I've only done my ugly cry on special occasions. And this? This was a special occasion so I was allowed to. I turned to Spencer when she squeezed my hand, after I finally calmed down enough to think. "I'm here," She said. I took Paris from my mother and walked towards Ezras coffin. The church was empty. His funeral service was done and I've requested to spend a few more minutes with him. "Ezra," I put my hand in his cold and lifeless one. "I love you. You're my forever. I promise, your daughter - our daughter, will know you. She'll love you more than anything in this world. Please don't forget to watch over her," I said. "And haunt the boys that break her heart," I smiled and looked at Hanna. She stood beside me, "Dont worry, Fitzy, we're here to help them. We'll do the best we can. I promise," Hanna held up her hand. "And I promise to make sure she's always on the right path in terms of her academics," Spencer held up her hand. "Hi Ezra, Emily here," Em walked up to the bottom of the coffin, "and I promise to always be the one whos there for her when she needs advice or just someone to listen to her," She patted the coffin. "We promise to beat up whoever hurts her," Caleb stepped beside Hanna and nudged Toby. By now I had tears running down my cheeks. "Come on. With you guys doing everything, what am I supposed to do?" I sulked. "You've gotta keep the memory of her dad alive. The biggest and most important thing in her life." Spencer smiled. Even though everyone knew Ezra couldn't hear them, they said those things anyway. It was definitely a reassurance to me. I needed to hear it. "On behalf of Ezra, I thank you guys," I said. They came in for a group hug. "Mrs. Fitz. We can't wait any longer, we need to take the body down to the cemetery now," Phillip, the guy who helped me arrange this entire thing, said. I nodded. "I LOVE YOU," I knelt down to his ear and whispered.
Spencer drove us to the cemetery. Paris wriggled in Hannas arms and Hanna freaked out. "She's hungry," I sighed. I took her from Hanna and lifted my shirt to feed her. She immediately latched on and her whimpering stopped. I sat back and thought about Ezra. I need to be strong for our princess, it won't be easy but I need to. Soon we were in Ravenswood, ready to bury Ezra. Spencer parked the car and helped me out. She took Paris as Hanna and my mom stood by my side. "Come," Ella said to me. I couldn't move. I froze. "Ar, as much as you don't want this to happen, it needs to and eventually it will. No matter how long you stand here, frozen, everything will happen. And through it all, look around you, we're here." Spencer gave me a mini pep talk. I nodded and slowly made my way to the burial site.
"I'm gonna shower," I said to the girls as soon as we walked into my house. "I'll run a bath for Paris while you do that," Emily said. She followed me upstairs. I walked into my room and she went into Paris'. After taking a quick shower, I made my way into the room next door to find Hanna struggling with a diaper, Spencer taking a call and Emily in the little en-suit. I sniffled and tried to look as strong as I could muster then walked in. "I also struggled the first few times," I smiled at Hanna and held out my hand for her to give me the diaper. She sighed and handed it to me then stepped aside. I showed her how to put it on then I picked Paris from her changing table and handed her to Hanna. She followed me into the closet. "It's cold tonight," I said aloud. "This should be sufficient," I reached for a grey woollen jumper and gave it to her. "That was my mom. She insisted on bringing over food," Spencer said.
After supper we went to bed or at least attempted to. Emily spent the night in my room. She was woken by the cries of Paris at 11pm. "I've got her," She said. "No. I've got her. I have the milky boob, remember?" I asked. She laughed a little then went back to sleep, seeing that she really didn't have an argument there. "We've slept for a total of three minutes," She exaggerated the next morning. "I'll take the next shift," Spencer said. "You guys really don't have to," I put Paris into her cot in the living room. Hanna flipped the last pancake onto a large plate and set it at the middle of the table. Spencer then placed a tray of bacon next to the bowl of strawberries. "Dig in," Spencer smiled. I had no appetite but was too polite to say so. I placed a pancake and strawberries in my plate then Emily glanced over at me and put about three pieces of banana on my pancake. "And when you're done, you're gonna have bacon," She instructed. I acknowledged her but planned on not doing what she said. "I was thinking," I started. Hanna groaned, "I know that voice. She's kicking us out." I shook my head, "Not kicking you out, its just that I can manage on my own now." "That's the polite way of saying you're kicking us out," Spencer waved her fork around as she chewed on her bacon. I shrugged, "Really, I'll be okay. Besides, Ellas here almost every day. I promise to give you guys a shout if I need help," I smiled. "You can stay for Paris' one week party I'm having tomorrow," I told them in hopes of them feeling better. "Sure. But a one week party? haven't heard of that," Hanna said. "It's something small. A lots been going on, we need something to bring us all together and lift our spirits a bit. We can have a dinner party. Kind of. If you want you can get your parents to come," I suggested. "My mom's leaving with Ted tonight. They're going to California," Hanna informed me. "I'll ask my parents," Spencer said. Emily nodded and added that she will as well. Spencer stood to clean up when I heard Paris crying. "I've got her," Hanna jumped up from her seat and darted towards Paris. "Get ready, we're going to the park," Spencer said to me. "Do we have to?" I asked and put my plate in the dishwasher. "Yes. Now go," She shooed me out of the kitchen.
After the dinner party I put Paris down to sleep while I had a quick shower. My dad helped me move my bed against the wall earlier. I positioned Paris between myself and the wall and started feeding her. "She's exactly what I wanted and more," I heard a voice. I looked towards the bedroom door. "You know, She looks more like you than me," I whispered, Careful not to wake her up. "Absolutely not. Look," Ezra pointed at Paris, "She has your nose. Lips. Chin," he started listing. I cut him off, "She has your hair, fingers, complexion, eyebrows," I smiled. "Okay okay. I think we can agree that she is the mixture of us both," he sighed and lay next to Paris. "Obviously. I would be surprised if she looked like Spencer or something," "oh you think you're smart huh," he got to my side of the bed and started tickling me. "Ezra. Stop," I hit him playfully, "Stop or our daughter will get crushed," I giggled. "You've got me," He said and backed away. "Want a glass of water? I'm getting some for me," he asked and headed towards the bedroom door. I nodded, "Yes please."
A/N. This is a short chapter as compared to the last. Aria starts imagining Ezra being there...what happens next?