Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; just my OCs.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated first and foremost to my friend Jime-kun for serving as Kasu's main inspiration. Domo arigato! XD Also to Cherry Blossom Haiku; thanks for reviewing, Alerting and Favoriting! And to KiraUzamaki; thanks for reviewing, Alerting and Favoriting also! And to SnowStorm752; thanks for reviewing and Alerting! Finally, to S.O.S.-girls; thank you for reviewing and Alerting! You guys all rock!! :D
Chapter Two: Of Sarcasm and Sleep Deprivation
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"Well, I don't wanna rub it in, Saki, but…"
"Don't say it," I warned Kasu.
"You asked for it," Ika finished for him bluntly.
"….You better hightail it now," I muttered, "because as soon as Touko lets me out of this, I'm going to hunt you both down and use you for target practice."
Kasu shrugged apologetically and scampered. Ika followed him, pausing only once to turn and wave at me.
So here I was, sitting in the middle of the woods, in the dark no less, and unable to leave.
After apologizing to Sakura, Jumpsuit Boy and the emo kid, Touko had taken us aside and proceeded to administer the most scorching, livid lecture in shinobi history. I got the brunt of most of it, but Ika and Kasu were singed as well for not stopping me earlier.
Then she walked us deep into the woods, sat me down on a jagged rock, and used some kind of Earth-Style jutsu to make tree roots slither out of the ground and tie me firmly to the rock.
"No fair!" I yelped. "How do you know Earth-Style?!"
"Pet project of mine," she replied, still fuming. And without another word, she had stormed off with steam all but pouring out of her ears. Ika and Kasu hadn't stayed much longer.
And now it was getting very dark.
In this world, there are three things I dislike immensely: ramen (gag), cats (I'm allergic…really allergic), and the dark. I'm not scared of the dark, of course; it just makes me uneasy. I can't see anything; everything's so quiet, and…ugh.
How long am I going to be out here? I wondered, with a twinge of what I refused to acknowledge as fear. Knowing how long it can take Touko to cool off….I'd say a while. Great.
"Katon no Jutsu!"
What was that?! I started to panic; I would've jumped three feet in the air if Touko's stupid jutsu hadn't been preventing it. Okay, so I was a little jumpy-sue me! Here I was, stuck to a rock in the middle of a deep forest I knew nothing about, in the freaking dark, and now some disembodied voice was yelling weird words. Yeah, no reason to freak out.
Split seconds after the echo of the voice faded, an orange light bloomed from the same direction, burning like a fast flame and fading rapidly.
Wait a second. Was that a Fire-Style jutsu or something? Why the heck would someone be out here in the middle of the night to train? Or maybe just vent their frustration by burning down a bunch of trees, which was also possible.
I wrenched hard at the roots binding me to the stone. The response was an abrupt jolt of pain that streaked through my neck. Great. Just marvelous. Now on top of it all I've probably pulled a muscle.
I pulled at the roots one more time, more out of spite than anything else. This time, though, they tightened considerably around my limbs. Why, Touko, I thought unhappily. Why did you have to learn Earth-Style jutsu so well?
Out of nowhere came a shuriken. It whizzed by my face, cutting a thin slice down my cheek. A superficial cut, but I still freaked out.
Gods curse it, Touko! I thought furiously. Now I'm going to end up dead just because you're too infantile to cool off! I whipped my head back and forth like a mad idiot, trying to see my attacker.
The shadowed figure landed in a crouch in front of me. Squinting in the dark, it took me a second to recognize the night prowler.
"Uchiha?!" I shrieked.
"…Oh, it's just you."
Yup, definitely Uchiha Sasuke. "Did you throw that shuriken at me?!" I yelped, willing my voice not to squeak.
"No dip, genius."
That little creep… "What gives?!" I snapped furiously, exploiting my infamous ability to switch from startled to angry in two seconds flat. "Why the heck are you out here at this time of night?!"
I could make out his arms folding. "First off, it's only seven P.M. Second, that's none of your business. And third, the same could be said to you-if I cared."
I was seething now. "The only reason I'm out here is because of you, Duckbutt," I growled. "And incidentally, you might want to get it through your skull that everyone else is not inferior to you. One of these days, someone'll come at you hard, and no sensei will be around to stop them." Oh, please, let that person be me.
"Please," he scoffed. I heard the shuriken being wrenched out of a tree trunk. "I don't care who comes at me; they all end up the same. Most Genin aren't even worth my time."
What. The. Crap. "…You have freaking issues, you know that?"
