Chapter 1 Holes
"Severus, the war has been over for almost four years! Do you ever intend to forgive us for the way we treated you?" Minerva questions irritably.
Severus unconsciously raises his hand to his throat, touching the scars Nagini's bite had created. It had healed for the most part, but he couldn't get the scars to fade.
Minerva frowns in concern. "Is it hurting you?"
Severus quickly lowers his hand and stands up from the faculty table.
"I'll forgive you just as soon as all of you start treating me like an equal rather than some circus act!" He snaps pointedly at the other staff members, who had been sneaking glances at him throughout the entire meal.
Without a second glance at Minerva, the new headmistress of Hogwarts, he strides out of the great hall and towards the dungeons-his sanctuary. There was no one to stare at him down here. No one to whisper behind his back.
He quickly makes his way to his private chambers and wards the door behind him before lying down on his comfy black leather sofa. He covers his eyes with his hands and forces himself to relax. Stress made him stiff and being too stiff made him feel older than he actually is.
His mind hadn't felt quite right since he'd woken up in St. Mungo's. Of course, that could have been because of his missing memories. The lack of blood flow to his brain should have killed him. Instead, it had left him with amnesia. Minerva, the honest Gryffindor git, had assisted him as he struggled to remember events from his past. No doubt she now wishes she had left out more than Severus suspected her to have. Particularly the pieces that had caused him to lose faith in her. She had told him the truth when it wasn't in her best interest, so he didn't understand why he felt as though she were still hiding something from him. He felt as though something were missing, even here in his chambers. As though there were a hole in him that used to be filled with something important…something he should remember but couldn't quite grasp.
At first he had shrugged it off to having too much free time. Since the war had ended, he no longer had to play the role of double agent. He had started his own line of potions products under a false name. Research, experimenting, and marketing took up much of his time. Then Minerva had offered him his old job as Potions Master and had made him her deputy. Term would start in only a matter of days, but something told him it wouldn't help. None of it did.
There was no way around it. Especially now that he was back at Hogwarts. The holes were everywhere here. Whatever it was that he couldn't remember, it had been here. In the great hall. In the kitchens. In the corridors…In his rooms. It all irked him.
What irked him more was Minerva's not so subtle way of avoiding the subject. Whenever he tried to bring it up she would either start talking about something completely unrelated or start talking to someone else. His other colleagues would simply stare at him with pity in their eyes, as though they knew something he didn't. Or perhaps they though he was completely out of his mind? He wouldn't doubt it either way. After all, it was only his past. What right does he have to want to know about it?