night
Pretending I'm curled up at your side

See I'm circling these patterns
Living out of memories
I'm still a long way from accepting it
That there's just no you and me

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times
And if it's alright
I'll still be loving you
'cause I can't break it to my heart

I curled up to my pillow late at night; missing his touch, voice, smile, and kiss….I loved him so much. I still couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong…why he wanted Claude. Tears welled up in my eyes once more and I sobbed into the pillow. I could hear Sebastian talking to someone that kind of sounded like Hanna outside my door.

"I've never seen bo-chan like this" my butler said with a truly depressed tone.

"I've only ever seen him with my master and he was always happy, I know how you feel" I heard her voice clearly. I covered my ears…why…why was she tormenting me?

"I wanna talk to him" another louder voice joined their conversation. I didn't hear anyone else speak before my former lover pushed my door open and entered my darkened room.

'Ciel" he whispered crossing over to the bed "Ciel come on you know I'm scared of the dark, talk to me"

"Go" I hissed.

"No" he said in a childish tone.

I sat up so I was staring him dead in the face "what do you think this is" I hissed "you're not here because you broke a toy of mine…you're here because you freaking cheated on me you stupid whore"

He looked hurt, pain ran through his blue eyes…I didn't truly think that…I loved him…tramp or not I loved Alois Trancy. I bit my lip "sorry, that was uncalled for" I muttered.

"I'm sorry" he sobbed.

His mask of childish happiness had broken into sobs of pain. His arms flew around my neck and he sobbed into my shirt "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I wanted so badly to hold him…to feel the void in my heart close up…to feel him.

"I love you….Ciel" he sobbed loudly once more.

"Then why'd you do it" I whispered keeping my hands away from him.

He looked up at me "awhile ago before you….I loved Claude…but he never returned my love….when you went out today I just stayed in bed waiting for you" he sniffed "and he came in to dress me… but he only undressed me and pushed me to the bed.

I raised an eyebrow at him "and you could have yelled for help and it didn't look like rape from where I was standing"

"Let me finish" I wiped his face on his sleeve "old feelings kind of…just came back and I…I slipped up I guess….please Ciel"

"I'm not a forgiving person" I muttered placing a hand on either side of his beautiful face "I'll miss you"

Again his eyes filled with tears and I pressed my lips firmly to his "that was the last time you will kiss my lips" I whispered sending him away. My own eyes had filled with tears and I didn't want him to see it. My butler sat down on my bedside "what did you want him to say"

"That it was only a misunderstanding…that he never loved Claude…that it was only me" I sobbed into the pillow.

Sebastian softly rubbed my back with his large hand. "at least he gave you the truth…he didn't lie and that means to him bo-chan you were worth the truth"