A/N: Urgh, guys, I'm back at school, and I'm in my last year now and I'll have all of my GCSEs and seriously someone help me. But yes, it could mean fewer updates because my teachers are slave drivers.

Snitches, Witches and Boy-stealing Bitches

Chapter Two: I am a Strong, Independent Woman.

"So, are you actually going to talk to him this time then?" asked Imogene sceptically.

"Yeah, not like the time you decided that you were going to ask him out and then panicked, walked straight past him and fell head first into the Christmas tree," Annie giggled at the memory.

My friends began to snort. Honestly, it hadn't been that funny; I could've been seriously injured. And in my defence, Hagrid had only just dragged the tree into the hall. It definitely hadn't been there the day before.

The thought of actually talking to Lysander was pretty petrifying. So no, I wasn't exactly going to talk to him. There were other ways I could get him to fancy me too.

"I was thinking more of a subtle approach. You know, with my body," I told them wisely, shimmying a little to explain my point.

"Excuse me," Neva said, "Do I dare ask what you mean by using your body?"

"My body language," I corrected her, "You know – I will be flouncy and flirtations and other words that begin with f that I can't think of at the moment."

"How about fucked?" Imogene chipped in, raising her eyebrows, "And not in the good way - there's no way that you'd ever get his attention like that. You know, unless Lysander has a strange attraction to chickens, because in all honesty, that's exactly what you look like when you try to strut."

"Wow," I glared at Imogene, "How encouraging. I really feel like talking to him now." I bopped her over the head, and she squawked, clutching her hair. She shot me a scandalised look.

"Back to the point, I think you need a bit more pro-active than that, Lucy," Neva said.

"Well I think my plan's fine," I huffed, crossing my arms.

"It isn't," Annie interrupted, "I can tell. I am getting a very bad feeling about it," she closed her eyes and waved her hands in the hair, "It's my inner eye – it's kicking in, Lucy, listen to it!"

"Don't let Trelawney hear you saying that!" I snorted into my pumpkin juice, "She'll invite you round to her attic to drink herbal tea and do some sort of weird voodoo dancing to enlighten the spirits, or whatever."

"Aw, she isn't that bad Lucy," said Annie, prodding me, "I wish you'd taken Divination though, it's a right laugh."

"Oh yes, because predicting the tragic and horrific things that are sure to happen to me really does just make my day," I said sarcastically.

"Look, as much as we'd all like him too, Lysander isn't just going to come to his senses and realize that he wants to snog you," Neva said sadly.

"Who wants to snog Lucy?" said a voice from behind them, "Are they terminally mad or are they just experiencing a bit of a break down."

The voice belonged to Lorcan Scamander. He flopped down beside me, followed by Samuel Boot and Lucas Peakes. Their eyes were crusted with sleep, their hair sticking up at angles I didn't even know existed, and I was fairly sure that Lorcan was still wearing his pyjamas underneath his robes. I wrinkled my nose. Hufflepuff boys were, for the most part, completely hopeless.

I punched Lorcan in the shoulder, probably not hurting him at all.

"That's offensive," I told him, as he dug into his bacon sandwich.

"It is offensive," Annie chipped in, "You know, to mental people. I mean, nobody would be that insane, come on."

I kicked her shin hard under the table, hopefully leaving some form of permanent injury. Samuel and Lucas snorted into their cereal, getting milk everywhere.

"Look, I'm sure somewhere deep down inside, Lysander does want to snog you," Neva said, patting me on the shoulder. Lorcan's eyebrows raised and Samuel and Lucas leaned in, their inner thirteen year old girls desperate for some gossip. I glared at Neva.

"Lysander, as in my brother?" Lorcan asked, "Dude – come on, I don't want her in my family," he prodded my arm rather painfully.

"Think of the children!" he added as an afterthought.

"We can put in a good word for you if you like," Samuel winked, and Lucas chuckled. I had a feeling that any 'good word' put in by Lorcan, Samuel and Lucas would be less 'good', and more 'run while you can, save yourself!'

I shook my head, "I am perfectly mature and sensible enough to get whatever I want all by myself. I am not in first year anymore – I am a strong, independent woman."

Annie, Imogene and Neva raised their eyebrows in unison.

"You just have to make him notice you," said Annie, thinking deeply.

A grin came over Imogene's face, and she smiled, "I think I might have an idea."

~xx~

"Guys" I said, as Imogene slathered my hair in potion, "I'm not sure whether this is such a good idea."

"Oh don't be daft" said Imogene, running her fingers through the ends, "This is the stuff I use all the time, and it always turns out okay – do you want Lysander to notice you or not?"

I glanced up at Imogene's unnaturally golden waves, and back down at my lap again. I nodded.

"This'll grab his attention for sure," said Annie, beaming "You're going to look amazing."

Neva was pacing backwards and forwards across the Dormitory carpet, "Look," she said anxiously "If we get caught skipping History of Magic, we're all dead! I don't understand why we couldn't have waited until after class."

Imogene and Annie rolled her eyes, but she had a point. I mean, sure, it was only History of Magic, but if we didn't finish up soon we'd cut into Transfiguration, and there's no way that McGonagall wouldn't notice. All that said, Neva did worry too much. Sometimes it was good to have a voice of reason amongst the madness, but she was making me more on edge than I already was.

"Right then," said Imogene smoothing down my oily, foam-covered hair, "If we leave it on for ten minutes and then wash it off, that should be fine." She gave me a reassuring smile and walked towards Neva, hoping for help with her Charms essay.

~xx~

"Voila!" I said, twirling out of the bathroom dark bathroom and into the light of the Dormitory where Annie, Imogene and Neva sat.

