I do not own any of the characters or storylines from the show etc, etc.
The Five Stages of Grief.
Chapter One:
Denial and Isolation:
Michaela finally fell into a fitful sleep before waking to the sound of reality. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what woke her up but now that she was awake she found it hard to surrender to slumber. After hearing Martha scurry down stairs to start the day Michaela decided to get up, not to welcome the day however, but to shut it out to where she could hide from it. Ultimately she locked her door.
Resigned to the fact that no one was going to disturb her, at least not for now, she wandered over to the bookcase which was filled with books big and small, books that could take her anywhere so she could be anyone. As her eyes roamed over the various volumes, covered in dust from being put aside in favour of medical journals over the years, her eyes stopped at one in particular.
It was a sunny day; sun shined through the trees in the backyard making them into shapes that only ones imagination can decipher, beckoning the person watching them to follow as they swayed through the breeze lighter than birds. In one particular corner of the garden were a man and his daughter. Anyone who saw them would see the love that they had for each other, the admiration that the little girl had for the man and the delight that the other took in his little girls antics. Michaela, 6, had waited for her father Josef to look at what she was doing then scurried up the tallest tree, all the while proclaiming that she could do it much better than any boy at school. In fact, she had been sent to the headmistress's twice that week for doing "un-ladylike activities." However Josef laughed and clapped at his spirited daughters antics, only ceasing when Elizabeth came out from inside and gave a disapproving glance toward their way.
Always the peace maker, Josef hoped he could distract Michaela with a story. It was a favourite of his, one his own mother had read to him many times. As Michaela settled on her father's knee on the oak bench, he began to tell of the wonders that the book held. The story itself was about an old cobbler's son who wanted to be a painter, but his father said no, that it's not a decent job for a young man. Eventually the young man prevailed, and made his father see that by doing what we dream about makes us who we are, and in turn makes us better people. "So you see Mike," her father concluded. "You can be anything you want to be, don't let others tell you what to be, you must decide that for yourself."
"I want to be," Mike said decisively with her hands on her hips, like she did whenever she was sure about something, "someone who doesn't go to the girly tea party this afternoon, Yuck"
Josef chuckled and lifted his daughter up to eye level, "we have to do and endure a lot of things we don't like also."
How true those words were to Michaela now even after all these years. Suddenly her thoughts were disturbed by a furious knocking by a very irate Elizabeth. Michaela was so consumed with the memory she hadn't realised that her mother had been knocking for several minutes now. "I'm not in the mood for breakfast mother, please leave me."
"Stop this nonsense right now, you're not a child, your father's gone and he's not coming back."
Michaela didn't hear the last words though because she didn't want to, and she wasn't ready yet. As much as she knew her father was really gone, a part of her still wanted to deny it, and was still afraid to say it out loud to herself. She wondered if that was because she was afraid of what was on the other side of the grief. In a way the grief, because it was caused by her father's death somehow became a part of him, a part in which she wasn't ready to let go of.
The next voice she heard at the door was more comforting. Rebecca, her older sister, was sensitive enough to her sisters' feelings to know when she needed to be alone. However, Rebecca was surprised when she was allowed entry. They surpassed the normal chit chat and went straight to each other's embrace. It was a bond of steel forged from living under the same roof as Elizabeth with someone who was not like the domineering matriarch. Rebecca decided to keep to conversation light as she knew how much her little sister was hurting. They talked of the weather, but somehow the conversation was steered towards memory lane.
It was early in the night. The night itself had just rounded off a busy day. Rebecca was married today to her beloved Edward. As everybody cheered them as they went away for their honeymoon across town, the youngest, five year old Michaela couldn't help but feel left out. Next to her father, Rebecca was her best friend. They did everything together when they had the chance. Now here she was being driven away with a new best friend. She was mortified. She couldn't allow this to happen, so she devised a plan. She told Pootsie, her favourite doll, how she was going to sneak out when it was dark, go across town and bring back Rebecca so they could play together. What Michaela didn't know was that Josef was right outside the door listening to this great plan. When night-time came Michaela slipped out of her bedroom, grabbed her coat, bonnet and shoes and headed out into the big wide world of Boston, with her father trailing close enough behind, but far away enough so she wouldn't see him. It only took fifteen minutes for Michaela to realise that she didn't know where Rebecca was, and in that time she had walked around the block twice. Josef decided to give some help.
"Are you lost young lady," he spoke startling her.
Michaela jumped round in fear which quickly turned into mortification when she realised who it was. Her father didn't believe that she could do it herself, she thought. Though she couldn't but she wasn't willing to admit it. Finally Josef took her daughter home to an incredulous Elizabeth who couldn't believe that her husband would let their daughter leave at such an hour. Once tucked in Josef explained to Michaela that although she wouldn't live here, Rebecca would always be here if she need someone to talk to and to help with homework.
Michaela couldn't help but laugh at the memory; still to this day, she couldn't believe that she had done that. Finally Rebecca had convinced Michaela to have something to eat as Elizabeth had already retired to her room until lunch.