Chapter Two: Unwanted
I walked into the Warner theater with Spence right behind me leaving the late warm afternoon sun behind, wishing I could just go outside and play. I placed my empty coffee cup in the trash by the door to the stage. I lead him to a seat in the front row, "here just sit here and enjoy the show," I said. "Do you mind watching my purse while I'm up there?" I asked.
"Sure," he said taking it off my shoulder. Tears welled up in his eyes.
I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I promise it will get better," I whispered in his ear. He nodded. I then turned and hopped up on the stage. After two and a half hours the rehearsal was over and I climbed down off the stage. "Let's go Spence, I need to go home and change. I got to go run with Derek. You can come too," I said taking my purse from him.
"Yeah I would like that; a run would be nice, though I'm not very good at it."
"Don't worry; I'll set a pace you can match. Do you need to stop by your place?" I asked.
"Yeah and if you don't mind I would like to crash at your place, I just don't want to be alone right now."
"That's fine Spence, you can crash at my place any time and we'll stop by your place real quick. Just let me call Derek and let him know I'll be a few minutes late," I said. Spence nodded. I pulled out my phone and hit the two, speed dialing my cuz. "Hey dude, I'm going to be a few minutes late for our run tonight, but I will be there." I agreed with a few of the things he said before I hung up.
"You didn't tell him I was going to be with you?" Spencer asked.
"I think he already knows that you'll be there, I also knew if I told him he wouldn't let you live it down. Let's get going, lead on Spence."
He took my hand in his and pulled me close. "Let's go," he said. As soon as we were out the door he asked, "So the scar, it spells something out." It wasn't a question.
"Yes it does, I'll tell you when we get back to my place because after I tell you I am going to want to run," I said. "So where do you live?" I asked changing the subject.
He pointed ahead of us, "just up a few blocks. I would like a ticket to your show, the rehearsal was incredible. And was that a real horse up on stage"
I smiled and blushed a little, "I'll get you that ticket then and thank you and yes it was, mine." My horse was a big black Friesian stallion. A few minutes later we were walking up to an apartment building. I noticed he avoided the elevator. "Don't like elevators?" I asked.
"No, out of the hundreds of elevator accidents that happen every year six of them result in death." I followed him up the stairs to the fourth floor. He started looking in his pockets and bag trying to find his keys. "Great, I can't find the keys," he muttered.
I sighed and pulled a pin out of my hair, "Move," I said gently pushing him aside. I bent down on my knees in front of the lock and picked it in about 2 seconds flat. I would have to thank Parker for teaching me how to pick locks.
"You pick locks?" I looked up to see a look of shock on his face. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
"I only do it when I lose my keys. They haven't yet made a lock that can keep me out." As we stepped into his apartment I was awed by the amount of books on just about every surface. The bookshelves were over flowing with books. I walked over to one written in Russian. I picked up and started reading. "Heart of a Dog in Russian? I haven't read this in so long; I didn't take you for one to read what could be considered a comic book." I looked up at him.
"You can read that?" he asked heading to the back room.
"Yeah, I can read several languages," I replied. I sat down to read it while he gathered his things.
He came back a few minutes later with a duffle bag. "You can borrow that if you want."
It took me a moment to respond, after a minute I set the book down, "thanks but I just finished it."
A look of shock crossed his face, "You read faster than I do." I stood up to come stand beside him.
"It made college a lot easier. You ready?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's go," he said.
Once outside of his apartment I hailed a cab and climbed in the back with him "Just so you know I have two English Mastiff Great Pyrenees mixes at home, they are trained guard dogs. So when we get there I need you to do as I ask so that the dogs will let you in."
"Yeah of course, what do you need me to do?"
"Completely ignore them, act as if they don't exist, if they growl at you ignore them and let me handle it and if I tell you to do something, do it. And another important thing, don't be afraid of them, that could cause all kinds of trouble."
"Will they bite me?" Spence asked with concern on his face.
"Only if ordered," I replied. Moments later we were at my house. It was small, one story, a plain white with a cement front porch with a bench swing and a screen door in front of the heavy wood door. There were flowers leading up the walk way to the steps. "I apologize ahead of time for the mess; I just moved here a few weeks ago, I'm still unpacking." I then turned to the cab driver, "Do you mind waiting for about ten minutes, we'll be right back out?"
The man turned to me; he had deep set dark blue eyes, a soft tan that was fading now that winter was around the bend, short dark hair that was curly, "of course not ma'am."
"Thank you sir," I replied getting out of the cab. Spence had already stepped out and was looking at my place. "I know it's small and the neighborhood sucks but, for now it will work," I said stepping up behind him.
He turned to look at me, "Do you have a way to protect yourself other than the dogs?" I could clearly hear the concern in his voice.
"Yes, I'm a black belt in Krav Maga, anyone tries to mess with me they will be on the ground and I will be two blocks away before they can figure out what happened. I know to other forms of self-defense. I've been taught to fight since I was little." He took a slight step back at the sheer authority in my voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, come on let's go in and stay behind me." I walked up to the front door and pulled out the keys. When I opened the door both dogs were sitting five feet away from the door, smiling at me. I completely ignored them while I came in and put my purse by the door.
