Disclaimer: I will never, ever, ever own rurouni kenshin. EVER!
Well, this chapter has even more cursing and such. Again, prudent people should NOT read this fic. I don't enjoy flames telling me that Misao should curse less. After all, this is Misao we're talking about. She's fun, hyper, and her mood swings are random and quick. You'll see this in this particular chapter. She gets angry, sad, depressed, then angry again!
Last chapter:
And the number one reason why Aoshi will NEVER EVER ask me out is…
1. He already has a girlfriend.
Tomoe. The symbol for feminism. She's petite, fragile, and soft-spoken, with great big doe eyes that make guys melt when she looks at them. Not to mention she's what everyone calls, and I quote, "drop-dead gorgeous". If she weren't so nice to everyone, I'd hate her, but instead, I envy her, while trying to convince myself that she isn't perfect (although there are no visible flaws that I see).
She's about the only person he shows an ounce of emotion towards. Actually, now that I think about it, she's the only person that is allowed to touch him. Everyone else gets thrown into a wall…
But every intimate gesture they do share is like a stab through the chest.
He puts his arm around her. Stab.
She pushes his bangs back and gazes into his eyes. Stab. Stab.
He whispers something into her ear and she giggles, oh so femininely. Please, I beg of you, just put me out of my misery!
Of course, they've never even gotten to first base for all I know. Guess Tomoe takes the "no sex till you're married" thing to a whole new level. God would be proud.
You're probably wondering, "How the hell do you know that they've never gotten to first base? What are you, some sort of demented stalker?"
I do not stalk. It's belittling and illegal. I prefer to call it casually examining the finer details of a person's life.
But really, I'm not experienced enough to stalk. One time, I tried to follow him home, but about five minutes into it, I tripped over a rock and sprained my ankle. It was hard enough trying to explain why I had been following him (I think I started blabbering about how I didn't realize where I was going and went in the wrong direction…), but imagine trying to walk home with a throbbing and steadily swelling ankle (I couldn't tell him I sprained my ankle, I'd look like even more of a klutz, especially since the rock I had supposedly tripped on turned out to be my other foot…).
That incident was enough to send me out of the stalking mood for a while.
Still, even though the fact that Aoshi hasn't actually kissed Tomoe makes me feel a LITTLE better, I wish that Tomoe would just go somewhere far, far away…
The little things that constantly remind me that Aoshi is taken really make the days longer, which, is a bad thing, considering my horrible luck. It's like I have a huge neon sign that says, "Bad Luck Wanted".
Ugh! EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE SUCKS!!!!! They can all burn in hell! I just want to rip their little heads off of their scrawny bodies!
You wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you why, but I warn you, if you get me pissed off, I am so shoving your head up your ass!
10 Reasons Why Today Sucked
10. It was the first day of spring. You're probably like, "What's so bad about that?" Well, spring equals flowers, which equals pollen. I'm allergic to pollen, deathly allergic. The whole entire day was filled with sneezing, itchy eyes, puffy nose, the works. As if I'm not unattractive enough.
9. On my way to school, I realized that I forgot my lunch. Running back to the Aoiya, I narrowly escaped being run over by some bastard in a rusty old Chevy. Then, I realized that I had my lunch all this time (it was in my backpack). I know, I'm such a genius (note the sarcasm).
8. Stupid Rooster-head started to call me a weasel. I never really understood WHY I'm called weasel. A weasel is beady-eyed, sneaky, and dishonest. Is that why people think I am? Great, the spiky-haired SOB just lowered my self-esteem another 9 notches. I must remind myself to contemplate about my… er, weaselness.
7. Kaoru, my best friend since elementary school DITCHED me! I know she's been obsessing over that Himura guy for well over 5 years now, but what about me? Aren't I more important than the long-haired, girly freak? The only colors he wears are like white and pink. I swear, I think I once saw him wearing a t-shirt that said, "Only Real Men Wear Pink". Anyways, I was waiting patiently in the library for minutes until the frickin' bell rang. She could have at least told me, but she was too busy staring all googly-eyed at that Kenshin.
6. Due to waiting for my FORMER best friend, I was late for homeroom and was marked absent, got lectured for being late, had to walk down the stairs and across 5 hallways to get to the office to tell them that I was indeed present, then race back to homeroom, grab my stuff and race to science class. I would have made it one time, except some bastard stuck his foot out and TRIPPED me! On the stairs! I barely escaped spinal and head injuries! Of course, the bastard who tripped me had an unfortunate accident in which, somehow, his genital area was brutally attacked… Finally making it to science class, late, I remembered that I had forgotten to do the homework and was, therefore, entitled to detention. Fun…
5. During lunch, I sneezed and inhaled an enormous amount of carbonated liquid. Now everyone's looking at my nose, it being the size of a large apple, and just as red.
