I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! Gosh, it's been long hasn't it? Sorry, school has been taking up too much of my time. Being a Dance Production Representative and a Debate member takes it out of you, you know? Anyway, On ward!
Disclaimer: I don't own glee, though I do miss it like crazy
I TAKE REQUEST SO SEND AWAY!
"Gather troops" Kurt heard Puck say from the outside. He let out a low groan and rolled over, trying to get back to his dream where he was being serenaded by Zac Efron. But he continued to hear voices from the outside. Damn, he hated himself for being such a light sleeper.
He suddenly heard his zipper/door being opened; the voices outside growing louder and louder.
"Whatever you're doing" Kurt said incredibly irritated "Stop it! It's too early in the morning"
"Wait! Seize fire! He's one of us is he not?" asked Artie in an army general voice
"Kurt Hummel!" Finn said mimicking Artie's tone "We team, Cobra, call onto you aid for battle"
"Wait" said Mike "I thought we were team Alpha?"
"We'll get to that later" Puck said impatiently "Join us Hummel! And together we shall fight"
Kurt opened his eyes to see Puck in full army make-up extending his hand to him. The sun was shining behind him, giving him a god-like glow. His face ecstatic and smiling, like a seven year old in a sugar rush. Kurt had to admit, it was pretty cute.
Wait, erase that thought
He looked at Kurt expectantly and asked "Are you man or not?"
Not knowing what to do, Kurt took his warm hand ant let Puck drag him out of his tent, slightly disoriented. Kurt looked around to see all the guys, except Mister Schue, still dressed in their PJs, holding water guns and in full army makeup.
"Wha?"
"We're declaring war with the girl" Finn said in an army voice "For they have taken our honor"
"Huh?"
"They said all guys were clueless idiots" Matt explained in an undertone
"So are you going to join us, Kurt Hummel?" Puck the sergeant general asked.
Kurt, though still a bit confused, thought for a moment. Would he rather be dry while shooting cold water to someone like Rachel who probably caused the whole thing or soaking wet, his silk Armani night wear stained?
DUH.
"I'll join you" he said, causing all the guys to cheer
"Okay, here's the plan; Matt you get Santana, Mike you take Brittney, Finn you'll get Quinn, I'll take on Mercedes and Kurt you get Rachel.
"Here" Finn said, handing him a water gun.
"To your stations!" Puck whispered-shouted to them
"Ready?" Finn asked, opening the zipper of Quinn's tent "Aim. FIRE!"
Kurt looked at Rachel's sleeping figure
Should I feel bad?
He gazed at what she was wearing; a red night gown with a unicorn in the middle
No great loss there he thought and fired away, waking Rachel from her slumber.
Calm yourself, Rachel. This is part of the plan remember.
Of course it was part of Rachel's -okay everyone's- brilliant plan awesomely called 'G.K.A.P.T.C.T.A.P.F.E.O.T.J.W.N.I.' (Get Kurt and Puck Together Cause They Are Perfect for Each Other They Just Won't Notice It) she just had to wait for it to fall into place. So being the great thespian she is, she dramatically wrenched her eyes open and looked at Kurt with irritation.
"Kurt?What the heck?"
"We declared war!" Kurt said in his own army voice "FOR HONOR!"
"FOR HONOR!" The guys echoed
"I'll give you honor" Rachel said, scrambling to get up
Kurt let out a shriek of laughter and ran, shouting "Retreat!"
Kurt thought for a moment. Where can he hide?
Tent?
No, they'll trample me.
Port-o-potty
No. Period.
Trees!
Kurt ran to the trees as the other guys scrambled to hide too, apparently girls DO NOT want to be woken up by shooting cold water at them.
But Kurt wasn't the only one who thought to hide there.
"So you have a hard time climbing trees and yet you climb one when you're trying to hide from girls who want to kill you" mused a voice
"It's like we don't even have to try" Mercedes sniggered to Rachel as they watched Puck helped Kurt up the tree they climbed the night before. They gave each other a small high-5 and turned to the glee club behind them.
"Okay, guys you should hide first so it'll be realistic, girls come with me" Rachel said a smile on her face. I'm such a genius, she thought.
"Stupid damn tree" Kurt said as he surveyed his night polo, tree bark stains all over them.
"Hey don't insult the tree!" Puck said a bit offended
"Are you actually defending the tree?"
"Well, it's not even Paul's fault and you're blaming him"
"Paul?"
"Yeah. He looks like a Paul"
"How do you even know it's a boy?"
"Well, he doesn't give of a girl vibe you know?"
Kurt shot Puck a 'WTF?' look and said "You have a habit of naming inanimate objects, don't you?"
"I was an only child for 12 years. What do you expect?"
Before Kurt could retort, Rachel's voice floated to them
"Oh, you guys can come down now" she said in a false sweet voice "We won't hurt you"
"As if"
"Yeah" Quinn said "What we have planned won't come until much later"
Puck looked at Kurt. "What we'll get will happen anyway. Might as well get some breakfast along with it"
"Fine. Help me down"
"Well" Mister Schue said "Now that breakfast is eaten. I think it's time for our nature walk. Partner up"
Everyone's partner was obvious. Everyone except Mercedes, who picked Rachel.
"Okay seeing as you both are left; Puck, Kurt you partner up"
Rachel and Mercedes silently squealed excitedly. Plan B, complete they thought
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