Ah, chapter two. Thank you to the ones who have reviewed!
And now, to continue on with the story, thanks to my currently Haruhi/Total Drama obsessed state!
One quick note: This is based on the 2009 version of Haruhi Suzumiya. What does this mean? More episodes (which for us means more chapters) than the original! And, no, for all of you Haruhi fans, I will not be doing the Endless Eight seven million times. *sweat drop* Three is sufficient. For all you people who doesn't get what the Endless Eight is? You'll find out in later chapters.
Disclaimer: Don't own Total Drama. Don't own The Melancholy. No sue? Kay. Thanks. Bye.
Chapter two: The SOS Brigade
Why was I doing this? I didn't really know then, and I sure as hell don't have any clue now. But, here I was: writing down the eccentricities of Heather Suzuki as the week went on.
Eccentricity number one: her hairstyle changes everyday. It felt like everyday she'd add another tied-off point in her hair. It would turn back to one on Monday, but by Friday? Five points sticking out in any direction. It reminded me either of a Final Fantasy character, or the Statue of Liberty. Juvenile, really.
Eccentricity number two. You know that guys and girls go to different rooms to change for P.E., right? The girls stay in the odd-numbered rooms, and the boys move to the even-numbered rooms. It's so simple, even a monkey could do it.
So, I guess this makes Heather worse than a monkey. She began taking off her school uniform in front of everyone-- boys and girls. Us guys were chased out (mostly by Courtney), but I didn't care to look at a half-naked Heather. Don't believe me? Your loss. At any rate, it seems like she views guys on the same level as potatoes. Wow. We really are a great species, aren't we?
Eccentricity number three: she temporarily joined a wide-variety of clubs in this school, only to quit them all and try another club. Make up your mind, "honey".
Several weeks had passed, and I was walking into homeroom, as usual. Whatever possessed me to talk to her that day? That does it: this school is home to demons. Well, you already knew that, right? Especially if Heather went there.
"Do you change your hairstyle everyday to combat aliens?" I stated, sarcasm oozing from my voice.
"When did you notice?" Heather just rose an eyebrow in response.
"Recently."
"Hm." she scoffed and turned her head. "I believe that each day represents a different image. Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red, Wednesday is blue (which was today), Thursday is green, Friday is gold, Saturday is light brown, and Sunday is white."
"So," I pondered, boredly. "Monday would be zero, and Saturday would be six."
"Right."
"Monday feels more like a one to me."
"No one asked you, idiot." she rolled her eyes. "Just, don't talk to me, skeez. Didn't I explain that before?"
Gee, she sure has a great attitude. She turned towards me, once again, and began staring me down, for whatever reason. After a few seconds on awkward silence, she spoke up again.
"Have I met you before?"
"You told me not to talk." I responded, smirking.
"Well, I am now, you idiot."
"Thankfully, no." I replied to her first question.
She turned her head and ended the conversation there, mumbling a curse under her breath. That was the trigger that got me involved in all this crap. Why do you think this got me involved? Just sit back, and relax, why don't you?
The next day, I was actually surprised to see that she had her hair cut. It was shoulder-length, instead of the long, thigh-length it was the day before. Yeah, I'm sure that I helped with the haircut, albeit indirectly. What a haughty girl.
"Hey." Why the hell was I talking to her again?
"Not really." What the hell was that supposed to mean? Just say that you don't want to talk to me.
Why it was happening, I don't know; but talking to Heather before homeroom had become a daily occurrence. Joy, joy.
"Is it true that you've dumped every guy you've gone out with?" I asked, remembering what Cody said a few weeks earlier.
"That's none of your business." she responded, icily. "I don't know what you've heard, but whatever. It's probably true."
"There wasn't a single guy that you wanted to date?" I asked, tauntingly. "Gee, picky much?"
"They were totally no good." Heather replied, glaring slightly. "They were boring, you know? Not a one was an alien, a time traveler, or an esper."
No! Really? But she wasn't finished with her rant yet.
