Three of Hearts
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, it would be pointless to sue me for using these characters because apparently, I'm too broke for words. You know the basic rule, I don't own and I only borrow.
Chapter II: Renewal
She didn't just deliberately fail to hear him out; to add insult to injury, she asked him to finish the paper work for her, since he had nothing better to do but rant.
He didn't know how he plunged into this pit in the first place, let alone to obey her without so much as a word of protest. He remembered her back turned to his as she disappeared to the doorway, perhaps to attend to something of greater significance. As if on impulse, he slowly reached for the file, bounced his eyes up and down the paper in the meager hope of finishing the report, i.e., of doing what he was told. All around him, he could easily mark the perspicacity with which everything was arranged; the alphabeticized hard-bound copies of the reports, the tasteless decorative pieces of furniture, the whitewashed walls, the dustless shelves. This, of course, was as intimidating and new to him as his current plight was. And as all new things to him went, he didn't bother to greet them with warm welcome.
He thought of so many things within that swift passage of time, there in the most unlikely place of his new captain's office. He thought of his friends, the old members of the now dissolved Ninth Division and with this thought came a stabbing pain of recognition. In a way, he promised them a bright career, not to be dissipated like this, marginalized somewhere, against their will and without prior knowledge. They didn't deserve this. It wasn't meant to be this way. But then, what choice did they leave him with? At this point, death indeed seemed to be more attractive than the options fate had provided him.
Morning was already past its rising stage when he woke up. Far away, or else his ears were malfunctioning, he could hear a soft rustle. He lifted his head up, slightly, slowly, as if still unwilling to thoroughly detach himself from the sleeping world. Through blurred eyes he could detect a movement, particularly that of someone who was taking pains not to disturb him in his sleep. He then scratched his eyes for a clearer view. That's when he learned that he was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.
"Had your beauty sleep?"
It was her. She was donning her combat wardrobe sans the white overgrown vest and the long sleeves. Under the light that sifted through the partly opened window, she looked halfway calm, self-possessed as she was last night. Or was it last night? How long exactly had he been splat on the captain's desk? He looked at her for answers but she already wheeled around to approach the filing cabinet where she dropped a folder or two in the first drawer from the top. Her slender back was revealing, spotless, unclothed. It took a mighty effort for Shuuhei not to so steadily gaze at it.
"I didn't come back here to check on you last night. I thought you'd have the sense to take a break." She stopped and turned around again to face him. Her face typically betrayed no emotion.
"I haven't finished it yet." Shuuhei said.
"It's been taken care of. You can go back to your flat to rest. I'd have you called when I need you." She said. It was undoubtedly an order, reeking of urgency to be accomplished.
Without another word, Shuuhei left. Out in the open, he indulged himself, if only for a while, on fresh air. So much time had passed then and who knew if the seconds stretched to eternity, if the distance between him and the dream he so delicately nourished hadn't grown galactically distant. For all the world knew, he'd be pretty much dead once he was reassigned as vice captain. Life had shown so much cruelty lately that nothing seemed impossible anymore, that it seemed there was no longer a limit to how mean it could get.
At this time of the day, he was prone to remember, count and even rationalize the things he was willing to do for him. At times, his head would ache, not knowing when and how to stop thinking about him. At times, he was in no condition or mood to do these things for him. At times, it just seemed wrong. But wrong or right, in mood or not, he would do these self-same things for him, faithfully, inwardly fawningly. Because this was none other what his reason dictated, and no kind of validation was ever needed to further prove how right his reasons were.
He produced the small note from his side pocket, lifting it between his fingers against the white sunlight, from which angle the paper would appear more transparent, thus revealing in part the inky script on it. It always said the same thoughtful thing in essence, varying only slightly in terms of phrasing. A more open-minded, less principled person would've easily called it a love letter while others would prefer to view it as something less romantic, merely camaraderie-based affectation.
To Renji, however, friendly or no, this letter was offensive, no less, no more. And if, by some freak of fate, he managed to pluck up the courage to finally give his captain a piece of his mind, he'd tell him flat out to stop composing such heinous, humiliating cheesiness.