4. During gym, the same bastard that tripped me on the stairs (you know, the one that I made sure wouldn't enjoy any sexual intercourse anytime soon) got his friends to try and jump me while I was running around the track. I nearly escaped injury by smacking them with the closest thing that I could grab, which happened to be a neon orange, rubber cone. Then, one of his dumbass friends got their dickhead stuck in the damn cone and had to be sent to the hospital so they could cut him free (don't see why they couldn't have done it here), and since no one saw the SOBs trying to beat me up, I get a month of detention. I mean, WHAT THE HELL!!!! Since when is self-defense a crime? Is it my fault for punishing the guy for trying to kill me and that his asshole friend's head is beyond huge?
3. Wow, déjà vu. The same son of a bitch tried, once again, to trip me while I was going down the stairs. And I, once again, had to retaliate by attempting to rip his balls off and stapling it to his head. I would have succeeded too, except the thought of actually TOUCHING his lower region, even if two layers of cloth (at least I HOPE two layers, I mean, some guys don't like wearing underwear or boxers) are between my hands and his genitals, was just too disgusting, so I settled kneeing him in his stomach, then pushing him off the stairs. He fell pretty far too.
2. While getting my stuff from my locker, I saw Aoshi and Tomoe leaning against the wall opposite from me. At first, I didn't think too much of it. Then, I saw that they were getting PRETTY close. And he was looking at her so, you know, tenderly that I wanted to kick her pretty face in. Then… then… THEY FUCKING KISSED!!!!!!!!! Right in front of me, his undying crush! Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting. They ALMOST kissed, but Tomoe had an attack of prudentness (is that a word?) and turned her head so he kissed her on her cheek. But the fact that Aoshi WANTED to kiss her was enough.
Now, I bet you're all wondering, what could be worse than seeing Aoshi getting to first base with Tomoe (for the first time, I might add) right in front of me and everyone else. Well, if you're brave and willing to witness something that will give you nightmares for months and may send you to a therapist, scroll down:
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Come one, if you want it, work for it!
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May I warn you, what you are about to see is highly grotesque.
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Did you just eat? Cause I'd advise you not to read this if you have.
All righty then, are we all tuckered out and ready to kill the author?
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And the number 1 reason why today SUCKED is...
1. I, Misao Makimachi, witnessed my math teacher, Mr. Shishio, who is said to be over 60 years old and is covered with scabbing first-degree burns (chemistry accident, don't ask), MAKING OUT with the 19 year old secretary. On his desk. With his hands up her shirt… and her legs straddling his waist.
THEY WERE BASICALLY HUMPING EACH OTHER FOR GOD SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
And on school property! I will never look at his desk the same way again. It was just… so… grotesque! His blackened skin rubbing against hers. His wrinkled and horribly chapped lips mashed against hers. My mind has been scarred and my left eye will NOT stop twitching.
I just stood there, trying to grasp a hold of the image before me. But when he started to take off her shirt, that snapped me out of my trance. I don't think I've ever run faster (or screamed louder). Math was my next period too! I think I skipped and hid in the girl's bathroom. I had to miss seeing my dear Aoshi, but I don't think I have enough self-control not to throw up if I saw Mr. Shishio!
Well, now I'm off to bed. Guess what I'm gonna dream about tonight (and for the next few hundred nights for that matter)? I'll give you a hint. He's burnt, old, and humping the secretary. (Shudder, shudder)
So, how was that for disgusting? Well, you might not think so, but I sure as hell do! Anyways, time to...
Thank the reviewers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Iris: Thank you muchly for your review. Really, you flatter me. Well, I updated! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too.
Mini-Lilian: Thank you for reviewing and putting me in your fav stuffs. I really appreciate it.
Jessica Richardson: Thank you so much for reviewing. I really appreciate it. I hope this chapter was long enough for you. :)
White Wolf: Misao/Aoshi fics are my favs too! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Rachel: Yeah, Misao is really hurting in this chapter. But no matter, I am the authoress and I WILL bring Misao and Aoshi together!!!!!
Tesuka-chan: Yeah, Tomoe and Aoshi, who would've thought? And I luv Meg Cabot's books, especially All-American Girl, hence the lists in my chapters.
Little Sakura-chan: Thank you so much for reviewing, and really, your compliments made me feel so happy.
Well, that's all for today! Though I do have to ask you a question... should I continue with the lists in each chapter, or switch over to third person. You decide! Happy Holidays!