Summary: Quinn visits her cousin Freddie, and in turn helps him discover that opposites really do attract
Summary: Quinn visits her cousin Freddie, and in turn helps him discover that opposites really do attract. Seddie and Quogan. iCarly and Zoey 101 crossover. Thanks a zillion to Her Name Is Erika.
Disclaimer: Idon't own iCarly or Zoey 101. Dang it!
A/N: Oh yes, my two favorite stories in one. This will be fun.:)
We Always Argue
Chapter 2
"You sure you don't need help with that box?" Freddie asks me.
"Trust me, I'm a professional." I tell him confidently. Well, maybe I can't absolutely qualify as professional since I've a) knocked out my friends various times, b) hit the Dean of my school in the nasal area with a boy's airplane toy, and c) Well, actually, I'm required by law not to discuss C. Anyway, Freddie gives me a look. "Oh, just walk!" I follow my dear cousin across the hall, and he knocks. No answer. Then he knocks again. Still no answer. One more times then…
"We don't want any!" I hear an aggressive, but feminine voice bark from inside.
"Sam, that's rude!" a higher, more girly voice scolds. "It's probably Freddie."
"Oh, then, we really don't want any!"
"Sam!" Freddie rolls his eyes, and suddenly I realize he probably wasn't kidding about this Sam. About five seconds later, the door makes a click and then opens, revealing a small, brunette girl who…kind of looks like Paige Howard. I'm most likely imagining it though.
"Sorry about that." She smiles sheepishly. "Sam's a bit abrasive." So I've heard. "Anyway, you must be Freddie's cousin. I'm Carly." She smiles and puts her hand out, which I politely shake.
"It's nice to meet you." I greet. She steps away from the door so Freddie and I can get by. I drop the box slowly to the ground. The girl who I'm guessing is Sam gets off the couch in the middle of the large, colorful apartment, holding a bag of BBQ chips.
"Hey dork." She greets Freddie, hints of mockery in her tone. Her gaze falls onto me, and I smile weakly. "Who's she?"
"Carly!" Freddie complains, turning away from the blonde. "You told me Sam was going to be nice when my cousin got here!"
"Sorry." Carly shoots him an innocent, apologetic smile, and I watch in amazement as my cousin turns to mush and smiles back.
During this brief moment, I notice two particularly significant things; One, when Freddie smiles at Carly, Sam stares down at her chip bag awkwardly and lets out a quiet, frustrated sigh.
Two, Freddie doesn't see this.
Okay, so I am a scientist, so I admit to having a higher level of observation and understanding. But even so, I still need to say this.
Even an inane platypus that got hit on the head with several large rocks would see what I just saw! Sam was upset by the attention Freddie was giving Carly.
Is this a brand-new breakthrough, or have others seen this as well?!
And to think Freddie is related to me. Freddie Benson has my scientific blood running through him, and he can't figure out that Sam only insults him…-
Sam lifts her head up from her daze, her eyes narrowed. "Oh, so this is your cousin, Fredward." Freddie turns to her cautiously, afraid of what she's planning, perhaps? Sam then turns to me, gives me a mournful expression, and says, "I am so sorry."
He turns to me. "Do you see?! I told you she's mean!" And then he turns right back to the smirking blonde, who is obviously happy she's affected her nerd so much. "That was so uncool!"
"Awesome, just like you." Sam shoots back nonchalantly. Freddie makes an odd grunting, angry sound. It sounds a bit like there's a sock in his mouth.
Anyway, my discovery: Sam only insults him to get his attention! Of course that's why! It's so easy to see! Is he blind?! Maybe I'll ask my optometrist to give him a subscription of some kind, because wow is it obvious!
"Why don't we all go to the studio?" Carly cuts in nervously.
"Sounds great." I nod, smiling. "Let me just get my box." I pick up the box at my feet.
"What's in it?" Sam asks curiously.
"My Quinnventions." I tell my cousin's friends proudly.
"Oh, I get it!" Carly laughs lightly. "You combined your name and 'inventions'!"
"Inventions? Whoa, let me see!" Sam says excitedly, reaching for the box. Freddie hits her hand away, and she reacts by punching him in the shoulder. She smirks as he rubs his shoulder. "My bad. Force of habit."
"You so did that on purpose, Sam!"
"So what if I did?"
"I just wanted to suggest that we look at Quinn's stuff upstairs!" he turns to Carly. "Right Carly?"
"Yes, we'll look at the inventions upstairs." Carly agrees, sighing and eyeing her friends nervously as they walk upstairs bickering about something random. The next sentence is directed at me. "They're not usually like this, you know."
I look at her questioningly. "Are you sure they're not?"
She sighs again. "Okay, they are! I don't know what to do! It's like everything they say is," she holds up her hands in puppet form. "Bicker, bicker, bicker, I love Carly, bicker, bicker…" Then the hand puppet on the left counterattacks. "Bicker, bicker, bicker, ham, physical violence…" She drops her hands and sags. "It's been a lot worse lately, too."
And suddenly, an idea hits me. It just comes to me somehow, but it makes so much sense that I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier.
"I see." I send a nod her way to let her know that I understand. "You know, it's peculiar…."
"What is?" Carly asks, confused.
"Oh, nothing."
Now, I know I'm not one to meddle. Okay, maybe I have partaken in nosy behavior in the past…you know, once, maybe twice. Or more.
Fine! More! Happy?
I'll rephrase, to make more sense of that discursive babbling. I'm aware that it's wrong to meddle. But I really feel that my doing so would be in Freddie's best interest.
He doesn't see Sam's confidence abridge when he smiles at Carly. He doesn't see that fire in her eyes when she shoots insults at him on the air, while I'm sure every iCarly fan, including myself, does. He doesn't even see that the second Sam insults him, he acts like she's the only person in the room.
