A BRIEF AND SOMEWHAT STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Whilst the plotline and its components are in essence my own, the characters and dynamics belong solely to Ms Stephenie Meyer.
Here's the second chapter. Again, please let me know what you think. I really want to know if I'm doing OK with this.
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Chapter 2 – New Life
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There was nothing. No fire, no pain, and no pulse. It was over. I opened my eyes.
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It was like looking through a lens. Everything was so clear, defined. I could see everything. Everything there was to see. Above my head the leaves waved back and forth in a light breeze, the sunlight shining through them, creating a kaleidoscope of colour and patterns that I had never imagined. I could see the movement of every leaf, every twig, every speck of dust that danced in the sunlight. My mouth fell open in wonder.
I inhaled in a sharp gasp, and was instantly overwhelmed by the scents of my surroundings, which I perceived by both taste and smell. The particles in the air spoke to me of a million different things; wood, and rot, and moss that covered the tree trunks, small rodents burrowing deep under the ground, wildflowers and grass from the meadow, and the scent of pure, clean water from the stream nearby. At the same time I was acutely aware of a dry, burning sensation in my throat. I was pretty sure I knew what that meant, but ignored it for the time being.
I strained my ears, and listened to every movement around me; the leaves brushing against each other, the far off beating of birds' wings as they glided overhead, the bubbling of the stream, the scurrying of insects in the debris of the woodland floor. There was so much. I would have struggled to take it all in before, been stunned by the sheer amount of information my senses could recognise, but realised I didn't have to think about it at all. Even my mind was changed; it took it all in, processing it whilst leaving more than enough room for spare thought. Which was lucky, as I realised I had a lot that I needed to think about now.
The beauty of my surroundings couldn't distract me from the horror of what had happened. What I had practically brought upon myself by my own stupidity. I was a vampire.
I couldn't help but be struck by the irony. Only 6 months ago I would have given anything to be a vampire. But a lot had changed in 6 months. Back then, becoming a vampire had meant so much more than mere immortality. It meant a family, a future, and the love of my life. Back then those things had made it seem worthwhile, regardless of what I was leaving behind. Now I was alone, and the things I was leaving behind were my entire life. Charlie, Renee, Jake... I was going to hurt them so much, and I couldn't even say goodbye...
No I couldn't even do that much. My knowledge of newborn vampires was practically none existent - Edward had refused to ever discuss it, and he had made Alice promise not to tell me anything. But one thing I knew for sure was that self-control was an acquired skill, and a difficult one at that. I thought back to my 18th birthday, whilst cringing at the emotional pain the memory brought with it, and saw Jasper leaping towards me, his teeth snapping inches away from my face. I saw Esme running from the room holding her hand over her mouth, and Edward crouching over me, unable to breathe for fear of killing me. If it was that hard for them, after all those years of practice, then I knew I was going to struggle. I needed help, but there was no one to help. I was alone.
Pain gripped me again; the familiar pain that had been echoing inside me for months, but it seemed even more intense in my new body. I scrunched my eyes shut and cringed back into the soil. A tingling feeling started behind my eyelids, as my eyes tried to produce the tears that my body was now incapable of. How was I ever going to stop thinking of him now I was like this? It was a reminder I didn't need.
I sighed and sprang to my feet. The movement felt effortless, and for the first time I wondered at the physical aspects of my transformation. I still didn't know enough about my new life.
I started walking through the forest, away from the meadow. I couldn't bear to look at it now. I didn't belong there anymore. I was changed.
As I walked I thought about what to do next. I felt a great sadness for the pain I was going to cause my family and friends. They would never know what had happened to me, and I could never let them know that I was alive. But there was nothing I could do about that now.
I wondered where I would go. I had no money, and in any case I didn't know if it would be safe for me to go back to areas where humans were. If I was going to make a start in this new life I was going to do it properly. I would be a good vampire, a vegetarian. I smiled sadly at the Cullen's old nickname. I found I could think about them now without too much pain. Not all of them of course, but still I could recall most of them, their words and faces, without breaking down completely. After all, I wasn't that different from them any more.
The burning feeling in my throat was more noticeable now. I supposed that meant I was... thirsty. I shuddered, but I was going to have to get used to this if I was determined to do this right.
I started to run, deeper into the forest. I didn't want to be anywhere near humans when I started hunting. I remembered his words in the cafeteria; a distant and blurred memory, but still discernible.
