Alice hid the Volvo in the forest behind Swan residence. I was out of the car before the car even stopped and ran in my full speed.
"Bella." I called as soon as I was in her kitchen. She too jumped from her place – from the chair she was seated in with Jasper and Esme – and was in my arms in the next second. "I missed you." I murmured. I was back home...
"Me too." She whispered in my chest. "You took too long to come." She added. I laughed as she used my words from before.
"Sorry love." I thought about telling the reason for being late. My one lie had made so many difference, now no more secrets between us should remain. Keeping that in mind, I told her the reason. "We accidentally crossed our path with Charlie."
She gasped and looked in my eyes with horror – for me.
She was scared for me.
"There is nothing that you have to worry about, love. I will take care of everything." I told her as I cupped her face in my hands, wishing she gets the message and stops worrying.
She swallowed once. "I know you will." She answered sceptically.
"You two stop now." Alice interrupted. I had all but forget that we had a little company here with us. "You will have time to do all this after we leave." Esme and Jasper laughed at my expense.
I am sure you are eager to have your undivided time with her. Jasper.
I am so happy for you two. Esme. She looks so radiant, and you look so happy, so complete. Though I missed you terribly, take your time and come back when Bella is fine. I had almost forgot that my mother would be waiting for me. I hadn't even greeted her since I came back. I nodded at her minutely and she smiled. I'll be waiting for you.
There are some CD's I brought for you two. They are on her desk. Charlie will be back today by six thirty. Have a good time.
With that, all of them left after telling their goodbyes to us.
Now, I had my alone time with Bella. I brought Bella more closer to be by pulling her towards me. She framed her warm body according to my cold one and sank further in my embrace. I hid my face in her chestnut waves and filled my lungs with her flowery scent. "You have no idea how much I love you, Bella." I said as a matter of factly.
"I know how much you love me." She pecked my cheeks. Her cheeks turned more heated as she hid her face against my neck. I gently picked her up in my arms and headed for the loveseat in the living room. She gasped, but smiled. Her one hand was around my neck, and one over my chest all the time. I walked in a slower pace, savouring her warmth, and sat on the couch in the living room, placing Bella on my lap. She again curled against me. I stroked her hair, and leaned my head in her hair, breathing the strawberry scent of her hair.
"How did it went with Renee?"
"Much easier than I thought it would." She told me with a small smile. "Though she was angry with me, she forgave me quickly. She was happy for me, and also much more accepting about you." I knew she was referring to Charlie, but I didn't want to argue with her now.
"Shall we watch a movie?" I asked her after a while. I may never get tired of watching her, but she needed some other thing.
She bit her lip, as if she didn't want to watch a movie.
There was again the guarded look. "I don't have any movie here." She blurted after looking down. I closed my eyes, and once again the truth of those words tore my heart away. I had hurt Bella so deeply that she opted to throw all the CD's, even the movies out, not only from her room but also from her house.
"I'm sorry."
Why was she apologizing? She had done nothing wrong. She hadn't told anyone lie that she don't love him; she hadn't broke the promises she ever made; she hadn't broke anyone's heart.
"You have nothing to apologize for, love." I told her truthfully and tried to smile, not letting her see how much it pained me to see how agonised she was, all because of me.
But I hadn't fooled her. She touched my cheeks with her warm hands, stroking them. "Please, don't torment yourself, Edward. You are here now, and that what's matter the most." She reasoned. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against hers. "Please open your eyes."I opened my eyes and fell into the deep chocolate pools of her eyes. There was compassion for me saying she understands why I left her. There was forgiveness in her eyes. There was love in her eyes shining for me. But never anger which I deserved to see there.
How could she love a monster who had just hurt her, not just once but again and again, was beyond my imagination.
But here she was, sitting beside me, happy to be with me rather than staying angry. I will always be grateful to all those stars which gave my Bella back to me, which gave her love back to me. I kissed her forehead, and her eyes. A lone tear fell down her eye, which was caught by my lips, catching it there, not letting it flow more down. I would not see any other tear in her eyes. I would die rather than see any doubt, and sadness in her eyes. I pledged. I would do whatever it takes to correct my mistake, to make her believe in me, in my love once again, even it takes all my existence for it. With that resolve I gently kissed her tear and then her lips. I kept my fingers on her neck just below her artery, to feel the life beneath my fingers, the precious life upon which my whole existence depended.
Though I was thirsty like never before, and her blood was pulsing just beneath my fingers, the only thing I could feel was hunger for her just like the hunger a man has for a woman, and not that usual thirst. She first kissed me gently, but then her kiss became more passionate, more demanding. I wanted to give up, to let her take control, but that was not the best thing to do. I can not risk her life, at any cost. I gently parted our lips. She pouted. I laughed and pulled her against my kiss lasted for just a moment, but it was enough for her to calm down and excite my body. I craved more, but her soft body always reminded me why I can't.
It was again a line on the edge on a knife I have to walk.
"You sit here, I'll bring the movie CD's."
"But..."
