"IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou…" Morgan chanted at Kitty but was quickly stopped by Em.
"I think we get it." She said.
"Besides, it can't be someone that bad~!" Kitty said cheerfully as she opened a book/manual guide that came with the box. I peeked over her shoulder. It read:
GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just purchased your very own GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit! This manual was created in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit's full potentials, and it is advised that you read this pamphlet thoroughly before attempting to operate your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit, as mistreatment may result in an infuriated unit and aching body parts.
"Kitty, this is bad. We have Prussia."
"Prussia? YAY~! Open it!" Lorelei was all happy. I could instantly tell that this is a Prussia Fangirl.
"What is a unit anyways?" Chloe asked, tilting her head to the side. Morgan shrugged. Isn't a unit like um...something with math? Ugh! Math...
"We'll find out. Now, let's read this manual thing." ...My eyes -as well as everyone else's- grew wide and I somehow managed to hold in my laughter. They were describing Prussia's 'length'. Pft!
"Who wrote this? They are a bit perverted…" They are not~...I'm gonna put this information to good use. Kukukuku~
"Hey! Here's the bit we need!" Moon said as she pointed to a section in the book. It read:
Removal of your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT from Packaging
Due to your unit's volatile, rash nature, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will result in agony for you and all nearby.
1. Stand next to the box and pour beer on the lid. Your unit will claw his way out and harass you for some beer, and we advise you give it to him if you value your house. After getting his alcohol, he will be very friendly to you.
2. Set a plate of Austrian apple strudel next to the box, or play piano as well as you can. Your unit will get out carefully, probably in the belief that you are a RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit, and will try to ninja-jump you; reprogram him fast enough and he will not try to rape you.
3. Stand next to the box and say anything in Russian, preferably with the best accent you can manage. Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will tremble hard enough for the box to shake, and then you can open it and he will cry with joy at the fact that you are not an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; he will also be very submissive to anything you want. If you would like a defiant unit, stand far, far away - preferably at a distance from which you need a microphone - and call your unit by 'Kaliningrad'. The box lid will fly off and your unit will go into a rage, searching for an IVAN BRAGINSKI; reprogram him quickly to avoid major damage to your house.
4. Activate his Gilbird unit. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will chase Gilbird down.
"One and two are out… I wonder if we'll ever get a unit that can cook. It would be nice not to eat take-out…" Chloe stated. Yeah...I don't think pizza and Chinese food are really good for our health, anyway.
"That's what you think about Chloe? Not the fact that there is an awesome guy stuck in a box? Let's just activate Gilbird." Lorelei took the small box on top of the other box.
"I'll get the crowbar!" Kitty shouted and was then gone in a blink of an eye. Wait. Did she say 'crowbar'? Since when were we allowed to have stuff like that? I'm buying myself a metal bat!
"Quick! Open it before she comes back!" Morgan said. Quickly, we all began to open the small box. In the box was a small, puffy, yellow ball.
"Pi~?" The yellow chick shook then began to fly around the room. Me~h! He's so CUTE! I just want to chase him and squeeze the life out of him. But, before I can start chasing Gilbird, Prussia beat me to it.
"Hey buddy!" How the hell did he get out the box?
"Guys! I'm back! Oh! Prussia!" Kitty came back with crowbar in hand.
"Kesese! I'm glad you know the awesomeness that is me! But who are you chicks?" The 'so-called-awesome' one asked us.
"I'm Em." She simply stated.
"Hiya~! I'm Kitty! We should be friends!" Friends with Prussia? ...Wouldn't last long.
"Mora, but I prefer to be called Moon." Prussia nodded, which I guess was a good response.
"Emily. Dare insult me and you lose you 'five meters'." I said happily.
"I'm Chloe. Call me short and I do the same as Emily." Kukukuku~ I watched as Prussia backed away from Chloe and I.
"I'm Lorelei and I love you! Marry me!" Kawaii~ a confession. Though, poor girl had to be pulled away from Prussia by Morgan.