Spencer made to say something and I put my finger on his lips and shook my head. I had to show my dogs that he was my guest and not theirs. After a 90 second stare down they went to go sit on the couch. "Spence, the guest bed room is this way," I said indicating with my head before I walked through my freshly painted kitchen. It was a bright red, to help with digestion and my kitchen only had three walls with most of them covered by cabinets and counters, not to mention back splash so the color wasn't too much. I then cut to the hallway full of boxes leading to the bedrooms. I stopped at the second door on the left and opened it.
"Here and if you need the bathroom it is down one door the way we came, on the same side this room is on." With that I walked out to go to the door at the end of the hallway on the right side, the master bed room. I just needed to change my shirt before I was ready for a run. I traded my gray ruffle tee for a tank and hoodie. I then grabbed my running bag off the back of my door and went into my bathroom to put two towels into it. Normally I just carried one, but I had a new running partner.
I then left my room which was in desperate need of paint and light to go to the kitchen. I grabbed four bottled waters, two for me and two for Spence. "Spence let's go the cabbie is wait for us!" I called grabbing my leash which ended in a 'Y' with two clips on the end. I whistled and my dogs came running to me and sat so I could clip the leash to their collars. They had the face of a Pyrenees and most of the coloring along with the heavy coat, but it was shorter like the Mastiff's. They had the build of a Mastiff, big and muscular.
"I'm coming," Spencer said coming out wearing the most beat up pair of running shorts that I had ever seen, a FBI tee and his converse tennis shoes. "So you scar?" he asked coming to stand beside me.
"My father, before he left me and my mom. He put the scar there so I would remember why he left." With that I grabbed some cash for the cabbie, my keys, my running bag, and dogs. I was out the door with Spence on my heels to keep from getting left behind. I opened the door to the little yellow cab and shoved my dogs in first before I climbed in. Spence slid in right beside me.
"Where to?" the cabbie asked.
"The outdoor running track at the Y," I replied in a clipped tone, no longer much interested in conversation. I was fighting the tears that were stinging my eyes, burning them. I was working to get myself under control; I couldn't do this now, not with my dogs in an enclosed space. That could lead to disaster.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Spencer started.
"Not now Spence, don't feel sorry for me with my dogs so close, that energy could cause problems." Ten minutes later we were at the track, thank god. I wasn't so sure that I would now be able to set a pace that Spence could match.
"That will be 55 ma'am," the cabbie said turning to face me. I handed him three 20s and he passed me back a five. "Thank ya' ma'am," he said as we got out.
"Thank you," I replied. I slid out behind Spence pulling my dogs behind me onto the brightly lit track. The track was made up of the standard track material with lines and numbers painted on it, metal stands and bleachers along the sides for those that came to watch practice ball games and the sports that involved running on the track, at the moment I couldn't care less what they were called.
"Hey! Hey!" I heard my cousin yell. I turned to look at him; his hands were waving in the air to get our attention. His smile was as bright as it was this morning. I waved at him and gave a small smile which probably looked more like a grimace. "I was wondering if you stood me up," Derek joked.
I threw my running bag down next to his on the lowest bleacher. "You know I wouldn't do that to my favorite cousin Derek," I said my voice completely void of any emotion. I knew he would catch it, he was a profiler.
"What's wrong?"
"The past," I answered my cousin taking off down the track before any more questions could be asked.
Spencer's POV
"You asked her about her scar didn't you?" Morgan asked, almost accusingly.
I nodded in what could be qualified as shame, "I didn't mean any harm by asking. I just saw her scar when she and I were on the subway. Her shirt slid up a bit as she reached for the bar. I just barely touched it and she jumped out of her skin," I said taking a deep breath realizing that I was beginning to ramble. "I'm sorry."
"She knows that Reid, but her past is hard for her to talk about. There is a reason my mom fought to have custody of her after her mother died. Her father never stepped forward to claim her and after I found what he did to her I am glad I have never met him, I would have killed him."
The look of rage behind his eyes was surprising to me; I couldn't recall seeing him so angry. "So she told you, without you asking or pushing?"
I was startled by his question, I looked at him confused, "Yeah, why?" I asked.
"Because she has never told anyone unless pushed, even then she had to be backed into a corner." I then thought of something that she had said earlier, "She said some people know her last name to be Morgan, even though it was Granger?"
"Yeah, she took her brother's last name, but when she was living with me, before she knew about her brother she had her last name changed to Morgan. She didn't want her father's last name, not after what he did to her more than once."
"Who is her brother?"
Morgan sighed, "He was an FBI agent in LA. When she was kidnapped while visiting him he rescued her. A few months later their father killed him. Every year on the anniversary of his death she goes out to his grave. I became her brother; she needed one at that point in her life. And just so you know, she believes her brother to be alive, his body was never found, but after seven years the state declared him dead, so she buried an empty casket and bought a tomb stone. His name was Colby Granger." I was stunned into silence, what had this girl been through? How much had she survived and never told anyone?
"What does her scar say? I didn't see much of it."