"And what's up with them asking me out over the phone?" she continued, scoffing. "Bunch of lazy cowards."
"You believe so?" I replied, wondering why I was talking to her about this. "I'd just call her out somewhere and ask her then."
"It doesn't matter." Heather just shrugged. "The problem is, there are only useless men on this planet. Especially in middle school and high school."
"So picky." I remarked, which earned me another glare. "So, what kind of guy did you want? An alien?"
"Correct, Noah." Wow, she remembers my name. Joy. "Or something close to an alien, you know? Anyways, as long as its not a human. It could be a guy or a girl, for all I care."
We've gone from bisexual to species sexual from here, haven't we?
"What's with you and non-humans?" I remarked.
"It's much more interesting." a smile played on her lips.
She got up, unexpectedly, for whatever reason. About the same time, I was approached by Cody. A serious look was plastered on his face.
"How did you do that?"
"Do what?" I looked up from the textbook I was now reading.
"I've never seen Heather talk that long before." Cody explained, grinning. "What did you say?"
What did I say? I was thinking the exact same thing.
"It's the end of the world." Cody joked.
"Noah's always liked weird girls, eh?" Ezekiel was now walking towards us to join the conversation. Gee, thanks for that remark, buddy.
"Don't say things that will cause misunderstanding, Zeke." I stated flatly as I flipped another page in my textbook.
"I'd also like to know." a third voice stated. Looking up, I noticed that it was Courtney Victors. "Suzuki never responds, no matter how many times I speak to her. How did you get her to talk to you? Is there a trick to it?"
"Don't know, don't care." I crossed my arms.
Courtney just shrugged. "At least she's not isolating herself from the rest of the class. I'm glad that she's made a friend, I guess."
"Friend, huh?" I muttered under my breath.
"Keep up the good work!" Courtney grinned. For some reason, this made me uneasy. "Since we're all in the same class, we should all be friends, right? I'm counting on you."
Easy for you to say, Miss Counselor in Training.
"If I want to tell her anything," Courtney continued. "I'll ask you to tell her."
"I'm not your spokesman." I sighed, narrowing my eyes.
"Pretty please?"
Okay, so I'm a sucker for begging.
Our seating arrangements are being changed. Thank the Lord! After drawing the lot out of the tin, my new seat was by the window, second seat from the back. Excellent. Farewell, Heather. Forever.
…
This is coincidence, right? Why did she have to draw the lot that seated her right behind me? Again? The universe is out to get me. I can tell.
"Did you really try joining all the clubs?" If I'm stuck in front of her for the rest of class, I might as well talk to her. "Let me know if you find any 'fun' ones."
"There aren't any." she replied shortly. "Totally not a one! I was expecting better things now that I'm in high school, but this is no better than middle school! Maybe I went to the wrong school."
Let's hope you're right.
"There was the mystery research society." Heather began to think aloud.
"How was it?" I asked, flatly.
"A joke." she seethed, rolling her eyes and resting her chin on the palm of her hands. "Those losers wouldn't know a case if it bit them in the ass. They're just bookworms who love mystery books.
"Then there was the Supernatural Phenomenon Research Society. Just a bunch of occult loving freaks! What do you make of that?!"
"A bunch of occult loving freaks?" I shrugged.
"It's so boring!" she tugged at her hair lightly. "With so many clubs at this school, you'd think there would be at least one weird one."
"Settle for what's in front of you." I suggested, smirking. "Take whatever clubs they have here. Things are made because they are needed or wanted. For example, the Wright Brothers wanted to fly, so they invented the airplane. People wanted to travel faster, so automobiles were created. Geniuses created them. Common folk like us just need to live an ordinary life."
"Oh, shut up!"
The conversation ended there. Several minutes passed, and I felt a drowsy wave overcome me. Suddenly, I felt the back of my shirt collar being tugged! My head slammed against Heather's desk, and my chair stood up straight, once again.
"What was that for?!"
"I've got it!" Heather's face looked sincerely happy. But about what?