"Alice had brought some movies for us and placed it on your desk." I explained her as if this was expected as I stood up and kissed her head. I was back in one second with the CD's collection. I sat on the recliner and she snuggled beside me. I gave her the whole lot of CD's. There were all types of movies – romantics, classic, musical, comedy, horror.
"Here, choose anyone."
Bella looked at the whole lot and scoffed. "Alice always outdoes it."
Yes, she does.
Alice had made a pile of about hundred CD's for Bella. "Has she really given me these many movies to choose from?"
"Yeah. Don't forget this is Alice we are talking about." I teased with a shrug. After all, my sister was best at all this stuff, and nobody could win from her in this. "Now, which movie do you want to see?"
"Okay. Lemme see." She busied herself in selecting a movie.
While she was busy fumbling with the movies, I brought her water, some chips and dark chocolate for the movie. Then I went upstairs and brought a blanket and cushion for her to be more comfortable and to protect her from my chilly body.
She picked up the movie 'A Walk To Remember' – one of her favourite movies. I put it in the CD player, cocooned her in the blanket, and sat on the recliner pulling her next to me. She curled up against me, and put her head on my shoulder. I played the movie, and made us node comfortable in the small confined seat.
After the credits, I laid in the underside of the loveseat and Bella laid beside me, resting her head on my bicep with her back to my front, just like two spoons pressed together. She kept her hands and mouth busy. Her left hand was busy holding my right hand in her, not letting it go even for a second, whereas her right hand was busy with the snacks. She kept her mouth full all the time, saying something slurred while she commented, bit I understood it without any problem.
I didn't pay any attention to the movie at all – my Bella was more interesting than any movie. The whole time I played with her hair or stroked her arms, or kissed her head, or traced her neck or jaw with my nose or kissed there or imagined my mother's ring on her left hand. She sometimes slapped my hand away telling that I was not letting her concentrate, but other than that she was letting me have my fun.
Bella was so engrossed in the movie that she didn't realize her chips were finished and so was chocolate before the interval. I went in the kitchen to bring her some more and was back in two seconds. As soon as I was back she interlaced her fingers with mine and made some space for me on the old couch so that we X poo UK's lie back in our former position.
She was reluctant to leave me for even a second, and the feeling and longing and reluctance was mutual.
We laid down in our former position on the couch and resumed our movie.
Near the ending, when Jamie died and Landon was left alone, standing in his balcony, Bella was all tears. I wiped them away with my fingers but she kept crying. "What is with you and the romantic classics?" I asked curiously. "You love to watch them again and again, but still cry every time you see it."
"I guess you vowed today that you will never criticize 'Romeo and Juliet' which applies for all the classics too." She countered by turning in my arms and looking in my eyes.
"But still?"
"How can it be a classic if you are not crying in the end?" She argued.
"Um," I stuttered. How can I answer to this one? – I had no clue. So I changed the question instead. "You do realize that it was never a true classic?"
"Yeah, I do. Actually, it's the thought of Landon living alone with the thoughts of Jamie..." and more tears flew down – but this were not for the movie. She was remembering my close encounter with the Volturi.
If she was late for one second..."I am so sorry love. I didn't mean this."
"I know." She assured me. "But, I could have been late. The thought of you not existing..." She shuddered and cried in my chest with her arms around my neck, as if holding me there with her whole strength.
I tried my best to sooth her by rubbing her back or stroking her hair, but to no vail.
"Shh Bella. I am here. I am not going anywhere." I tried my best to make herself control. I have never seen her going into pieces other than in Volterra. I was again getting scared.
"That day," Bella started, her voice still muffled by my shirt. "when you said me bye," she sniffed and I winced. One of the worst day of my life. "I knew I could live, because somewhere on earth, I knew, you would be living. But the thought of you never existing... of never seeing you again..." She again shuddered and more fresh tears came out from her eyes and made their way to my shirt soaking it wet.
"It's all right Bella. I'm here with you, don't panic love. Everything is all right." I kept murmuring in a gentle tone.
"I-if I-I wa-was t-too la-late, i-if th-they wo-would have ki-killed y-you on yo-your fi-first re-request." She shuddered more if that was even possible. The tears were still flowing freely. I again started panicking. What should I do? I had no idea.
After ten minutes, she gained control again, and her tears stopped.
If she was opening her guard a little, I can take a chance. There was one important question I wanted a answer to. I decided to ask the question – what would the worst be? She would either tell that Alice was right or wrong or cry more. "Bella?"
"Hmm." Her voice was now better, not too muffled.
"If I ask you something will you answer me honestly?" I asked her cautiously. I wanted to know was she considering giving her mere existence. Alice was sure that Bella was trying to give up. She hesitated but nodded. "When you jumped off that cliff –" I took an unnecessary breath. It was more difficult to form the words than to imagine it. "– did you gave up fighting from the waves that Jacob had to come and save you." I whispered.
Her heart started beating frantically. She buried her face further in my chest, and tried to take some breathes. "Edward, do we have to talk about this." She asked me in a whisper after a minute. I could tell that she was trying to blink away her tears.