So what I need to do is make him see.
I am family, after all – and if anything, family is all about meddling into each other's lives with perfectly good intentions.
Now I just need time to carefully systematize my plan…
"Okay." Carly says after a moment. "Well, wanna go upstairs? You know, before your cousin becomes a Freddie pancake?"
"And Sam eats him for lunch?" Well, these jokes about Sam and Freddie are certainly fun. They should write a television program about these kids.
"Now you're catching on." She says comically. "Follow me, I'll show you where the studio is…"
iCarly studio fact one; It looks way bigger online.
iCarly studio fact two; Random dancing is not random at all. Freddie pre-sets it.
"What's this?" Sam holds up my breath freshener (some critics might call it my laughing gas).
"It makes you laugh nonstop." I explain to her.
"Cool." She says. The iCarly gang and I are rummaging through my inventions, searching for something to use for the show. So far, we'd vetoed my stunning gun (I have no idea why people have such a problem with it! Clearly, it works. If Zoey had just let me use it on Rebecca, she would have seen that), hair growth formula (Sam had said, saying Freddie's legs needed a dose, and he'd angrily swiped it from her and made a comment, then Sam made a comment, then Freddie, then Sam, then Carly picked up the stunning gun and they hushed themselves), and the knock out spray (Sam said she preferred knocking people out the old fashion way, and Carly said she hated vanilla). "I'll have fun with this one." She puts it on the floor behind her.
"What about this one?" Freddie holds up a pink liquid in a round, clear bottle.
"Truth serum." I tell him. "Whoever drinks it can't lie."
"Wow, you're so cool!" Sam compliments. That's pretty great, that people actually find my inventions cool. Back at PCA, they're a nuisance. They're always getting my friends and me in lots of messes.
It will be different this time. You just wait.
"Yeah, totally!" Carly agrees. When they're not looking, I stash the serum in my jacket. I'll need it.
"How the ham are you related to that?" Sam points at Freddie, who glares.
"Well, um…" I change the subject. "Hey, why don't you guys use this?" I grab my paint ball from the box. "Whatever you throw it at, it explodes over sixty colors of paint onto them."
The trio erupts into a chorus cool's and awesome's.
"We can use it for Messin' With Lewbert!" Sam suggests.
"Yeah, we can use it for Messin' With Lewbert!" Carly happily agrees.
"Great idea, Carly!" Freddie comments. Oh god.
Carly frowns. "It wasn't my idea, it was –"
"Save it, Carls." Sam rolls her eyes. "It's not our fault the dork can't hear."
"My doctor actually said I have a very acute sense of h –"
"Whoops, don't care." Oh, come on, Freddie! How can he not see how absolutely hurt she is?!
"Guys, stop." Carly says warily. Sam crosses her arms angrily, and Freddie mimics her.
"Fine." They say in unison.
iCarly studio fact three; The acoustics are great for heated arguments.
LoganRulez: Hey gorgeous, how's Seattle?
I roll my eyes, but as always, I can't help but smile.
iCarly begins in about an hour, but right now I'm 'getting settled,' as Aunt Amber would say. She says I need time to apply and reapply my anti-tick lotion, and she needs time to arrange my double 'poo (the 'sham' kind, thank goodness) agreement.
In other words, I'm hiding in the guest bedroom with my laptop with the door locked 'til the clock strikes six. It's a wonder how Freddie tolerates this woman on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I love my Aunt. It's just…
She's a tad psycho. Oh well. Nobody's perfect.
I'm trying to think of the perfect way to go about with my plan, but it's so hard when you've got so many laptop-related distractions.
Okay, one. But I think he should count for more.
Scigrrl: Hey baby! It's good. I'm currently hiding out in my guest room because my Aunt Amber is bizarre.
LoganRulez: Like Coco bizarre?
Scigrrl: No, more like Stacy bizarre.
LoganRulez: Oh god.
I let out a laugh.
LoganRulez: Question.
Scigrrl: Ask it.
LoganRulez: Michael's over here right now and – YO WASSUP QUINN! It's Mike! I got some brand new clackers
LoganRulez: He's an idiot.
Scigrrl: Aw, don't be mean. Hey Michael!
Scigrrl: What's your question?
LoganRulez: We were wondering if it would be okay with your cousin if we stopped by.
LoganRulez: I've got to pick up some stuff for my dad's new movie anyway (yeah, being forced to)
LoganRulez: I bet you he wants to meet The Great Michael from The Chase And Michael Show!
LoganRulez: Uh, that last one was obviously Michael.
Scigrrl: Figured.
I think for a moment. I do really want to see Logan (and Michael, but especially Logan), plus it might do iCarly some good if Logan Reese is on it. And yes, The Great Michael, too.
Scigrrl: I'll definitely ask. When are you coming?
LoganRulez: Three days.
Scigrrl: Great. I miss you.
LoganRulez: I miss you way more. Trust me.
Out of nowhere, I hear a crash coming from somewhere in the building.
And then laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.
SCigrrl: Gotta go! Crisis emerging!
Not again!
A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get this out, or if a chapter has come out in your story that I haven't read. It want to!! But school has started for me, and honestly, once you're done with the whole new to school thing (I'm in 10th grade), they just pile on the work. PILES AND PILES. Yippee.
Anyway, that doesn't leave me with as much time to write as the summer did. So you'll probably notice that I only update once a week or something. I really don't know. But don't worry – I will update!
Anyway, how'd you like this? Good? Bad? I enjoyed Quinn's reaction to Freddie being so oblivious.
A new chapter of iSwitch will be out soon. That's it for now!
-Colors