Disclaimer: Nothing owned here…
Maura Isles loved medical school. She loved the libraries, the laboratories and the lecture halls. She loved learning anything and everything she could. But, if there was any class that knowledge loving Maura dreaded, it was this. Patient-Doctor Year I was a course that defined everything that made her insecure about becoming a doctor. The human body held endless intricacies to discover, but interacting one on one with the humans that those bodies belonged to always proved to be Maura's downfall.
Maura couldn't even enjoy the lecture that took up the first half of the class because she knew what was coming. As the professor explained the importance of paying close attention to everything a patient had to say, she could feel her anxiety growing. Once the lecture was over, it was time to pick a partner and take each other's medical histories. Maura gathered her things and looked around the room for someone to work with. She watched as a flash of fear ran across the face of each student she looked at and they got up to pair off as fast as they could. Finally, when only one awkward looking young man was left without a partner, Maura got up and joined him in the back of the classroom.
"Hello, I'm Maura Isles," she introduced herself as confidently as she could.
"Everybody knows the teacher's pet," the boy mumbled into his chest.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Maura asked, hoping she hadn't heard correctly.
"Nothing. The name's Greg Perlow. Now, why don't we get this over with, I'll go first," he responded, just trying to get through the assignment as fast as possible.
Greg proceeded to ask Maura all the basics of her personal medical history. Having never been sick or injured the answer to nearly every question was negative. She took no medications, had no allergies and had never been hospitalized. Greg then moved on to the family history section, which is where Maura's issues began.
"Does your mother have any history of heart disease?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied shyly.
"Does she have high blood pressure?"
"I don't know."
"Well, has she ever had a heart attack?"
"I don't know."
"How do you not even know if your own mother has had a heart attack?"
"I, I was adopted, I d-don't know anything about m-my biological p-parents," Maura stuttered.
"Well, why couldn't you have started with that?" he exclaimed. He drew an X through the family history and wrote "orphan" as big as he could across it. "Now that we know we can skip that, let's move on to your questions."
Maura worked to calm her breathing. The word that he had written was rolling around her head on repeat, along with all that it implied. No one wanted her, they never did, not even the people who were supposed to want her the most. She could feel the anxiety attack coming but did her best to distract herself with the questionnaire. She managed to do fairly well at appearing calm and in control the first few questions. It was all over once Greg said yes to having a history of seizures.
"Did you know that epilepsy affects twice as many people in the US as cerebral palsy? Apparently, there are nearly a million people in this country with uncontrolled seizure disorders. There are many different forms of epilepsy but no known cure. Many people can manage their symptoms with medications, though. There are also many different forms of seizures ranging from the extreme tonic-clonic seizure to a partial seizure that can be nothing more than a finger twitch. There a many famous people afflicted with epilepsy, such as Chief Justice John Roberts and…"
"Ok, enough," Greg cut her off. "I just want to get the assignment, not learn the whole history of epilepsy. Shit, I was trying to get out of here early."
Maura was instantly embarrassed. For some reason, whenever she got really nervous she started spouting endless facts and she couldn't figure out how to stop herself. She also knew that she was the only student unhappy that this was last class before the weekend. Hoping to save face with a little small talk, she tried asking "so, do you have any big plans after class?"
"Yeah, I still gotta pack for my flight to Cancun," he answered.
"You're going all the way to Cancun for the weekend?"
Greg looked at her like she was crazy. "Um, no, it's spring break."
Way to go Maura, now you look like even more of a pariah she thought to herself. She handed him her questionnaire to fill out himself. It felt like cheating but she just couldn't handle anymore conversation. She hoped maybe letting him do it quickly so he could leave would make up for her accidental lecture.
By the following Tuesday, Maura had discovered that there were some advantages to having forgotten spring break and ending up nearly alone on campus. There was nothing like being the only person in the library aside from the librarian. It was kind of nice to not have classes to interrupt her own personal intellectual pursuits. The best part was being able to wander around campus, lost in a book, and not have to worry about crashing into people and being mocked for being a book worm.
As Maura was making her way from her apartment to the campus bookstore, she was enjoying a re-read of "Merchant of Venice." Always a sucker for they bard, the world around her just sort of fell away. She thought she heard her name in the distance, but then thought better of it, given the campus's near desertion. Lost in Shylock's soliloquy, she didn't notice the couple approaching until they were only a few feet from her and he was saying her name. Looking up, Maura saw the sweetest, most handsome boy she had ever known. Garrett Fairfield was tall and strong, built like the track star he was. He had soulful brown eyes and light brown hair cut to frame his face perfectly. As he flashed his overly charming smile, all Maura could think was that he was the last person she wanted to see. Especially once she looked up and noticed the blond he had his arm around.
"Maura, good to see you," Garrett said, sounding almost sincere.
"Hello, Garrett," she replied, mumbling into her chest.
She tried continue on her way but he cut her off with "What are you doing wasting your time on Shakespeare? Shouldn't you be reading Gray's Anatomy for the fifth time or something?"
And there it was. The absolute worst part of Garrett Fairfield wasn't that he had ignored her existence or mocked her for her odd interests like the rest of her peers. No, the horrible thing about him was that he had done the opposite. Having grown up with parents who ran in the same social circles, Maura and Garrett often found themselves at the same charity events. Unlike all the others their age, he always sought her out. He never rolled his eyes or cut her when she started listing endless fact. He would simply smile and listen, like he was filing all of that information away for a later date. She considered him to have been her only childhood friend.