"Please Bella, this is important for me."
"Edward," she whispered, her voice muffled as she was still whispering against my chest, and her tears once again flowed down her eyes, which were soaked by my shirt. Her voice now became almost inaudible that I could hear it just because of my supernatural hearing. "I don't know what, but when I was in water –" she gulped, "–the only thing I could see was you. I couldn't even feel the water. There was only you, and when I saw you, nothing else mattered. I thought if by giving up I could see you, be near you, then I should – would." She sniffed. I closed my eyes as her confession. To imagine it was worse, but to hear that your suspicions were correct was the worst. "I am sorry, really sorry. I was not planning for that, but at that time it was the best thing I could see, the only thing I could... The best option I had, so..." she was not even able to finish the sentence.
Thank God she didn't say anything else, because I knew I cannot hear anything more without hurting myself. I pulled her against my chest as much closer as possible, and buried my face in her hair. I could feel my eyes burning with the tears which would never be formed. She was so sad, so distraught that giving her life was a better option for her than living. She was ready to die so that she could just see my face properly in her memories. She wanted to die so she blocked get rid if the pain I had inflicted on her. I was even worse for a vampire.
"I am so sorry Bella." I murmured. Even the word 'sorry' seemed useless in front of her pain. She said nothing, but held me by all her strength. "I will never forgive myself for making things worse, for thinking I am doing the right thing."
She removed her head from my chest and looked directly in my eyes. Her eyes were red and strained with tears, but her smile was heart melting. "Sick, masochist lion." She smiled sweetly and kissed my nose.
I smiled. "Sweet, innocent, trusting, forgiving, adorable lamb." I said looking into her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat, and started beating at anew speed, and her eyes became glassy. She was dazzled. I kissed her lips and she complied eagerly. We again laid together and said nothing, just embraced each other. After a few minutes, I heard Bella's heart rate has started to come down – clear signal she was near sleeping. I sang her lullaby, but she was already unconscious to hear it.
I never thought I would be singing her lullaby again. She may not be able to hear now, but I am sure she will like it when she is awake enough to hear it. She deserves a good sleep after what all happened in the past seven months. She hadn't slept peacefully for any long time. She has owned a good healthy sleep. After all, the last night was big for her. She took me back, she had a vote for her mortality, she decided to become a vampire, this time with the support of my family, a proposal – though it was not a proposal but a demand – from me, an angry father to handle, and she was most definitely grounded. She had earned some peaceful sleep.
She may not feel, but I am sure my hard rock body may not be the perfect cushion for her. So I decided to make her sleep on her bed.
I moved a little to end the movie, but as soon as I moved, she whimpered in her sleep. "Don't." She exclaimed, nearly choking in her sleep, and tightened het hold on my neck. I kissed her head, hoping this may make her believe that I was not going anywhere. "Edward." She sighed happily and snuggled more closer to me. I gently scooped her in my arms and carried her to her room. Once she was settled on her bed and was sleeping peacefully, I went downstairs to clear the food and blanket. After cleaning the mess and switching off the movie, I went upstairs to join her in the bed. I laid beside her, and put an arm around her sleeping form. Even in her sleep she cuddled to me, putting her head on my chest, and her arms around my neck, leaving her legs tangled with mine.
"Edward... I love you."
"I love you too, my love. More than I can ever say."
"Hmm." She sighed happily.
She slept soundly for another hour. And then her next dream started. "Dad, I'm sorry... Jacob... Sorry."
I hung my head. She was dreaming about that mutt!
There was a time when she used to dream only about me, but now I had to share even her dreams with that dog. "Edward." She sighed and twisted more, burying herself more in my embrace. I may have to share her dreams, but I know her heart still held me. I buried my face in her hair and breathed her intoxicating fragrance."Edward... I love you... so much."
This was heaven.
"Sorry Jacob."
Right in the middle of hell.
After fifteen minutes, she stopped talking. She was now sleeping peacefully in my arms. Bella started stirring in her sleep after another half hour. She was having a nightmare, I guessed, as she had a torn out expression on her face. "No Alice... no clothes... I hate you..." I laughed and my whole body shook with my laughter. To have Bella a nightmare due to Alice was a thing I cannot hold my laughter to. I wish Alice was here to hear her out!
It was nearly five in the evening when Bella's heartbeat pattern changed, indicating she was waking up from her restful slumber. She brought herself more closer to me and opened her eyes, watching me warily. I knew she was trying to convince herself that I am really here and she is not hallucinating. I kissed her softly on her head, and all her insecurities evaporated, a brilliant smile forming on alluring face. "Sorry, I slept."
"I'm more than happy that you slept." I was happy that I could again hold my love in my arms. But she was still afraid in her unconscious mind. I have seen it today – a small glimpse of her nightmare, which Alice summarized for me after taking with Charlie. Whenever I tried to move myself — even if to close the curtains — she whimpered in her sleep.
She stroked my cheek with her hand, and I leaned in her touch. "Please, don't be sad." She requested.