He smirked. "Like I care what you think." And with that, the jerk of an emo kid turned and stalked off, leaving me to smolder in the steadily growing darkness.
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My first words to my teacher the next morning were "I hate you."
Sasuke hadn't quit his stupid training or venting or whatever the flip it was until well past two in the morning. Or at least it felt like two. I was going to be a flipping zombie for who-knew-how-long. I am one of those people who needs their sleep-you think I'm a jerk normally? Just wait until you get me tired.
Touko had come at six-thirty sharp the next morning to release me, waking me from my overdue sleep in the process. Hence the "I hate you". The only reason Ika and Kasu remained unscathed was because I was too exhausted to come up with the painful demise they both deserved.
I was barely keeping myself awake as Touko droned on about something or other. Probably something important. I didn't really care at the moment, and was seriously considering propping my eyelids open with toothpicks when she said something that woke me right up.
"…so that's how it's going to be. While the meeting is going on, most of the Jonin will be present, along with their teams. The Genin will stay in one room right outside the meeting room. Got it?"
Oh, I get it. I just wish I didn't! "Touko, you're telling me we're going to be holed up in a room with a bunch of strange Genin?!" I exclaimed, horrified.
"If you fail to address me with or as 'sensei' again, I will tear your head off," she replied sweetly. Jeez…Guess I'm not the only one who got no sleep…
"And yes," she added, "that is precisely what I was telling you. Well, meeting adjourned!" she concluded with wicked cheeriness. "In about an hour, we can head for the meeting!"
"Huzzah," I uttered. But even the 'huzzah' seemed devoid of its usual snarkiness, like it was exhausted too.
It's going to be a very long day….
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"Bom, bom, bom, bom.."
"…Shut up, Kasu."
"..bom, bom, bom, bom.."
"Shut up, Kasu."
"…bom, bom, bom, bom, bom.."
"FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER IS HOLY!!!!" I screeched. "And for the sake of my fragile sanity! Shut the freak up!!!"
There was a pause in Kasu's pointless and annoying-as-heck antics. Then…
"Bommm, bommmm, bommmmm….!!"
"…YOU DIE, KASUKABE! GYAAHH!!" I roared, pouncing at my snickering-while-cowering teammate. I didn't get far, though; Ika withdrew a katana sword calmly from her waistband and promptly hit me in the head with it.
Before I could stretch myself any thinner by engaging in a fight with the bigheaded twit, Touko distracted us by pointing out that we had arrived at the building where the Kage meeting was scheduled to take place. "The Mizukage left early, and is already inside," she explained. "I'm going in through the bodyguard's way. You guys just go through the door; there'll probably be someone there to guide you to…wherever you're supposed to go. See you!"
And she scampered off. I frowned. There'll "probably" be someone there? I thought skeptically. "Probably" doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.
But for once, she was right. Inside the doors was a timid-looking female Jonin who lead us quietly to a new door. She was a veritable mouse-no, what's quieter than a mouse? I'm serious; the dead made more noise than this woman.
She opened the door and made herself scarce, leaving us to shrug and enter the ominous room.
Inside was a smorgasbord of Genin, lounging about and not really doing anything in particular. Most kept to themselves. One or two were talking animatedly with someone else.
Dear lord! I thought in horror. So..many…people….I don't like people..and there's so many… Yeah, yeah, I know-"Antisocial much?"
Much? I invented the term antisocial.
Anyway. I quickly scanned the room, noted where Team Weird was, and immediately dragged Ika and Kasu as far away from Them as possible. Must..avoid…emo..kid…will drain…all my remaining energy…
I collapsed in a corner and surveyed my surroundings. There were a bunch of ninja from Leaf, of course; one team from Sand, and assorted others from villages I was too sleepy to identify. There didn't seem to be much going on. Fine with me..sleep time!
No such luck. Five seconds after that 'Hallelujah' thought occurred to me, the mousy Jonin skittered back into the room. We looked up at her expectantly.
"Um..uh-um…." She stuttered. "Th-the Hokage-s-sama told me to b-bring you all this.." She held up a sheet of paper in a quavering hand. "..f-for something to do…and something about imp-p-proving relations with your f-fellow Genin.." Without warning she threw the paper into the air and ran for it, as if though afraid we might eat her on the spot.
…Okay, that was…weird…
A blond Leaf kunoichi in a purple fighting dress went to retrieve the paper. She looked it over, sighed, and walked to the middle of the room.
"Okay, people, listen up! It says here we should go around in a circle-or an amoeba sort of thing, in this case-naming our likes, dislikes and goals. Dreams. Whatever. So…do it!"
