AN: I hope that you enjoyed last week's prelude…..Now the story begins. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun.
Chapter One: WTF
Waking up can be disorientating for most people. That feeling of where am I or what did I do floats through their heads regularly. Like when they slept really well or a really long time and especially if they have been drinking. Over the years I had heard my fair share of "what the hell" moments in the middle of the morning as people looking around completely unsure of what was going on. But to understand my confusion you have to take that disorientation and multiply it by a million and then you will get why the first words out my mouth when I woke up standing in the middle of the Forks High School parking lot where:
What the fuck?
I had never really used that word before except for in extreme circumstances, like when Tyler's van almost crushed Bella or when I almost killed her that first day, but I would say that a vampire waking up when he hasn't slept in over ninety years would be considered extreme.
I couldn't understand how I had gotten here and I didn't remember the last thing that happened before. I looked around seeing Rosalie's BMW but not my car. Had I run here? Had I rode with Rosalie? And why was my family here in the first place? They were supposed to be leaving.
I ran into the building searching for their thoughts but there was nothing in any of the rooms that they were supposed to be in except teacher comments on their lives and the horrible education of the current academic classes. None of this was making any sense.
I followed the hallway until I reached the lunch room and there sitting in our normal spots were the four people who had promised me last night that they would leave Forks and never return. They sat there like it was no big deal. Like Jasper hadn't tried to drain the love of my existence last night and caused me to have to make the worst decision of my interminably long life.
It was strange that I couldn't remember what had happened right before I was standing in the parking lot; I refused to continue to think of it as waking up because that was too confusing, but I could remember the entire night before. I could remember Bella looking amazing in the dress that Alice had picked out for her and the radiant smile that she had forced onto her lips so that my family wouldn't realize how much she hated parties. I could remember the joy that was going through everyone as we celebrated her birthday. Even Rosalie wasn't being as hostile as normal. I could see Bella sliding her small finger under the flap of the wrapping paper and the moment where my life was destroyed.
One drop. Who would have thought that one tiny almost invisible drop would have the power to change everything. To take a wonderfully blissful evening and shatter it along with every hope and dream that I had ever had. I loved my family and I adored Bella but I hated them all in that moment for showing me that I could never have a life with Bella. That there would always be a danger to her as long as I stayed, that she would be better off if I had never entered her life; that they all would.
With that thought I stormed up to the table preparing to take my anger out on each and every one of them; especially Jasper. He should have been able to control himself better. I should have been able to control myself better. The lines were blurred and since I couldn't hurt myself more than thinking about leaving Bella it seemed only fair that I should hurt him just as much.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" I hissed. Just because I wanted to destroy each one of them didn't mean that I wanted to call unnecessary attention to us. "You're supposed to be on your way to Denali and instead you're here? You promised."
I waited for them to respond. To explain why they were here but they each said nothing. Emmett continued to stare broodingly at his food. While Rose sat further away from him then I had ever seen before. They weren't touching or laughing and since when did Emmett brood. Something wasn't right and I tuned into their thoughts for the first time since seeing them.
God I miss her, Emmett wasn't looking anywhere but at the bag of chips in front of him but I could hear the longing in his voice. Could he be talking about Bella? I knew they were close and he considered her his little sister but this sounded different. Why can't I be enough? Why does she have to resent me the way that she does? Why can't it be like it was in the beginning? His mind floated over images of Rosalie smiling at him and laughing but they weren't recent. These were times that we had shared almost sixty years ago, before Alice and Jasper found us. What was going on?
I turned to Rosalie and her mind was just as strange as Emmett's. Maybe I never should have saved him. I had never once heard her voice such a thought and I stumbled back from the pure conviction that laced every word. What had happened in the space of a one night to change their relationship so much? I knew better than to damn someone to this half existence but I had to be selfish. I had to beg Carlisle for the one thing that I thought would make this life better and now look. There's so much resentment between us he can't even look at me. As if I needed another reason to hate my life. Maybe there is another way to be destroyed that Carlisle never tried.