I smiled and kissed her hand. She knew me better than anyone. She saw past me and directly in my heart. "Why would I be sad? I have my love in my arms. There is no space for any sadness." I said with a wink. She smiled and rested her head on my chest.
"Human minute." She muttered before going out of the bed. I waited patiently for her, thinking that how much I had missed her human moments too.
When she came back, she settled in her former position. Her hair was like a haystack, as usual, and she was looking as charming as always.
I really liked it when we both were on a same page – thinking about the same thing – as she also touched her hair, but instead of finding it alluring, she groaned. "Ugh! My hair is a mess."
"I like it this way." I murmured, telling her the truth – she looks more beautiful with her tangled hair when she wakes up – and also trying to make her at ease.
But, when had Bella taken me seriously?! She laughed. "You are biased, you know."
"No, I'm not. You don't know how dazzling you look with your morning look." Bella seemed shocked at my appraisal and honest answer, and scoffed loudly. She touched the tips of her hair and shook her head.
"But really, my hair is all messed up." She grumbled.
"Really Bella, it's all fine. There is no wrong with your hair. They still smell nice, just like you." She flushed and started playing with her hair.
"What did Mr. Greene told you in your meeting with him?" She asked me.
"Um, he welcomed us with open arms, thinking the school got it's two bright students back." That was true enough, and I really hoped she settles here.
But again, why do I forgot who I am dealing with?!
"And Charlie?"
"He talked to Alice, and it seems he has already forgiven her."
She laughed. "I guess he did." Bella agreed. She knew it better that it is impossible for a person to stay angry with Alice for a long time.
"Yup."
"And you?" She asked with a little hope.
"Actually," I again thought about lying to Bella that her dad was trying to be easy upon me and also he talked, but then recalled that all these tragedy was due to one lie, and quickly recoiled from that thought. I just hope she doesn't gets hurt or sad listening how Charlie ignored me. It's not that I don't deserve it – I deserve far more from it. "He ignored me." I continued.
"What?" Bella asked, outraged. "He did what?" Bella was sitting now with her hands in fists. "I'll talk to him! He should be nice with you!" There was some fire in her eyes, which was always there whenever she noticed injustice.
Did she not realised that Charlie has every right to behave like this with me? – after all he has earned that right, he had seen his daughter in the worst situation ever. I sighed. "Bella, let him treat me the way he wants to." I pleaded. She was denying. According to her, it was an injustice with me as Charlie was not even talking to me.
After a while, her face cooled down and then she asked me in a small whisper with hope. "Edward, is Charlie thinking about being easy on you?" She was still worried about me.
"Let me handle all that part, and you don't have to concentrate on this, love." I offered. She was trying to deny, so I interrupted her. "Please Bella, I know you feel there was nothing to forgive, but please let him treat me as he wants. Don't intercede." I used my most pervasive tone, and she nodded weakly. I held our my arms as an invitation to lie her down with me again.
"Okay." I sighed and pulled Bella in my arms again. She complied eagerly. We still had one hour to our self before we were interrupted by Charlie.
"It's time to make dinner for Charlie." Bella suggested after learning that Charlie would be home in half hour. I released her and went downstairs with her where she was preparing lasagne for dinner. Though the smell of the food was foul, I watched Bella work.
I wriggled my nose when she took the ingredients and started chopping them. She saw the disgust on my face. "What?" She raised an eyebrow in challenge. She knew I was going to comment on the food.
I made a face. "How do you tolerate it? This smell is so revolting."
"No. It is not." She retorted. "Not by human standards."
"Oh, for you." I scoffed. "To me it smells like a rotten rat."
"Then you should pluck your nose and run to the toilet before you spoil my floor."
"That's mean."
"That is for comparing these to rotten rats." She snapped. "Seriously Edward, you could have used some other analogy other than that. Yuck." She made a disgusting face which made me laugh aloud. She joined me shortly and we both laughed like two idiots. After that I moved with her just like a dog, but neither I was ashamed in that, nor she minded. She was looking happy that I want to be near her, no matter what. She was looking more ecstatic. She was constantly singing a tuneless tune. I asked her many times about that but she said she heard it once but where she forgot. At nearly six forty five, she put the dinner on table and sat. I pulled her hand in mine. I couldn't let any distance come between us. She smiled watching our hands in her lap.
She then looked in my eyes and gently stroked my dark circles under my eyes with her free hand and swallowed once. "You need to hunt." She reminded me. Though she tried to tell it with as much conviction she could, I could look past her brave poker face and directly in her soul. She was trying to be brave for me, like always, but I knew this was much more difficult for her then she was showing.
"I am fine. I think I would be okay with a few more days." I told her truthfully.
"We both know that you're hurting yourself. I don't want you to ignore your health after me."
"Now that I have you back," I liftes our entwined hands and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. Her blush returned warming my cold fingers. I leaned closer and whispered against her burning cheeks. "I am far from hurting myself. I haven't felt such happiness in a long time." Her heart skipped a beat and started beating faster, and her eyes lost their focus. I gently brushed my lips across her cheeks.