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"When we hunt," he spoke slowly, unwillingly, "we give ourselves over to our senses… govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that way…"
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I hadn't needed him to finish. I could imagine it all too easily. So I knew that whilst I was hunting would be the worst time for me to run into a human. I ran faster, amazed at the speed and grace that came naturally to me now. Not once did I have to look down to prevent myself from tripping. The ground felt smooth beneath my hiking boots, with no obstacles. I didn't have to focus to avoid trees or ditches; it was a natural as breathing. When I had gone about 5 miles I stopped abruptly and listened.
I could hear the subtle movements of a herd of animals, and my new mind told me that they were about a quarter of mile away. The thudding of their pulse echoed in my ears, and the burning in my throat intensified. My mouth felt baked dry. But I didn't move. As crazy as it was, I suddenly felt nervous.
I realised I had no idea how to do this. I didn't know how to hunt, how to be a vampire, good or bad. Humanity was all I knew. I took deep breaths to calm my panic, and registered the scent of the herd. Deer. I realised it wasn't exactly appetising either, rather like broccoli compared to chocolate. I grimaced. Great. An eternity of vegetables. But I could imagine all too well what would be the most appetising smell, and I wasn't having it. If I was going to do this then I was going to do it right.
I took a few more deep breaths, and his voice echoed in my mind. This wasn't the clear voice of my delusions, only the weak memory of his spoken words so long ago. "We give ourselves over to our senses…" That was what he had said.
So I stopped thinking about it, breathed through my nose and let the unappealing scent pull me forward. I flew towards it silently, running lightly over the uneven ground. I circled silently around the herd, crouched, and leapt, my teeth clamping around the neck of the lead male as I tackled him to the ground. The rest of the herd scattered as my teeth slashed through the skin and sinew effortlessly.
It wasn't particularly tasty, but it did the job. The pain in my throat was soothed to a numb heat, not absent but muted. I straightened up from my crouch over the deer's body and frowned. I'd managed to get blood all down the front of my jacket, and I could see it on my hands. I was a mess.
I caught the sound of trickling water nearby and went to clean up. After washing my hands and face I took off my jacket and rinsed it out. I managed to get out most of the blood, and hung it on a nearby branch to dry. The day was cool but sunny and windy. Whilst I was waiting I sat down and leant my back against a tree; out of habit really, I didn't find myself tired from standing in one place. My thoughts returned to the matter of my next actions. I couldn't avoid humanity forever, but I was scared of losing control. I knew eventually I'd have to face it, but I didn't like the idea of gambling my determination on someone's life.
I also realised I didn't want to live alone for my entire existence. It definitely wasn't an appealing idea; a lifetime of solitude. But where could I go? I thought briefly about hunting for the Cullen's, but quickly ruled it out. They'd made it very clear they were bored with me, and I certainly wasn't going to force my company on them.
I could hunt for other vampires, but from what I could deduce that would be difficult. I knew that most were nomads that constantly moved about. They couldn't settle in one place due to their...diet. Besides, I didn't know how welcome I'd be, or how I be able to keep up being a vegetarian surrounding by those who hunted humans daily. I shuddered.
I didn't want to live near humans until I knew I wasn't a danger. So what option did that leave me with?
An tentative idea started to form. I couldn't face humans, not yet, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of finding vampires who weren't vegetarians. But the Cullens weren't the only ones out there, were they? I focused on another blurry human memory.
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"We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska .We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live...differently tend to band together."
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I ignored the pain that accompanied the recall. There were more important things to focus on. I had another option, another family who might take me in, or at least help me understand some of the changes I had gone through. It wasn't the best idea; they might just slam the door in my face, but it was the best I had at the moment. I got to my feet, and retrieved my jacket from the tree branch. It was still stained and damp but I didn't want to leave it lying around for someone to find. It would dry whilst I was running. I pulled the compass that I'd brought with me, several days and a lifetime ago now, from my jeans pocket. I glanced at it briefly, and started to run north, heading for Alaska.
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I really enjoyed writing this bit. It took me forever to be happy with it; I was trying to get it to accurately reflect Stephenie Meyer's descriptions, but I'm really pleased with the way it turned out. I'm going to be on holiday for the next week, so although I'll be able to write the next couple of chapters I can't publish until July. Watch this space, and please let me know how you think I'm doing! Tchau!