"And I'm Morgan. This is our lovely home." She spun around. Then Prussia did something that made feel sooo uncomfortable. He looked us up and down. The bastard is probably putting us in some strange outfits, OR WORST! He's remembering us so we can appear in his fantasies! ...Where do these ideas even come from? Well, for whatever perverted reason Prussia decided to check us out, Lorelei was in heaven. Morgan was gonna kill the Prussia, I can sense it.
"Morgan, don't hurt him yet. All he was doing was complimenting us." Complimenting us? I highly doubt it!
"If he ends up raping me, I blame you." Morgan said. She shouldn't worry. He'll probably be hiding from Lorelei.
And he reached out to touch the innocent face of Michael.
"A-Alex...please. I love you, not Jack! It was a mistake! Believe me!" Michael tried to hold back his tears. Alex wiped the tears away with his thumb and kissed Michael.
"It's okay. I know what that bastard did. I love you too. I'll touch you in all the places he touched you. I'll kiss you in all the places he kissed you. I'll replace his marks with mine. You'll be mine and he'll know it!" Alex kissed Michael again. A kiss filled with so much passion and lo-
I instantly stopped writing...I sensed something! I'm not sure what, but I sense something. Meh~ I placed my yaoi (paper and pencil...and a drawing I drew with it...) under my bed and went to look around. I spotted Prussia on the couch, which I have to admit. It's a comfy place! I went into the kitchen and saw Morgan reading something. I peeked over her shoulder.
"Morgan, what are you- IS THAT YAOI?" I shouted. In an instant, all the girls were behind me.
"Yeah. You know where I keep it." Morgan said. Wait, seriously? I thought for a moment...then another moment...and another moment.
"You never told us. You and your possessiveness." Chloe said. There was awkward silence- WAIT! I do remember! I accidentally sniffed it out and found it's 'secret' location. Suddenly, I noticed Prussia walking in. He looked pale, like if he saw a...ghost...OMG! ARE THERE GHOST IN HERE? I suppressed a squeal, because, yes. I am a ghost fan. Anyway~
"Eep! Are you ok baby?" Lorelei rushed to Prussia. Suddenly, he holds up one of Morgan's doujinshis.
"W-why…why do you have this?" he asked. Haha, was it Germcest? Morgan got up and smacked Prussia. She grabbed her doujinshi and asked, "Where did you find this?"
"Your room…" Suddenly, I realized everyone went for the yaoi. DAMN! I followed them into Morgan's room.
"I CALL THE GERITA~!" Kitty shouted and started digging through the stash of yaoi. Everyone quickly went to find a doujinshi of their favorite pairing. I only stood there, watching them. I felt like crying...
"Emily? What's wrong?" I started crying.
"I DON'T KNOW WHICH PAIRING I LOVE!"
Prussia has been here for two days and is already complaining. He wants beer. DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE HAVE BEER? I feel sorry for poor Morgan having to deal with the majority of his whining. I want to help her, I really do! I'm currently standing in front of a case of beer.
"Sorry, miss. But you can't buy that." I turned around and saw a guy who worked here.
"Is that so?" I said with a smirk on my face.
"It's so." Then he turned around to walk away.
I reacted quickly. "WAIT! Uh...what if I pay you?" The man stared at me.
"No."
"I'll pay you ten dollars!" I said. What? I was gonna give him five.
"No. Miss, you aren't the first underage person who asked me the same question. And the last person had paid me over 156 dollars." Damn...
"Emily~ let's go!" Kitty called out. I glared at the guy then walked out, but stopped. I saw...CHOCOLATE! I must buy it!
"Quick! I want this!" I slammed a box of chocolate bars. The clerk looked at me then the candy. He looked around and sighed. I paid the dude then ran off to catch up with Kitty.
"What happen?" she asked.
"Uh...needed to say bye." I lied.
"Liar. But if you give me five chocolate bars, I won't tell anyone" She said with an 'innocent smile'.
"One"
"Four"
"Two"
"THREE" We both said.
"Are you happy?"