Our moment was interrupted as I heard Charlie's cruiser turning towards the driveway. I frowned. "Charlie would be coming here within two minute." I informed her.
"What are you going to do when Charlie is here?" She asked in a small voice.
"I'll wait for you upstairs." What else would I do?
"Edward, you were away even from your family. You should spend some time with them too." She said sternly, with authority.
"But I don't want to leave your side." I argued.
"But you cannot stay here with Charlie seeing you, and I don't want you to stay anymore minute away from your family." She ordered. "And you will be here tonight?" She stated but it came more like a question.
"Where would I be other than be with you." I asked her and kissed top of her head.
"Please, for me, spend some time with your family too, please." I sighed and nodded. She can make me do anything! She smiled and kissed me once more before I broke the kiss and stood up.
"Hurry back to me. I'll be waiting for you." She nodded against my chest, and slowly released her fingers from my shirt one by one. I kissed her every finger before kissing her once again. This time her fingers didn't made their way to my hair, instead were at her side in fists. I knew what she was thinking –if she buried her hands there, she may not be able to leave my side. Charlie reached the Swan residence and was going to be on the gate in ten seconds. I kissed her harder for two seconds and released her. She smiled tentatively and stood up from my lap.
"I love you." I mouthed and went upstairs. She smiled.
I had some work to do before I go to my home. I went in her room and moved towards the floorboard where all her things were still hidden. I gently removed the floorboard. Inside were the things – our photos, the tickets for Florida, the CD which I gave her – just like I placed them when I left. I removed the things from there and placed it on the bed. After sealing the floorboard again, I removed dust from her things and arranged them on her bed.
After I was pleased with my work, I took off for my home. Every step away from Bella was like the hole in my chest was coming again, but I knew I would see her soon. I just hope she knows that too and doesn't gets worried.
As soon as I was near my home, the thoughts of my parents came in my head. Alice had already informed them I was coming home, and they left before I came here so that I get some time with my parents.
I wish I could spend time with him. I have missed him so much. (Esme)
I want to talk with him. I know he is upset with me for promising Bella. (Carlisle)
I knew I wanted to be with them, they have already suffered a lot due to my silly decisions. As soon as I was in front of our home, Esme opened the door and wrapped me in her motherly arms. I missed you so much. I buried my face in her neck, and let her hold me like a small child.
Look at yourself! How happy you are looking! "How was your day with Bella?" She asked after I removed myself from her embrace and held her at arms length. She sat down with me on a loveseat, and put her confronting hand on mine. I buried my face in her lap and let her treat me like a child.
"It was perfect. She was happy." Esme wanted me to be happy. Nothing else mattered if I was happy.
"But..."
"She still worries that I may leave her again. Even Charlie was so furious with her, due to me, that she had some tears in her eyes. Charlie never yelled at Bella, but because of me she was experiencing Charlie's wrath."
"Shh Edward." She was combing my hair with her hands in a gesture to calm me. "She had been struggling for months, give her some time. Just make her see that you will never ever leave her again." She suggested. "And about Charlie, I guess he also needs some time. It's hard to forgive someone who has hurt your child. Charlie will come around. You just think about Bella." Esme reassured me, still stroking my hair. She is a strong girl Edward, she just needs some time. Please don't be sad. I hate seeing you like this. I want my old Edward back.
One more hand joined Esme's hand on my back, and I didn't have to hear his thoughts to know that he was Carlisle. I straightened myself and Carlisle enveloped me in his embrace. Do you even know what did you put us through for these many days?! And Italy? You owe us better than that! "I swear Edward, if you even think about leaving us ever, you will be grounded in this house." He said in a strict tone, for the first time looking like the three hundred sixty years old Carlisle rather than a twenty three year old man, and definitely looking like my father, not my companion.
"I'd rather die than even think about making any such decision again, dad." I told him sincerely, meaning my every word.
Both of my parents held me between them just like a small child– my one arm was draped over Esme and she had her head on my shoulder, whereas Carlisle was sitting next to me and looking at both me and Esme – not even asking what I did in my isolate months. I was happy to have my family back, but all I wanted was to go to Bella.
"Where is Rosalie?" I asked silently. She was nowhere to be seen, and I was sure that she was not with my other siblings either. Tracking was not her stuff
"Um, Rosalie is at Bella's," Esme answered. I frowned. "looking after her so that nothing happens to her."
I snorted. I cannot believe this. "You should have told her to go with others and not stay there." I said with disgust.
"Edward." Carlisle scolded. "Rosalie went there on her own wish. No one asked her to do that." He informed me. This shocked me. She is more sorrier than we can say. Please forgive her son.
"I know she did wrong –wrong word doesn't even define it properly – but she was trying to solve things in her own way Edward." Esme defended her daughter, "Her heart was in the right place. Don't be harsh on your sister. She is really feeling guilty. She never wanted you to take any such step." Please forgive her Edward.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. It was difficult to feel angry towards Rosalie when they both looked at me like this. "Esme, I know you are worried about her, but what she had done is unforgettable. I know her heart was at right place, but I need some time." I said sternly. I may not forget her soon, but she is my sister. Though her motive was not wrong, but her way was worse.