When she started at BCU as an undergrad, she was surprised to run into Garrett at orientation. Both of them found it comforting to be around a familiar face, so they quickly became inseparable. He even invited her to his family's East Hampton estate for winter break, where he asked her to be his girlfriend. Maura was ecstatic, of course. They settled into an easy, supportive relationship with very little friction or tension. Despite the fact that she was taking enough classes to make it through her pre-med degree in 3 years and he had become the president of his fraternity, they always managed to find time for each other. To her, it seemed like the perfect relationship.
That was why she was totally blindsided when he dumped her 2 weeks before her graduation. One day they were making plans for the summer and the next he was calling to say he couldn't do this anymore. He didn't even give her a reason. It didn't make any sense to Maura. She had even accepted a spot at BCU med school so she could stay near him during his senior year. It wasn't until an Isles Foundation event over the summer that she overheard some girls gossiping about her that she learned the truth. They were whispering about how Garrett had asked his father for permission to marry her but Mr. Fairfield had said that Maura would never be capable of being a proper Fairfield wife.
With all this in mind, she knew making small talk with him was not her idea of a good time. "Why are you even on campus right now?" she snapped back at him.
His smile faltered for a minute before he recovered "Oh, the Fairfield Gala is tonight. Meg and I have to make an appearance." He was not at all used to Maura being so abrupt, it was very out of character.
She looked down and mumbled "of course," as though she was talking to her shoes.
"You'll be there, right?" he asked as if yes could be the only answer.
Maura looked between him and Meg. She was the definition of a blond sorority princess. She belonged in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. But then it hit Maura, this girl's looks weren't what made her the perfect escort for a guy like Garrett. Meg hadn't said anything for the whole time she had been standing there, a feat Maura could never pull off.
"No, there's no reason for me to be there," she said as she turned to continue on her way.
Two hours later, Maura found herself following her mentor around the local farmers' market. Dr. Jessica Spielberg had taught Maura in her Intro to Anatomy class, when she was a freshman, and taken her under her wing immediately. Now, she even had Maura guest lecturing that course for her on occasion. She could see some of herself in the shy girl and she hoped that maybe she could help her overcome some of her anxieties. It was obvious from their first conversation that Maura was brilliant and that if she could learn to believe in herself, she could accomplish anything.
Maura greatly admired Dr. Spielberg. She was so smart and so accomplished. She was the head of pediatric surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital, an associate professor of pediatric medicine at BCU, a wife and the mother of a beautiful 4-year-old daughter. Impressively, she seemed to excel at all these things. Professionally, she was at the top of field and had a career that most doctors couldn't even dream about. Secretly though, Maura was even more envious of her personal life. Most students only knew the always proper doctor, who only ever taught in scrub and a lab coat, but Maura got the privilege of getting to know Jessica.
Sara, Jessica's wife, was an orthopedic surgeon herself. Their daughter, Sophia, looked just like a miniature version of Sara with dark brown hair and soft brown eyes. Though they had made it through some tough times, five years into their marriage they were still very much in love. The warmth that was always present around them was exactly the feeling that Maura had always felt was missing from her life. You could just see in their eyes how much they cared about each other and Sophia. They were always trying to rearrange their schedules or cut meetings short so that they could all sit down for family dinner. Because it was the opposite of how Maura was raised, Jessica tried to make her feel a part of this family as much as possible.
As they were browsing organic strawberries, Maura asked "Why would Garrett even want me at his family's gala?"
Jessica looked up from her selections and gave Maura a look like she was crazy. "Why wouldn't he? But honestly, who cares?"
"What do you mean who cares? I care; he is the man I thought I would end up marrying."
"Does it really matter anymore what that boy wants, says, or does anything? Anyway, you're asking the wrong question."
"Personally, I believe that yes, it does matter. But, if you don't wish to discuss Garrett's motives with me, then tell me what question I should be asking."
Even to Jessica, Maura could be frustrating at times. Paying for her produce, she took a deep breath and replied, "Instead of worrying about his motives, you should think about your own. The important question here is why you would want to go."
"But I don't want to go." Maura's reply came with no hesitation.
"So why are we talking about this?"
"Because he looked so disappointed when I said I wasn't going."
"And his disappointment matters, why?"
"I just don't understand how someone can terminate a relationship and still be disappointed when the other party doesn't wish to socialize."
As they moved on to the next stall, Jessica could only shake her head. "You are keeping in mind why he broke up with you, right?"
"Yes, I'll never be good enough to be a Fairfield wife," Maura stated, entirely too matter-of-factly.
"That's not what he thought, that was his father's opinion. He only ended things to make his family happy, he was happy with you."
"So even when I do find that one person who can tolerate all of my idiosyncrasies, it turns out that I'm so odd that there family makes them get rid of me."
"The Fairfields are not a normal family. They are more like a dynasty. Their behavior isn't a fair representation of anything. I think it's been more than long enough. You need to move on, find someone new to occupy your thoughts."
"My thoughts are plenty busy with my studies at the moment," Maura deflected. "Besides, where would I meet someone new? Between classes and the library, I study nearly 11 hours every day and that's not including the journals I read once I get home. All my classmates look at me like I have leprosy, so they certainly aren't an option."
Jessica got a twinkle in her blue eyes as she smirked. "You ever think about online dating?"