This was all wrong. As much as I hated having to see Emmett and Rosalie going at it all the time in their minds and on the living room sofa they had a physical relationship that I had hoped to have one day. The passion that they always felt for each other was beyond anything I had ever seen in any mind vampire or human and to hear Emmett so lonely and Rose contemplate suicide it was insane. Not that Rose was my favorite person all the time but she is my sister and the family wouldn't be the same without her.
I looked over at Alice wondering why she hadn't seen this. She was wrapped around Jasper and it was nice to see that whatever was going on with Rose and Emmett hadn't affected them. Maybe she hadn't seen Rosalie's thoughts because she was so worried about Jasper. Slipping back into my normal role as the family informer I listened in make sure Jasper wasn't planning a school wide massacre so that I could reassure Alice but the thoughts that I heard were more disturbing than anything ever to come from him before.
Why can't she just let me go? Can't she see this isn't working? I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. If it wasn't for my love for her I would have ran long time ago. I would still run if I could get a moment away from her. Maybe I would go back to Maria. True I hated her and all that she stood for but at least when I was fighting with her I didn't feel so lost. I didn't feel like I was someone I'm not. I didn't feel trapped.
He was going to leave. None of this was making any sense. Jasper would never leave Alice and how could she not notice what was going on around her? Could she really be that wrapped up in Jasper that everything was falling through the cracks? Is that why she didn't see what would happen at Bella's birthday party last night.
Suddenly I was raging with anger that she would risk her best friend's life just because she couldn't tear her mind away from Jasper. I understood someone being the center of your world but then she should have seen what would happen. She should have had everyone put their gifts in bags or not wrapped them at all. I listened hoping that all I had thought couldn't be true; that she cared more than that for both me and Bella.
If I just hold on a little more than maybe he won't leave me. She knew. This she had seen but nothing about Bella. Or maybe it would be better if I just let him leave; if we both left. Em and Rose seemed to have been better before we showed up. Even Carlisle and Esme were closer than they are now. Me and my stupid visions. If I had never seen the Cullen's then maybe Jazz and I would still be happy. Maybe we all would still be happy. I hate them. All they ever do is cause more problems than they solve. If I could will the visions away I would.
My anger with her evaporated. What had happened to my happy, always hyper Alice? Her mind was more disturbing than all the other's combined. Alice had always been the one that I shared the most with; the two Cullen freaks. To hear her so lost and depressed was like a shot to my heart. She was supposed to be bubbly and planning shopping trips and long talks with Jasper and ways to make everyone in the family smile. Between her and Emmett they kept us all from getting too bogged down with the weight of eternal life.
If we did leave where would we go? Would he want to go back to Maria? Could I live like that? I saw a vision of her and Jasper hugging with similar smirks on their faces and eyes as bright red as Rose's car. Around them lay bodies of vampires and humans and the saddest part was that they looked more together than they did right now.
This was crazy. "What is going on with all of you?" I almost screamed but it was so fast that I was sure none of the humans could hear. "I know that none of you want to leave but this is for the best. Bella will be safe and once we are gone and settled than everything will get back to normal." I knew I was lying, that I would never be normal again, but right now this wasn't about me. My family was falling apart before my eyes and I needed them to snap out of it.
None of them said a word or acknowledged that I had said anything. They continued to sit as they had been. This wouldn't work. For the millionth time I second guessed my decision to walk away from Bella. I knew that she would be hurt at first and I would be devastated for eternity but I had no idea that my family would take it so hard.
"Look, maybe you guys could stay and I could just leave." I tried. It would be torture alone leaving Bella but then to not have my family with me would make it worse but I had to do something. "You would have to agree to never see her again so that she could move on with her life without us but if it will help that's all that matters." I waited for the smiles to appear but nothing. I waved my hand in front of Rosalie's face since she was the closest to me but nothing. She didn't swat at me or yell that I was invading her space she just sat there stone faced.
"Who are they?" I heard my heart whisper lightly. Their beautiful.