"As you prefer son." Carlisle said. But remember, the act was unforgettable but not unforgivable. And don't forget that she is your sister. She is really sorry about everything son. Take your time but don't be harsh on her.
"You should go and hunt." Esme broke the silence. "I've never seen your eyes like this. When was the last time you hunted? And what?" I shrugged, not knowing the actual answer myself.
I shrugged. "I really don't remember." Truth to be told, I knew the last thing I hunted was rats, and the last proper hunt I had was when I lost the trail of Victoria in Rio.
This is much worse than we thought. "You are going with Emmett and Jasper, Carlisle will also accompany you." Edward, you should go. You don't want to hurt Bella again.
"I'm not leaving Bella anytime soon. She is my first priority."
Are you sure
"As you prefer." I nodded my thanks at her and turned to my father. "Carlisle, I wanted to talk with you, about something important." Carlisle nodded, asking me to continue. "I am sure you would have seen how does Bella looks like. I want you to check her. Charlie would not throw you out of your house –" I said sarcastically, as I knew he reserved his that behaviour just for me, "– and I know you yourself wanted to talk with Charlie. You can go there, talk with him, and also check on her."
Carlisle thought about it with his finger on his chin. He thought for a second. That's a nice idea Edward. This way I could also make Charlie some less troublesome for you, not that I say he is wrong. I struggled to make my calm facade. Carlisle was right. I deserve much worse than what Charlie is doing to me. If I would have a daughter and if anyone would have done anything like that to her, I would have killed him. I would have thrown him out of the whole town.
All I am saying is that if Esme and I go and talk with him, I am sure he would be less hard towards you.
"That would be nice." I replied. "Do you mind if you go there today."
You know I won't mind it. Actually, even I was thinking the same. I want to have a talk with Charlie and her. He suddenly started remembering the book he was reading before I came. Now, Edward, I wanted to tell you something. I knew what was coming. Carlisle was thinking about it the whole time. He spoke aloud this time to let Esme know what he was saying. "I know you are unhappy with how the things turned up early morning, during the vote, but I want you to know that I am not going to back off. If you have decided not to live without her, and if Bella is ready to accept this life, I don't have any aversion in not giving her what she wants." He declared. Esme nodded, her thoughts synchronized with Carlisle's.
"You have once tried to take matter in your hands Edward." Esme tried to explain me in her motherly strict tone, which she used only a few times – whenever things got out of the way. "Now it's time you respect her choices, and also support her. She needs you the most, son. Let her make the decision. You just have to support her in whatever decision she makes, we would be there for both of you." I nodded and sighed.
Here comes the difficult part!
"I wanted to talk you about this too, Carlisle, Esme. I don't think it would be necessary to put this burden on your shoulder, Carlisle."
"What are you saying Edward? I have promised Bella to change her, and if she still wants that, I will keep my words."
"And I'll make sure you are not forcing her." Esme urged.
"I know Carlisle. It's just that, yesterday, after vote," I hesitated. How to tell your parents that your son had proposed a girl, and she had rejected it. "Um, I made a deal, with Bella... that I would change her myself... on the condition that... –" I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair, "– if she marries me first."
Esme and Carlisle gasped.
Congratulations son. I am so happy for you. You don't have to worry about her change. I will be with you and I won't let anything happen to her.
Oh my! This is the biggest news. "Congratulations Edward." Esme again wrapped her hands around my neck. "I am so happy for you. I knew this was going to happen. Finally my first son would be starting his life properly with his mate."
"Esme, Bella has not yet accepted my proposal," I muttered with a frown and a frustrated sigh. That girl of mine is ready to spend a eternity with me, but not willing to marry me. What will I ever do of her?! "but I hope she does. She said that marriage was not on her list for now."
Well, this was expected. After all Bella is a practical girl. Carlisle.
What?! Why did Bella did this. Is she not ready for a marriage. Or if she said that because he put it as a demand... Esme.
Esme held my face in her hands, and looked in my eyes. "Edward, Bella would come eventually. This is the best moment for anyone's life, and I am sure if you had done it in the proper way, she would have said yes. But try to see from her point of view too. Until tomorrow night, she was under the impression that you don't want her, and just after all her wrong impressions melted, you propose her, and that too as a part of negotiation. That is not the best way. Also, she is coming from a time where marriage is someone not considers until they are thirty, and she has seen the failure of her parents marriage. Again I will say the same, give her time."
I nodded and with that I went upstairs for a bath and change of clothes.
It felt extremely pleasant to enter the warm water and cleaning myself after a long time in my house. While I was washing my hair, I wished Bella was here to wash them. Her warm fingers feel amazing on my cold scalp. So calming. I remembered Bella showering. What would it be like to have her with me for the shower. Will I be able to claim her as my wife ever? She is so sure of me, but at the same time she does not want to be my wife. Marriage is the next step for any relationship, and so it has to be the same for us, right?