"Unwanted," Morgan replied. So that's what she meant when she said that was what her father put there, so she would remember why he left. How a father could do that could do that to his own child I didn't know, but my father also left me. Though the difference was mine didn't leave a physical scar.
At the moment Sabrina ran passed us, creating a small wind. "Are you two going to run or not!" she shouted over her shoulder at us. Morgan and I looked at each other before taking off to try to catch up to the absolutely tiny woman in front of us.
Sabrina's POV
While the boys were talking, most likely about me I was running. My feet pounding the pavement, my heart echoing the sound in my chest felt good, the blood pounding in my ears, drowning out my thoughts of my past. I didn't need to run to make myself tired, I was already tired. I had been on my feet since four this morning, as I was every morning. As I made my second pass by my running partners I yelled back at them, "Are you guys going to run or not?" I tended to run for at least an hour, to stay in shape and wear out my dogs. A few moments after I asked them if they were going to join me I heard the pounding of two sets of feet behind me.
I kept my lead for a few more laps while they tried to catch me. After those few more laps I had managed to rebury the memories and I slowed my pace to match my running partners'. I had told Spence I would set a pace he could match. "You are fast for one your size; can you keep that pace for longer?" Spence asked.
"Yeah, I can keep that pace for near of two hours. I can't let my size be my weakness." I was getting tired of this pace and I had only been at it for half a lap, "can you guys go any faster? I'm sorry, but I'm used to going much faster."
"You know I can baby girl," Derek said.
I rolled my eyes, "Stop calling me that, I'm not a baby anymore," I said. I looked at Spence, "how fast do you think that you can go?" I asked.
"Not much faster than this, how did you get so fast?"
"Practice, practice, practice," I replied to his question.
"Well I think I can only get a few more laps in before I'm done," Spencer said.
I nodded, "there are two bottles of water and a towel for you in my running bag." I was breathing heavy, but nowhere near ready to stop.
"Aren't you tired yet Sabrina?" Derek asked. I shook my head, hair coming undone from my braid and sticking to my face and neck. My body was dripping with sweat, making me look as though I had just stepped out of a pool. My muscles were starting to burn with exhaustion and I was getting extremely thirsty. After Spence had sat down I picked my earlier pace back up, out running Derek. After six more laps Derek spoke again, "Sabrina, stop. You're going to be in pain in the morning." I was several feet ahead of Derek, not slowing at all when he called out to me, asking me to stop. Spencer had stopped four laps ago.
I finished the lap I was on and stopped next to where I had set my running bag. I rested my hands on my knees, leaning forward to catch my breath, also waiting for Derek to catch up. A few minutes later Derek came sliding to a stop beside me. After I caught my breath I stood up and looked at Derek, "I'll be just fine Derek. If I run myself to exhaustion I don't have the nightmares, I need my sleep." I then moved to sit next to Spence and I grabbed a bottle of water.
"Running that hard can be bad for you," Derek said.
"Would you rather I do drugs, drink or worse?" I asked opening up a bottled water. I took a long drink.
"No, I don't want you doing that, not again," Derek said getting his own water out.
"Again, you used to do drugs?" Spence asked looking up at me in shock.
"Once upon a time, many years ago I did many things that I regret, drugs being one of them. Derek and his mom helped me get clean. I was one hot mess," I said getting another drink before opening my second water bottle and pouring some out for my dogs and they too lapped up the water as it came out of the bottle. "Would you mind giving us a ride back to my place Derek?"
"Sure, I always do don't I?"
"Thanks Derek," I said getting up. I grabbed by bag and stood up. I pulled Spence to his feet. "Come on Spence; let's go get something to eat." Minutes later I was getting out of Derek's SUV.
As I was heading to the front door with Spence I heard Derek call out, "Hey kid!" I knew he wasn't talking to me so I kept walking. I heard a small hum in response. "Take care of her; she's going to have a rough time tonight." Nice, the man that stepped up as my brother when I needed one because my father killed mine is now telling my friend to take care of me. I had been taking care of myself for years.
"I will, I owe her for today." With that I heard Spence's footsteps behind me; I had already entered the house. "So Sabrina, what are we doing for dinner?" he asked slipping through the door.
"Spaghetti and meat balls but first I'm going to take a shower, if you wish to do so use the bathroom next to your room, I have my own bathroom in my room," I said locking the door. I then unclipped the leash from my dogs' collars. I then headed for my bathroom. I needed a nice long hot shower. While I was in the shower I practiced another one of my songs for my play, I had to sing it when the play was over.
"Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone."
As I sang tears came to my eyes, for a good portion of my life that was how I felt, I had been alone. My mother was a drug addict with drinking problems, my father had abused me before walking out and I didn't have any friends in school. My father had scared them all away. I shook my head to try to dispel the thoughts, I had to hold it together for a few more hours, then I could talk to my brother and let the day go before bed.
A/N: Please review and leave me some suggestions. I have started an Elliot Spencer story, it is yet to be posted, like a few others I'm working on. Leave me suggestions for that too. I like hearing from you guys. Hope to update as many of my stories as I can soon.