She rejoined her team, leaving the rest of us perplexed and a bit caught off-guard by the abrupt instructions. I'm guessing the general line of reasoning was 'It's better than being bored.'
"You started it, blondie," one of the guys muttered. "So you go first."
I can't believe this. We're about to introduce ourselves to complete strangers by playing a little kid's game. This blows big time.
"Uh, okay," Blondie replied. "I'm Yamanaka Ino. I like flowers and..a certain person.." Her eyes went all sparkly; luckily it passed before I could gag. "I dislike girls with big foreheads who keep trying to steal my boyfriend-to-be," she continued, shooting daggers at Sakura. "My goal is..well.." She giggled girlishly. Nobody pressed.
It went on like that. There was a brown-haired Leaf kunoichi who was obsessed with weapons; a giant-eyebrowed freak show who was obsessed with youth; a pineapple-haired guy who was obsessed with the notion that everything was 'troublesome' or 'a drag'…there wasn't a single normal person in the place.
Naruto liked ramen, disliked 'jerks who think they're better than everyone else', and wanted to become Hokage (as he repeated about ten times). Sakura's intro was pretty similar to Ino's. Sasuke's was the typical emo crap-he liked nothing, disliked a lot of things, and his goal was to kill someone. Figures.
It came to my team. Ika stood and bowed. "I am Yasamaru Ika. I like…knowledge. I dislike rudeness. I don't have any goal other than memorizing Kiri's history at the moment." And she sat back down.
Next was Kasu. "Anka Kasukabe-call me Kasu. I like..umm, I like a lot of things, actually. I dislike people who dislike my friends, and my goal…well, just to become a decent shinobi, I guess."
My turn. I feel ill.. "I'm Houshiro Saki. I like..the quiet, I guess. I dislike ramen-" a gasp of protest from Naruto-"and people in general..especially stuck-up arrogant creeps. My goal isn't really any business of yours." (Actually, I didn't have one.)
Well, that was fun. Now we were sitting around in silence, just as bored as before. Great plan. Stick a bunch of unfamiliar ninja in a small room together and leave them to wilt in boredom with nothing to do. Really smart.
I settled back into my little corner and started to drift off…only to be jerked from the sleeping/waking limbo by a rough shake from Ika. I glared at her.
"You had better have a good reason for doing that."
"I have two reasons, actually. One: it's very rude to fall asleep in front of people-I read it in a book of etiquette somewhere. And two, I brought friends," she rambled matter-of-factly.
"Wait-what? 'Friends'?" I repeated, frowning. This can mean nothing good. "Friends"? What the heck is she talking about?
My gaze slipped past her and landed on the three people she had brought. I groaned loudly. It's a conspiracy. I swear. It's all an elaborate plot to make me lose my flippin' mind. Team Weird had plopped down, looking confused, on the ground next to us. Ika had obviously dragged them over here.
"I brought them so that you could apologize for being such a jerk yesterday," my soon-to-be-dead teammate explained calmly. "So…go ahead."
Once I'm done murdering you, would you like me to apologize for that, too? I thought, gritting my teeth in frustration.
"Um..Saki-kun doesn't have to apologize for anything; I know firsthand how annoying Naruto can be," Sakura interjected, trying to play peacemaker.
..Okay, first off, where'd the "-kun" come from? And second, Naruto may have started the ticking-off process, but Sasuke's the one who made me flip my lid..is she blind? She must like him…great…
But whatever; Sakura had just offered me a Get Out Of Jail Free card, and I wasn't about to pass it up. "See? There's nothing wrong here," I snapped at Ika.
"But-she insulted our team!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly. "And she almost beat the crap out of Sasuke!...Then again, that might not be a bad thing…but still!"
"Wise up, loser," Sasuke said sullenly. "The only person who would've gotten the crap beat out of them is her." He gestured carelessly at me.
Twitch. "Watch it, Emo Kid," I muttered warningly.
"What, are you deluded enough to think you could have actually put a scratch me?"
Twitch. "I'm warning you, Birdhead, shut up."
"Or you'll do what? Talk me to death?"
The implication that I was all talk was infuriating. "That is it, you screwup," I hissed harshly, standing up. I pointed viciously at the door.
"You. Get up. I'm sick of your condescending attitude. Move it."
The Uchiha got the hint I had dropped. He smirked. "Fine." He stood. So did both our teammates. Kasu watched me with concern. The question "Do you know what you're doing?" was written clearly all over his usually carefree face.
The six of us slinked along the wall to the exit, and moved around to the back of the building outside.
I've had it with this jerk. I'm going to settle things now!
To Be Continued