But Esme was right. In this century, love and lust doesn't go together. Bella is from a time period where marriage is not considered before thirty. She had also seen the failure of her parents marriage. And not to forget Renee, who have taught her that marriage should not be considered at the age of eighteen. And above all that, it has been just twenty four hours, just one day, when Bella has taken me back. She is still not sure of me in her unconscious mind. When I successfully remove all her fears from her mind, then only I should ask her. I want her to be fully sure of me, that not even her so called best friend can pry her away from me.
I changed in my new clothes and came out of the bathroom.
But what it would have been if I had asked her in the traditional way. The way a man asks her woman, on a knee, in a special moment, in a special place decorated with flowers and candles and gifts.
But Bella is a simple girl. She wouldn't like all that.
No, I would propose her without any gestures, just with a ring and a bended knee, in the traditional style.
Would she have said yes to me then?
Deep inside my heart, I know she would have said yes. Her fears are at one end, but she is not like her mother. Yes, I thought. I should have asked her in the proper way, with a bended knee and a ring.
I went towards my wardrobe and took the small satin box out of it. I slowly opened the box with trembling hands, and looked inside.
Inside it was the ring of my mother, which my father had placed in her hand. She gave it to Carlisle to give it to me in her last moments. The ring had a small thin gold band, above which was an long oval face design sparkling with the tiny diamonds, surrounded by a small gold band holding the gems in place. The diamonds threw light on my hard rock skin, which sparkled in the artificial light of the room. I gently traced the ring with my fingers, and imagined it in Bella's ring finger. With the image of Bella wearing it, I placed it again in the box and kept it in my wardrobe and raced towards Bella.
Edward. Esme thought. I think you may need this. Alice had ordered it for you. Esme handed me a small silver phone with my old number in it.
"Thank you Esme." I kissed her on cheek.
You are very much welcome.
"You may go Edward. We will be arriving there in nearly twenty minutes." Carlisle said from the love seat where he was reading a book.
"Okay. See you there." With that I ran towards my love.
Missed her? Rosalie asked silently from the tree where she was sitting. I was still a few meters away from the house so I was not able to see her.
"You can go now Rosalie. I will handle it from here."
Fine. She muttered with a apology in her voice, and not the usual disgust I was used to.
My parents were right. She was much more sorrier for her act than I could ever think. I sighed loudly. Rosalie was waiting for my response, to see whether I forgive her or not. "I'll meet you later, Rosalie." I told her as bye. She scoffed lightly as she ran away, her head filled with the images of hunting, but I could see that she was hurt that I did not forgave her yet.
I have to make up with her, but not now, as for now, Bella needed me more. Even from a distance I could hear her heart was beating loudly, in an uneven rhythm. What? I asked myself. Why is so afraid. Has she seen Rosalie? Has someone came here? Had she thought I would not came back? Did she fell? I ran as fast as possible, and climbed in her room. I reached the exact time as Charlie was going to tell about what he has decided.
"Bella, you know you're grounded." Charlie started. Once again Bella was suffering due to my doings. She had saved me from killing myself, and in return of that she was being grounded by her father in her own house.
"I know dad."
"You are allowed to go to your work, and school, and to shop groceries, but nowhere else. Not even LaPush." This was a relief. She would be maintaining distance from those beasts.
"But..." she interrupted. I know that... hard for her... Poor kid... That bastard... All his fault... My child... Alice...
"Alice can come and go whenever she wants, she can even stay here for nights, but only her or your any other girlfriends."
Translation : Edward is not yet allowed in this house.
"But dad..."
"Bella, we are not having this argument again." Charlie said in a strict tone. I cannot allow him... Not ever... over my dead body...
"Okay." She resigned. I could see from Charlie's eyes as Bella's shoulders were slumped forward it defeat, but Charlie knew there was no sadness in her eyes, as if last months never happened.
Charlie sighed loudly at her so-forgiving nature. "And for your school, I have told principal about the circumstances and sorted things out for you. All teachers except Mr. Varner have given you an exemption in the test you missed. You will have to work harder in the test this Friday."
"Thank you dad."
"Bella, honey," Charlie murmured in a gentle tone and bent down in front of Bella holding her hand in his. "I cannot afford loosing you. Promise me you will never do any such thing again. I have already lost you many times –" I winced as Charlie remembered the phoenix incident, where once again Bella suffered due to me and the time when Bella never talked to him "– and I don't want to lose you, ever." Bella nodded, but I could see that her throat was thick. She knew it well that she would be breaking this promise if she wants to be changed.
Edward, we are here. Esme thought.
I will bring Bella upstairs after talking with Charlie. Carlisle told me. Esme would try to talk with Charlie about easing up with you.
Downstairs, Charlie was finishing his dinner whereas Bella was cleaning the kitchen in silence. I saw that there was no CD or photos on her bed. Bella must have came upstairs and placed them properly. After two minutes, there was a knock on the door.