I saw their mouths drop open in identical, horrified expressions. Oh Merlin.

"Well" said Annie, "It's very… unusual"

"It'll certainly get his attention," said Neva, looking amused and slightly smug.

"At least it draws the attention away from your ears. They definitely don't stick out as much," said Imogene, trying not to laugh.

"Okay," I said, starting to panic "Pass me the mirror."

Annie pulled out a compact from her back pocket and handed it to me.

It was worse than I'd expected. There was no other way to describe it. Basically, all in all, it was green. Green.

"I look," I said, gritting my teeth, trying not to yell, "Like some strange, mutant crossbreed between a sprout and a hipster." My statement was met by an onslaught of hysterical laughter.

"Oh I'm glad you find this so amusing!" I yelled, hitting them with my pillow. It had no effect on any of them though, and they continued to laugh, tears streaming down their faces.

"Well" said Annie, between hiccups "If there's one thing we've learned from Lily Potter, it's that boys seem to like the whole 'blindingly beautiful' look. And you, Lucy, are definitely blinding!"

And even though I was mortified, horrified and a giant hipster sprout, I began to laugh.

~xx~

It all became much less of a laughing matter when I realised that I'd have to actually leave the dormitory like that. After trying to charm the hell out of my hair, which did nothing except set the tips on fire for a few seconds, we were already running late for transfiguration. I'd considered skipping lessons today, but McGonagall wasn't one to be lenient, especially with her OWL classes.

Neva was bobbing on her heels nervously as I hurried down the stairs, my hair stuffed underneath a woolly bobble hat, which looked utterly ridiculous, but still a hell of a lot better than my actual hair. Neva pushed us out the door, practically running to transfiguration. Imogene kept repeating reassurances of how it would fade and of how she knew of a really good potion that would take the colour out. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be following anymore of Imogene's hair tips any time soon, though. In a way, I was just lucky that I wasn't bald.

McGonagall gave us all glares as we ran into the classroom, panting. We were only a few minutes late though, as everyone was just that instant sitting down.

"It's not that cold in here, Miss Weasley," she said as I made my way to my desk, "Please take your hat off – I really doubt that anyone sat behind you would be able to see a thing, the size of the bobble on top."

I tugged at it nervously, uncovering my hair, allowing it to fall down over my shoulders. The reactions ranged from a rather dramatic gasp of horror from Sasha Bones who was sat behind me, to the booming guffaw from my cousin, Freddie.

McGonagall sighed, shaking her head, "Go to the hospital wing, Miss Weasley, I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will have something that'll sort it out," I stood up, tugging my bag over my shoulder – it was almost worth wrecking my hair if I was going to get a free period out of it.

"Put the hat on, too, Miss Weasley," McGonagall called as I left the classroom.

~xx~

I was bored. I'd been sat in the hospital wing all day, a pink, frothy potion on my head, which according to Madame Pomfrey, would strip my hair back down to its usual colour. She'd walk past every half hour, muttering something that sounded like 'stupid girl' under her breath, but apart from that, I was left mostly alone. I'd read the latest four Witch Weeklies, even though I'd read them all at least three times before, and I'd even completed my Potions essay. I'd been in there all day with nothing to do, and it was almost nine when I was informed that I was allowed to wash the damn potion off.

Madame Pomfrey shooed me out of the hospital wing with a warning that if I ever tried anything that stupid again, she would personally hex it all off anyway. My hair was soaking wet and dripping down my back from the potion, and I prayed that I wouldn't see anyone on my way back to the Hufflepuff common room. No such look though, of course.

I turned the corner, only to be greeted by a very solid something already standing there. "Ouch," I said as I fell to the ground, only to be caught and steadied by a pair of hands. I looked up, blushing scarlet as I saw Drake 'The Goose' Fawcett standing in front of me, looking bemused.

"You don't have much balance, do you?" Drake said jokingly, letting go of my shoulders.

"Well" I huffed "You walked straight into me, so I hardly think it's appropriate to comment on my co-ordination skills"

Drake was still smiling "It's almost curfew, you know – I'm a prefect, too, so technically, I have the ability to give you a detention, so don't disagree with me. You're uncoordinated, just deal with it."

"Well then," I said, "If it's almost curfew, I better hurry up. You have no grounds to punish me on yet, it's only two minutes to nine." I hurried off down the corridor – I really couldn't be doing with any more trouble.

I heard Drake running down the corridor after me.

"Can I ask you a question?" he shouted from behind me, still grinning.

"Sure, why not. It's not like I have to sleep or anything." I smiled sarcastically, and he chuckled.

"I was just wondering," he started, "Why on earth you're wandering around with soaking wet hair?"

If I'd felt embarrassed before, it was nothing like what I felt now. I buried my head in my hands to hide my crimson face.

"Well" I said when I'd surfaced "I'd have thought the whole school would've heard about my hipster sprout incident by now."

Drake snorted, "Yes, I was quite looking forward to seeing that. I bet you looked good in green."

I stuck my tongue out at him, suddenly developing the personality of an angry toddler.

He smiled, "You are actually insane Lucy, but it's a good kind of insane. I've actually been meaning to ask you if you're going to Hogsmeade this weekend, I was thinking we could meet up, if you weren't busy."

I blinked, astonished. I wanted to say something along the lines of, 'Excuse me, but are you mad?' After all of that, who on earth would ask me out to Hogsmeade.

"Sure," I said, trying to keep calm as he nodded and walked away.

A/N: Thanks for reading – I changed this chapter quite a bit from the original, so. No favourites without reviewing, please?