I jerked because I actually heard her inter-thoughts. I had never heard my Bella before but the sound was just as beautiful as when she spoke aloud. How was this possible and why now? We, or rather I, was leaving soon and to finally hear her when I had to let her go was agony. If I could have cried in that moment I would have.
Leave it to the new girl to notice the freaks. Jessica Stanley's had never been a mind I liked and I found that nothing had changed in that. "Those are the Cullen's and the Hales." She explained. "They are Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's kids." I bet he does experiments on them or something to make them look so good.
I rolled my eyes. She and Mike had been thinking that way since we first showed up. After awhile some things just got really old.
Wow, they don't look that much alike except for the skin tone. About time I found someone paler than me. She was laughing at her own joke and I had to smile. Bella had such a sharp wit to her that very few people got. There was something in her words that struck me as odd but I couldn't put my finger on it.
"They don't look that much alike." Bella voiced out loud and that was when it hit me. Why would she be surprised that we don't look alike? She knew all of our secrets. There should be nothing that shocked her anymore about us.
"They are all adopted or foster kids or something." Mike answered but he didn't seem the least bit interested in any of us.
"Yeah, Doctor Cullen adopted Alice and Emmett. She's the small one with the spiky hair and he's the big one with all the muscles." Jessica was still explaining something to Bella that she already knew. "And I think the other two, Jasper and Rosalie, are twins and they were like Mrs. Cullen's sisters kids and when she died then she took them in as foster's."
Well that was nice of them. Bella mused. She was still glancing over and I smiled at her like the idiot that she always reduced me to waiting for her to mention me or at least look at me. She had looked at everyone but me.
"That was really nice of them to open their home like that." She smiled over at our table but her eyes stayed on my siblings.
"I guess" Jessica shrugged. Wait until I tell her this part. She won't think it's so sweet anymore. "But their all together." She leaned in. "Like together, together. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice." She made some hand gesture and I growled lowly. When were people going to let it go? I knew it was different but it wasn't like it was incest or something.
Okay, I saw Bella's eyes widen. That's a little different but hey if it floats their boats. I saw her small shoulders raise and she turned back to her table. Besides it's not like its incestuous or something. They aren't real brothers and sisters. I guess the twins are but they aren't dating each other so whatever.
She looks like she doesn't get it or maybe it's just not fazing her because she's from Arizona. Maybe they have this type of thing everywhere out there. Jessica was really disappointed that Bella didn't respond they way that she thought she should. "Yeah, Doctor Cullen is like this foster dad slash matchmaker."
"Maybe he can adopt me." Angela Weber spoke up and there was something strangely familiar about their conversation, almost like I was having a déjà vu moment.
"Oh my God Angela" Jessica practically shrieked. "Why would you ever want to be in that freak of a family?" She looked over at us. Although if Alice would finally loosen up her hold on Jasper I wouldn't mind taking that for a test drive. Just look at that hair. Maybe she knows that if she lets him go he'd leave her in a New York minute. Poor thing can't even eat.
My eyes widened a little because that was the first time anyone had ever noticed that none of us were eating. Obviously with everyone so distraught the façade was slipping. I started to tell them to eat something even if we would have to throw it up later but Bella's voice stopped me.
Boy this place is like a soap opera, she was thinking as she let her hair fall forward to cover her face. With Jessica yelling at poor Angela and those kids over there living together while also dating. Where did I move? Forks or Port Charles? Renee would love this. The way she watches General Hospital it would be right up her ally.
I could hear the sadness in her thoughts as they turned to Renee. I hope that she's doing alright. Did I remember to pack her vitamins? She wondered before remember that she put them in the side pocket of her mother's luggage. Now all she has to do is remember to take them. I should email her when I get home to make sure she doesn't forget. Maybe I should call but knowing Renee she probably let her phone die again and I just know she isn't going to remember that she put her charger in Phil's bag. Guess I should add that to the email also.