"Figured what out?!"
"Why didn't I realize this sooner?" Heather tapped her lips with a finger, as a smirk appeared on her face.
"Realize what?!"
"If there isn't one," I felt my spine shudder as she said this. This wasn't good. "make one! Make a club!"
Yeah, this really wasn't good.
"Good for you."
"You should be happier." Heather crossed her arms and glared.
"It could be that we're in class right now." I reminded her, rolling my eyes.
Right as the bell rang, signaling that class was over, I was pulled by the tie on my school uniform. Where was this crazy lunatic taking me?!
We stopped for a second on the main staircase of the high school.
"Help me." she stated, simply."Help you with what?" I responded with an annoyed tone.
"Making my club, of course." That same wicked smile was plastered on her face.
"Why do I have to help?"
"I'll go get the room and members," she smirked, ignoring me. "and you get the paperwork."
"What kind of club is this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Does it matter?" she let go of my tie. "Making the club is first! Understood?"
I felt like I was being extorted, or being pulled into a reality show alliance. Geez, couldn't I just survive my years of high school in peace?
"Find out what we have to do." she commanded. "I'll get the club room. Understood?"
Before I could reply, she was walking away, probably still smiling that evil smile of hers.
Once again, I was being pulled by Heather. This time, we arrived at the club room. It was pretty vacant, except for the Goth girl sitting in the corner of the room. Wait, what's she doing here?
"This is our new clubroom!" Heather announced.
"Wait a second." I crossed my arms. "Where are we?"
"The art department's old clubroom." Heather explained, smirking. "The art club and wind ensemble have an art room and a music room, right? Clubs and societies do not have such clubrooms. So, right now, this belongs to the literary club. But the members all graduated last spring, so it doesn't have any members. It would be cut off if no one joined. And guess who joined?"
Heather motioned to the Goth girl sitting in one of the few chairs in the room. She had black and blue dyed hair, wore blue lipstick, and was wearing black attachable sleeves along with the school's girl uniform.
"Then the club wasn't cut." I rolled my eyes.
"Close enough." Heather shrugged, nonchalantly. "It only has one member."
"What about her?" I whispered.
"She's fine with it." Heather shrugged, once again.
"Really?" I rose an eyebrow in suspicion.
"When I asked her to loan me the room," Heather began, once again. "she said go ahead. She doesn't care, as long as she can read. A freak, huh?"
You're one to talk.
"My name is Gwen McAllen." the girl finally spoke up. "It's… alright to meet you."
"So, Gwen." I began speaking to the girl. "Heather's planning on turning this into… some kind of club. Is that alright?"
"Yep." she replied, simply.
"It's a huge bother."
"No, not really." she smirked and shrugged.
"What if you get chased out?"
"I don't care."
Wow, she's really nonchalant about all this, huh?
"Well, that's that." Heather spoke up. "Noah, I need you to meet in this room every day after school. You better show up, if you know what's good for you. If you don't, it's the death penalty."
Please tell me she's kidding.
"Whatever." I shrugged. …She's not kidding, is she?
The next day, I found myself in the clubroom, alone with Gwen. I decided, "What the heck? I'll try to talk to her." I mean, she's a fan of books, right?
"What're you reading?" I asked, taking out my book of Shakespeare's sonnets.
She just held up the book in response to show me the cover. "Is it interesting?"
"It's unique." Gwen replied, flipping a page in the book.
"Which part of it?"
"All of it."
"You like books, huh?" I asked, shrugging. "Me too."
"Whatever."
It was then that Heather slammed the door open, grinning evilly. Oh, no. What did she just do?
"Hey!" Heather greeted, now smirking. "Sorry I'm late. Took me a while to catch her."
Heather had found, or should I say, kidnapped another member for our little club. She was very… beautiful, to say the least. Ugh. Keep your mind together, Noah! She had long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and was very… erm… well-endowed.
"Where are we, Haley?" she seemed to not be the brightest block on the shelf. "Err, why are you locking the door?"