As the case stood though, Renji, by nature, was submissive to Kuchiki Byakuya, and whatever pleased the latter, he would do, without an ounce of hesitation.
He was midway to the Second Division's Headquarters when he spotted Hisagi Shuuhei, who was apparently in the gradual process of walking out of the building. Renji hurried to him.
"Shuuhei-sempai!"
"Eh? Renji? What are you doing here so early?"
"Some shit delivery." Renji frowned. "Hey, listen; no offense, but I hate your new captain."
"Tell me about it." Shuuhei mumbled disinterestedly. He wondered who on earth would be able to like someone like Soi Fon, guts and all.
"Yeah, well, it's great to hear we're on the same boat. What have you got against her anyway? I mean, never mind that. Thing is, Byakuya's asking me to hand this note over to her. He does that almost every morning and I'm this close to getting sick."
Shuuhei raised his eyebrows. He doubted if Byakuya was ever capable of making Renji sick, or if Renji would ever be sick of him. At any rate, Renji continued,
"I can now say with authority that this is going beyond what's right." Renji said knowingly.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The letters, Shuuhei! You'd think something fishy is really going on. And what's more, IF captain's NOT hiding anything, he would've asked me or anyone on the team to censor the letters. But no! He doesn't do any of that sort; he just goes on writing personal shit like this." Renji growled in a voice that was becoming uproarious and scandalous.
"What personal shit?" At this point, Renji had managed to tickle Shuuhei's dormant curiosity.
"You'll see," Renji casually raised the folded note against the sunlight. Slowly becoming visible were the prints and from where Shuuhei stood, he could make up some words…words of what must've been called affection. It was Renji who broke Shuuhei from the spell, "Don't try to decipher them now; I happen to know them all by heart. It's either my captain is asking your captain to take care or asking her to really take care or asking her to really, really take care because he's worried or something. It's always the same old tired crap, trust me."
"Well, that's friendly." Shuuhei said quietly. It never crossed him that Byakuya would be willing to appear so affectionate to another person.
"A little too friendly, don't you think?!" Renji almost yelled. Neither of them noticed that he was shaking the note in all directions, causing it to be crumpled and somewhat lose its scent. "What's the point, I would like to know, of constantly writing letters like this if my captain, and your captain for that matter, are just simply, plainly friends? What's this 'take care of yourself; I wouldn't know what to do if something happens to you shit'? which, by the way, is only slightly better than 'I love you'? Shuuhei, it's just sick!"
"What is?" Shuuhei managed to utter amidst the clamor Renji was making. He was ready to let the question go when,
"Them!" Renji wrung his hair. To say that he was upset would've been a criminal understatement. "Know what, Hisagi-sempai? I hate your bitch!"
"You know what, Abarai? She's not my bitch; she's probably somebody else's bitch and for all we know, she's your captain's bitch. So please stop blithering!"
Renji froze. It took a few soundless moments before the words registered. He never really prepared himself for this kind of reality; to him, it was just one of those things you don't anticipate, because doing so is a form of acknowledgement. The acknowledgement of defeat, though from what, it was hard to say.
"Renji, mate, you know, this is the part when you tell me what your problem is with them…together."
For a split second, something red and menacing flashed on Renji's eyes. It didn't take too long either before he erupted and blared, "I'm gonna step on that midget! It's really pretty easy, you see, all I have to do is lift my foot an inch from the ground and slam! Midget flattened, mission accomplished! I'm gonna Bankai that bitch! You wanna watch, Hisagi? I'll give you front row tickets!"
Seeing that his friend had gone over and beyond normal hysterics, Shuuhei shook him. Or tried to. "Renji, get a grip, will you? Easy on the jealousy."
Unexpectedly, Renji was transported back to normal mode. "What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Saying? Did you just say the J word? Who's jealous of that midget? I'm six-foot-two."