She always took such good care of her parents. It was such a reversal of roles, her always worried about Renee and cooking every night for Charlie. She really needed someone to take care of her. I had wanted to be that man. To make sure that she wanted for nothing and had everything that she ever could think that she wanted but one drop had made sure that I knew I could never be him. Damn that drop. Damn all of it.
That's when it hit me. I breathed in deeply waiting for the overwhelming scent of Bella to cause the venom to pool in my throat but nothing. I felt nothing. I breathed again and again nothing. I could still smell her but the bloodlust was gone. It was like being around every other human. No need to attack her or devour her. All I could feel was my love for her and the need to hold her as strongly as it had always been.
I almost tripped with my rush to get to her side but just as I was close she rose up and walked right past me headed toward the back door talking to Newton like I didn't exist.
What the fuck was that, clearly another extreme circumstance. I followed behind them listening to their conversation both outwardly and internally.
"Sorry about Jessica" Mike was explaining. "She can be a bit much." Especially when she has you pinned in a broom closet. He was having flashbacks of Jessica pushing him up against a door and I quickly exited his mind.
"That's alright." Bella smiled shyly. "I'm just glad to have made a few friends on my first day." Not that I would really call them friends but they had potential.
My feet froze in place. Her first day? What the fuck did that mean? I might as well just accept that everything right now was going to be extreme, I thought as I shook my head to clear it. That was when I looked at her; really looked at her and saw that she was wearing the same outfit that she had been wearing on her first day at Forks High. Could that be why my family was still here? If so then that just made their thoughts more confusing.
I rushed to catch up with them as they entered the biology class room and I looked over to our normal table only it wasn't empty. Riley Biers was sitting in my seat. I hate to be redundant but what the fuck is going on? I watched as Bella gave her slip to Mr. Banner and then walked over to sit next to Riley. The wind from the fan blew her hair just as before but I wasn't over come with bloodlust and Riley just smiled as she sat down.
Man she's cute, he was thinking and I growled lowly at him. I looked around for an empty seat but there weren't any so I went to stand in the back. Whatever was going on I needed to get this solved quickly.
"Hi, I'm Riley" He extended his hand out to Bella and she again smiled shyly as she took it. "You must be Isabella."
"Bella" She corrected. What is it with these small town hicks? Have they never heard of a nickname before? I swear Charlie must be going around calling me Isabella to everyone that he sees.
I laughed to myself. I loved hearing her correct people when they called her by her full first name. Only Charlie and occasionally I had the privilege of using that name.
I watched as they chatted away during biology while they did the assignment I remember having a hard time concentration on because I was trying not to slaughter a whole room of children. Bella actually laughed at some joke that he told and she smiled more than I would have liked but nothing extreme happened other than the fact that someone else was living my life right now or some crazy shit like that.
Boy I must really be out of my element. These words were flying out of my mouth like it was no big deal.
I listened as the bell rang and Mike showed up at our desk to walk her to gym. Riley told her he would see her tomorrow and then left normally. There wasn't any need for him to race past her because he couldn't hold his breath any longer. There was no fear in her eyes as she watched him leave and followed Mike out the door.
I was tempted to follow them but I went to Spanish and sat down next to Emmett as per usual even though there was nothing usual about what was going on. At least my seat was still here in this class. I half expected to see Riley sitting here too.
"Em you will never believe what happened." I leaned over to whisper to him. "Somehow we are all reliving Bella's first day here and Riley Biers is now her lab partner." I chuckled. "Matter of fact there wasn't even a seat for me in biology. But the best part is that my bloodlust is gone. Not just controlled but gone." I thought back to how I hadn't felt venom once during that hour in biology. Not just for Bella but for any of the humans. "Do you know what this means? I might not have to leave her. I might be able to stay and be with her for as long as she will have me."
I expected Emmett to smile and make some joke about my finally getting laid but he just sat there drawing pictures of Rosalie's face in his notebook. Why can't she see that I love her, that I don't resent her for turning me; that she is my world and I'm lost without her? Why can't I be enough for her?
