Very short chapter, but full of awkwardness, blushing, and fluff.

Shinichi felt his entire body heat up in a blush and resisted the urge to curl into a ball and hide. Saguru cleared his throat, his own cheeks red while Kaito was attempting – and failing – to keep the smile off his face. "I realize this is a little awkward," The blond said, and Shinichi made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "But we have to know what you're comfortable with so we know where to start."

Kaito covered his laugh with a cough and said, "He's right Shin-chan. So no matter how embarrassing it is, you need to answer honestly. Are you comfortable touching yourself?"

The blue eyed detective wondered if it was possible to overheat from a blush, because his face felt as though it were on fire. This was not a conversation he ever thought he'd be having. Let alone with his boyfriends. He doubted his vocal cords would work even if he tried, so he gave the tiniest nod possible. When the older teens' blush deepened, he wondered if it was too late to change his mind.

"Have you ever wanted…" Saguru seemed to be attempting to find the best way to word his next question, and Shinichi felt his stomach drop. That couldn't be good. "Have you ever wanted to…please yourself?" The blue eyed teen was ready for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He was sure he sounded like a dying animal with the noises he was making, but this was too much.

Setting his elbows on his knees, he covered his face with his hands and nodded again. He was sure Kaito was enjoying this. "Have you ever tried to?" Shinichi felt his bottom lip quiver as he looked up towards the blond, silently begging him to stop. Saguru simply smiling apologetically and waited for his answer.

The dark haired detective didn't want to answer that. He didn't want to admit that he fantasized about his lovers. He didn't want to admit that the thoughts of them touching him made his stomach flutter and heart beat in excitement. He didn't want to admit that he had tried before, only to stop because each time he got close, he remembered him, and the fear brought him back to an almost panic attack. He didn't want to admit that the man who had hurt him so badly when he was little still had so much power over him.

He didn't want to admit the tears of frustration and helplessness he'd shed each time because no matter how much he wanted to feel his lovers' hands caress his skin or feel the press of their bodies without clothing restricting them, each time they tried he was thrown back. He was wretched from their love and tossed back into the swirls of helplessness, hurt, loneliness, and pure terror.

He was ashamed to let them see how helpless he felt about not being able to fight against his past. He was ashamed that even after all this time he couldn't even please himself without remembering. He couldn't do it without freezing up in fear and ending with his head pressed between his knees as his breaths got shorter and his heart beat faster.

But he'd promised them he'd be honest. So he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

"Shin-chan," Kaito said, squeezing nest to him in the armchair and wrapping his arms around the detective. Shinichi hadn't realized he'd started shaking. "Do you want to take a break?" Turning his head into the magician's chest, he took a deep breath and relaxed. The thief's scent was familiar and he took a few seconds to calm down before shaking his head. "Are you sure?" He nodded. So long as they didn't expect him to use his words, he could answer a few more questions.

Saguru cleared his throat a little. "Are you comfortable seeing yourself naked?" Shinichi nodded again, not moving from his spot leaning against Kaito. "What about others seeing you naked?" The blue eyed detective turned his head enough to look at the blond. "Are you comfortable going to public bath houses or hot springs?" He shook his head. He'd always hated public baths.

"Shin-chan," Kaito pulled back, causing the detective to frown a bit. The magician's face was serious. "This is probably going to be uncomfortable for you, but we need to find out how far we can go with touching you, alright?" Shinichi swallowed slightly and nodded. "I need you to tell me when it starts to get uncomfortable. Don't try and force yourself to endure it." The blue eyed teen nodded again.

The thief smiled softly and pulled the detective back in for a hug. Shinichi felt his boyfriends' hands resting on his upper back, one slowly sliding down until it was sitting on his lower back. "Is this alright?" He nodded. Kaito's other hand moved and rested on his knee. "And this?" He nodded again. The hand on his lower back slid around his body until it laid over his heart. The magician was grinning again. "This?" Another nod. The hand over his heart moved and he shivered when fingers brushed almost teasingly over his left nipple.

"What about this?" Kaito's hand stopped over his stomach, and Shinichi nodded. The thief placed both his hands on Shinichi's outer thighs. "This?" The blue eyed detective hesitated. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it made him slightly nervous. Just enough for his heart to beat a little faster. Biting the inside of his cheek – a habit of his when he was indecisive – he finally lifted his right shoulder in a half shrug. The magician nodded and very slowly moved his hands to the tops of Shinichi's thighs, his thumbs barely brushing the upper insides.

The detective shook his head – his heart was starting to clench and he could feel his stomach churning. Kaito quickly withdrew his hands and pulled the older teen closer, kissing his temple. Shinichi closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his lover, burying his nose into the thief's chest. He felt his mood plummet. He was this uncomfortable even with clothes on. He was starting to think it was impossible.

Saguru put a hand on Shinichi's back and gently rubbed it up and down. "You're going to get through this," The blond said softly, leaning down to kiss his hair before planting a small kiss on Kaito's cheek. "Don't forget that we're going to help you. You won't be alone."

Shinichi looked up at the older teen and nodded slightly, feeling himself relax. He wasn't alone. "I love you." His voice was a soft mutter, and he could feel his cheeks heat up again as he said it, but he couldn't think of a better way to tell them what they meant to him.

"We love you too Shin-chan," Kaito whispered, kissing him gently.

"We'll always be here for you," Saguru added, giving him his own kiss. "Always."

Shinichi was sure he'd never been happier, and that nobody else was as lucky as he was.

Little by little he'll start healing.

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