A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! They make me write faster!
Sarah was calling him, again. He just didn't have time for her and her views on where everything went wrong. God, he was only seventeen, he didn't need a wife or at least somebody nagging him about every little detail of his life. As it turned out, he had two moms and he was sure that he had the nagging section covered. Speaking of, he hadn't heard anything from any of his parents, not even Kim. Shrugging it off, he put his ear buds in each ear and found some comfort music, Sublime.
Oh no, Cuddy was giving him that irate glare that gave him mixed emotions. One, he was scared but that only took a few moments to get over when he stumbled upon that second emotion, arousal. God, the woman could make him hot under any circumstances. Unlike nomal, she didn't stalk out of his office, instead she settled for sitting in the chair opposite of him.
"Well now you can explain to me exactly how my son ended up in your care." Cuddy said in a tone that meant that there was little to no wiggle room. She followed up with a glare that confirmed that there was no wiggle room and as much as he squirmed she would leave his office with the entire story.
House let out a sigh. "I knew you were pregnant the second time we...you know." He said, pausing to give her a devilish grin. "It was just a matter of waiting for you to tell me, and when months went by, I hacked into your file at the hospital. It probably wasn't a good idea to have all of your prenatal needs met at the hospital I was interning at." He said.
"Obviously." She said, allowing him to finish.
"So I waited, your OB/GYN had my pager number and he paged me when you went into labor. I waited some more and you finally signed him over when I swooped in and had paternal rights recognized. The end." House ended dramatically.
"So you've been raising him all by yourself?" Cuddy asked smally. Partially because she was angry and the other half of her felt admiration for House.
"Yes and no. Yes, until I could afford a nanny. No when his nanny and I started sleeping together." House said. He saw the tears in Cuddy's eyes, and he started feeling...no, it couldn't be...guilt? So he explained further. "I thought that Ben needed a mother figure. Kim thought that it was something more, she wanted to get married and have more babies. I didn't think that it was fair to you or Ben...so we broke things off and I let her take Ben. Ben lives with her eleven months out of the year and he visits here for a month. Wilson is the only one that knows, but he doesn't know that you are Ben's mother." House finished.
Cuddy stared at House in awe. He had finally revealed to her the name of their son, Ben. And had he just, in little words, said that it wouldn't be fair to have other babies with other women, that he was hers to have for procreational purposes? Her head was spinning and it didn't stop until they heard House's office door open.
"Hi." Ben said simply, sitting in the recliner in the corner.
Cuddy took the opportunity to study him further. She hadn't lucked out in the dominance department, he was all House except for the abundance of dark, curly hair.
Ben smiled at her shyly as he began to fish his iPod out of his pocket. His mother was staring at him, studying him.
"Take a picture, Cuddy. I think it would last longer." House said lamely.
Cuddy turned her head towards House and glared at him once again. House grabbed his chest in mock-hurt playfully.
"We should do lunch." House finally said.
"I'm free, and starving." Ben said loudly.
House narrowed his eyes at Ben, the boy was just too good at reading lips. "Turn that down, I can hear it from over here." House said.
"I can't hear you." Ben said fakely. He did his best to look confused, and he pointed at his ear buds. "I don't cry when my dog runs away. I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay. I don't get angry when my mom smokes pot." He sang loudly.
"Enough!" House said just as loudly.
Cuddy seemed amused, at least with House having no authority when it came to their son. It was much like the relationship that she and House shared.
"What?" Ben asked, ripping his headphones off.
"I said enough." House said.
"What? I really don't cry when my dog runs away. Or get angry at the bills I have to pay. I would however get angry if my mom smoked pot, especially if she didn't share with me." Ben said, his eyes wide with explanation.
"Alright, fiend. You don't have a dog, nor do you have bills, and neither one of your mothers smoke pot." House said.
"No, the fiend would be you, Vi-Co. And why would your boss even tell you if she smoked pot? Or Kim, I mean c'mon." Ben said smartly.
"I don't smoke pot, just for clarification purposes." Cuddy said.
"That's too bad. My dad stares at you like you're on the cover of the 'Wet Mango' blunt wrap." Ben said.
"What does that even mean?" House asked, questioningly staring at Ben.
"You sound like Wilson. And haven't you ever seen a 'Wet Mango' blunt wrap?" Ben asked, digging around in his pocket.
"No." House said. "Unlike you, I don't wait around for paraphernalia charges." House said.
"Did I say that I had a bong in my pocket?" Ben asked, finally throwing a plastic wrapper at House.
House raised his eyebrows considerably. "Benjamin, my son, your first burn on your mother. Come here. I'm so proud." House said, tossing the blunt wrapper to Cuddy.
Cuddy looked at the wrapper and nearly laughed out loud. It was a very seductive picture of a girl's luscious lips around a piece of mango.
"Ah. The burn, my father, was on you." Ben said.
House was sick of this father-son banter. "Lunch?" He asked Cuddy and Ben.
"Sure." Cuddy answered.
"I suppose that would be acceptable." Ben said, rolling his baby blues.
A/N: Weeeeeelll? What do you think? Puh-leese review :] Ya know ya wanna.