"If you're not jealous, this must be just a sad case of psychosis, neh?" Shuuhei said sarcastically. "And what's with this name-calling? I'd've thought you were more mature than that. Plus, it's not like your best friend Rukia is taller than my captain. And I'm quite sure you're pretty fond of Rukia." Shuuhei muttered. He had no idea why he was standing in defense of Soi Fon now.
"Well, I can't vouch for that; Rukia's a midget too. It's not like I can change that. There's a fine line between cute midgets and bitchy midgets, as you oughta know." Renji stated.
Shuuhei sighed exasperatedly, point taken, yet never bothering to find out why Renji was so resolved to call Soi Fon such names. At least in my case, Shuuhei thought, I have valid reasons. "Okay, this is going nowhere. Cut the crap about your midget talk. And besides, there's no law against captains dating. And knowing Soi Fon and Byakuya, well, it isn't likely that they'd break any rules. Hence, whatever they're doing should be legitimate, or at least no written law has been released to forbid it."
"Well, then, I'm going to find that covenant that says captains shouldn't date!" Renji said, accompanied by a bout of freaky shivers. If Renji hadn't yet been assigned to some psycho asylum, Shuuhei would so like to find out why.
"You're not going to find any. Seriously." Shuuhei said. He could've said that captains dated before and ended up marrying each other but realized that his safety was under threat of Renji's now glowing anger and frustration. In an effort to quell the other, he said, "Listen, I'll take the letter to Soi Fon---"
"Argh!" Renji was staring open-mouthed at the letter, or what was left of it. It was now severely crumpled as if it was chewed and spat out by some sharp-toothed carnivore. The fonts were all blotted out and the only evidence of their being there before was this flat black puddle of indefinite shape. "It's…"
"Give me that." Shuuhei snatched the paper away from Renji. "For now I'll do you the kindness of delivering this…this ruined note to her. Be glad that I don't bother very much with lowlife crimes like reading other people's private letters. God, sometimes you just have no idea how thin the ice you're skating on is."
Renji mouthed out some words in panic. In the end, all he managed was to stutter, "But, but—"
"Renji, just consider yourself lucky I'm not the ratting type. Now leave the rest to me, go back to your captain and tell him you're done." With that, Shuuhei went back to the building.
As he hurtled his way back to the captain's chamber he tried to compose some sound excuses as to why the letter came to be in this pathetic state. If Renji was even halfway reliable or even honest, Shuuhei should truly be worried now; because if it was true that Byakuya communicated with Soi Fon through letters on a regular basis, if it was unfortunately true that something indeed was going on between the two captains, then, it would be a big deal for either camp to find out that the letters were being tampered with. And who knows what Soi Fon's anger could be capable of?
Shuuhei reached the door of Soi Fon's office, his hesitation increasingly taking over and not sliding down a bit. Twisting the doorknob, he was instantly confronted by the reality that came in the form of Soi Fon's rather redoubtable expression, or merely lack thereof. What it boiled down to is that, he and Renji were done for.
"Captain,"
"Yes, Hisagi?"
"There's been a problem, uhm, some petty interruption along the way," he halted to take a peek at Soi Fon's reaction; there was only a little change to it, perhaps toward irritation or some other. "A letter from Kuchiki Byakuya arrived this morning and—"
"From Byakuya-kun? Where is it?" Soi Fon's voice was suddenly light as though something sweet just pulled her out of a dark, deep reverie. She was instinctively outstretching her hand in much the same manner a little child would receive a long-awaited present.
Shuuhei wordlessly passed the inappropriately pleated note to her. He was expecting her to burst out any second now, to question the vandalized appearance of the note in maximum volume. But by the way she looked at that particular instant, it seemed clear that her mind was far away from noticing how very crumpled and ruined it was. Her lips were breaking into an almost unseen, subconscious smile but her eyes, her eyes reflected all the joy from within. Shuuhei looked at her in bafflement, surprise, and perhaps in positive amazement. He knew now that what he feared in her, all along, is that how beautiful she really was, and if he only could break through the fog of her mystery, by which he was now mesmerized, he would.
In another time and world, he could've fallen madly in love with her.