He was still thinking about Rosalie and my joy at realizing that I wasn't lusting after the whole school took a backseat. "Hey, we'll figure something out." I tried to cheer him up. "Don't worry." I smiled at him. "This is you and Rose we're talking about. She can't stay mad at you for long. Just give her a little time." I would talk to Rose when we got home and find out what was going on and help however I could. If anyone understood hating themselves because of what we are then that would be me.
Maybe if I found her a baby, Emmett was coming up with a plan that I didn't like. Maybe I could go to an orphanage or a hospital and wait to see which babies get left then she would have everything she's always wanted. I would just have to keep Jasper away so that it would be safe. Although I might have to take two so that Esme wouldn't try to hone in on Rosie's kid.
"Emmett you will do no such thing." I couldn't believe that he was really being serious about this. I could see the plan coming up in his mind. He figured the orphanage would be better because no one stayed up all night watching over the kids there. "Emmett I will talk to Rose just don't do anything rash okay?" Still he said nothing.
This might be bigger than something I could fix. Rosalie considering ending her existence, Emmett wanting to kidnap babies, Jasper thinking about leaving and Alice having visions of her and Jasper with red eyes; I think it was clear that I needed help. I didn't think Bella could help me right now considering if this really was her first day then she didn't know about us yet and there was no need to scare her but Carlisle could help. Yes, I would drive out to the hospital right after I we got home and I got my Volvo.
And the added bonus would be that I could try out my new non-bloodlust and see if the hospital doesn't affect me. How great would that be? If I could walk in to that building like people weren't bleeding all over the place. Maybe if I really have lost my bloodlust than I can help Carlisle out at the next hospital we go to. Finally put those medical degrees to work.
The bell rang and I shot out of my chair. "I'll meet you at the car and don't worry about Rose, we'll fix it." I called over my shoulder to Emmett. As much as I wanted to be there for my family I wanted to say hi to Bella, to re-introduce myself. Sure it might be dangerous to invite her into my life again but this time the danger wouldn't be me and I could protect her from all the other things.
I rounded the corner just in time to see her heading into the main office. She was turning in her slip that every teacher signed and I waited outside the door for her to come out. I couldn't wait to see those chocolate depths looking up at me but when she came out she was walking with Riley. They were talking and again she walked right past me. This was getting ridiculous.
I signed. Maybe this was for the better. Now she could lead a normal life without the supernatural interference that I had brought. She could be really safe but still shouldn't she at least acknowledge my presence. A smile or a nod or something. If the connection that we had was really as strong as I thought shouldn't it still be here whether I'm her lab partner or not.
I knew I shouldn't be upset but everything was completely messed up. My family was hanging on by a thread and Bella wouldn't look at me. How did all this happen?
Carlisle
I knew that if anyone could figure this out then it would be him. I ran outside to meet the family but Rosalie's car was already gone. They left without me? That wasn't normal either. I would yell at them later right now I needed to get to Carlisle so that he could help me fix whatever the fuck was going on.
I ran faster than my normal speed rushing to get to him. I skidded to a halt right in front of the doors to the emergency room because there leaning against the outside wall was Carlisle smoking a cigarette and looking like an older James Dean. He didn't have his scrubs on but a button down shirt tucked into a low fitting pair of dark wash jeans and a leather jacket that matched his boots to perfection.
"'Bout time you got here." He pushed himself off the wall and grounded his cigarette to a pulp.
"Carlisle?" I couldn't stop the shock that filled my voice.
He smirked and laughed lightly as my confused face. "Not quite but I guess that isn't your first surprise today."
He wasn't making any sense and after my day the only question I could ask was the same question that I had been asking since I opened my eyes in the parking lot. "What the fuck is going on?"
"Haven't you figured it out yet Eddie?" He was shaking his head at me. "You're dead."
AN: What is going on? How did that happen? So many questions. Guess I will just have to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
Don't forget to check out the Fictionators blog (link on my website) on Monday for a sneak peak at next week's chapters and please don't forget to review. It makes me smile :).