"Coming." Bella shouted, and walked towards the door. She stumbled three times in that small distance, and it took all of my will to stay in the chair and not go to her to help her. When she opened the door, I saw through Carlisle's eyes as Bella's face lit up and she smiled brilliantly.
"Hello Bella! It's so nice to see you again after a long time." Esme smiled, and laughed silently. She looks better. Not good, but better than she looked earlier today. Esme observed. I hope she gets enough sleep.
"Esme, Carlisle, what a pleasant surprise." Bella said a little bit overdoing it and Esme held her in her arms. "Come in." She urged.
She was always a terrible actress. My parents smiled and came inside.
"Dr Cullen, Mrs. Cullen." Charlie greeted cautiously. It was clear in his tone that he was blaming them too for all these.
"Hello Charlie. Please call us Carlisle and Esme." Carlisle said and offered his hand and so did Esme. Charlie shook their hands reluctantly.
There was a small uncomfortable silence till they made their way in the living room. "I didn't expect you here." Charlie told a little coldly.
"We know. Actually we were here to see Bella." Esme told him after she sat in the loveseat with Carlisle while Charlie and Bella sat on the chairs.
"And I know we don't deserve your forgiveness, but I would like to see Bella, as her personal doctor, before I go to hospital. So here we are." Carlisle added, and there was no way one could not hear the sorrow, the sadness in his voice.
They talked about random things for a few minutes. Charlie was talking with Carlisle animatedly, but he was having a close observation on Bella, who was taking with Esme. Charlie could see how happy Bella is. Esme and Carlisle also saw him looking at Bella constantly.
Poor Charlie. Esme thought as she talked with Charlie. Her thoughts were kind and full of sympathy for Charlie.
I can see that Bella's nightmares have affected Charlie too, and that to a great extent. He hadn't slept too well on these months, I can say that. He had also lost some weight, minor, but he did lose.
For the first time since my comeback, I noticed Charlie clearly through Carlisle. He had big dark circles around his eyes, and wrinkles on his face. He was looking too old for his age.
I felt more sorry for him. He had suffered a lot these past months. In trying to save Bella, I not only wounded her, but also hurt Charlie beyond imagination.
Carlisle cleared his throat and turned towards Bella. "Bella, can I talk to you?"
Before Bella could say anything, Charlie said. "Carlisle, before you see Bella, I would like to talk with both of you, if you don't mind." He asked.
"We would love to." Esme replied sweetly. Bella took this as her cue to come back to the room.
"I'll be in my room. Carlisle. After you talk, you can come upstairs to look after me." Bella suggested as she made her way towards the stairs.
As soon as Bella was in the room, I took her in my arms, and breathed in her intoxicating scent. She greeted me in the same way. I kissed her head and rested my chin on her head
"Hey."
"Hey to you too." I pulled her towards the rocking chair, and she sat on my lap.
"How was it with Charlie?" I asked as I started rocking us both.
"You tell, I know you were here when he was telling me all my new rules of being grounded." She frowned. I know she was teasing me, but I could not help but feel responsible being her held as a prisoner in her own house.
"I am so sorry Bella. You were trying to save me from my stupid mistake, and look what you got in return. You are being held in your own house. I am so sorry love. I know –" She suddenly pressed her lips against mine and thus stopping my apology in mid.
I reflexively tried to kiss her back but she pulled back immediately and looked in my eyes. "Edward, you are right. Look what I got in return for saving you." She smiled and cupped my face in both her hands. "I got you back, and if for that I have to be grounded for the rest of my life, I am more than willing to take that trade." This time she kissed me and pulled back again. "Edward, you are what I want, what I need, and being grounded means we get to spend more time in my room. Isn't this a good thing." She asked with a brilliant smile.
I was more than numb.
Here I was telling her how guilty I am to make her suffer, and on the other hand, she is seeing the good even in this situation. Even though she knows I am a monster, and I am no good for her, she was willing to be grounded to be with me.
She was amazing. There was no other word to describe my love.
"How did I ever got lucky to get you." I asked as I cupped her face, and brought my lips to hers. Her reaction was as usual the same. Her heart skipped a beat and then picked up pace, her breathing grew faster, and her pupils got diluted. I breathed on her face when my lips were just half inch away from here and kissed her. She pulled herself more closer to me, and tried to pull my head more closer to hers by pulling my hair.
I gently broke the kiss – as always. She pouted – as always.
Day by day, it was becoming more difficult to resist her. Her blood was nowhere in my mind, but her body was another story. Here she was sitting on my lap, her head against my neck, her one hand draped on my neck, while her other hand tracing the veins of my elbow, her warm breath over my neck, it was too much. I needed to divert my attention. I listened to the talk between our parents as a diversion.
"I hope you're right Esme. I don't want to lose her." I didn't even... proper time with her... just a child... always away... now grownup...
I wish I could convince Bella to give me more time.
I wish I could tell Charlie that he had a little time left with his only daughter, if she continued with her graduation plan.
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