"No! Are you happy?"
"No."
"Deal" We nodded and did an insane handshake. Then we headed to home sweet home!
When we got there...
"We're back and- MYRNA!" Kitty dropped the groceries and was hugging the poor girl in an instant.
"Kitty~ the groceries" I whined.
"SALMON!" Suddenly, Morgan was all over the salmon. She rubbed it against her face while the rest of us just stared. I started to pick up the gorceries Kitty dropped with the help of Moon.
"Huh, you need a room Prussia." I heard Morgan said. I nodded and placed the groceries on the table.
"He can be next to me!" Lorelei said and was gone in a blink of an eye.
"I was going to say that was a bad idea, but whatever." Moon shrugged and walked away. Soon everyone was leaving to do their own business.
"Kitty, help me-" I turned around and found Kitty curled up and sleeping on the chair. I sighed.
"Fine. I'll do it by myself." I said to myself as I started putting awa the food. I quickly found my chocolate and put it aside. Once I was done putting away the groceries, I picked up my box of chocolates and headed to my room.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BATHROOM NOW YOU DAMN FUCKING PERVERT!" I heard Morgan scream. Prussia then tumbled out of the bathroom with a smirk on his face.
"She looks hot." He stated. I rolled my eyes.
"You're such an idiot." I opened the door to my room. But before I was able to get in, Prussia snatched a chocolate bar from my box.
"Whatever." He said and walked away with the chocolate in hand. I stood there...then I glared at the soon-to-be-dead-unit
"Prussia~" I said darkly. He turned around but before he could open his mouth, I swang my bat out of nowhere.
"Give me my chocolate, and no one gets hurt. Kukukuku~" He gulped and threw the chocolate bar at me. I grabbed the chocolate and smiled at him.
"Good boy! Well, bye~" I put the bat away and skipped into my room.
A few days had passed the Myrna had left. Too bad. I was writing my yaoi and like always I was getting to a good part. BUT SOMETHING HAS TO RUIN IT!
"Emily~" Kitty sing-sanged.
"Yeah?" I didn't look up and continue to write.
"Have I told you that you look like a leprechaun~?" I froze...did she say...L-leprechaun? I turned to her slowly.
"What the fuck did you say?"
"You. Look. Like. A. Leprechaun." She said slowly. I took out my bat and began chasing Kitty.
"I. Am. NOT. A. LEPRECHAUN!" I shouted.
"But you do look like a leprechaun! The hair and the dress and-" I grabbed a bean bag (I carry those around for fun) and threw it at her. "Emily! That hurts!"
Suddenly, the door bell rang. We all fell silence, not making a sound.
"Well, who's going to answer it?" Moon asked. Morgan groaned and went to opened the door.
"Hello?"
"Another delivery." I heard the delivery man say. I was quickly behind Morgan, already ignoring Kitty.
"Are you always going to be delivering here? If so, I think knowing your name would be nice. 'Delivery Dude' isn't a great name in my opinion." I like it. Delivery Dude...hehe.
"I'm Mark, Miss Freeley." Morgan just stared at 'Mark'.
"That's the first time someone has called me that…"
"Because you aren't awesome enough to be called something formal!" Prussia shouted. I quickly covered my ears, but I could still hear Morgan shout.
"SHUT UP PRUSSIA! Anyways, I'm either going to hate or somehow actually like you depending on this unit."
"Where do you want this?" Mark asked.
"Living room would be nice…" Morgan said. I followed Mark into the living room. Then the Delivery Dude left.
"GUYS! NEW UNIT!" Morgan shouted. Everyone was quickly in the living room.
"Who is it?" Em said tiredly. I watched as Morgan began to read the manual.
"Can it cook?" Chloe asked.
"It's England." Morgan and everyone else's faces dropped. Wait...did...they say...E-england? I couldn't help but smile and let a small squeal out.
"Damn. I wanted to live until I was at least 50…" I ignored the comment. YAY! WE HAVE ENGLAND! I would kill anyone who gets near him!