Good question.
Heather dashed over and placed an arm around the girl. "Allow me to introduce her. This is Lindsay Adams. Lindsay, this is Noah and Gwen."
"And where did you kidnap her from?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
"I didn't kidnap her." Heather scoffed, defending herself. "It was voluntary arrest."
"Close enough."
"I found her a sophomore classroom." she continued her explanation. "I go through every corner in the school during breaks."
So, at first she was insane, then she became a club starter, and now she's a lurker? Yeah. She's not weird, at all.
"So you abducted an upper classman?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, a sophomore anyway."
"So?"
"Never mind." I massaged my temples, trying to regain my train of thought. "Lindsay, was it? Why her?"
"Take a good look." an evil smirk spread across Heather's lips. "She's super cute."
"Gee, thanks!" Lindsay smiled, and nodded.
"I believe that turn-ons are an essential factor to this club." What kind of club was this anyway?
"…What did you say?" I asked, massaging my temples again. "All I heard was complete and utter idiocy."
"Turn ons, turn ons!" Heather exclaimed, still grinning. "Of course, I do have that, but we still need more."
She was now pacing around in a circle. Seriously, what was wrong with this girl?!
"Fundamentally," she began, once again, continuing her pacing. "in every sci-fi story, there's always an alluring character present. That's not all."
She did not just do what I think she did. Wait, she did just do what I think she did. She walked behind Lindsay and grabbed her breasts. Heather is insane.
"Um, Haley?" Lindsay looked stupefied. "Why are you grabbing my--"
"She's shorter than me." Heather interrupted, grinning. "But her breasts are bigger than mine. A cute face with big breasts is just what we need! I'm envious."
Gwen shared the same look of confusion that I did. Of course, I couldn't help but sneak a peak. Pull yourself together, Noah!
"Are you a moron?" I finally asked, pulling the two apart.
"Thanks, Noel!" Lindsay expressed her gratitude.
"It's Noah." How could such a cute girl be so dumb?
"But they're so big!" a seductive smile crossed Heather's lips. "Why don't you touch them?"
"Because I'm not a freak!" I returned, glaring at her. "Is this 'turn-on' thing the reason why Lindsay's here?"
"Correct!" Yeah, maybe Heather was dropped on her head as a baby. "We need a mascot, you know? Lindsay. Are you in any other clubs?"
"Chinese Cali…cali…California?" Lindsay mused, tapping her lip.
"Do you mean Japanese Calligraphy?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, Japanese Calligraphy!" Lindsay nodded and smiled.
"Oh, well." Heather shrugged. "Quit it. It'll conflict with our club."
Lindsay pondered for a bit and scanned the room. She noticed Gwen over on the other side of the room. A gasp? I wonder what that was about?
"I'll stay, Haruhi!" Where did she get that name from? "I'll quit the calligraphy club and join this one. …But, what is the literary club?"
"We aren't the literary club, Lindsay." Heather answered, smirking.
"But the sign says 'Literary Club'." Lindsay protested.
"We're just borrowing the room." I flatly explained. "This club is some kind of unnamed association made by 'Queen Suzuki' over there. Incidentally, Gwen here is the real literary club member."
"Oh, I get it!" Lindsay replied, smiling.
"Aha!" Heather exclaimed. "I just thought of a name!"
"Joy, joy." I sighed. "Tell us, oh great one."
"Sekai wo Ooini morigerutame no Suzuki Heather Brigade!" Heather rattled off in Japanese.
"In English." I face palmed.
"To save the world by overloading it with fun! The Heather Suzuki Brigade! Or the SOS Brigade for short!"
Lindsay looked at me bewildered, and I looked at her bewildered. We both turned to Gwen, who just shrugged in response.
I sighed. "Just do whatever you want."
Wrong choice of words, Noah.
Oh, Noah. He's doomed. He's totally doomed. Next chapter involves the first activities of the SOS Brigade, and some computer-jacking and extortion as well!
~Raven